Magic Forks and Cracked Molars which turn into Banking Jobs  

There’s a phenomenon in my home, that I’m sure many others can relate to.

Along with the mystery of the missing one sock in the laundry pile, forks also go missing in my house.

What the fork, where do they go?

I was shopping the other day and was drawn into one of those kitchen stores; stocked with pretty kitchen-ey type gadgets.  I picked up a set of forks. It pained me to buy them when I had perfectly good forks just months ago; so I put them back on the shelf.

As I was washing the same 4 forks so we could eat supper; I inwardly made fun of my frugal self for not buying the forks. Later that day, I went downstairs to organize my unfinished basement turned sweat-freely-in-home-gym.  In the corner I spied a wooden box; like there was a spot light on it.

I opened it slowly, like it was a treasure chest. I realized it was a beautiful cutlery set gifted to us by my parents on our wedding day. The weirdest part of about this is I swore I already dumped the whole set into my everyday drawer years ago. I even wrote about it. Maybe I only used half of them; but I was staring in shock at a complete set of beautiful silverware.

I asked for a fork.

I found not just any fork; but a set of fancy forks.

Perception is everything: there was a part of me that lamented not using those fancy forks back when I was married; I am only now breaking out the “good china” now that I’m divorced? Oh the irony.

I think the real message here is within asking and receiving.

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye
shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you

What I’ve learned these past three years is that my prayers/affirmations/thoughts turn into things.

Some small…like a fork; and some huge like careers and a happy home built on love with my children.

Like that time when I broke a tooth; which turned into a banking job.

Stay with me….

I cracked a  molar eating ice. I don’t know why my molar couldn’t handle some ice chips, but it was my favourite molar. The one that does the most chewing. Of the meats.

At the time; I had no benefits. And that one molar ended up costing me $3,200.

It was a complicated molar.

Oh the things you do for your favourite molar.

That week; I received some help from my parents via a card in mail with a handwritten note and a CQ.

They are still my tooth fairy.

What was an amazing blessing to me is that I didn’t ask them for help.  They just intuitively knew that I was very much struggling at that time. Thank you

Three weeks after that; I got a job offer at a bank. I had never considered working at a bank; but a friend approached me knowing my skill set. She told me it came along with benefits. For the teeth. 😉

I had a huge smile as the day before, I had also set a goal to learn more about investments and finances. I had even looked into taking courses and said aloud “bring me opportunities to learn about finances.”

I was gifted a learning opportunity which came with benefits.

This is how it works in my life lately.

I trust and surrender.

I have confidence in myself and my abilities.

I stay the course and work hard.

Focus on the good.

The blessings.

Gratitude.

Humble awesomeness.

I’m taken care of.

I have all that I need.

Skeptics may say; you always had fancy forks in your basement…

But I choose to see the magic within Synchronicity.

Beautiful timing within need.

Thanks for the forks.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

 

 

 

The Heart of Balance

I’ve read a lot about balance lately, seeking the middle and avoiding the extremes of anything. “Avoiding” can create resistance however, and resistance can insight imbalance.

What you resist will persist…as the saying goes.

Catch 22

Last week at my day job, I had a conversation with a co-worker about personal training.

She said to me “but you don’t do that anymore”

I immediately felt defensive. Like I lost a part of my identity within an area of my spirit that is very important to me.

I will always strive to articulate and share the gift of health and fitness as it has changed my life. There were many years of my life that I lost to self-deprecation and defeating behaviours.

It’s not about fitting into a certain size.

Or out-running or out-lifting the person beside me at the gym.

For me, it’s a way I can channel the tricky stuff into self-love. To move and live the way our bodies are designed.

It’s seeking the middle.

Balanced.

Mind/Body/Soul seamlessly working together to appreciate the simple joys in life with vivacious energy. Actually experiencing life.

I struggle with the extreme side of the fitness industry.

Push past physical pain.

Eat your boiled chicken and steamed broccoli.

Skip dinners out with friends or loved ones.

