Life – Page 10 – Reclaiming LIFE

The Issue with Food Issues

Published on March 5, 2014March 5, 2014 by ChristineLeave a comment

I had a conversation with a woman recently about her diet. She eats very differently than I do (now that I’m in the maintaining world). I’m always fascinated with the way others eat. I’m not sure why. No judgements, just interested. The newest fad diets, no carbs, carb cycling, high protein/little carbs, lots of carbs/little protein, Paleo…all of it is interesting to me. I want knowledge for curiosity sake given I’ve found what’s worked for me year 9 of maintaining my healthy weight. Everyone is different in what works for them, and that’s what’s so interesting.

Anywhoooo, after she told me about her diet, I filled her in a bit about my journey of shedding 90 odd pounds, she replied “This way of eating probably wouldn’t work for you because you have food issues.”

Huh. Food issues. I often admit to others I have food issues, but hearing it out of someone else’s mouth had an interesting effect on me as I’m not a fan of labels.

Oh my, I’m one of those weird food issue people. ha! I really thought about it though, and I’m going to own that label.

I have food issues people.

In thinking about it, doesn’t our society promote food issues wildly?! Everywhere you look there’s fat-free, low carb, non-saturated fat, natural, lean, (etc.) labels on all our foods. When you go out to eat, the portions are double what any human would need to get full. My children get fast food at School for hot lunch once a week (don’t get me wrong, I love hot lunch day because I run out of things to put in their lunch…it’s like a day off). I think our whole culture has food issues. How many people do you know that are on a diet right now ladies? How many women do you know that are completely comfortable with their weight? Forgive me for speaking broadly, but we are chasing this elusive goal to be a little thinner, and we want fast fixes. It’s no wonder there’s so many food related advertising. We are never satisfied. Most of the people at the gym are downing protein shakes after their workouts, myself included. That’s not exactly “the way nature would have intended” to ingest our protein. Food advertising is all around us and it’s screwing with our minds.

I often have to take a step back and remember that my goal is to be healthy, balanced, strong, and happy. Restriction does not make me happy. I will turn into a raging beyatch if you take away my occasional indulgence of a good meal out at The Keg, a beautiful glass of red wine, and a square of dark chocolate. I might stab you with a fork if you tell me how many calories are in any of those items. I don’t give a bouncing kangaroo. This maybe an indication I have food issues. I will own that.

If the truth be told, I work out to eat. I’m a foodie. I adore the care and love that is poured into the preparation of a kick-ass meal. I love to cook too. For that fact, I shape my activity around that, and follow the 80/20 rule. 80% healthy, 20% sorta healthy (although I will always maintain that a good steak, glass of red, or dark chocolate will make anyone happier).

What is my point?! I have food issues, you may have food issues, our advertising/talk shows/magazine covers definitely promote food issues. It’s OK to have food issues. I felt all shamey in the moment when that woman said that to me, but there’s no shame in it. I’m not alone, I know that.

So I’m going to stick to what I know, and just keep eating foods that come from nature. Foods that are not processed. Foods that are brightly coloured and my protein used to run away from hunters. I love meat. My beef-farmer-father raised me on it. That’s cool. The way you eat is cool too. It’s none of my business.

The issue I have with food issues, is the idea that I’m alone in my food issues. So here’s me screaming from the roof tops about it (or to 10 people who will read this post…hi Roxy)

This maybe the most pointless, round and round post I’ve ever written.

From my heart to yours,

Christine with the food issue

Empowering Strangers

Published on February 21, 2014 by Christine2 Comments

I’ve thought of ways to empower my daughter to build up her confidence. Which led me to the realization that my confidence level is not what I would hope for my daughter. Which led me to thinking how I can build up my confidence to be an example to my daughter. Which led to the realization that I feel most empowered and confident when I uplift other women. My friends, family, and strangers too.

So how does one empower other women?

You know when you think a positive thought about another woman when you see them? You might admire the way they parent, the way they light up a room by their positive energy, the way they go after their dreams without fear, the way they volunteer their time, the way they work their ass off. Insert positive thought here.

Tell them. Even if you don’t know them. I promise you, a positive affirmation (even from a stranger) will lift up their spirit. They will remember it.

