Category: Life is good

Back to the School Yard

Published on by Christine17 Comments

Kids can be cruel.

Over the years, each one of my 3 kids have come home with hurt feelings from some sort of school yard incident.  My daughter is the youngest, and I find cruel words are more prevalent among girls.  I tell her it will all be OK, just continue to be who she is, and don’t worry about what others think of her.  She’s perfect as is.

I realize this is easier said then done.  I work from home, so it’s not very often I actually dress professionally when I’m editing photos alone in the comfort of my office (think yoga pants and baggy well-worn t-shirts I refuse to give up).  Today I managed to get up early and I actually did my hair, makeup, and dressed like I was going to work where *gasp* I would see other people.   Three O’Clock snuck up on me, and I quickly put on my favourite pair of brown heeled boots and ran out the door to pick up my kids from school.

You see, I love these brown boots. I feel confident when I walk in them, but since I’m usually at home I don’t wear them often.

I felt good getting ready for the day, so I suppose I did walk to school with a bit more zest in my step.  As I waited at the doors of my daughter’s school for the bell to ring, I noticed two Mom’s talking quietly beside me.  They looked over at me, and then continued whispering. I felt like they were talking about me, but told myself that was ridiculous, what could they possibly have to say as I was just standing there minding my business.

As they walked by me, the one Mom said to the other Mom loud enough so I could hear them “I didn’t know it was wear-your-stripper-boots-to-school day”. The other Mom looked down at my boots and giggled as they walked away.

I just stood there stunned with my mouth open, staring at my much-loved boots. “These aren’t stripper boots” I mouthed.  And then I felt stupid… just. for. one. second. The anger quickly set in, and in that moment of anger I wished I had something witty to say back.

It wasn’t until I got home that the patronizing words I tell my daughter rang in my mind…”Just be yourself, don’t worry what anyone else thinks about you.” The thoughts I had a few moments before in the “school yard” also replayed in my mind and I pictured myself saying to my daughter “Be confident, but not too confident or other women will think you are stuck up. Be happy, but not too happy or other women will think you are annoying. Be kind, but not too kind or other women will question your motives. Be proud, but not too proud or other women will think you are vain. Work hard to be successful, but not too successful or other women will be threatened by you.”

Bull Shit.

To all you women out there, I learned something today and it’s also raised more questions in my mind. Perhaps you can share some of your wise insights with me. Please feel free to comment on this topic!

Why can’t women support other women? Forgive me for generalizing because this certainly isn’t the case for the women I am so thankful to have as friends. I’ve met some incredibly supportive women. I’m just questioning the times in our lives when we are cut down by other women.  Those times when catty comments filled with judgments and misunderstanding are delivered when one just needs support, kindness, and understanding.

There’s many distorted messages in the media that influence women in a negative way regarding how we should look, how we should dress, what our role  in society should be…and yet, rather than women supporting and uplifting other women, there are times like the one I just experienced that places us right back into the school yard full of insecurities.

So this is what I learned today:

Do not make assumptions about another person based on their outside appearance. We are all just people. All deserving of respect and kindness. If a judgment pops up in my mind about another person I’m going to take some time to evaluate WHY I feel that way…because it’s more about my own insecurities. It truly isn’t about them.

Kindness is important.

Positivity is important.

It’s OK to walk with your head held high. There was a time not so long ago when I walked with my head down. I refuse to go back there.

I will continue to support, uplift, encourage and genuinely appreciate the women I meet in life. It DOES make a difference.

Positive out, Positive in. You receive exactly what you give. I’ve never been so sure of this fact in all of my life than I am now.

I will accept and love those who I do not understand.

I will not hide my strengths because of another’s weaknesses.  There is nothing wrong with loving who you are. I was trapped in self-loathing for much of my adult life. It’s not a fun place to be.

There is nothing better than watching a friend succeed. Successful, independent, confident women motivate and inspire me. Thank you to each wildly imaginative, accepting, successful, caring and kind woman whom I have had the pleasure to meet. You make me a better person.

Tomorrow I will walk with my head held high back to school, and I may even try to find higher heels to walk in.  Who am I kidding, I would twist an ankle. My doctor once prescribed me high-tops for my weak ankles. Sadly, this is a true story. But a smile will still be on my face. 🙂

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Throwing out the F-Word: Fat

Published on by Christine12 Comments

Now that Christmas and New Years is behind me, I walked into my bathroom with the clear intention to step on the scale. I pulled that devil scale out its lair with dread, and tentatively stared at it for a bit telling myself that it really didn’t matter what number I saw, it was time to get back to work.

