The Disconnect

One of the main hurdles I find in the area of weightloss is the disconnect…between our mind and what we are eating.

Being aware that this is an issue, doesn’t make it any easier to control.  The key is to be conscious of what we eat, when we eat, and why we are eating at all times.   

Have you ever grabbed a big bag of chips and started eating only to realize that you are quickly reaching into the bottom of the bag?  What if you were to get a small bowl from the cupboard and fill it with a snack and only eat what is in that bowl, enjoying each bite?  Would you enjoy it any less?  I find with conscious eating, I enjoy food more because I’m not just mindlessly eating.

I would say my biggest struggle with keeping the weight off is this disconnect.  It’s tough because I’ve used food to fill a void for most of my life.   As I typed that last sentence, I realized how much shame is attached with it.   I think it’s because of this shame and the way we hide it, that people that have never had an issue with their weight have a hard time figuring out why someone can become overweight.   I was overweight not because I was lazy, and not because I had no self-control.  Quite the opposite.  It takes a lot of self-control to hide the pain I felt on the inside.  I happened to wear it on the outside in the form of unwanted pounds. 

So how do you avoid this disconnect with food?  You change the way you view food, and start eating consciously.  You become aware of what, when, and why you are eating. 

You allow yourself to feel.  You find a different outlet for it.  I guess that’s why Photography is so important to me.   Photography is my outlet for all the stuff I hold inside.   It’s a way to let it all out.   I always wondered why I connected with certain photographer’s photos.  And I finally realized that I connect with how they felt when they took the photo, or with the feeling that lies within a photo. 

Here’s a photo taken in 2004 that, for me, has a lot of emotion connected to it.

MS Walk0010
I took this photo at a MS walk that we walked along side my sister (Jan is holding the red heart balloon, my sister Sharon and my Dad are beside her).  She walked an entire 10 K.  We all walked together as a family, and I was so amazed and so proud that Janice walked 10 K.

What is your outlet?  Sometimes we forget as Mom’s to remember who we are beyond the wife, mother,  employee, entrepreneur…whatever the case may be.  We lose ourselves in the midst of life.   Do not leave yourself last.  You are the best version of yourself when you are happy and whole.  If you’ve lost who you are, give yourself permission to find yourself again.

I do hope something within this blog helps someone move forward.  I have to tell you, I may not seem like a private person, but I really am.  Several times I’ve wanted to take down this blog, only because if I think about how much private stuff I’ve shared here it gives me hives.  The reason why I share, and why I will continue to share beyond my comfort zone, is because I will never, ever, ever forget the hopeless feeling that comes along with being stuck at a place in life that you do not know how to move forward out of.  So, I do hope these words touches someones heart and helps them move ahead.  I have appreciated everyone that has taken the time to comment or that has sent me an e-mail.  It takes the hives away 🙂

Take care my friends,


6 thoughts on “The Disconnect

  1. Chrissy,

    I love that you have this blog & that you have “let us in”! You have no idea sometimes how these posts affect us. There has been a lot of disconnect for me lately. Not with food though. I posted on the forum about a month ago. Since then I have read your blog lots & it does make a difference. Thank you.
    Love & laughs – Tammy

  2. I have hives for you. Try coming out as a bulimic on your blog. I had hives ON my hives. But there’s a weird sense of release with coming out and coming clean, and sharing that innermost part we think is so dark and disgusting and unlikeable becomes freeing because we realize that we aren’t the only ones who feel or think like that. Emotional nudity. Good stuff. Keep it coming.

  3. Thanks again, Christine, for this inspirational message. Please keep on sharing. You do make a difference!

    I know about disconnect. I know about shame. I know about feeling powerless. I knoow this personally. intimately and painfully. It feels better to know that someone understands and has been there.

    Thank you for reminding me (us) that there is hope, that there is a way out. I’m so grateful that you have found the freedom in being conscious, not just about eating, but about life in general. I’m grateful for you, but I’m also grateful for myself. You remind me that it isn’t as dark and gloomy as it feels to me sometimes.

    Thank you Christine!

  4. Christine,
    You have no idea how much your blog helps me and gives me strengh. THe last few years have been a huge transition time for me with kids graduating and leaving. I have coped poorly with eating…ummm Crap and as a result i have lots of unwanted pounds and then that has added to more bad feelings and negitivity.. so I am trying really hard and working on taking positve steps to change this bad cycle i am in. I have joined curves and have made it my mission to go at least 3 times a week. I signed up to take an on line short course in photopgraphy. and riding my horse lots. I am not eating ugly foods at night when I am alone and feeling sad and sorry for myself. I have stopped drinking/eating huge amounts of pop, and other garbage foods. So far the scale hasn’t been kind in rewarding my efforts but I am hanging in and not giving up. ITs hard some days..but your words give me strength and hope that it can be done…so this is me saying thank you so much…you are so amazing!!

  5. Hey missy. This is awesome! What an inspiration… I so struggle with this everyday, and have such a difficult time envisioning myself beyond that which I am.. that I sabatoge myself. I’ll keep reading and keep working! Thanks for the words of experience that motivate!!

  6. Thank you girls for your comments.

    Tammy: You are STRONG and you INSPIRE me. Love and hugs to you my friend.

    Hope: I am so thankful for all you have brought into my life. I love your honesty. It’s the best part of you.

    Ginette: I love you. You were there for me during my journey and I’m so thankful for you. I believe in you.

    Margaret: I’m here for you! I know you can reach your goals. Keep going, you are one strong chick and you have grown through so much in your life!

    Paula: During our JTTH times, I remember your strength and positivity. You have such a wonderful outlook on life. Thank you for supporting me. I am here for you too!

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