On Change, Drive, and Perseverance

For years I gave myself permission to give up. I resisted challenging myself. I fought against change. I scratched the surface of what I was truly capable of. I didn’t know what I was capable of because I never truly put in all of the effort I had to give.  I was cheating myself.  I recognize that now.

“Unless you are prepared to give up something valuable you will never be able to truly change at all, because you’ll be forever in the control of things you can’t give up.” Andy Law – Creative Company

I have a memory that I will always hold on to. I was sitting in my car outside of my work, it was 8 years ago.  It’s a memory of a thought actually. I was desperate to lose the weight I had packed on in my teens and 20’s but I didn’t know how. I thought “If only I could pay someone to teach me how to lose it. A quick fix. I don’t know how to eat a healthy and well-balanced diet. I don’t know how to work out. I just don’t know…I’m stuck here.”

The memory of the feeling attached to being “stuck” is something that I will never forget and I channel that memory every time I want to give up today.

Every time my legs scream to stop running ~ I remember, and I keep going.

Every time I want to skip a workout ~ I remember and I lace up my shoes.

Every time I believe I can’t reach a goal ~ I remember and I forge on.

That “stuck” feeling was so overpowering, that it’s the reason I won’t go back there. When I first started changing my lifestyle, I did feel like I was giving something up.  It was a way of life that I was comfortable with in many ways, even though it was destructive. It took awhile for the end picture to become visible to me, but I felt the benefits of exercise and changing my diet early on.  It’s funny how your tastes change, and they do change.

The prescription for change in regards to my lifestyle has transferred into other areas of my life that have required change.  One has to be able to give up something that they perceive as valuable.  The best part is, often down the road you realize that it wasn’t all that valuable in the first place and with healthy change comes healthy replacements carrying equal value.

I have a honeysuckle vine growing up the side of our deck.  This year it looked dead.  It was a sad mass of twisted & woven brown vine. I was surprised when I saw signs of new green growth from the bottom.  The new fresh vine has now woven its way into the dead.   I could have cut back the dead vine before the new vine made its way to the top, but I left it.  It’s symbolic. Never underestimate the power of new, the will to fight, and the drive to persevere when you think you have nothing left.  It’s within all life. Sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper to find it.

From my heart to yours,

Christine