Tag: Super Mom Syndrome

It’s All About Your Heart

Published on by ChristineLeave a comment

Fifteen years ago, on a beautiful October day crisp with the brilliant orange and yellows of fall, I secured my newborn beautiful son into his car seat ready to leave the hospital. I remember thinking “Are you actually going to let me leave with this new soul without asking if I’m at all capable of taking care of him?”

The golden morning light filtered through the window surrounding both of us, and I sat on the edge of the hospital bed and cried.

My favourite nurse walked into the room.

I was embarrassed and quickly wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my sweater.

Surely this was supposed to be the most exciting morning of my life! I was about to take this perfect baby home and shower him with love. I dreamed of this day since I was a little girl.

But I was scared beyond belief. I was responsible for his happiness and security, and I felt completely unprepared.

The nurse walked over to me and tenderly placed her hand on my shoulder. In a calm and reassuring tone she said “You will do just fine. Don’t worry. When you have your first child, no one ever tells you that you may not feel how you think you should. Just go home and love him.”

And then she prayed for me while I bawled like a baby.

I will never forget her kindness. It was probably something she did often for new Moms she cared for, but to me it was the most unbelievable gift of encouragement during the time when I needed it most.

To all you Moms out there, whether you are new to the role or seasoned veterans…

You are amazing.

There is no right way, just your own way.

For every unsolicited bit of advice you will receive about how to “properly” care for your child, simply listen to your own voice that instinctual knows what is best for your child.

Your children will flourish in your love. They will remember it.

When you rest your tired eyes at the end of a busy day and think about all the things you could have done better, remember that the memories your children will treasure most when they grow up are the happy ones.

They won’t remember that you burned the cookies, they will remember that you took the time to bake them cookies.

They won’t remember that you were a little late for their school play, they will remember that you sat on the edge of your seat with pride-filled eyes waving back at them when it was their turn to perform.

They won’t remember that your floors were dirty with watery footprints and sand, they will remember running with reckless abandon through the ice-cold sprinkler in the heat of the day and squishing the sand between their toes in the sandbox.

They won’t remember the hours of overtime put in to save for a holiday, they will remember the amazing family vacation where their laughter floated on the summer breeze.

They won’t remember the me-time you took away from the family to feel like yourself again, they will remember the happy Mom who returned with a revived spirit.

They won’t remember the days you couldn’t get away from your responsibilities to attend their school field trips, they will remember the school events you did make it to.

And they most likely won’t remember the expensive toy you caved in and bought after weeks of their insistent begging, but rather the refrigerator box you magically transformed into a space ship.

They will remember family dinners around home-cooked meals, and family dinners around take-out.

They will remember:

~your strong spirit

~your perseverance

~your loving embrace

~your encouraging words

~your tenacity

~your compassion

~your smile

~your laughter

~your soft heart

Sometimes us Moms need to give ourselves a break, and focus on the areas we excel, rather than the areas we lack.

Because our children will remember all the brilliance, magic, and good that lived within those precious childhood years.

In the words of a favourite artist Mindy Gledhill…

It’s all about your heart.

From my soft-Mom-heart to yours,

Christine

Confessions of a Busy Mom Part Duh

Published on by Christine7 Comments

Hello again busy Moms.  I’m here to make another confession.

Read part 1 here. I especially enjoy all the amazing comments left by other Moms on that post.  Makes my heart happy!

I really am very thankful that I fail a lot!  Every time I fail and every time I struggle: I judge a little less and I become a little more humble.   I have realized the older I get, the more I appreciate surrounding myself with friends that refuse to judge me and take me just as I am, and in return I do the same for them.

Really, if you look at kids, they are programmed that way.  They love quickly, they forgive easily, and they accept others with only the slightest bit of common ground.

So, I am trying to adopt a child’s mindset and just do the best I can.  My kids love me unconditionally, and I love them more than my heart ever thought possible.

Onto my confessions….

My name is Christine. I am a Mom to three high-spirited kids.  I fail a lot as a Mom.