Devote all your free time to sweating in the gym.

Craft yourself an ass you can bounce a quarter off of.

Pick apart your body in the mirror, oh tomorrow you can continue the pursuit for that perfect physical frame.

Never fit enough.

Never strong enough.

Just never enough…

Ugh, it’s a dangerous game leading to self-obsession.

Sometimes you have to step back and look at the big picture.

The Why’s.

The heart of drive which lives behind action.

I am seeking the middle.

Living in the right now.

I took some time to answer: Why is health and fitness important to me?

So I can live freely in a frame that isn’t restrictive to movement.

So I can run paths lined with golden trees and feel the euphoria that comes when I find my rhythm.

So that I can better keep up to my kids whose curiosity for life and hope for their future inspires me.

So I can enjoy food without feeding the extremes. Binging/Restriction.

So I can FEEL. The good stuff right along with the tricky stuff.

Understanding that maybe happiness is found within life’s ordinary moments.

The way the sunshine slowly seeps into my living room giving life to cherished photos as I do my Miracle Morning.

The way my son Lucas asks daily: “How was your day Mom?”

The way my daughter Tess side hugs me like it’s no big deal. But she closes her eyes for a brief moment.

They way my son Ty pokes his head out of the basement dramatically and yells “HI!” And we recap our day.

The way my kids tease each other at the kitchen counter as they eat banana bread.

The way my dog excitedly greets me at the door everyday like we’ve been apart for years.

It’s just so simple, but I have overcomplicated it.

I am doing my best at parenting solo (not truly solo, but solo in my home).

And I’m going to focus on the small victories within  my day.

The little bits of happiness that weave a big happy.

I’m going to treat those I love with respect and care, and do the same for myself.

I’m going to spread a little sunshine and happy to others.

Because why not? Oh my…this life has enough negativity and shame within it.

I wish the same for you…

From my heart to yours,

Christine

 

The Trap of Self-Deprecation

I was outside weeding my yard the other day, and I stopped to chat with a neighbour. She told me she was going to a woman friendly gym now. She expressed that she wasn’t comfortable working out in the “muscle head” zone and was happy to find a place to sweat with just women.

And it got me thinking that I was very thankful that I found my comfort in the gym I go to; where both men and women sweat freely.  But it also made me think about the fact so many find the gym atmosphere intimidating; and I was one of those once.  I tried to remember how that view evolved for me. Because it was a slow evolution into confidence.

Again, it comes down to a shift in my perception away from athstetics to training for my health and vitality. Learning to love my body for what it can do vs. how I “look”. These legs can run, these arms can embrace, this core keeps me stable, this back allows me to bend down and pick things up. Functionality to enjoy life better.

With that in mind, I went to my gym. I saw a regular there, and we paused to chat briefly.

She explained to me her challenges within her training, specifically around the body parts she wasn’t happy with. “bat wings” and if she dieted to lose more weight, it would affect how her ass looked. It made me uncomfortable to reduce her body to outward appearance, but more so I was uncomfortable because that’s the trap I have fallen into personally…the self-deprecating trap.

I’m writing about the woman’s point of view; because I am one. 😉 I’m sure men deal with this in a different manner. There was a moment within our exchange where I  could have validated the self-deprecation by adding in my own insecurities about my body. But at that moment, I made a conscious decision not to.

I said in reply “I think you look amazing. You see yourself differently than I do. And I am happy with my body”.

Because I have learned to be. Happy with who I am at whatever weight or level of fitness I happen to be at. Fitness is my outlet to pour whatever I happen to be going through…stress, anxiety, determination, the urge to push myself and see what I’m capable of, internal conflict…and spin it back to good vibes. I don’t care how I look while I’m doing it.

I have learned my worth is not determined by my frame; or the way my butt looks in a pair of jeans. But that sure is the marketing specifically targeting women “10 tips to get a lifted butt” —-> I’d probably get more traffic to this post if I labelled it that.