I was at the gym the other day, and I was admiring how hard this one woman was working. She’s there often, and she has definition is her arms that takes a whole lot of sweat and dedication to obtain. And I wondered to myself, does she know that her hard work is paying off? So I silenced the voice in my head that said “don’t compliment a stranger, that’s weird.” I walked over to her and said “I really admire how hard you work, do you know that you have crazy definition in your arms? Your arms are my goal” She just stared at me for a minute, sort of stunned. And my head thought “oh my, she thinks I’m a wack-a-doodle” Finally, she replied with a smile “Thank you so much, I’ve worked at it for years.” Years people! That’s dedication right there. And that was that. We walked our separate ways and continued our workouts. A couple of days later, she was walking in as I was walking out. She stopped me and introduced herself with a big smile and asked me my name. Which officially makes us no longer strangers. ha!

In the process of highlighting the strengths of women around you, you will start to distinguish your own strengths. It opens up the mind to positive. It’s the very reason I love photography so much. To me, photography is looking for beauty in everything. We see objects around us so much that it becomes “ordinary”. We no longer see. Canadians: how ordinary and everyday is snow to us? We live in a sea of white for 6 months of the year. Have you looked at snow with different eyes lately? A snowflake is the most delicate, intricate, beautiful of our “ordinary objects”. Watch the excitement in someone’s eyes who has never seen snow before!

Open your eyes to the beautiful, it’s all around us and it lives within everyone. A face transforms with a smile. There is nothing more beautiful than a smile. It exudes warmth, kindness, connection. Expand your vision of what beauty is, and think about what you find beautiful about your Mom. Your sister. Your daughter. Your friends. When you think about them, it’s not about their outer. It’s who they are as people that make them beautiful…their spirit.

I have very vivid memories of the women who took the time to uplift my spirit. I specifically remember the women whom I didn’t even know. Why would a stranger spread positivity to me? She doesn’t even know me, so there’s nothing in it for her! I guess that’s why it stuck with me.

So today, find something beautiful within the women who cross your path, and then tell them.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

P.S. You are ridiculously beautiful

One Year of Strength Training Results

Published on February 17, 2014 by Christine2 Comments

The other day I weighed in for the first time in weeks and I realized it’s been a full year since I’ve started strength training…thanks to all that I learned from my fabulously focused trainer friend Shannon Olsen and from the kind and inspiring Kristine Rustand of BMS Bootcamps . Prior to working with these wonderful ladies, the majority of my exercise was cardio based with a bit of strength training. For the past year, I have focused on strength training with a bit of cardio. It’s been a complete change in the way I train to maintain my health and wellness. I love the focus and pride weight training gives me.

Because our society can be so weight loss centered…here’s my weigh-in results after one year of strength training:

I lost a total of 0 pounds.

That’s right I weigh exactly the same one year later.

If I were to base my results on the scale, I would feel like I failed or at the very least I would feel like I didn’t make a whole lot of progress.

Weight Loss: 0

BUT…

Strength Gain: I’ve increased the weight I can lift by over 100% in some areas. From squatting my body weight, to squatting 140 pounds for several sets. I’ve gone from a shaky total of 12 pushups to 3 sets of 12 incline pushups. I’ve gone from a dangly no-hope-of-pulling-up-my-own-body-weight to actually being able to do a couple of pull-ups unassisted. That’s HUGE for me. A year ago I had no idea what a deadlift was, today I deadlift a couple of times a week progressing in weight as I gain muscle. At the moment, I’m at 3 sets of 12 lifting 110 pounds. It shocks me each month that I can increase the weight I can lift in every area. It doesn’t seem possible in my limited mindset.

I was always intimidated by the “guy zone” at the gym. The weight training area was off-limits. I felt like I had no business being there. My biggest sense of joy comes from the confidence I have in that area now. When I see the squat rack free, I get all excited. ha! I used to spend my entire time at the gym on a treadmill, running to nowhere. There’s definitely a place for running, but now it’s a part of the plan….not all of my plan.

Aside from my new-found-happiness via weights, the greatest gift has been through the incredibly motivating and uplifting people I’ve met this year by consistently going to the gym the same time of day for a few days a week.

The man who was run over after his motorcycle crash…he spends hours at the gym strengthening his new legs.

