Sometimes life force feeds me lessons, and lately 2 words have popped up around me.
Be Amazing
So what does it mean to “Be Amazing”?
Here’s what it boils down to for me. Amazing lives within effort.
An Olympic athlete is amazing, and so is that person living with depression who doesn’t want to get out of bed every day, but they do anyway.
That buffed, toned picture of athleticism at the gym is amazing, but so is that man who walks laps of the walking track with the assistance of a cane because he’s recovering from the debilitating physical ailments due to a stroke.
That Pediatrician who volunteers time in a third world country is amazing, and so is that girl who fights her addictions everyday and stays clean not just for herself but for her children.
The recipient of a Pulitzer Prize is amazing, and so is that teenage girl who pours her heart into her diary rather than suppress her emotions.
That super Mom mega-volunteer at school who juggles it all with a smile is amazing, and so is the Mom who forgets bake sale because she works two jobs just to put food on the table.
That Dad who brings in a six figure salary and works endless hours is amazing, and so is the single Dad who cheers his heart out from the bleachers while watching his kids play hockey.
The woman who eats clean and ensures her family eats clean too is amazing, and so is the woman who goes to bed early so she doesn’t binge on the couch.
There is amazing in everyone.
Amazing is doing more than the body feels is comfortable.
Amazing is fighting our demons.
Amazing is being different in a world that pushes conformity.
Amazing is accepting that which we don’t understand and celebrating differences.
Amazing is forgiving when every cell in our body wants to hold onto anger.
Amazing is loving others and putting other’s needs before our own.
Amazing lives within action and it lives within thoughts as well.
Amazing is trying when fear tells us not to because we’ll fail.
And yes amazing just might be getting out of bed when we want to live in the comfort of darkness.
And a little Amazing (put on repeat) will grow into a ridiculous amount of Amazing.
So what’s your amazing? Be that today.
May your day be ridiculously amazing (just like you),
We laid Grandma to rest this week. It was an emotional week as we said good-bye to an amazing woman of strength and faith. At her funeral, my Cousins and Aunts paid tribute with stories and memories. The central theme was that she left an incredible legacy.
This week I’ve really been thinking about the legacy she’s left and what it all means. There was a specific trait I greatly admired about Grandma, which also lives within my Aunt Elda.
Happiness
As the winter blues settle into my heart, this idea of true happiness is one I’ve decided to focus on with Grandma and Aunt Elda as my guide. Both of these amazing woman have been through hardship I will never experience. Grandma was a child who lived through the depression. I am a child of privilege in that I’ve always lived with a fully stocked fridge, a warm home to call my own, and I never had a living need that I wasn’t able to obtain. My children are also privileged in this regard. So how do I live in gratitude when I’ve never had to worry about the necessities of life? Food, clothing, a warm home.
Bare with me as I muddle through hours of thought on this topic. My sister-in-law Mel takes care of my Aunt Elda as she recovers from health issues. She told me that since Aunt Elda has joined the wing, the mood of the other residents has improved. Her positivity and uplifting spirit has spread to those around her.
Rules for Happiness I learned from my Grandma and Aunt Elda
Focus on the Good
Even though they have both lived through times of extreme adversity, they never dwell(ed) on it. Live in the present with a grateful heart. Focus on the good, and leave the bad where it belongs, in the past.
Give, Give, Give
Give of your talents, time, support, and encouragement. Always give more than you take. When you focus on uplifting others, your heart can’t help but be uplifted as well.
Faith
Both my Aunt Elda and my Grandma lived for God. Their faith was unwavering. They gave their troubles and burdens to prayer and left it in God’s hands.
Acceptance without Conditions
No judgments, just unconditional love without conditions. One shouldn’t have to worry about conditions placed on love. When you know your friends and family love you no matter what…through the good, the bad, and the ugly, you have the freedom to be authentic. If you expect this gift from your loved ones, one needs to love without condition too! It goes both ways.
