Sunlight filtered through the living room window as she laid curled up braided into a fuzzy blanket on the sofa reading her book. She remarked inwardly that she should probably dust something as flecks and specks danced in the beams. Her book took precedence, delicious in content like a fine wine. She reminder herself the dust will be there later. Her daughter’s little hands lifted the corner of the blanket as she lumbered up to settle on her Mom’s lap.
“Whatcha reading?” She asked
“A book about Mothers” She replied
Her daughter’s long curled eyelashes took on extra dimension in the sunlight. She looked down at her little fingers woven into her own. “Someday I want to be a Mom too you know, what’s it like?” her daughter’s question interrupted her reverie….
“What’s it like to be a Mom?” hmmmm…she tilted her head to the side, and ran her fingers through her daughter’s hair…the loving Mom brush with built in massage.
To be a Mom is to change and grow right along side your children. The trick is to learn slighhhhhtly ahead of your kid’s knowing within life’s timeline, so you can teach through action. I’ve learned words without action holds no power.
You see…while you become a Mom, you are still a girl and a woman within.
You are a leader, yet also a member of a community of Mothers built on camaraderie and understanding. When you are a Mom, I hope you find your community with others whom will sit with you when days are dark, and support you when you challenge yourself. Who will find joy in your mess because they too will feel no shame about their own…Life can be messy sometimes.
Somedays you will be filled with this inner strength and knowing…a brilliant confidence that you are doing the best you can. And other days you will be filled with fear and guilt that you aren’t doing enough. And you only hope your kids will weave the fabric of their memories from the good ones.
You will love like you have never loved before. And that Love is so beautifully vast and without end yet so immeasurably scary within attachment all at once. You will continually remind yourself that your kids are meant to be independent. They will fly within freedom and retreat within self-governance.
They will find themselves…their voice and tribe, and grow a little further away from you daily. You only hope to teach them enough about loving and valuing themselves that they will choose a loving inclusive tribe who will raise them up within support and celebration.
To be a Mom is to learn when to share, when to listen, when to ask curious questions to spark their self-exploration, when to lead, and when to let go. You will question that timing always. It will fill you with insecurity. Trust your inner knowing, and don’t be afraid to show your weakness. It’s incredibly brave to be vulnerable. To say you are sorry and to admit you don’t have all the answers.
You will lean that you can’t protect your children from suffering nor should you. That’s the hardest lesson. You will want to take on that suffering as your own even though you understand it’s within that adversity your children will learn the most.
To be a Mom is to one day understand your own Mother a little deeper. Through your life experiences, the veil will be lifted to reveal her sacrifices and forks in the road. You will be in awe of her strength and you will empathize with her impossible choices. You will understand there were no right or wrong choices within those pivotal times in her life. There was simply the best she could do with the tools she had. You will have devote grace for her, and in return beautiful grace for yourself.
To be a Mom is to be yourself. You do not magically morph into this all-knowing, ever-sacrificing, super-human. You will grow as a woman as your children teach you to be a better version of yourself. They will be your reason for all you do.
But You are You. Do not lose her within Mothering. Keep on being silly, break out into random spastic dance when the mood strikes you, spend your valued time with those who make you laugh, meet new Moms with different ways to rock that role, take good care of yourself, forget the dust which dance in beams of light and get lost in your delicious book.
From my heart to yours,