OK, let’s get real for a moment here, will the quality of my life be any more fulfilled if in fact my butt was lifted? ha!

And as women, wouldn’t it be better to skip the self-deprecating bullshit we impose, and just love ourselves in all the levels body/mind/soul?

How are we supposed to teach our daughters self-respect and worth if we are picking apart our own bodies in the mirror every day?

So I make a conscious effort to give myself a nod in the mirror. To look at my body in a way of love, and respect for the vehicle it is. A vehicle to take me places, love others deeply, and explore this world.  Going to the gym allows me to build a strong foundation to move more effectively and efficiently in everyday life tasks.

I hope to be able to explore life further when I actually have money saved to do so, and I recognize that’s in my later years.

If you don’t use it you will lose it.

I want to be Betty White old. Full of vitality!

Lift to build muscle. Eat quality to fuel your daily activity. Run/move to feel alive and because I’m able. Read this for further perceptive: https://reclaiminglifeblog.com/2015/03/25/the-face-of-ms/

But I refuse to stand in a gym and talk about all the things I don’t like about my body. It’s a disrespect to myself and devalues the totality of the woman I am, which has little to do with my bat wings or my not-so-lifted-tush.

That’s all I have to say about that!

From my heart to yours,

Christine

 

On Conformity: Words to my Daughter

Last night I went to bed before my kids. That’s what happens when you raise teenagers; they outlast you more often than not.

My daughter came into my bedroom to say good night and I could tell there was something on her spirit. I have learned to elicit the truth of her heart, I simply have to ask one question.

“How are you feeling right now?”

In the split second after I ask, I just have to look into her eyes to understand the answer.

With tears in her eyes, she explained to me that she was feeling bad about fitting in and that other kids don’t always “get her”.

You see her heart is deep and pure. She has so much compassion for other’s within. She often befriends the new kid as soon as she sees a hint of uncomfortable. She will turn back to help another if they fall. She will make those around her laugh if they are sad. She reads me too after work, and sometimes even when I tell her my day was ok, she’ll come and give me a long hug within perfect timing.

She’s expressive, creative, loving, and artistic.

I inwardly asked for guidance last night to find the right words to make her feel better.  Not words that will placate or pacify; but rather to give her a long-term perspective. Words I wish I knew as truth when I was a teenager.

These are the words my heart urged me to say to her…

These teenage years; JR. High, High School, are so minute on the scale of life, but also important in that you have many choices.

Work hard, get the grades which will give you many options to build the future of your dreams. If you decide to go to college, you will meet so many people who have the very same interests and drive. It’s a little more specialized.

Do not conform. You know who you are, and you are also learning about yourself. You are growing and evolving in character. Hold your head high. It’s ok to be “weird”. Everyone is a weird, some just wear masks to hide it.

These people who you want acceptance from; they will probably not be in your life after school is over. I promise you’ll look back and wonder why you cared about their opinions. Just do you, and build that future which is so very bright and full of hope.

You are kind, and loyal. Your true friendships will adore and cherish you. I had one main ride or die friend in high school, she is still my best friend today (and we are going to visit her and her kids soon). It’s not quantity, but quality.

But whatever you do, please don’t dim your light for anyone. Walk proud and understand your worth. You are so very worthy of all you want in life.  Study hard, and use your brain. Use your words for love. It’s OK to walk away from anyone who doesn’t show you respect. Because you respect yourself.

The entire time she just held my head and nodded. This morning as she was eating her breakfast I asked her “How are you feeling this morning?”

And she replied with a smile  “I’m good” and her eyes spoke that truth. I lifted my chin up with my finger, pulled my shoulders back, and said “Head high my girl”

From my heart to yours,

Christine

 

The Value of the Present

June 14th, 2018

I’m sharing my writing for this morning.

Today, I ask that I speak with intention and bring peace and understanding into my interactions. Within seeking my goals and purpose, I loose a thread of understanding within the fabric of this life…to live that purpose within the stage I’m currently in. The now.

Us humans always want “more“. We get lost in the pit of not enough.

