Confessions of a Busy Mom Part Duh

Hello again busy Moms.  I’m here to make another confession.

Read part 1 here. I especially enjoy all the amazing comments left by other Moms on that post.  Makes my heart happy!

I really am very thankful that I fail a lot!  Every time I fail and every time I struggle: I judge a little less and I become a little more humble.   I have realized the older I get, the more I appreciate surrounding myself with friends that refuse to judge me and take me just as I am, and in return I do the same for them.

Really, if you look at kids, they are programmed that way.  They love quickly, they forgive easily, and they accept others with only the slightest bit of common ground.

So, I am trying to adopt a child’s mindset and just do the best I can.  My kids love me unconditionally, and I love them more than my heart ever thought possible.

Onto my confessions….

My name is Christine. I am a Mom to three high-spirited kids.  I fail a lot as a Mom.

  1. I can’t seem to stay on top of my kid’s homework!  All three kids should be reading extra everyday and practicing their spelling.  However, there are 3 of them to keep up with and extra curricular activities to work in as well!!!  Some days I rock it out. I have their homework lined up, lunches made for the next day, and bags packed and ready by the door.  But some days (more often than not) I am running around in the morning looking for socks that match, refereeing fights that have broken out about who gets to read the cereal box while they eat, and finding lost library books.
  2. I curse!  I try to rein it in, but sometimes the only word that seems appropriate for the situation starts with a “Mother” and ends in an “Ucker”.  I have programmed myself not to curse in front of children, so don’t be scared to come over.  I may say it secretly inside my head though, especially if I stub my toe or break something.
  3. I do not enjoy dropper-inners because my house is rarely orderly.  I try my best not to obsess over what should be picked up, but as the dropper-inner talks to me, I’m scanning the room for all the things that could have been shoved away quickly had I had even a couple minutes of notice.  Sorry, that’s just how I roll.
  4. I love and cherish time alone.  I just do.  I think that’s why I enjoy working out at times all by myself.  I plug-in the earphones, and block out all the daily worries and just zone out. I’m able to focus on things I do have control over.  It’s a good thing.
  5. I don’t know what to do with papers.  All types of papers. Paid bills, kids drawings from school, newsletters, cards from loved ones…anything that resembles a paper. I just freeze up and put it in a pile to file. Only I never file.  It’s a problem.
  6. I think a woman’s hand can tell you a lot about them.  I often look at women’s hands to find out more about them when I first meet them.  If they have chewed nails, they may be a bit of a worrier.  If they have a nice set of gel nails, they have the patience to go in over and over to get them filled.  I have always wanted gel nails.  But I know myself well enough to realize that I will walk around obsessing about breaking a nail.  It’s ok, I admire every nice manicured hand I see (this has nothing to do with failing as a Mom…it’s just an observation.)
  7. I HATE putting away laundry.  I fold it, but don’t put it away.  My kids often pick the day’s clothes from the clean laundry basket.
  8. I often get lazy about making healthy suppers.  Sometimes it’s just easier to throw in nuggets, or pick up the phone to the nice people at Panda Hut.  The delivery dude knows my name and remembers that my daughter likes the free calendars they give out once a year.
  9. Sometimes I can’t wait until 5 pm to have a glass of wine.  I’ve deemed 5 o’clock as the social acceptable hour to have a cocktail.
  10. I love my family so much, but sometimes I pull away when I miss them to make it easier that I miss them and they are far away.
  11. I enjoy humour perhaps a little too much.  I often make inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times.  I’m sorry, it’s a defense mechanism.  It’s like I have a touch of tourrettes.  See, inappropriate joke.  Case in point.

Roll call to all busy moms, share a confession with a friend today or share one here!  We all have weaknesses, and we all fail in the Mom department.   Mom guilt really doesn’t serve a purpose, life is just a little easier when you can laugh about it with a friend.  We are all just Moms who love our kids unmeasurably and we try our best. Let’s give each other a break! 🙂

Love, Peace, and a Little Understanding

As I was running yesterday, this phrase popped into my head.

Love, Peace, and a Little Understanding goes a long way!

I’m not really sure why it popped into my head, but lately I have realized how good it is for the soul to drop the judgments and replace it with a little understanding.  There will be times in life when those around you will not agree with your choices/thoughts/perceptions and you may not agree with theirs as well.  I have realized that their choices and opinions are theirs alone and have nothing to do with my own choices.   I can only control my thoughts, vision, plans, behaviour…etc so I’m wasting time and energy trying to change something I have no power over!

I have the power to change my perceptions, to accept others just as they are, to show love/peace/understanding because I haven’t walked in their shoes and they haven’t walked in mine!  We are all just people. 🙂

It takes very little to turn a bad attitude into a good one and I know that’s why the running bug has bit me.  Now don’t be fooled into thinking that I’m a graceful runner nor am I a fast runner…I was passed by a toddler followed up by a gentleman toting a wheeled oxygen tank on the running track yesterday.

I know I talk A LOT about how amazing exercise is for the body, mind, and soul but when you find something that brings you so much joy, it’s hard to keep it in!  If I’m having a bad day and my heart hurts, I can’t wait to push myself at the gym to the point that the physical pain takes over the heart ache.  I know that sounds odd, but for me exercise turns heart ache, into physical pain (if I push myself), into pride and joy…all in the course of an hour.  I may go in defeated, but I always leave uplifted.  I actually wish there was a camera that captured the expressions of people walking into a gym and then the expressions walking out.  There would be great proof in the healing power of exercise and the pride that accompanies it!

