My goal for a very long time was to be strong.
Strong of body, mind and spirit. The power of all 3 working together.
Go to the gym, lift heavy. Repeat.
Have moments of grief privately, but try my best never to let others see that.
My focus has shifted as I have listened to my instincts and changed the direction of my path.
Shifting away from strength and falling authentically into delicacy, softness, tenderness.
As I invested time into identifying my values, and the hierarchy of those values, I came to the understanding that although there is strength, there is also a softness of my spirit that I’ve protected for a very long time.
If I truly want an authentic life full of joy, connection, and harmony…how can I always be strong, and deny the softness that is the very core of my soul?
You see, I understand now that boundaries are a sign of self-love and respect.
I know who my circle of influence and support is and the more I know WHO I am, the more expansive and true that circle grows.
No more ambiguity.
No more two faces.
No more hiding who I am so that I can make someone else “comfortable”.
I’ve let go of so much….with much respect for what they’ve taught me. I do not live in the shadow of regret, but embrace the wisdom of each step I’ve taken. I own that. There is no blame. I take responsibility for my choices.
Within that loss, I found myself. I found so much more within my truth.
And the truth is, I’m able to connect with others through honesty and transparency. Which is a tenderness of spirit.
I also found out who I am alone, and spent time growing my happiness my way.
The world if so full of disconnect already. It’s easier in many ways to be a rock, protecting yourself, than it is to be a rose.
Whenever I feel that grief of loss, or pain of what once was, I also know that’s the past talking. I do not live there anymore. No one does. All we have for certain is this present moment. How much of the present is wasted within focussing on the past, or worrying about the future?
My question now is this: What quality of life will I create within this moment?
Because it’s about the quality.
I want my home to peaceful, harmonious, full of love. Full of safety to be yourself. Authentic living.
The only way to have a home like that is to be those values.
That doesn’t mean I run away from the pain, but rather I deal with it.
No running from it.
No numbing it.
Authenticity of my spirit.
Bring it back to love. The truth of my heart.
Which is soft, gentle and kind.
I wish the same for you, that you embrace the truth of your spirit. Whatever values you hold true. And just be exactly who you are inside. If you’re not another’s cup of tea, no worries. You are still awesome tea.
From my soft heart to yours,