I stepped on it, and looked away. Well this is stupid, I have to see the number. And there it was, a number I hadn’t seen in years since I’ve reached my goal weight…160 pounds. I felt a little panicky, how did I manage to gain 10 pounds in just one Christmas season?

I walked downstairs to make a coffee, inwardly fighting the positive with the negative. I have a goal now, no big deal…but, I can’t fit my jeans! I need to get to work NOW. My daughter’s little voice interrupted my inward banter. She sat at the counter colouring a picture of a Disney princess and without missing a beat of colouring she asked. “What’s wrong Mom?” I replied flippantly  “I can’t fit my jeans, I ate too much chocolate over Christmas!”

Now, I’m going to share the next part of the story with hesitation, because I feel a lot of guilt over it. It’s that crippling Mom guilt and it’s replayed over and over in my mind ever since.

My sweet little girl looked up at me and with sadness in her eyes she said “When I was in Kindergarten, A girl told me I was fat. Do you exercise so you won’t get fat?”  I just stood there stunned. I didn’t realize that my own thoughts about my body image would be transferred to my daughter in that moment and that she equated exercising with the need to not be “fat”.

And that began our conversation about foods that give you energy and vitamins, staying active to be healthy and to have energy, and that she is most definitely perfect just as she is.  I told her that I too was told I was “fat” in school, and she giggled at me and said “but you’re not fat, you are thin!” Those words broke my heart, because if I can’t accept my body, how am I going to expect my daughter to accept hers?! We are going to throw out the word “fat” within our household, it’s officially the F-Word.

I share this story with you today, because I know that like me, there are many Moms out there who struggle with raising their children to have a healthy self-esteem.  I believe it’s THE hardest part of the Mom gig…both in raising sons and daughters. With healthy self-esteem, comes self-respect and healthy decisions. A strong self-esteem will aid in preventing my kids from making decisions where they put themselves at risk…because they will value themselves far too much to be dragged down. In some ways I’m thankful I didn’t have a lot of self-esteem growing up, because it’s now a huge priority in how I raise my children. I believe I understand those issues a little better given my past. But there is no way, I will accept that for my own children.

I need to find a healthy balance, because I also want to raise my children to take care of their bodies. To be active (which in their world means playing and running outside),  and to eat healthy foods. To equate all of that with taking care of their bodies, rather than relating it to aesthetics.

So these are my thoughts today, and I don’t have all the answers, but I am analyzing what I’ve done wrong, and the things I’ve done right. I am holding myself accountable, because like it or not, my kids are watching me. They are learning from me.

Active fun is on the menu for Winter. 🙂

To all you Moms out there: If we want to raise healthy, balanced children with self-respect…we better work on that within ourselves.  If you are reading this post riddled with Mom guilt, and you have insights on this topic (or if you share in my struggle), I would love to hear from you! Drop me a comment.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

One Year Later

Published on by Christine4 Comments

One year ago, I published this post: https://reclaiminglife.wordpress.com/2011/01/02/the-most-real-post-ive-ever-published/

What I didn’t know then, was that that post would be the wake up call I needed for change and authenticity to start a new year. I started 2011 with a weight on my shoulders that I immediately felt melt away after I dropped the mask I was wearing for much of the previous year. I felt free to be myself, there is no greater feeling than to just let it all go.

And now one year later, I look back on the past year with a smile and a grateful heart. Our family went through a lot in 2011, but we grew closer because of it. My love and respect for my Dad grew like I didn’t know possible.

With a new year, there is always that feeling of starting fresh. I want to take a moment before moving on to 2012 to revisit some of the things I learned in 2011.

~We are all struggling with some area in our lives to some degree…whether it’s personal or it’s professional…some just hide it a little better. Life has it’s share of failure and defeat. The important part is learning from it, and picking yourself up a little smarter and a little stronger.

~It makes a difference if you start your day off with gratitude.

~An act of kindness towards a stranger, a friend, or a family member can change the course of their day…and as an added bonus it will change the course of your day as well.

~There is beauty in the break down.

~Laughter cures a lot! So do exactly what it is that brings the laughter out. Laugh everyday. Every single day.

~Tell the people you love that you love them. Don’t wait. Tell them now and often.