Encourage
Live to encourage others. Always look for the good. If you feel something positive about another person, tell them! With encouragement comes the gift of courage to another, and that’s priceless.
Live Simply
This is a big one for me, I get loaded down with clutter sometimes. “Stuff” means little, fill your home with love and purge anything that doesn’t bring your heart peace and love.
Music
This one brings me happiness daily. Crank the music that makes you feel something. Even the music that allows you to process the trials in life. It’s therapeutic.
This song is playing in the background while I write this, haunting and beautiful all at the same time:
Read
Yes read! Read to broaden your mind, your dreams, your vocabulary. Read to escape. Read to feel. Read to move on. Read to laugh. Just read.
Focus on Family
There is nothing more important in life than family. Make it your focus. Focus on strengthening your relationships which transcends beyond the everyday small talk. Share, communicate, eat meals together. Focus on quality time, even if it’s a few minutes over a cup of hot chocolate or coffee. Focus on family traditions and build new ones.
Ask Questions and then Listen
The art of conversation is lost in this digital age. We communicate through text, facebook, messages, email. One thing I’ve always appreciated about these incredible women in my family, is they asked questions about my life. They held my gaze as we talked, and they truly listened. They are/were genuinely invested. When they asked “how are you?” they sincerely wanted to know details.
Empathy
To live with empathy for the needs of others is to live in love and connection.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. –Leo Buscaglia
Community
Community resonates within the casserole you take to someone in need, lending a hand when someone falls, helping with the harvest, paying it forward to a stranger, a note of encouragement, a coffee delivery, volunteering your time. Coming together for a common interest to bring a little more love to this world.
Sincere Appreciation
What do you appreciate about those you love? Now go tell them, show them how much you appreciate them. The very way they show you how they appreciate you can be given back through action in return. I read the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. If you haven’t read it, read it. It has changed the way I understand others. We all show love in different ways. In his book, Gary Chapman breaks it down into 5 love languages.
Words of Affirmation
Act of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Now the way you show love to others, may not be recognized as love because they show love in a different way. If you understand how your loved ones perceive and show love, you can then communicate love in their love language and vice versa. We are selfish creatures thinking about ourselves, and wonder why others don’t get us. We are just talking different languages is all.
Drop Expectations
When you expect something from another person, you will always be let down. If we were to drop the expectations we place on others, wouldn’t that be freeing?! Gone are the guilt trips, and feelings of being let down.
Stay Active!
Get outside! Travel, walk, play, visit, participate, join clubs.
Just. Stay. Active.
An active mind, body, and heart keeps you young!
Laugh
Laughter is healing. Laugh everyday. Make others laugh. Share your embarrassing stories! It can feel vulnerable to share your embarrassing life moments, but it allows others the freedom to do the same. Awkward life moments are funny. They just are.
Oh and Jim Gaffigan…
I know I will add to this list as time goes on. If I can take even a little wisdom from these women, my life will be richer and happier for it.
I’ll leave you with one more song, just because Music is so good for the soul.
I often write posts that go unpublished. The post below (titled “April 2012”) was one I wrote last year after my Grandma Dicke broke her hip and was transferred to Edmonton for surgery. As a way to process, I wrote that post after returning home from visiting her at the hospital.
You see, just days before she broke her hip, she shared Easter with our family. During our Easter visit, my heart was heavy with the need to photograph my Grandma with her much-loved and well-read bible. I felt an urgency to photograph her.
Together, we captured this photo…
Grandma’s Hands: These are the beautiful hands of my Grandma. These hands have carried pails of milk, worked the field, prepared many home-cooked meals, and rocked babies to sleep. But above all, these hands trace the words within her well-worn and much-loved bible which she reads daily. The living word has shaped her life for all of her days. I’ve wanted this photo for years and I will treasure it for the rest of my life.
It is with a sad heart that I tell you my Grandmother passed away on December 2nd just a couple of hours before the sun rose once again. She was surrounded by love and prayers.
