For years I gave myself permission to give up. I resisted challenging myself. I fought against change. I scratched the surface of what I was truly capable of. I didn’t know what I was capable of because I never truly put in all of the effort I had to give. I was cheating myself. I recognize that now.
“Unless you are prepared to give up something valuable you will never be able to truly change at all, because you’ll be forever in the control of things you can’t give up.” Andy Law – Creative Company
I have a memory that I will always hold on to. I was sitting in my car outside of my work, it was 8 years ago. It’s a memory of a thought actually. I was desperate to lose the weight I had packed on in my teens and 20’s but I didn’t know how. I thought “If only I could pay someone to teach me how to lose it. A quick fix. I don’t know how to eat a healthy and well-balanced diet. I don’t know how to work out. I just don’t know…I’m stuck here.”
The memory of the feeling attached to being “stuck” is something that I will never forget and I channel that memory every time I want to give up today.
Every time my legs scream to stop running ~ I remember, and I keep going.
Every time I want to skip a workout ~ I remember and I lace up my shoes.
Every time I believe I can’t reach a goal ~ I remember and I forge on.
That “stuck” feeling was so overpowering, that it’s the reason I won’t go back there. When I first started changing my lifestyle, I did feel like I was giving something up. It was a way of life that I was comfortable with in many ways, even though it was destructive. It took awhile for the end picture to become visible to me, but I felt the benefits of exercise and changing my diet early on. It’s funny how your tastes change, and they do change.
The prescription for change in regards to my lifestyle has transferred into other areas of my life that have required change. One has to be able to give up something that they perceive as valuable. The best part is, often down the road you realize that it wasn’t all that valuable in the first place and with healthy change comes healthy replacements carrying equal value.
I have a honeysuckle vine growing up the side of our deck. This year it looked dead. It was a sad mass of twisted & woven brown vine. I was surprised when I saw signs of new green growth from the bottom. The new fresh vine has now woven its way into the dead. I could have cut back the dead vine before the new vine made its way to the top, but I left it. It’s symbolic. Never underestimate the power of new, the will to fight, and the drive to persevere when you think you have nothing left. It’s within all life. Sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper to find it.
From my heart to yours,
6 thoughts on “On Change, Drive, and Perseverance”
Thanks Chrissy! I needed this today. Somehow you always seem to have perfect timing in your posts. The past four years have been a never ending weight, workout and diet struggle. I have now developed a fantastic “team” around me and am finally finding what works for me. Its completely different and at times very frustrating. Im struggling with the end picture. The hardest part is getting the people around you to understand and accept as well as to try and not let their comments or suggestions get the best of you.
I’m so happy that I have encouraged you in some way Tammy. The end picture is often ever-changing. You are doing fantastic, and your drive and motivation to stay active inspires me. Xoxo Christine
I love this post. Encouraging, empowering and symbolic.
Love reading your blog my friend.
I miss you so much my friend. Thank you for your comment. I can’t wait to see you soooooon! xoxo
Hi Christine, Your Friend is so right, its seems you are right there just when I need a little boost too. It seems I will have a bad moment or something happens & I will turn to your blog and you have wrote something new. Your words give me the encouragment to continue on. Plus other times what you say helps me realize Iam not alone, as some of your thoughts are similar. and I go wow she has struggles like I do, and she can do it so I best get moving too. :). Its been a shaking time for me the last few years, and honestly I felt like giving up a time or two, and eat that whole bag of chips or any other random unhealthy food with in my reach. My world is really changing as my youngest son graduated here two weeks ago and is preparing to move to Edmonton as I write this. I am going to have an empty nest. I am working on me, and I wont lie I am scared but have made some huge positive choices in the last couple months, I am learning to do things I want to do,but didnt have time. I am learning how to eat better, healthier and I am so proud to say I have lost 18 lbs since my birthday back in April. I am walking more then ever and have even tried little jogging at times. THere has been rough patches and not everyone is supportive and the negativiy hurts at times. but I am working on not making their feelings my problem or feel guilty about it…I have long road to go yet..but its a huge start…thanks for being you…and for listening to a slightly crazy goofy woman ramble to you at times..take care. HUGS
Margaret my friend! We are all slightly crazy aren’t we?! lol There will ALWAYS be negative people in life. I have come to realize that negative people actually serve a purpose in life! Yin/Yang. They remind me that I never want to go back to a negative mind frame. Keep focussing on the good and the positive. This is a brand new phase in life. Embrace it! Your kids always know they can depend on you, because you are an amazing Mom. Enjoy this time to focus on all the things you pushed aside while you were focussed on taking care of everyone else. You are more powerful than you even realize. I hope you know that. You’ve found a safe place here to vent, and I’m thankful for all your comments and your words of encouragement. Thank you! I appreciate your comments so much and I’m here for you. xoxo Christine