~Be honest with your friendships, and cherish them. They are valuable. If you find there is a toxic friendship in your life, it’s OK to take a step back. Friendships aren’t supposed to be filled with guilt. If you are kind, loyal, and accepting…you deserve the same respect in return. Not every friendship has to be a close friendship, there are all levels of friendships in life, and they are all important to find balance.

~Enjoy the simple joys in life. A great meal out with someone you love, a phone call with a friend you miss, an afternoon with family, a night playing cards, an afternoon tobogganing with kids.  You will smile more. You will laugh more. Life is meant to be fun. If it’s not fun, make some fun.

Note: now that you’ve seen some cute kid’s tobogganing, may I draw your attention to how adults look when they toboggan….

Where was I…

~If you work from home, get ready in the morning just as if you were heading into work away from home. You will feel better. I spent one year working from home in my PJ’s. I think you could hear the dishevelled in my voice had you called me.

~Eat healthy, drink lots of water, go for a walk/a run/a bike ride. It’s unbelievable how much that improves your health and your over-all well-being. Your body was designed to work that way! Be good to yourself.

~If you hear a song you love and you feel like dancing. Then dance. It’s fun.

~Be exactly who you are, because you will attract like-minded friends. Life is just better when you surround yourself with a whole lot of love (and it’s lots of fun too).

~If you don’t like something about your life, guess what…you can change it. Or you can at least change how you react to the negative circumstances surrounding your life. A cup half-full is half-full.

~Balance is key: in all you do, strive for balance.

~You can’t change anyone else…you can only change yourself, continuing to evolve and grow as life does. Work on you. Don’t worry about anyone else.

“Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.”
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

~Life is FILLED with people who can teach you something. Listen. Resist the urge to talk…simply listen and your life will change as those lessons (they are gifts) from others sink in.

~We all have different belief systems. Respect other’s beliefs and values. They are as sacred to them as yours are to you.

~It’s rude to text when someone is talking to you. It just is. I’ve been guilty of this! I’ve realized when I’m on the other end of it that it’s just not polite, it sends a message that you are not important enough to look in the eye.  Drop the phone, make eye contact and engage in conversation. 🙂

~The things you fear most in life are the very challenges you should face. I’m not outgoing, and I have to force myself to meet new people and forget the fact I’m socially awkward. If I wouldn’t have taken the steps to meet new people, or if they wouldn’t have taken the steps…I would have missed out on some incredible friendships and experiences.  (Hope: I’m so glad that I forced myself to go to your workshops…the hours leading up to the workshop, my stomach was in knots because I didn’t believe in myself as a photographer…even though I was going to learn. I was so close to not going because of my own insecurities. And look what I would have missed out on!)

~Give your best to your guests.

~Say thank you.

That’s about all I can think of! I know I rambled! Thank you for reading my thoughts, and I am so thankful for each and every person that visits my blog and takes the time to comment.  May 2012 be filled with a ridiculous amount of love and laughter within your life!

From my heart to yours,

I welcome 2012 with open arms and a thankful heart

Christine

Continuing to Walk

Published on by Christine1 Comment

You know God has a way of bringing people and situations into my life exactly when I need it most. This has been a truth through out my life, and I’m thankful for that!  I’ve learned I just need to open my eyes, force myself out of my comfort zone, and listen…because these teachers of life are all around me.

It’s been awhile since I was back at the gym.  In fact, I haven’t been back since November 16th.  The reason I know the date is because on my last visit, I met a man who was learning to walk again and I wrote about the experience here: https://reclaiminglife.wordpress.com/2011/11/16/learning-to-walk-again/

I had just finished my run this morning…my first 5K in a month. I felt amazing after and proud that I forced my butt back to the gym even though I’ve had a discouraging few weeks. And then I saw him, that strong man who encouraged me on my last gym visit, making his way to the weight station.  I was so excited to see him, that I ran over and started talking without realizing that perhaps I didn’t make a memorable impression on him, as he had on me. Ha!  But he remembered me!

This Christmas season when life is hectic and at times stressful, I want to share with you the lesson he has taught me even further.  What I didn’t know in our last conversation was how he lost his leg. He shared with me his story of survival. He was hit by a semi truck while driving his motorbike on a busy highway.  After he was struck, he was drug by the tire of the semi and the semi driver didn’t even know he hit him until his bike rolled out of control ahead of the semi.