Grandma Hazel Dicke was 96. Ninety-six years full of loving, giving, and sharing will be remembered today and in the days to come by all who loved her. She was the strongest, most selfless Woman I have every known. She has left a great legacy and has passed down treasured and priceless lessons of faith, devotion, kindness, perseverance, and generosity to all who knew her. I count all of us within her family, very blessed that she was our wise Matriarch. I have no doubt she is reunited with her husband and daughter in glory now. I pray for my Aunts and Uncles, and My Mom and Dad as they come to terms with the loss of their beloved Mom. Along with her entire huge-full-of-love family and her trusted friends…may you find peace within your memories as well.
No more pain.
No more longing.
Just peace.
I never meant the post below to be published; however, this morning as I was going over photos of her, and listening to her favourite hymns through tears…I realized that one of my most cherished memories of her was during the days I read her bible to her while she recovered in the hospital.
I love you Grandma. Thank you for teaching me that a woman of grace is one who always gives more than she takes and does so with a grateful heart.
It seems fitting to honour her memory with words written when I felt closest to her beautiful spirit….
Unpublished post written April, 2012:
I walked quietly into my Grandmother’s hospital room. It had been three day since I had last saw her but it felt like weeks. Just three days ago, my Grandma had come out of surgery to repair her broken hip. This surgery was cause for concern as Grandma would soon be 95. The curtain surrounding my Grandma’s bed was drawn, and the first person I saw was my Father sitting on a stiff chair in a patch of sunshine in the corner of the room. My Dad smiled at me and with his smile my spirit calmed.
“Hi” I said quietly to Dad. As I came closer, I saw my little sister Brenda sitting quietly on the side of the hospital bed . I didn’t realize how much I missed her until the exact moment we made eye contact. We exchanged smiles and with the smiles there were words that remained unsaid but understood.
My eyes scanned to the right, finding my Grandma who sat in a wheel chair with her eyes closed. Grandma opened her eyes slightly as I approached, forcing a weak smile through her pain.
Grandma wasn’t the same as she was just three days ago. It shocked me how the pain wore across her usually serene face. You have aged sweet Grandma…I thought.
I visited quietly with my sister and Dad as Grandma dozed in her wheel chair. We caught up on one another’s life and then let the silence settle comfortably between us.
My Dad and sister slipped out of the room to visit another friend in the hospital and left me sitting across from Grandma. I remarked inwardly at her amazing strength. Her eyes fluttered open and found their way to mine.
“Do you want me to read your bible to you Grandma?” I asked. Grandma nodded with a smile.
I picked up her well-worn bible. It resembled a mushroom after years of daily reading. It was well-loved just like our Grandma.
“What chapter would you like me to read to you?” I asked.
“Psalms is my favourite” Grandma said longingly as she stared out the window.
I fumbled through the tattered thin pages as the smells of worn leather, gingerbread cookies and tea wafted into my memories as though they were woven within the sacred book. I sighed with relief when I found Psalms as I knew Grandma would start to question how often I actually read my own bible if I had taken even a second longer.
I steadied my quavering voice and recited the scripture of Psalms. Focussing intently on the words, I read carefully to Grandma ensuring my voice rose and dipped in the correct areas as to bring the words she loved to life. I was also intently aware that Grandma would know if I messed up any part of the scripture.
I finally looked up after reading a few chapters and gasped aloud as my eyes focussed on Grandma’s face. Never had a more peaceful expression settled upon a lovelier face. Just a few minutes before her face was wracked with pain, and now it was as if she had fallen to sleep during a children’s Christmas concert. Her face wore an expression of understanding, gratitude, love and appreciation.
I continued reading through Psalms and Proverbs while she listened intently and peacefully. As I was reading through the scripture, I realized almost every page had a passage underlined. The living word is my Grandma’s guide to life and her faith shines through her actions.
Rest now my dear Grandma, I will be back tomorrow to read to you once again.
As long as I put in the Work, I will make Progress.
I will always be a work in progress, and for that I’m thankful.
There is no finish line. There is no quitting. There is no end goal.