I met a man the other day who has two brand new knees. After 6 months at the gym and rehabilitation, he was able to climb the rocks in Mexico and jog on the beach with his grandchildren. He said this to me last week: “take care of your body, because when you get to my age, you need it to enjoy your retirement.”

I met a Mom who found self-confidence and purpose through fitness as she coped with her kids leaving for school.

I met a man the other day who showed me how to use battling ropes. He’s got some years on me, but he kicked my ass! As he showed me all he can do, I could feel how proud he was of his progress. Seriously, kicked. my. ass.

I met a woman who progresses every time I see her. She leaves her heart on the gym floor and through one little compliment I gave her about how she motivated me to work harder, we now exchange smiles and hellos rather than two strangers passing by.

And finally, I’m always encouraged by a man who walks the track as he recovers from a stroke. His strength of body and spirit amazes me. He just keeps going and if you could see the expression of determination on his face you would be inspired to just get out and walk a lap along with him.

I’m sharing all of this today because for years I was caught up in judging myself based on what a stupid scale read. I know many of my friends struggle with this as well.

If you have worked hard towards your goals and you are frustrated with your progress, I want to encourage you to focus on the strength you are building in both your body and mind. Focus on how much farther or longer you can run. Focus on the uplifting of your spirit as you sweat out the stress. Focus on increasing the weight each session or the amount of reps you can do. Focus on uplifting others through the joy you feel. Get out and live! Remember where you started, but more importantly WHY you started. Where you are at today in your fitness, is another person’s goal. Be good to yourself and enjoy the ride.

This past year has been a gift as I’ve learned so much more about the limits (or what I thought was my limits) of my mind and body. The correlation between the two in undeniable.

If you don’t know where to start with weight training, go hire a trainer. It’s worth every dollar! Check out: http://www.bodybuilding.com . Great resources for free! (who doesn’t love free)

From my heart to yours,

Christine

I Am Beautiful (and you are too)

Published on January 29, 2014 by Christine6 Comments

Yesterday in a big gross cloud of anger, I posted this status:

My daughter came home from school in tears because a few girls called her fat in her swim suit. She loves swimming, and now she has anxiety over it. We talked about all the amazing things her body can do…run, swim, walk, get her to anywhere in the world she wants to go someday. More importantly, all the wonderful traits that make her who she is. Her wit, creative mind, kind sensitive soul, tender heart who loves others, her brilliant problem-solving brain. I’m still so angry about it, yet my anger isn’t at those girls. I’m angry that our society is so shallow. Girls are “more” if they dress a certain way into a single digit sized clothing. Exercise and eating healthy isn’t actually about health at all, it’s the newest fad diet to fit into those skinny jeans. There’s nothing healthy about that mind-set. It’s the unhealthy pursuit of an external ideal that will never be obtained. I’m angry that because a girl’s body type isn’t the standard of what society deems as “perfect”, that a girl feels shame. As she stood there with tears streaming down her face, I had a flashback to my own childhood in the locker room of the swimming pool. A difference of 30 years, yet the very same tears. So I laid awake last night wondering what I personally can do to break this cycle. All I came up with is to raise my daughter to love others. To love her body for all it can do. And I will remind her every damn day that she is a collection of amazing strengths that has nothing to do with her clothing size. I will be conscious of how my thoughts and actions will positively or negatively impact her self-esteem. And I will be so very proactive to build her up and build up those around me. “All we need is love”….well maybe that’s a bit naive, but what we DO need more of in this world along with love is empathy, understanding, and a lot more depth.

On behalf of my daughter, I received many messages of love, support, and relatable stories as a result. This issue is one we can all relate to, either because we have dealt with it as a parent or because we’ve been shamed by another who ridiculed some aspect of who we are.

When my daughter came home from school, I met her at the door with this little poster and then the kids and I went to jump on trampolines at the indoor trampoline park because nothing is more fun than bouncing into a big pit of foamy things.

After much (too much) thought, I realized something. I’ve repeated the “You are beautiful” mantra to my daughter yet I have an extremely hard time looking into the mirror and thinking that I am beautiful too.

Let me explain…I’ve been thinking about my beauty in an aesthetic sense. I’ve focussed on my outward appearance and I pick apart all the flaws I see on my body. Yet when I think about the beauty of my children, all I see is who they are as a whole. All of them. Their mind, soul, body, every little fibre of their being. I love it all to bits. I think every molecule of their being is beautiful.