But what if the job, the social network, the family, the stuff that fills a home, the car, the frame we currently walk around in, the clothes on our back…whatever it is that makes up our current life..is enough.  And what if it was taken away?  Then what value does it have?

There is always someone less fortunate that you. Always. Whether that’s within skill, emotional development, health, or wealth.

Perspective…

The body you have now is someone else’s goal. And that can come down to  the ability to walk, run, or simply move.  The legs you wish were smaller, another does not have the ability to move on their own.

The children you raise, is another’s heart’s desire.

The partner you dismiss or ignore is another’s wish for one last moment with theirs.

The annoying tasks in life such as grocery shopping, doing laundry, standing in line at a bank to deposit a pay check…taking care of life’s little responsibilities…is a flicker in the eye of a past that once was to someone who lost it all.

The good health you wake up with, is yearned for by another in a hospital bed.

So in framing it all in that way, maybe this place I’m in right this second is part of a bigger plan, or maybe it is the plan.

Can I be humble to recognize the priceless quality within my many blessings?

Can I be thankful for the work required to keep  this life, this body, these relationships, this home that keeps us safe and warm running on quality?

Can I find purpose within the ordinary?

Can I be the example to my children they deserve?

Am I giving my all to the job I have right now?

Can I have the courage to let go of the elements that do not support my happiness and self-worth? And can I release those elements with love for all that I learned (that is the better question)

We all have gifts, use them as a way to enrich this beautiful life for others.

It’s not in “what can I get“, but rather, “what can I give” that enriches not just my soul, but others.

If you can make another laugh or smile. Do that!

If you can teach, then teach.

If you have learned valuable lessons found within some of your toughest life challenges…ask that you use those for purpose. I promise you life will bring to you someone who desperately needs that knowledge and understanding in their right timing.

There is always beauty in the present if you open your eyes.

I will remember this as I go into holidays this summer. To enjoy time with my family camping, and be grateful that I can actually take that time to build more memories.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

 

The Two Questions That Can Change the Trajectory of Your Life

Over the past couple of weeks, I have started my day by asking 2 questions which have translated into more knowledge, faith, and in turn action.

These two questions, while they sound similar, are actually very different within their intention.

  1. What do I need to know today? Show me.
  2. What do I need to learn today?  Show me.

Show me what I need to know…

There is a rooted knowledge within which is an inner strength…your intuition. A flame that’s always ablaze although at times it may feel like just a flicker. You know what you know. It’s a part of your being and it’s strengthened through your experiences/choices. Your value systems live within your intuition. While you may be open-minded to other’s points of view, your intuition will always guide you to what is right for you…if you listen.

Asking: What do I need to know today? is like asking for your intuition to kick into overdrive so you take the right path for you and in turn those who depend on you.

Show me what I need to learn…

There are elements within each facet of life which require more knowledge to truly find fulfillment.

Careers, relationships, parenting, health & fitness, etc.

Like when you start a new job; Obviously there is a learning curve that you will climb if you seek knowledge and put in the work to retain the information.

Listen.

Observe.

Learn.

Retain.

You can approach life the very same way. By putting out the intention that you are hungry for knowledge and willing to learn, I promise you…life will hand you lessons all day. It’s crazy how that works. Please try it. I would love some company in this experiment. 😉

Those lessons will come to you through opportunities, people, circumstances, challenges, and adversity. It will be uncomfortable. Sorry, but it will.

At one time, I was disillusioned with thinking if I put out good, I would always receive good in return. While a whole lot of good came my way, there was also a whole lot of shit too (for lack of a better word).

It dawned on me, that all the tricky stuff carries with it something I need to know and something I need to learn. I’m talking about lessons about myself…not others. I can only change me.

You do you. I do me.

And I will take responsibility for my life, and the steps I take to reclaim it. Onus on moi.

Step back.

Look at the big picture.

I have this 2 and 5 year plan. I have always been a goal setter, but my goals have changed to quality of life and I have taken time to name what makes my life feel rich in fulfillment of mind, body, spirit.