There is just more.
More to learn. To grow. To give. To receive. More goals to set once one has been reached.
Everyday I will commit to work.
Work encompasses many areas, and I will remember that my goals are to grow spiritually, mentally, and physically.
Without one of those elements, I can not attain balance.
And balance is required to progress with quality.
I am not a size of clothing, nor a number on a scale. I am not a stereotype nor an age.
I am so much more than I once believed.
Perfectly imperfect.
I am a happy heart full of gratitude and I will remember that positivity is a choice.
I will choose to be an energy giver, and not a energy taker.
I will live life with my eyes wide open. Inspirational stories walk all around me and their strength and tenacity feeds my soul.
I am grateful for my health and the wealth of love that surrounds me through authentic relationships.
I am thankful for those who share their struggles with a vulnerable spirit yet continue to get back up every time they fall.
Thank you to all those who challenge themselves every time that inner voice of doubt says “I can’t do that“. I see you crushing your goals, and with every drop of sweat your determination and strength screams: yes I can.
Progress not Perfection.
Where there is progress within challenge, there is pride of accomplishment.
I’ve been thinking about how to live in gratitude lately, and I’ve changed how I think about it.
Living in gratitude has been this elusive state I’ve tried to live within, but there’s always something that throws me off and I think
“well I can’t be grateful for this ___insert hard life stuff here___”
Little by little over time I realize I’m not living with a grateful heart at all.
Today, I was watching Krysta Scoggins’ music video for “I Miss You”…
Watching the story within that video made me realize that we never know in life when we are living in “the best time of our lives” until something changes. Then we look back and think “if only I knew then to enjoy that time and not let it pass so quickly. I wish I had been aware of how blessed I was then” However, we don’t fully comprehend that until something hard happens and a shift/change in life occurs. Then we start living in a new normal with new blessings to discover down the road. Living in gratitude doesn’t mean life is perfect. Life is shaped by blessings and trials and it’s the trials that make us appreciate the good times.
So I got to thinking, that every time I grumble or moan about some area of my life that’s hard to deal with, instead I’m going to remember that this full-of-life busy home family life, this healthy body that allows me to run and train, this fun chapter of good times with friends…the very stage of my life that is happening Right Now just may be the best era of my life.
If I live in the best era of my life for all of my life, won’t that be something…
I couldn’t sleep last night, so as a result, I turned on Netflix and found this Ted Talk by Jane McGonigal. By watching this Ted Talk, you will earn 7 minutes of extra lifespan, and in turn you will learn how to add 10 years to your life.
I love Ted Talks, but of all the talks I’ve ever watched, this one will stick with me for all of my life. Scientific proof that your actions and thoughts do in fact add more minutes/days/years to your life. Transversely, how much of my life do I waste on negative energy and thoughts? How does this wasted negativity translate into my quality of life and those around me. It’s changed the way I view time and consequentially my behaviour. Thoughts become actions. We have the power to evoke positive emotions over negative emotions.
So when you have 20 minutes, please watch her amazing Ted Talk and enjoy your bonus 10 years of life.
I’ve maintained my goal weight for 8 years; however, I have lost and gained the same “last 10 pounds” many times. I weighed in the 140’s once for about a month. I went a little coo-coo for co-co puffs trying to maintain that weight. I quickly realized weighing in the 140s was not ideal for my lifestyle (which includes movie popcorn, chocolate and wine from time to time). 😉
I’ve learned so much losing the big chunk of weight, but I’ve learned more maintaining my goal weight. When I was losing the weight, weekly weigh-ins were a welcome accountability tool. I needed to see progress and it was measured in pounds lost.
Now as I continue into year 8 of maintaining, the scale has (at times) become an obsession. I know myself well enough to know that weighing weekly, sometimes daily, takes my mind into a place that’s not healthy. It puts a number on healthy living and I don’t want to live that way. Now that I think about it, the term “healthy living” sounds so boring. Very House on the Prairie running through a garden with a petty coat on. Maybe I should think about it as “vibrant living”, because that’s how this lifestyle makes me feel.