Exercise heightens a good day as well.  It turns a good day into a great day.  I often have to repeat in my head:  “Don’t break out into spontaneous dance in the middle of the running track, someone could trip over you.” and “Don’t start singing loud while on the treadmill.”

Here’s the song that made me want to dance it out yesterday during my run.  Instead I opted for a slow jog/fast walk…heavy on the hip sway accompanied with a head bob and a finger snap.  Yes, I am a dork.

Anywhoooo….just thought I would sing the praises of exercise once again!  It brings moments of clarity to my heart.   If you believe exercise is not something you could enjoy, I encourage you to try it out consistently (even a couple times a week) for a month, and see what it does for you!

Here’s to Love, Peace, and a Little Understanding to all we encounter in life. 🙂

Christine

Tough Time Finding Words

The story you tell about yourself becomes the life you live! If u want a different life begin telling a new story! #The Daily Love

I’m finally at a loss for words!!! ha ha   I never thought that would happen!

I recently attended the PPOC Exposure Photography Symposium.  It was an incredible week-end.  Each of the 4 days were filled with learning, connecting, and reflection.  There were 4 amazing speakers…check out their work if you are interested in photography (or even if you’re not!)  Chris Keating, Tyler Meade, Scott Robert Lim,  and Dane Sanders.

So why am I posting what I have learned at a photography symposium on my Reclaiming Life blog?

Because…

it

touched

my

heart

The mood in the room changed with each day we shared together and we became more of a community.  Dane Sanders was the speaker on the final day.  The tag line on his website reads “Discover what’s inside” and I now have a clear understanding that that is exactly what he does for the people he connects with .  From the start of the day he encouraged us to “go all in”, to commit (because opportunities pass!) and to participate in the discussion.   With each moment that passed, and with each person that had the courage to share their story, I could feel people letting their guard down.   I listened to others share why they got into photography.  Everyone has a story, and it touched my heart to hear each story that was shared.  Throughout the day, he also encouraged us to share a declaration if we had any sort of revelation after taking in all the info.

I did have a revelation, but sadly I did not have any plans to share it!   Wouldn’t you know it, my hand shot up before my mind caught up to it.  You see, I don’t speak in public…unless I have to (I’m taken right back to the 4H speaking days) so I guess my heart felt I HAD to share.

So here is what I realized that day.  While I can’t remember exactly what I shared because I was so emotional, it was something like this…

My name is Christine and I spent many years weighing 250 pounds.  For years I felt invisible and was scared to face my weight issue.  I woke up one day and decided to change my life.  I quit my job and spent a year working on myself.  There was a moment when I still weighed in the 200’s that I realized I was going to get to my goal weight.  There was no doubt in my mind.  I was going to do it.  I have realized that I still feel 250 pounds when it comes to my photography.

Along with these words came a steady flow of tears.  I shared that insight with 100+ other photographers in the room…most of whom I didn’t know, but who’s work I admire so much.  It was tough being vulnerable, but I felt completely safe sharing in that room and I was not alone in my tears.  There is something that happens when people let their guard down…you enter into a Real and Authentic relationship.

What came next after sharing my ‘lil revelation, was something I wasn’t prepared for.   I had a hard time taking it in.  Dane asked me to close my eyes while he shared uplifting words he saw within me.  I cried all the way through them.  Words like Strong and Inspirational.

You see, even though I no longer weigh 250ish pounds, I am stuck back there in my mind from time to time.  I KNOW what the scale says, and I can see that my clothes are no longer a size 20.  I can obviously see that, but my mind is often stuck back at 250.  It is the story that I’ve been telling my mind that is holding me back.

How does it feel to be stuck in that place?  It feels defeating.  It’s a place that lacks drive because fear comes first. It’s a place of self-doubt, “I can’t do it”, and maybe tomorrow.  Opportunities pass that should be pursued but I convince myself that taking risks isn’t worth the feeling of defeat if I fail.   Saying it out loud makes me realize how ridiculous it is to waste any amount of time in that negative place.

I  realized that the story I’ve been telling my mind is a lie and this lie has translated into choices in my life or rather lack of positive choices!   I am no longer holding back on living my life because of fear.  I have realized that by sharing both my struggles and successes that it gives others permission to share their story with me as well.  It brings forward relationships that are built on authenticity, honesty, and acceptance.

My story isn’t built on the foundation of fear because what starts in fear, ends in joy.

No more excuses.

No more waiting for positive things to come to me, I am going to just be positive.  I have learned that when you put positive out, positive will come in!

I have learned that it does make a difference when you take the time to lift someone’s spirit.

Some food for thought for your Friday:

What is the story you are telling your mind about yourself?

What would happen if we changed that story to one that is all about power, positivity, strength, and the unyielding drive to truly live the life we want!

What if we actually BELIEVED it to be true, and focused all our energies on all the things we are truly gifted at rather than the areas we struggle with?

Why waste any amount of time holding ourselves back from the dreams that are right there for the taking if we commit, go all in, and go after them?

From my heart to yours,

Christine

p.s. Thank you Dane! You have given me a gift that I plan on sharing with others.  Life is good.  🙂