Quality: High standards. Rich in experiences. Focussed on values, and the hierarchy of those values. Conscious choices. Top shelf living. Intentional and with care.

When I started asking those two questions, it also came with the realization that there’s so much I don’t “know” and need to learn. Surrender to that humility.  Be humble within my inner strength and areas requiring growth.

As simple as it sounds to start the day with those two questions…which it is…I was blown away with the experiences that came my way. Almost immediately. I could write several post about it, but to simplify…here’s a few.

~I was approached at work (bank job) with specific areas I could grow and be more successful at reaching my targets. Not just broad suggestions/ideals, tangible skill-sets that allowed me to exceed those targets and gain constructive feedback.  It’s a very empowering feeling to have knowledge that can translate to success within your career. It builds confidence and you just walk a ‘lil taller.

Show me what I need to learn: If you seek knowledge, opportunities will come to you. Ask questions, and even more comes your way. Ask the right questions, be specific.

~A bunch of things broke down in my home, and I had to find ways to structure my budget to pay for those things. It made me more hungry because it came from necessity…not just “want”. We are not talking “mamma needs a new pair of shoes” here, we are talking about plumbing, transportation, and a roof over my head…literally I need shingles.  ha!

That very month, I booked more photography sessions than I have in the earlier 4 months combined.  The right people came to me at the right time and it worked perfectly into all of our schedules. I also feel fulfillment in giving them photos/memories while being able to better support my family.  At the same time, I learned ways to save and be smart with my money via bank job. I learned to ask for help, which is intensely uncomfortable for me. Like level 10 discomfort.

Show me what I need to know: There’s a simple beauty within the moving parts of synchronicity. Trust in myself and my abilities. It will all be taken care of. I have a support system. I don’t have to do it all alone.

~The other day at my bank job, a woman came to my wicket whom I’ve served before. She has the most beautiful joyful vibe. She wore a bright tie dyed shirt, a big wicker brimmed sun hat, and a smile that lit up the entire place. She is rich in experiences and many years my senior. I respect her, and I hardly know her. We look eyeball to eyeball when we talk; and there’s always a smile that travels right to our eyes. After her transaction, she said to me: “You remembered what I told you weeks ago about my travels, my family. Thank you for your care. You have a very peaceful loving spirit”

Show me what I need to know: The true joy of life is connecting with another in a pure way through genuine care. Good eye contact, a sincere conversation where you are actually investing in learning about another. Loving kindness. It matters…oh yes it does. The gift of time and attentive interaction, even if it’s for a few minutes, is important and felt by others. One spirit to another.

I challenge you to ask those 2 questions before you start your day today.  And then open up those beautiful eyes and take it all in. Let those life lessons pour in and enjoy the change of life’s trajectory. Top shelf.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

13 Years at Goal

I missed my 13 year anniversary of reaching my goal weight as I went away to the lake to visit family.  Last year was the year of Law of Attraction (thankful that has continued) and this was the year of Course Correction.

Keeping with tradition, here’s a few lessons I learned in year 13. I’m going to write this just as I would in my morning journal. Like a little wisdom letter from present me to past me (and hope for future me).

Course Correction

Time is a gift. Use it wisely. If something within my life isn’t working, correct my course. Even if it’s a small correction…it has the power to eventually change my entire trajectory. Align my actions with my values. I already know what those are.

Develop and Trust My Instincts

Listen to that inner voice within that guides me. Make good choices. Choices that matter! In order to truly listen and tune into that inner voice, I have to build it. I have learned that meditation, prayer and quiet time can strengthen instinct. Ask questions, be still and listen. Tune out distractions. Observe and pay attention.

Carve Out “Me Time”

Stop being addicted to busy. Busy is the new buzz word. “I’m soooo busy”. Ok, so is everyone else. But there’s always time for what’s important. And it is also important to take time for myself. Even if that means getting up earlier. Learn to centre myself so that no matter where I am, I can bring back that sense of peace and calm. Create my own little zen zone. Within my home and within my mind.