Here’s the thing, I’ve found a lifestyle that is more addicting than the potato chips I used to eat by the bag. There is no better feeling than the adrenaline and endorphins exercise gives you. If I read what I just wrote 10 years ago, I would be rolling my sleepy eyeballs from my very comfy couch. I’m so thankful that I stuck with it one little change at a time to actually change a whole lifestyle. Eating whole foods feeds my body energy in the same way processed foods sucks the energy away. You want to feel alive? Go for a run in the sun and feel the wind in your hair, feel the trails beneath your feet, feel the pride of accomplishment when you are done and drink a gallon of water to cool down.
Think about those who are struggling with their health, without the ability to run or walk, and how they would perceive a healthy person complaining about exercising. I look back to my days wasted with little movement and I want to scream from the roof tops how thankful I am for this new lease on life.
Back when I weighed 242 pounds, I didn’t understand what healthy “felt” like because I had lived a sedentary processed lifestyle for many years; which had become my new normal. I use to focus on photos of a former “skinny” self; and I foolishly focussed on what skinny “looked” like. I focussed on an external physical ideal that if I could only get back to, it would solve all these issues that had plagued my heart while living life in an obese frame.
I believed that once I hit this perfect goal weight number, my issues would melt away along with my fat. My issues hitched a ride on the back of the treadmill, and once I saw that magic goal weight number on the scale, those issues and insecurities were (and are) still here to deal with. Now I have to find ways to deal with them that doesn’t involve food. Tricky tricky.
Over the summer every year, I gain back the 10 pounds I lose in the winter due to holiday foods and less activity (sun tanning while watching kids play doesn’t burn as many calories as one would think). Every August I return home and run to the scale. Then I panic when I see the gain and I feel horrible about myself when I realize I can’t fit my jeans. I obsess. Weigh daily. Beat myself up for eating ice cream at the best dairy bar in the entire world at Jumbo Beach. Stress. Eat. Weigh. Attach my self-worth to a reflection in the mirror and a number on a scale.
This year, I’ve decided to do things a little differently. I put away my scale. Yes, I was excited to get back to my regular lifestyle and I took the time to think about what this lifestyle provides the quality of my life. I need to feel balanced, healthy, and whole. Because it can’t be about a number on a scale, or a size of jeans, or a physical ideal. All of those ideals fade away and are not sustainable as a goal. Instead I need to focus on a fitness and health goal, which has many levels to meet and new goals to reach.
I’ve had to correct my thought process as I begin my run. My thoughts start out like this…
“pick up your pace, you burn more calories that way. your pants are tight, get more cardio in so you can lose these last 10 pounds.”
Then I check myself.
“I’m not running to burn calories, I’m running because I love the freedom running provides my mind. I love the feeling of euphoria when the run is done. I run because I’m able. I run to clear my mind. I run simply for the love of running”
Same goes for eating. My thoughts go like this…
“cut down your after-holiday calories. you can’t eat that tubby tubberson.”
And then I check myself…
“eat food to fuel your run, you need energy to enjoy it! Eat clean, you know you feel more vibrant and have more energy when you eat that way. Eat to fuel your body to live life the way you want to…with energy and a zest for life. ”
Am I comfortable that I can’t fit my jeans after holidays? Nope. But, I’m not going to stress about it. Holidays were great, getting back to the routine of daily life is great. That’s life! Chill out. It reminds me why this lifestyle is so important for my health and vitality. Balance is so important!!!
I am not a number on a scale.
My happiness is not derived from a physical ideal.
Living vibrantly is how I feel within when I honour my body by making good choices, challenge my mind, and feed my soul with positivity which allows me to give that to others.
So maybe the energy worrying about what my body “could” look like if the last 10 pounds were not kicking around would be better served enjoying this crazy beautiful life.