Yet I’ve looked at my reflection with shallow eyes. Who I am has nothing to do with the shape of my body.

So today, and in the days ahead, I will look within and open my eyes to see beyond my outer.

How can I expect my daughter to believe she is beautiful if I secretly don’t believe that I am beautiful? I would never say that out loud, but I think it at times. We are what we think. Self-love is as important for us Moms as it is for our children.

I am beautiful. Perfectly imperfect.

Repeat.

And I hope when you look in the mirror today, you see someone who is ridiculously beautiful.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

More than a Mom

Published on January 22, 2014 by Christine2 Comments

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned when I became a Mom, didn’t happen until many years as a Mom. And it’s this: I am more than a Mom.

Let me try to articulate the jumbled thoughts that have evolved with each passing year as my kids get older…

When my son was born, I dove head first into a world I knew little about. I had no idea that I would lay awake at night riddled with Mom guilt over all the things I could have done better. Those first years of motherhood, I believed I had joined a culture of supportive women where the price of admission was simply being a Mom. What I’ve learned through various experiences is that women can be very hard on other women as soon as they join that mommy culture.

I quickly learned that truth night 2 of being a Mom. I was 20 when my first son was born, although I don’t remember feeling “too young” for the role. Looking back at it now, I was very naive about so much. I have a very vivid memory of a nurse telling me so. I felt inadequate within 48 hrs. ha!

There’s always debates within the Mom world about Should’s and Shouldn’ts…

You should breast feed, practice attachment parenting, read up on all the newest parenting trends, put the kids in daycare, enrol them in 2 years of play school, etc. insert should here.

You shouldn’t work full-time, go on vacations without the kids, allow them to play video games, be a stay-at-home Mom, etc. insert shouldn’t here.

Don’t should on me! We are all trying our very best to raise our children, and we all have very different ideas and values on the best way to do that. Us Moms need to support other Moms with empathy and understanding. Because this role is hard! We have enough Mom-guilt as is without another Mom throwing a should in our faces or pointing out our inadequacies. Let’s point out one another’s strengths and learn from other Moms.

I had a moment not long ago of greater understanding on what it means to be a Mom thanks to my own Mom’s influence. I have always looked at my Mom as….well….a Mom for obvious reasons; however, now that I’ve grown along with my children, I realize my Mom is a complex woman as we all are. She’s more than a Mom.

We grow right along with our children.

The idea that a woman’s wants/needs, body-image, ideas, need for autonomy, hunger for self-growth, desire for more knowledge, and wish for fun in her life should somehow magically melt away the moment a baby is placed in her arms is ridiculous.

Not that long ago, I had a conversation with an Older gentleman at the gym and I mentioned I had three kids. “You don’t look like you have kids” he replied. And while I didn’t take that as an insult, it did make me think about what it “looks” like to be a Mom. Do we have a dress code? Is my awkward sway-dancing (which is a watered-down version of real dance done in a public place even though the music streaming in my ear holes makes me want to break out in full awkward dance) between sets un-Motherly? Is there a tone of subdued voice I should sport? Am I too advanced in Mom years to wear double pony tails while I workout? Is my ACDC shirt not very Mom-like? Perhaps the slippage of the F-bomb is definitely un-motherly (I’m working on that). I dunno.

What I’ve learned as I’ve aged is that my mind hasn’t aged at all. Yes I’ve grown in wisdom through life experiences, but in my mind I’m still youthful. I hope I will always feel that way. And I hope my daughter doesn’t look at me and believe her hopes and dreams have to be sacrificed the moment she becomes a Mom. That’s if she chooses to become a Mom. The fact us Moms make sacrifices, goes without saying. Of course we do, so do Dads.

Moms…I’m sure we’ve all been in venues where other Moms were harsh in their judgments of our choices. Hell, I’ve done it myself, much to my disappointment. It’s a flaw that I’m even more aware of as I raise my children to be independent, kind, understanding people. There is so much power in love, understanding and support. Let’s give one another a break. We are Women doing our best to be Moms. But we are still youthful women within, no matter what our age.

I’m pretty thankful that I’m surrounded by the support of some amazing (and hilarious, fun-loving) women. I wish I had photos of all the amazing women in my life, a project for this year!

