“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~George Bernard Shaw
I read the quote above and it had me thinking. I often think about how changing my lifestyle enabled me to find myself. But maybe it was about creating myself. There is something so freeing in that, because it opens up the mind to creating whoever you want to be.
I remember a time back when I worked at the fire school. I was sitting in the coffee room with my co-worker Melzi. I always admired her dedication to working out and she also ate really healthy snacks. 🙂 She was talking about working out and she did so with pride and you could tell she had a real love for it. I remember thinking I could never be that person, although I would have loved to be. I think I told her that I was going to work out later by walking my butt to the car after work. What I remember most clearly was that I was utterly convinced that I could never work out…I was too big to go to a gym. Gyms and working out were for fit people. It was sad to me that there was something in life that I wanted but couldn’t do. Not that I had to be told, but no one ever told me that I could. I also took for granted that everyone else knew that I could never be that person. So I stayed there…stuck for a long time…convinced that I was always going to be unhappy with my body-image.
Actually when I think about it, my c0-workers at the fire school had a lot to do with my decision to change my lifestyle. Another moment that changed me was because of a co-worker named Chris (I miss you). She loved taking pictures of everyone. She took a picture of me on my going away night out after I resigned my position. I was shocked to see how big I was when I later saw the picture. She told me she thought I was beautiful. I kept that picture of all of us up on my mirror for a long time as a reminder.
That night when we were all out together, a guy in the bar was being disrespectful to me. Chris told me I should never allow anyone to treat me that way (she told him off too). She told me to lift my head up high and it was then I realized how often I held my head down. She taught me to respect and love myself. Later after I had dropped the first 50 pounds, I came back to the fire school to work a contract. I was down that all of a sudden people were holding doors open for me when they hadn’t months ago when I was bigger. Chris told me they held doors open for me because I was walking with my head held high, rather than looking at the ground. I never thanked you Chris for all you taught me about life. Thank you.
It’s true that you show people how to treat you. It’s also true that if you want to create yourself to be something different, it’s up to you to do it. You absolutely can. If you are stuck in a place in your life that you don’t want to be, what’s stopping you from creating the person you want to be?
Have a great day. Walk with your head held high 🙂
Christine
Edited to add: After posting this, I realize there are areas in my life I need to change. I’m working on it. Life is all about change isn’t it?! 🙂
Reclaiming LIFE 