A few photos from holidays, family is food for the soul…
A rare photo of us 6 girls and my Mom and Dad at the lake
Loosing weight is hard, maintaining weight loss is tough, and exercise is painful; however, living in a body that doesn’t feel like your own is way more painful. Back when I was at my heaviest, I will never forget the feeling when I looked in the mirror every morning and wondered to myself “how did I let myself get here?”
I was faced with a dilemma, I wanted to lose the weight, but how? There are so many methods to lose weight: no carbs, low carbs, no fat, high protein, calorie restriction, intense cardio…all of it made my head spin with confusion. I knew one thing for certain, if I was going to lose close to 100 pounds, I wanted to find the method that would allow me to keep it off for life. By some estimates, more than 80% of people who have lost weight will gain it back and then some within two years. That statistic was terrifying to me…all that work, sweat and tears for nothing?
I’m an all or nothing personality, so when I decided I was going to tackle my issue, I went all in. I poured over healthy living websites using my slow dial-up connection, it was an exercise in patience I tell ya! I quickly realized that what worked for one person didn’t mean it would work for me and I needed to get to the root of why I was overweight.
Simply put: I was addicted to food and I lied to myself on a regular basis about my food issues. I used food to deal with my life struggles rather than dealing with the emotion behind them.
Now when you have a food addiction, it’s unlike other addictions because you can’t quit eating like you quit smoking. You have to find a way to eat that is healthy both emotionally and physically.
Through trial and error I found these tips helpful.
Eat slowly
Listen to your body, it knows when it’s full. Stop eating before it gets completely full.
Eat foods that take time to chew, such as salads, veggies, fruits.
If it swims, flies, or runs, it’s a leaner protein.
Learn correct portion sizes, and then eat your meal from a smaller plate so your portion still fills up the entire plate
Eat with intention, don’t eat in front of the TV or Computer
Don’t be too restrictive. I live by the 80/20 rule, I’m on point with my eating 80% of the time, the other 20% I save for social occasions and to enjoy the odd treat. To me, a life of balance has room for a little dessert.
If I want to eat when I’m not actually hungry, make some tea, drink a big glass of water, go for a walk. Get to the root of why I want to stuff my face when my body is full.
Stop lying to myself and stop making excuses for bad behaviour that prevents me from reaching my goals.
After I tackled some of my food issues, I felt confident to face the other part of the equation: Exercise. Oh how I loathed exercise. Here’s what I learned though, you can still loath exercise and fall in love with the euphoria that comes as a result of exercise. I needed to push through each workout and stop the internal hamster wheel of complaints. Just get it done. The addicting part of exercise lives within the results, and results come quickly because our bodies are frickin’ AMAZING machines.
Because I struggled with food, it was important to add exercise in so that I didn’t have to be so stringent with my food choices. Move more, and I got to eat a ‘lil more of those whole foods which I didn’t WANT to binge on, that realization was a welcome surprise! There were certain foods that were triggers for me, meaning I wanted to eat more and more. For the most part, I cut those out. I never wanted to binge on apples, chicken, yogurt, veggies, whole grain rice, etc. Give me a plate of nachos, and I will body check you if you get in my way. So I realized Nachos probably wasn’t the best choice for me. 😉 Hunger drivers, and hunger suppressers…find which ones those are for YOU. One size does not fit all.
It took over a year to get the weight off my body, and the losing world is really no different than the maintaining world. I’ve been at my goal weight for 8 years. I’ve learned what worked for me 5 years ago, doesn’t necessarily work for me today. It’s a process of changing things up as the body adapts. I find that’s the fun of it though! It’s a new challenge, and weight loss goals transform into fitness goals.
Recently, I went through a hard time in my personal life and to that end I gained 15 pounds. I again poured over healthy living/fitness websites and was overwhelmed with the information regarding cardio/weight training. Do I add more weights and reduce my cardio? Do I up my cardio? Do I stop running my 5K’s and instead add High Intensity Training for a shorter amount of time? I tried different scenarios to the point that the love I had developed for exercise melted away into a chore and I became a slave to the scale. My identity within my mind was attached to the number that popped up on that stupid scale.
