I’m Weak

I had a fantastic chat with my sister Roxy this week.  It seems no matter how long we may go without chatting as life gets busy, our lives often run in parallel. 

We were talking about what it is we continue to tell ourselves in our daily lives.  That lie that we in turn go out of our way to prove wrong.  For me, it’s that I’m weak.  I have a hard time showing vulnerability (although it may not seem that way since I put a lot of personal struggles on this blog).  I don’t want to ask for help.  In fact, I’ll short-change myself and my kids in the not-asking-for-help process. 

I create these posts of random thoughts, and at the moment I hit the “Publish” button on this blog, I go through a day of wanting to take it down and have hives (pretend hives they may be) at the thought of putting it out there…

to be read…

to be judged…

to be taken the wrong way…

So what if it is taken the wrong way?  So what if there are those out there that will mock and judge my point of view?  It really doesn’t matter.  There will always be those people in all of our lives that can’t accept us for who we truly are.  That’s OK!  It doesn’t change the fact that we are who we are.  It’s important to surround yourself with a support system of people who DO value and accept you…exactly who you are, but that will continue to support and encourage growth in your life.  Life is far too short to live in a cloud of negativity. 

What is your lie? 

What lie do you go out of your way to prove wrong? 

Do you think this hurts you?

In what way?

Whatever that lie may be, it’s important to challenge it, and push yourself out of your comfort zone to deal with it.  For me, posting on this blog is part of that process. 

Some thoughts for your Thursday!

It’s taken me many years to truly accept who I am as a person.  Through this self-acceptance, it’s opened a door to accepting others for who they are.  We are all perfectly imperfect.  It’s refreshing.

Here I go once again, hitting the publish button.

Christine

12 thoughts on “I’m Weak

  1. Christine your blogs are always so amazing, they make me think, and they make me face things that I sometimes don’t want to. My lie is that I don’t hurt…I always say that I have gotten to a point where the fact that my family (brother, sister, grandma, aunt, uncle, and sporadically mother) cutting me off because I chose to not believe in the same religion as them doesn’t hurt anymore. I say I’ve gotten to the point where I feel it is their loss, I am always open to a relationship with them, my arms are always open, and so it is their choice, and it doesn’t hurt anymore because it’s been so long…I LIE!!! It hurts, I hurt, and when others hurt me, and then apologize I say “that’s ok” and pretend not to hurt, but I do. I always want others to be ok, and not feel bad, so I put on a mask…that is my lie. I am trying to overcome this lie and tell people that it hurts when they do something, but it’s a long process, and very hard. Thanks to your blog, I will continue to work on it, and I will tell myself, when in that situation…Kelly, you’re lieing…DON’T LIE!!! So thank you Christine, for making me stop, and think!!

  2. That’s a tough one when it comes to family. You have all the right in the world to support your own belief system. That is absolutely your right. I’ve learned that you can’t control anyone else’s views but your own. It takes the pressure off, and you are in turn just responsible for you. It doesn’t change the fact that it hurts. It hurts like hell. It sounds like you have a great support system however in your life, so lean on them whenever you need them.

  3. I love you and am so grateful for a sister who insists on living the best life she can and for inspiring others to do the same!!! Thank you for our talk the other day, and for being incredible–all parts of you. All the perfectly imperfect and the perfectly perfect parts too. xoxox

  4. Chrissy I so look forward to the days you post on this blog. Like Kelly,when I read your posts they make me think. They make me want to be a better person as well. I wish I had your guts to hit publish or send.
    My biggest lie is that ” I am happy” I am not. And to tell you the truth the last few months have been the most unhappy months I have ever gone though. People ask me how I am doing…am I hanging in there and I reply I am fine. I walk around with a fake smile..like everything is a-ok. It is hard for me to talk about this with friends and family…I feel like a broken record to them..always complaining,or mad or upset. I never was this girl. I was the happy go lucky,always wanted to have fun,didn’t care what people thought kinda gal. NOw I find myself in a place I don’t want to be and can’t seem to get out. Why do I care so much if someone else is happy,comfortable,feeling included when I myself don’t feel that way? I want to put myself first…and go through a day confident in a decision . I want to be able to tell that friend that her comment hurt my feelings and tell them that yes I do feel left out at times and no I am not ok…I am sad. Ok. This is not where I wanted this to go I kinda went off there.haha But so be it,it is how I feel…now I am scared to hit the publish button:)

  5. Thanks for hitting “publish” each time. I am a fan and follower of your thoughts.

    My own lie is/was “I am useless”. It’s exhausting to prove how useful I am 🙂 If I write a book someday, I think it will be “It’s all about lies and that’s the truth”.

    You and Roxanne are doing amazing things in your lives! Thanks for sharing your journey here.

  6. Jaimey, I know all too well about walking around with a fake smile at times. It’s OK, your family and friends care about you. Sometimes it just takes being honest with ourselves and other to get past things in life. Remember your passions, surround yourself with the positive, let go of negative self-talk and be good to you! Hugs to you!

  7. Thank you Cathy, you are the reason our talk started on this issue! You are so wise, and have so much insight. I can’t believe you would ever let your mind believe you are useless. I hope you know how much you help others.

  8. I’ve just stumbled upon your blog and I really like it 🙂 I’ll certainly come back to read more of your writing.

    My biggest lie… is probably that I’m giving it all I have, and that I can’t do more. I’m reansonably successful in my studies, with friends and in life, but much of it lacks passion, lacks real enthusiams, lacks me putting in the hours and the effort. I could be way better of if I got off my couch and actually did the things I’m talking about.
    I think if we look closely, we are able to find even more of these lies, but I guess, working on one is a start.
    Thanks for inspiring thought!

  9. Whats my lie i tell myself?
    That i have nothing to offer people. I go through life quite a bit quiet in my thoughts. I go into may situations, friendships, and conversations thinking this thought – what do i have to offer, will i be accepted for who i am? Even when i do have a opening to share, i shut down and sell myself short from giving part of myself – my thoughts, my dreams, my desires, my fears. I believe that no one actually whats to hear what i have to say. No one to blame, of course i have been hurt to believe this lie, but really its just an internal dialogue that is my battle alone. In my heart i know this is a lie. I know that i have been wonderfully made and i do have something to offer, for i am unique as we all are. The problem lies with following with my head, the lies instead of my heart. So this is my struggle, my sensitivity in life. This is where my heart needs to be handled with care.

  10. Belle, I can absolutely relate with this lie. You’ve given me some food for thought as well! It’s easy to get complacent in our lives, and forget to challenge ourselves and truley follow through with the goals we’ve set out. I agree, that there are many more lies that we are all living. Thank you for your insights. Come again! I’m glad you found your way here!

  11. Brenda! I love you and thank you so much for sharing what you have! You are wonderfully made and have so much to offer others in life and you do! You give so much of yourself to the people you care about (and even to strangers that cross your path). I hope you remember that, and you put it all out there because we love you and accept you just as you are. Many are attracted to your honest, sincere, and giving spirit and you have so much to be proud of. You have such a huge heart and I’m blessed to have you in my life. Love you so much.

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