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Feeding the Soul with More and More

Published on January 13, 2014 by ChristineLeave a comment

Living in rich Alberta, Canada, there is no end of “more” all around us. More monetary possessions. More food. More traffic. More dept. More.

When other parts of the world have none. Many of our “problems” really aren’t problems at all. They are First World Problems.

I’m not going to typecast anyone, but I’ll tell you some of the first world problems that I fool myself into believing are actually problems.

1. Gaining weight

I have the luxury of gaining weight…because I have more than enough food in my fridge in order to overindulge. Do you know the amount of people who don’t have this problem?

842 Million people in our world don’t have enough to eat. source: http://www.wfp.org/hunger/stats

Here I am overindulging on the very life force that millions of people need. Not want. Need. People will die today for the very thing I struggle to control. I need to look at food with respect and nourishment.

2. I want to give my kids more than I had

Through the years, my kids have come home with school/friend issues. So and so has better clothes, a nicer bike, a computer, they get to travel every year with their family to a tropical destination. I’ve struggled with worry over my children’s education such as: the classroom is too crowded for my kids to get one-on-one attention.

According to UNICEF, 22,000 children die each day due to poverty. source: http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats

According to 2005 enrolment statistics: 72 Million of primary school age children in the developing world were not in school, 57% of those were girls. source: http://www.un.org/millenniumgoals/pdf/mdg2007.pdf

My kids have access to education!

3. It snowed again, it’s cold out, I don’t want to leave my warm home.

Let’s look at my home country: 30,000 Canadians are homeless at any given night, and 200,000 Canadians will experience homelessness in any given year. source: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/30-000-canadians-are-homeless-every-night-1.1413016

And I’m looking out the window of my warm home complaining about the weather?

4. My internet is down.

1.6 Billion people, a quarter of humanity, live without electricity. source: http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats

I go to the grocery store, conveniently within minutes of my home I might add, shop for too many items, come home and cook on my stove using handy electricity.

In developing Countries, some 2.5 billion people must rely on biomass: fuel wood, charcoal, and animal dung to meet their energy needs for cooking. Indoor air pollution resulting from cooking using biomass claims the life of 1.5 million people each year, more than half of them are below the age of 5. source: http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats

I have a stove and electricity my friends…I don’t have to rely on cooking with animal shit as my fuel. AND I don’t have to worry about polluting my big ass home when I do cook.

5. I forgot to call for water for my cooler, now I have to drink tap water.

A low 12% of the world’s population use 85% of the world’s water resources, and these 12% do not live in the third world. source: http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats

If you are reading this and you have access to clean water, you and I are in that 12%. We have the essential earth’s recourses just pouring out of our taps, we even use it to fill pools, water our lawns so they are greener, and take our kids to spray parks where they play it.

I think you get my point…

I lost a very important woman and mentor in my life this week, My Aunt Elda. She taught me important life lessons: to count my blessings, to love others, and to live with a thankful heart. She lived her life for people, not things.

I have to check myself. My soul has been fooled to believe I need more; when the reality is I have more than enough. I should be waking up every day with a ridiculously huge smile on my face simply for the fact I have the resources at my fingertips to live, to raise my children in health, to drink, to eat. Why has my focus shifted to the wrong things? Matters of the soul are not things.

So I have to ask myself: What am I doing to make this world a better place? To give more than I take? To love without condition? To be thankful and live with a grateful heart?

Thank you Aunt Elda for teaching me so much about what truly matters in this blessed life.

From my abundantly thankful heart to yours,

Christine

Be Amazing

Published on January 4, 2014 by Christine2 Comments

Sometimes life force feeds me lessons, and lately 2 words have popped up around me.

Be Amazing

So what does it mean to “Be Amazing”?

Here’s what it boils down to for me. Amazing lives within effort.

An Olympic athlete is amazing, and so is that person living with depression who doesn’t want to get out of bed every day, but they do anyway.

That buffed, toned picture of athleticism at the gym is amazing, but so is that man who walks laps of the walking track with the assistance of a cane because he’s recovering from the debilitating physical ailments due to a stroke.

That Pediatrician who volunteers time in a third world country is amazing, and so is that girl who fights her addictions everyday and stays clean not just for herself but for her children.