Be Quiet

This is still tricky for me! I adore good conversation. The kind that makes me think and re-evaluate my position. Question my past thought patterns. I respect those who make me think (and if you make me laugh, that’s double adore). But sometimes, I get so caught up in formulating a response, I miss the point. I also enjoy those who check me when I’m not listening. Thank you. So Listen to understand. Be quiet. Someone once told me that because they were so shy and reserved, they found out so much information about others because most people are uncomfortable with silence. They will fill it with truth talk. Be. Quiet.

Love is Not Attachment

Oooh this one almost needs it’s own dedicated post. But it’s all about knowing my worth and loving others purely without conditions.  Giving others freedom to walk away if they wish, and because I value myself, my worth is not dependant on another. When others walk….is there sadness? Will I miss them?  Sure.  But that doesn’t mean I feel bad about myself in any way. Everyone deserves love without conditions or expectations placed, and if I’m truly authentic…I’ll attract my tribe. And I will KNOW what is right for me and what is not. I can create a cool little circle of trust and connection. But it’s not attachment. Love is freedom.

Give without Expectation

Give with a thankful heart. If it’s rooted in guilt or to appease another…it’s not pure giving. Giving is a wonderful thing! It’s a way to give back to another I care about. So if I’m going to do it, make sure it’s pure unconditional giving with no strings attached. It’s one of life’s happy little gifts that costs nothing, and the rewards are always great.

Do What You Love

I have a shirt I bought years ago that says “Do what you Love”

Farm girls make a wood pile. May Long 2018

That phrase didn’t mean a lot to me until I became very intentional with my time and energy. I shifted careers in search of balance with my children. I work, they school, and together we meet after the day is done. It’s been an amazing shift for my kids and I. I truly do love what I do. I literally get paid to visit and help people. No matter where I am, if it’s in service of others, I’m all about it.  I find fulfillment within giving.  I’ve learned a lot about serving others at my job. I still come home with energy and that’s a wonderful thing!

Find the Ways My Body Enjoys Movement

The best form of exercise is the one you enjoy. Run. Jog. Walk. Kayak. Go for a bike ride. Lift heavy  things. Play a sport. Just play. Enjoy the freedom of challenging the body. That feeling of being alive within movement….oh it’s so good! Because if you don’t use it, you will lose it. That’s the truth.

Sit in Grief and Then Build the Good Stuff

No more running from the tricky stuff. Do I have the courage to sit within loss? Grieve. Let go. Actually feel the feelings, no more numbing anything.  Become comfortable within discomfort. And then focus on creating positive memories. Intentionally bring conscious awareness to the good stuff by bringing all the senses into an amazing moment. You see, that’s where a memory is built. Drink it in. Mindful and with intention.

Be Ever Mindful of My Energy

Energy is infectious. If it’s off, take time to get it right agin. And then spread the happy, uplifting, positive. You never know how that may impact another. I do know how uplifting energy has impacted my life. I am so grateful for the energy-givers in my world.

Find My Voice

I think I say this every year, but finding my voice has been a very long road. Sometimes the voice I use is not authentic; and I feel it in my soul when I don’t speak my truth. When I would rather appease than speak up. When I stay silent rather than standing up for what’s right for my heart. Check myself.  Words + Actions = Integrity.

Thank you to all who continue to uplift, support, and encourage me. I hope I do the same for you. I will keep on trying to do my best in that area.

I found a whole lot of happy and fulfillment this year, and I’m excited to keep on learning and growing. I don’t even fear the tricky stuff anymore. I do not fear loss or discomfort within the new. I’ve intentionally sought ways to be uncomfortable and challenge myself this year, and surrounded myself with others who do the same.

The challenge within transition builds a strength of character. You not only find out who you are in your spirit, but also who stands tall beside you.

And whatever you do…

Stand tall and proud.

One precious joy fill life.

Live it well my friends.

From my heart to yours,

Christine