His injuries are not just confined to his leg: He broke his pelvis, and both of his arms were severely injured, particularly his left arm which has extensive muscle damage leaving him unable to lift it without assistance. He also sustained injuries to his face and mouth as the handlebars of his bike struck him in the face. He told me he didn’t realize he lost his leg until he looked down.

The insurance covered very little of the bills he needs to pay as a result of his accident and the doctors have told him that he is “too old” to fix the muscle damage in his arm…even though he isn’t 60 yet and has so much more life to live!

But through all of this story he ended it with: “I’m happy to be here, I have my full prosthetic leg now, and next summer I hope to get back on my bike. I have my wife, and my life. There isn’t much to complain about if I have that.”  Through out the time he told me his story, a smile never left his face and a light sparkled in his eyes.

He asked me to keep him in my prayers.  Can I ask you a favour?  If you pray, can you also please keep him in your prayers as well?

Enjoy the sweet joy of life this holidays season, and through out the New Year.   I’m thankful for this reminder once again that sometimes just when I feel discouraged, I only need to count my blessings. Life is good especially when you realize just how good it truly is!

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Lifting the Veil

Published on by Christine4 Comments

Through times of trial and darkness in life, there is much relief when I finally get through it and find the light. My perspectives change, my view on life changes and I’m filled with gratitude. Through that window of time when I realize that I’m blessed with renewed eyes, I’m filled with appreciation.

And then…

Routine happens.

Back to normal happens.

Half-hearted living happens.

…and that renewed sense of appreciation and gratitude fades away, until the next period of darkness envelopes life, and I wish for the light to come again, because I know that surely this time I won’t take the light for granted. And so it goes, the wheel of dark and light rolls on through life’s good and hard times.  Monotony and Gratitude switching out like the changing of the tides.

I had a moment of true gratitude this morning as I was walking my kids to school.  My daughter’s infectious giggle cut through the cold morning air as we talked and carefully made our way down the icy sidewalk, her tiny fingers intertwined with mine. My son ran a few steps ahead to assert his independence. Walking to school is routine for us, shown by the packed down and worn snowy path. It’s become so routine, that I’ve failed to notice moments of amazing that fire all around like tiny beauty synapses in time. And then it hit me. These are My kids, the kids I dreamed about having one day.  How often have I zoned out during their questions, and dismissed their stories as I was lost in the thought of all the things I need to accomplish in the day?

And the veil of monotony fell away, and I viewed our routine walk with fresh eyes filled with gratitude and appreciation. Peace washed over me and I gripped my daughter’s hand a little tighter and whispered in her ear “Tell me more”. What have I missed out on everyday when I was blinded by routine?

Miracles are all around us my friends, but sometimes they come to us through ordinary life. They happen so seamlessly and delicately that we are unaware of their presence and fail to see them. But miracles live here…if we would only lift the veil and open our eyes.

You see, kids see miracles all the time. They are fascinated with the art of living life with all of their heart and soul. They pour their positive energy into the miracle of life. And they laugh often. The type of laughter that starts at the bottom of their soul and pours out like rays of sunshine that know no boundaries.

I pray that the veil stays lifted, and I see life as it is meant to be seen. And lived. With whole-hearted gratitude and happiness. So today, I will not look around my house and see all the things I need to do, or change but rather I will appreciate this warm home that is filled with love and laughter.

My riches consist not in the extent of my possessions, but in the fewness of my wants.  ~J. Brotherton

That little moment of gratitude grew and built up strength…seeping into other thoughts: I will look in the mirror and accept my body…flaws and all, rather than wishing I could change it. I will be thankful for the friendships that I am blessed with. I will give more than I take. I will show kindness to strangers. I will accept those that I do not understand.

…and I will feel the appreciation for my children, to the very depths of my heart; just as I did on the day they were born when I finally held them in my arms after months of dreaming for that moment to come.

I hope your day is full of miracles as well.

From my thankful heart to yours,

Christine

Learning to Walk Again

Published on by Christine8 Comments

Yesterday I drug myself (inwardly kicking and screaming) to the gym for a run around the running track.  It was more for my mood than anything. The snow and cold settles in, and I fight the winter blues.

The first kilometre was a battle inwardly to get my bad attitude in check. Suck it up princess. By the second KM I found my pace, and the stress started to melt away. It was on the third KM when I noticed a man walking ahead of me in an unsteady but fiercely determined sort of way.  Directly in front of him, a woman walked backwards in support holding two canes, should he need them. His expression was full of grit and will with each step he took. Every time I passed him, my respect and awe for his fierce spirit grew.