The recipient of a Pulitzer Prize is amazing, and so is that teenage girl who pours her heart into her diary rather than suppress her emotions.

That super Mom mega-volunteer at school who juggles it all with a smile is amazing, and so is the Mom who forgets bake sale because she works two jobs just to put food on the table.

That Dad who brings in a six figure salary and works endless hours is amazing, and so is the single Dad who cheers his heart out from the bleachers while watching his kids play hockey.

The woman who eats clean and ensures her family eats clean too is amazing, and so is the woman who goes to bed early so she doesn’t binge on the couch.

There is amazing in everyone.

Amazing is doing more than the body feels is comfortable.

Amazing is fighting our demons.

Amazing is being different in a world that pushes conformity.

Amazing is accepting that which we don’t understand and celebrating differences.

Amazing is forgiving when every cell in our body wants to hold onto anger.

Amazing is loving others and putting other’s needs before our own.

Amazing lives within action and it lives within thoughts as well.

Amazing is trying when fear tells us not to because we’ll fail.

And yes amazing just might be getting out of bed when we want to live in the comfort of darkness.

And a little Amazing (put on repeat) will grow into a ridiculous amount of Amazing.

So what’s your amazing? Be that today.

May your day be ridiculously amazing (just like you),

Christine

A Few Rules for Happiness

Published on December 11, 2013 by Christine6 Comments

We laid Grandma to rest this week. It was an emotional week as we said good-bye to an amazing woman of strength and faith. At her funeral, my Cousins and Aunts paid tribute with stories and memories. The central theme was that she left an incredible legacy.

This week I’ve really been thinking about the legacy she’s left and what it all means. There was a specific trait I greatly admired about Grandma, which also lives within my Aunt Elda.

Happiness

As the winter blues settle into my heart, this idea of true happiness is one I’ve decided to focus on with Grandma and Aunt Elda as my guide. Both of these amazing woman have been through hardship I will never experience. Grandma was a child who lived through the depression. I am a child of privilege in that I’ve always lived with a fully stocked fridge, a warm home to call my own, and I never had a living need that I wasn’t able to obtain. My children are also privileged in this regard. So how do I live in gratitude when I’ve never had to worry about the necessities of life? Food, clothing, a warm home.

Bare with me as I muddle through hours of thought on this topic. My sister-in-law Mel takes care of my Aunt Elda as she recovers from health issues. She told me that since Aunt Elda has joined the wing, the mood of the other residents has improved. Her positivity and uplifting spirit has spread to those around her.

Rules for Happiness I learned from my Grandma and Aunt Elda

Focus on the Good

Even though they have both lived through times of extreme adversity, they never dwell(ed) on it. Live in the present with a grateful heart. Focus on the good, and leave the bad where it belongs, in the past.

Give, Give, Give

Give of your talents, time, support, and encouragement. Always give more than you take. When you focus on uplifting others, your heart can’t help but be uplifted as well.

Faith

Both my Aunt Elda and my Grandma lived for God. Their faith was unwavering. They gave their troubles and burdens to prayer and left it in God’s hands.

Acceptance without Conditions

No judgments, just unconditional love without conditions. One shouldn’t have to worry about conditions placed on love. When you know your friends and family love you no matter what…through the good, the bad, and the ugly, you have the freedom to be authentic. If you expect this gift from your loved ones, one needs to love without condition too! It goes both ways.

Encourage

Live to encourage others. Always look for the good. If you feel something positive about another person, tell them! With encouragement comes the gift of courage to another, and that’s priceless.

Live Simply

This is a big one for me, I get loaded down with clutter sometimes. “Stuff” means little, fill your home with love and purge anything that doesn’t bring your heart peace and love.

Music

This one brings me happiness daily. Crank the music that makes you feel something. Even the music that allows you to process the trials in life. It’s therapeutic.

This song is playing in the background while I write this, haunting and beautiful all at the same time:

Read

Yes read! Read to broaden your mind, your dreams, your vocabulary. Read to escape. Read to feel. Read to move on. Read to laugh. Just read.

Focus on Family

There is nothing more important in life than family. Make it your focus. Focus on strengthening your relationships which transcends beyond the everyday small talk. Share, communicate, eat meals together. Focus on quality time, even if it’s a few minutes over a cup of hot chocolate or coffee. Focus on family traditions and build new ones.