It hit me one day that I used to run my 5K with a smile on my face because it was my time to quiet my mind and release my stress. I had given that up because the research I had done suggested steady state cardio wasn’t as effective as interval training. But what happened to my love of running? It went away!!!
The key for me in this stage has been to stop focussing on the scale number, but instead focus on staying active doing the sports I love. Enjoy whole foods that keep my body satisfied and energized so I’m not thinking about food constantly. Weighing myself weekly is not healthy for my mindset. It may work for others, but again I learned that one size does not fit all. I haven’t weighed myself in a few weeks; yet my activity level and my mood has changed for the better as I’ve reincorporated those runs that I love! I run my 5Ks and ride my bike for the love of it and not for calories burned. Sometimes you have to stop controlling everything and just LIVE to let go of the stress.
THIS is how I have to look at life in order to not only maintain my goals, but to reach new goals:
I run for freedom of the soul.
I exercise for the love of euphoria and pride.
I eat for energy.
I love myself for the woman I have become, who no longer hides behind excuses and isn’t afraid of setting goals.
I will always have respect for the woman I was because that’s what keeps me from reverting to past behaviours that were the source of so much pain.
And the best part is, none of those elements have a thing to do with a number on a scale.
So yes, perhaps weight watchers, Jenny Craig, using a trainer, weekly weigh-in support groups, etc. may work for you at your stage in your life; but they don’t necessarily work for the stage of my life right now. Even the things that worked in my past, do not work in my present. That’s OK! Everyone’s goals are different and comparison is the thief of joy. Life is always changing, embrace the change and remember that one size does not fit all.
I’ll leave you with my new favourite running song:
Eight years ago on May 19th, I reached my goal weight. It took a long time to get the 90+ pounds off, so that day was a pretty special one.
Every year I take a comparison shot because it keeps me motivated and it also allows me to look back into the eyes of the former me who didn’t believe in herself.
I learned a lot this year. What used to work in the earlier years to maintain my weight wasn’t working anymore. My body adapted to the same exercise and food choices. I had to change-up my program and I quickly realized I needed help. I hired a kick-ass trainer; my beautiful friend Shannon. She created a strength program for me, and I was able to focus on strength training with her in the gym and cardio at home. It took weeks to visually see any difference; it’s an exercise in patience I tell ya! However, I did feel results quickly…I was able to lift more weight and do more reps. My cardio improved too, I was able to run my 5K in a faster time once I was focusing on a leg strength day with core work too. Most importantly, I learned I can do a workout anywhere with very little equipment. No excuses.
As for the eating part of the equation, I had to completely change that as well. Again, I felt out of control in that area so I joined in a Nutritional Challenge through BMS Bootcamps which I’m half way through. I’m learning so much about food choices, and the true meaning of “eating clean”. I realized I’m addicted to sugar! I was eating 100 calorie snack bars which were loaded with sugar and eating cereal every morning that was also very high in sugar (and often as a bedtime snack). Once I cut back on the sugar, I got off the roller coaster of blood sugar crashes I used to have. I added more healthy fats into my diet as well. I have a sustained level of comfortable fullness by eating 5 times a day and enjoying natural foods. I don’t have the cravings for certain foods I used to have. My taste buds changed and I actually enjoy foods that I didn’t like before. Eating clean has been a gift in that I have more energy, my skin has cleared up, and my hair is growing fast too. Huh?! Good stuff. I have enjoyed cheat meals as well! Everything in balance.