  1. I can’t seem to stay on top of my kid’s homework!  All three kids should be reading extra everyday and practicing their spelling.  However, there are 3 of them to keep up with and extra curricular activities to work in as well!!!  Some days I rock it out. I have their homework lined up, lunches made for the next day, and bags packed and ready by the door.  But some days (more often than not) I am running around in the morning looking for socks that match, refereeing fights that have broken out about who gets to read the cereal box while they eat, and finding lost library books.
  2. I curse!  I try to rein it in, but sometimes the only word that seems appropriate for the situation starts with a “Mother” and ends in an “Ucker”.  I have programmed myself not to curse in front of children, so don’t be scared to come over.  I may say it secretly inside my head though, especially if I stub my toe or break something.
  3. I do not enjoy dropper-inners because my house is rarely orderly.  I try my best not to obsess over what should be picked up, but as the dropper-inner talks to me, I’m scanning the room for all the things that could have been shoved away quickly had I had even a couple minutes of notice.  Sorry, that’s just how I roll.
  4. I love and cherish time alone.  I just do.  I think that’s why I enjoy working out at times all by myself.  I plug-in the earphones, and block out all the daily worries and just zone out. I’m able to focus on things I do have control over.  It’s a good thing.
  5. I don’t know what to do with papers.  All types of papers. Paid bills, kids drawings from school, newsletters, cards from loved ones…anything that resembles a paper. I just freeze up and put it in a pile to file. Only I never file.  It’s a problem.
  6. I think a woman’s hand can tell you a lot about them.  I often look at women’s hands to find out more about them when I first meet them.  If they have chewed nails, they may be a bit of a worrier.  If they have a nice set of gel nails, they have the patience to go in over and over to get them filled.  I have always wanted gel nails.  But I know myself well enough to realize that I will walk around obsessing about breaking a nail.  It’s ok, I admire every nice manicured hand I see (this has nothing to do with failing as a Mom…it’s just an observation.)
  7. I HATE putting away laundry.  I fold it, but don’t put it away.  My kids often pick the day’s clothes from the clean laundry basket.
  8. I often get lazy about making healthy suppers.  Sometimes it’s just easier to throw in nuggets, or pick up the phone to the nice people at Panda Hut.  The delivery dude knows my name and remembers that my daughter likes the free calendars they give out once a year.
  9. Sometimes I can’t wait until 5 pm to have a glass of wine.  I’ve deemed 5 o’clock as the social acceptable hour to have a cocktail.
  10. I love my family so much, but sometimes I pull away when I miss them to make it easier that I miss them and they are far away.
  11. I enjoy humour perhaps a little too much.  I often make inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times.  I’m sorry, it’s a defense mechanism.  It’s like I have a touch of tourrettes.  See, inappropriate joke.  Case in point.

Roll call to all busy moms, share a confession with a friend today or share one here!  We all have weaknesses, and we all fail in the Mom department.   Mom guilt really doesn’t serve a purpose, life is just a little easier when you can laugh about it with a friend.  We are all just Moms who love our kids unmeasurably and we try our best. Let’s give each other a break! 🙂

Confessions of a Busy Mom

Published on by Christine20 Comments

There is no guilt quite like Mom guilt.   That nagging guilt that creeps in after the kids are tucked into bed, and the days events run over in the mind.

I find as I look around at all the other Moms lined up taking their kids to school in the morning,  they appear to have it all together.  They make the job of Mom look effortless.  I return home to my dish-filled sink, mound of laundry, and crumb laden floor fresh from the morning’s rushed breakfast and wonder how come I can’t get it together?  Do other Mom’s rush to find clean socks in the morning or want to lock themselves in the closet with a glass of wine when the kids start round 3 of whining and fighting?  Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Having said this, I have much appreciated the many women that have come into my life with the refreshing breath of honesty and have laid it all out there.  Their life is as hectic as mine, and they feel the same Mom-defeat as I do.

My wish is this: That we as women would stop masking the struggles and frustrations that come with being a Mom and let go of the expectation of being a Supermom of sorts.  That we would share our struggles with other women so we all know we aren’t alone in the mighty quest of being a good Mom.

The idea of Supermom is such an unreachable standard.  You do the very best that you can do.   Guilt serves no purpose.  I may not be a perfect Mom, but my kids are loved deeply.  They feel safe and loved and that’s all I can ask for.

This post comes on the heels of defeat. I got to thinking about how many of us are not only striving to be a certain size and shape (cookie-cutter body) but also striving to be a Mom that can handle anything and do so with grace while wearing the perfect butt jeans and a kick-ass pair of heels (well, no heels for me…I have weak ankles).

So, here is my confession.  My name is Christine and I have 3 kids.

I have a mound of laundry and although I tackle a load or two a day, it never goes away.

I have had my vacuum cleaner out for two weeks.  I vacuum a couple rooms here and there, and then I put it in a new location in my house.

If you come over to my house in the morning around getting-ready-for-school time, you may think my house has been ransacked or robbed, but if you come over at 3 p.m. balance is restored somewhat.

I have a stack of boxes in my basement that I’ve moved three times but I have no idea what treasures are in them, but I can’t bring myself to go through them as I’m sure they hold sentimental items.

I can’t quite seem to have all 3 of my kids on the same hair cut rotation, so one of them always looks more refined given the hair cut schedule.

I eat my lunch at 2 pm everyday because it’s an hour I can have to myself while Tessa has quiet time and the boys are still at school.

I would be a much better friend if I did all the things I want to do for my friends, but I lose the time and my intentions often don’t materialize.  If you are my friend, I’ve made you buns and a casserole in my mind several times.

I dance in my kitchen when I’m sad.  I always feel better after.

I have yet to take fall pictures of my own kids, but I’ve taken many fall sessions for others.  Kids I will corner you yet!

I think my husband knows how much I appreciate him, but I forget to tell him.  But I think it a lot.  Blog stalker are you there? 😉

Roll call to all busy moms, share a confession with a friend today or share one here!  There’s no such thing as a Supermom. We are all Moms: loving our kids and trying out best.