Ask Questions and then Listen

The art of conversation is lost in this digital age. We communicate through text, facebook, messages, email. One thing I’ve always appreciated about these incredible women in my family, is they asked questions about my life. They held my gaze as we talked, and they truly listened. They are/were genuinely invested. When they asked “how are you?” they sincerely wanted to know details.

Empathy

To live with empathy for the needs of others is to live in love and connection.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. –Leo Buscaglia

Community

Community resonates within the casserole you take to someone in need, lending a hand when someone falls, helping with the harvest, paying it forward to a stranger, a note of encouragement, a coffee delivery, volunteering your time. Coming together for a common interest to bring a little more love to this world.

Sincere Appreciation

What do you appreciate about those you love? Now go tell them, show them how much you appreciate them. The very way they show you how they appreciate you can be given back through action in return. I read the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. If you haven’t read it, read it. It has changed the way I understand others. We all show love in different ways. In his book, Gary Chapman breaks it down into 5 love languages.

Words of Affirmation

Act of Service

Receiving Gifts

Quality Time

Physical Touch

Now the way you show love to others, may not be recognized as love because they show love in a different way. If you understand how your loved ones perceive and show love, you can then communicate love in their love language and vice versa. We are selfish creatures thinking about ourselves, and wonder why others don’t get us. We are just talking different languages is all.

Drop Expectations

When you expect something from another person, you will always be let down. If we were to drop the expectations we place on others, wouldn’t that be freeing?! Gone are the guilt trips, and feelings of being let down.

Stay Active!

Get outside! Travel, walk, play, visit, participate, join clubs.

Just. Stay. Active.

An active mind, body, and heart keeps you young!

Laugh

Laughter is healing. Laugh everyday. Make others laugh. Share your embarrassing stories! It can feel vulnerable to share your embarrassing life moments, but it allows others the freedom to do the same. Awkward life moments are funny. They just are.

Oh and Jim Gaffigan…

I know I will add to this list as time goes on. If I can take even a little wisdom from these women, my life will be richer and happier for it.

I’ll leave you with one more song, just because Music is so good for the soul.

From my happy heart to yours,

Christine

In Memory of Grandma: The Post Meant to Go Unpublished

Published on December 2, 2013 by Christine3 Comments

I often write posts that go unpublished. The post below (titled “April 2012”) was one I wrote last year after my Grandma Dicke broke her hip and was transferred to Edmonton for surgery. As a way to process, I wrote that post after returning home from visiting her at the hospital.

You see, just days before she broke her hip, she shared Easter with our family. During our Easter visit, my heart was heavy with the need to photograph my Grandma with her much-loved and well-read bible. I felt an urgency to photograph her.

Together, we captured this photo…

Grandma’s Hands: These are the beautiful hands of my Grandma. These hands have carried pails of milk, worked the field, prepared many home-cooked meals, and rocked babies to sleep. But above all, these hands trace the words within her well-worn and much-loved bible which she reads daily. The living word has shaped her life for all of her days. I’ve wanted this photo for years and I will treasure it for the rest of my life.

It is with a sad heart that I tell you my Grandmother passed away on December 2nd just a couple of hours before the sun rose once again. She was surrounded by love and prayers.

Grandma Hazel Dicke was 96. Ninety-six years full of loving, giving, and sharing will be remembered today and in the days to come by all who loved her. She was the strongest, most selfless Woman I have every known. She has left a great legacy and has passed down treasured and priceless lessons of faith, devotion, kindness, perseverance, and generosity to all who knew her. I count all of us within her family, very blessed that she was our wise Matriarch. I have no doubt she is reunited with her husband and daughter in glory now. I pray for my Aunts and Uncles, and My Mom and Dad as they come to terms with the loss of their beloved Mom. Along with her entire huge-full-of-love family and her trusted friends…may you find peace within your memories as well.

No more pain.

No more longing.

Just peace.

I never meant the post below to be published; however, this morning as I was going over photos of her, and listening to her favourite hymns through tears…I realized that one of my most cherished memories of her was during the days I read her bible to her while she recovered in the hospital.

I love you Grandma. Thank you for teaching me that a woman of grace is one who always gives more than she takes and does so with a grateful heart.

It seems fitting to honour her memory with words written when I felt closest to her beautiful spirit….