The other day on my run I was thinking about that photo of me from 10 years ago. As crazy as this sounds, it’s as though it’s not even a photo of me but rather of a close friend. I feel sadness and empathy for the old version of me. It’s not about the aesthetics, but rather what I see in my eyes and what I know was in my mind. I see pain, frustration, the urge to stay home and not face people, loneliness, fear. I had given up on myself and I didn’t believe my future was in my control. Feeling out of control everyday is no way to live. I didn’t understand the pride that comes from pushing myself both physically and mentally and how that transfers in a positive way to other areas of life. I was uncomfortably numb. That photo was taken just a few days before I made the decision to take control back and reclaim my life. So if I was to run into the old me in my life today, here’s what I would tell her…
10 things I would tell the old Me
1. You are going to have to do a lot of trial and error to find what works for you. Not everything will work, you will try many things that don’t work. You will get to know your own body and metabolism, so trust yourself enough to listen to what your body needs and don’t panic when you need to reassess. Chill out chicky!
2. The most important thing you can do as you age is to add weight training into your program. By adding muscle you will burn calories at rest and there is no better exercise medium than strength training to test yourself and feel success quickly.
3. Don’t overcomplicated things. Use cardio to burn calories, use strength training to build muscle which also burns calories at rest (replace the expanding fat with dense muscle), fuel your body with whole foods…healthy fats, lean proteins, fruits, veggies, nuts, whole grains. Eat often so you are never famished. Sleep 8 hours. Drink at least 12 glasses of water a day. Crank up your music and dance. Repeat.
4. Challenge yourself each and every day in some way. That voice that creeps in and tells you that you can’t is lying.
5. There is power in the vulnerability of sharing. Do not hold back sharing what you’ve learned simply because you are fearful of what other’s think of you. Like-minded people attract one another, and that can only happen when you live out loud.
6. Don’t give up when you don’t see results in the time frame you want. It took years to get to this point, you aren’t going to change over night. One step at a time grasshopper. 😉
7. Listen to your inner voice that knows what is best for you. Pay no attention to what others tell you that you “should” do. They don’t know your inner struggles, only you do. Sure another person can lose the weight while restricting calories, that doesn’t mean you should too. Slow and steady wins the race. Your goal is fitness, the weight will drop off in the process.
8. Start your journey by journaling your food, that way you can’t “pretend” you don’t know what you are eating. Knowledge is power; however, try not to be all-or-nothing which only ends in loss of control. Enjoy a cheat meal once and again. Balance is important. You won’t always have to journal your food, but if you find that you are slipping in your food choices, that trusty journal is a powerful way to get back on track.
9. If you have a bad eating day, recognize it as just that…one bad day with a clean slate the next. Get back on track and don’t beat yourself up about it.
10. This one is important: HAVE FUN!!! Don’t be so serious, this is a lifestyle for the rest of your life…so you better make it fun. Ride your bike, dance-walk, high-five a stranger, shake your ass, takes 10,000 steps a day and put a ‘lil attitude into it, don’t go one day without laughing, get outside with the kids (by the way old version of me, you’re going to have some pretty amazing kids who are going to make all of this totally worth it)
From my heart to yours,
Christine
P.S. If you are on your own weight loss journey and want some pretty cool resources to help you out, check them out HERE
As I was thinking about the chapter I just read, I had a pretty major ah-ha moment. When I was growing up on the farm, we often ate our meals around the harvest schedule (and often off the tail-gate of the truck in the field). For some reason, I remember rushing to eat…often. I was also told I should eat every bite on my plate and if I did, I was praised.
Even today, my mind believes I should eat quickly and to finish every single bite. This isn’t working for me! Because I’m eating too quickly, my mind can’t catch up to my stomach signalling when I’m full. I’m learning…again…to eat slowly and with intention.
I’m not writing this post to place blame on my hard-working Mom for my eating habits! I’m writing this post because today I realized I do the same thing to my own kids! I rush their meals because I’m done so quickly. I could be making meal time an opportunity to visit and become more connected as a family, yet I’m rushing the process from eating to clean up. I also encourage my kids to eat everything on their plates, rather than asking that they eat until they are full. Hmmmm, in the words of my Dad “Holy Doodle”. I’m going to change this.
And because no post is complete without some sort of visual, here’s my kids serenading me while I cooked supper…
Just another life lesson that sneaks up and bites me in the nose…
Reclaiming LIFE 