Unpublished post written April, 2012:

I walked quietly into my Grandmother’s hospital room. It had been three day since I had last saw her but it felt like weeks. Just three days ago, my Grandma had come out of surgery to repair her broken hip. This surgery was cause for concern as Grandma would soon be 95. The curtain surrounding my Grandma’s bed was drawn, and the first person I saw was my Father sitting on a stiff chair in a patch of sunshine in the corner of the room. My Dad smiled at me and with his smile my spirit calmed.

“Hi” I said quietly to Dad. As I came closer, I saw my little sister Brenda sitting quietly on the side of the hospital bed . I didn’t realize how much I missed her until the exact moment we made eye contact. We exchanged smiles and with the smiles there were words that remained unsaid but understood.

My eyes scanned to the right, finding my Grandma who sat in a wheel chair with her eyes closed. Grandma opened her eyes slightly as I approached, forcing a weak smile through her pain.

Grandma wasn’t the same as she was just three days ago. It shocked me how the pain wore across her usually serene face. You have aged sweet Grandma…I thought.

I visited quietly with my sister and Dad as Grandma dozed in her wheel chair. We caught up on one another’s life and then let the silence settle comfortably between us.

My Dad and sister slipped out of the room to visit another friend in the hospital and left me sitting across from Grandma. I remarked inwardly at her amazing strength. Her eyes fluttered open and found their way to mine.

“Do you want me to read your bible to you Grandma?” I asked. Grandma nodded with a smile.

I picked up her well-worn bible. It resembled a mushroom after years of daily reading. It was well-loved just like our Grandma.

“What chapter would you like me to read to you?” I asked.

“Psalms is my favourite” Grandma said longingly as she stared out the window.

I fumbled through the tattered thin pages as the smells of worn leather, gingerbread cookies and tea wafted into my memories as though they were woven within the sacred book. I sighed with relief when I found Psalms as I knew Grandma would start to question how often I actually read my own bible if I had taken even a second longer.

I steadied my quavering voice and recited the scripture of Psalms. Focussing intently on the words, I read carefully to Grandma ensuring my voice rose and dipped in the correct areas as to bring the words she loved to life. I was also intently aware that Grandma would know if I messed up any part of the scripture.

I finally looked up after reading a few chapters and gasped aloud as my eyes focussed on Grandma’s face. Never had a more peaceful expression settled upon a lovelier face. Just a few minutes before her face was wracked with pain, and now it was as if she had fallen to sleep during a children’s Christmas concert. Her face wore an expression of understanding, gratitude, love and appreciation.

I continued reading through Psalms and Proverbs while she listened intently and peacefully. As I was reading through the scripture, I realized almost every page had a passage underlined. The living word is my Grandma’s guide to life and her faith shines through her actions.

Rest now my dear Grandma, I will be back tomorrow to read to you once again.

Love always, Chrissy

Me and Grandma, 1976

I am a Work in Progress

Published on November 12, 2013 by Christine2 Comments

I am a Work in Progress.

As long as I put in the Work, I will make Progress.

I will always be a work in progress, and for that I’m thankful.

There is no finish line. There is no quitting. There is no end goal.

There is just more.

More to learn. To grow. To give. To receive. More goals to set once one has been reached.

Everyday I will commit to work.

Work encompasses many areas, and I will remember that my goals are to grow spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Without one of those elements, I can not attain balance.

And balance is required to progress with quality.

I am not a size of clothing, nor a number on a scale. I am not a stereotype nor an age.

I am so much more than I once believed.

Perfectly imperfect.

I am a happy heart full of gratitude and I will remember that positivity is a choice.

I will choose to be an energy giver, and not a ~~energy taker~~.

I will live life with my eyes wide open. Inspirational stories walk all around me and their strength and tenacity feeds my soul.

I am grateful for my health and the wealth of love that surrounds me through authentic relationships.

I am thankful for those who share their struggles with a vulnerable spirit yet continue to get back up every time they fall.

Thank you to all those who challenge themselves every time that inner voice of doubt says “I can’t do that“. I see you crushing your goals, and with every drop of sweat your determination and strength screams: yes I can.

Progress not Perfection.

Where there is progress within challenge, there is pride of accomplishment.

I will forever be a work in progress.

From my heart to yours,

Christine