By the fourth KM, the pain of an old running injury gripped my knee. I pushed on to finish the 5K, but I was discouraged. It took months previously for this injury to heal enough to run consistently and I wasn’t excited to go home and ice my knee.  Running is really the only cardio I enjoy. The thought of having to use an elliptical or a spin bike fills me with dread. It’s a little over dramatic, yes, but running is like therapy I swear. The time just flies by.

After I finished my run, I stood to the side of the running track catching my breath and wiping the sweat off my forehead. I noticed the man whom I had yet to speak to, but already respected, sitting on the bench with the supportive woman. He had kind eyes and a contagious smile.

He asked me how to read the chart behind him which detailed each lane’s distance, so he could figure out how far he had walked. It was only then as we were talking that I noticed he had a prosthetic leg.  He explained to me that he was taking his new leg out for a spin, as he hadn’t had it for very long.  With enough enthusiasm to light up a room, he told me he was enjoying the freedom of being able to walk again now that he is no longer confined to a wheel chair.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. Here I was running with annoyance worrying about a silly knee injury when at the very same time, this amazing man walked the same track filled with gratitude for the gift of being able to walk again.  I felt small, petty and ridiculous.

He interrupted my thoughts with a story about a girl he met as he was going through rehabilitation. She was my age and she had also lost a limb. She was filled with rage and anger over her loss, and her enraged attitude, however valid it was, negatively affected her rehabilitation. She was so focussed on her anger and the one thing that she absolutely could not change, that she lost all focus on her recovery.  He told me how bad he felt for her that she couldn’t embrace her new reality.

We talked a little more about life, and we said our good-byes. I made my way downstairs to do some weights, and I assumed he was done his exercise for the day. I can’t imagine how much energy would be required to learn to walk again. But out of the corner of my eye, there he was doing weights to build up his strength. Every station he went to, the supportive woman followed and they talked and laughed as he worked.

As I left the gym, he was still doing weights. I sat in my car in the parking lot and took a moment to soak in the lesson he had just taught me. We are blessed my friends. Every time I think there’s no time to stay active and take care of my body, I will remember him and his fierce determination. He considered the ability to walk as a gift and it just shouldn’t be taken for granted.

I hope I see you again strong, determined, full-of-the-zest-for-life man with the contagious smile. I was so wrapped up in your amazing story that I forgot to ask your name. Thank you for sharing. I will never forget you.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Thinking for 30:55

Published on by Christine4 Comments

Sometimes I lose the motivation to continue, to push myself, to regain control.  And then I realize, all I have to do is lace up my runners and get active, and just like that the motivation comes back. The hardest action to do in this scenario is the lacing up of my running shoes. 😉

I did just that today, I went to the gym for a run…even though I didn’t want to. Running is a time that is just for me. It’s a release to clear my head and to think. During my run today, I thought through a lot!

“If you hear a voice within you say I can’t run, then by all means run, and that voice will be silenced.”
(I googled the source of this quote, and it appears this is a take on a quote by Vincent Van Gogh)

I started my run replaying the above quote over and over in my mind. If there’s one thing I’ve learned through running, it’s that my mind is my biggest hurdle to reaching my goals. If you believe with all of your being that you can reach a goal, you will work through the pain to reach it.

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” Lance Armstrong

If it wasn’t for replaying Lance Armstrong’s quote in my mind while I ran, I may have given up on my goal to finish 5K under 31 minutes. By the 4K mark I realized that I wasn’t going to make it if I didn’t pick up the pace…and it hurt. There was a span of 30 seconds where I just kept thinking “This hurts”, and then I realized I needed to replace it with “So what?! It will only hurt for a bit. Suck it up, what’s a little pain?!” I knew the pain of disappointment would have been far greater, so I picked up the pace and finished with a time of 30:55. For me, that’s a good time. It’s not about how fast others can run, it’s about reaching MY best and then improving upon it.

You can’t compare yourself to another, we are all different. For today, simply do your best, and then tomorrow go a little further, go a little longer. There are no limits to your success…now that’s exciting!

Part two in the quest for motivation comes in setting purposeful goals. Another thing I’ve learned is that for me, it’s harmful to set a goal of losing a certain amount of weight or fitting into a certain size (even at the begging of this journey).  It’s a focus on the external, and that’s not what I’m after.  I want to be stronger/build endurance and to obtain that goal, I need to put the work in. The most FANTASTIC part about that goal is that I see results with every workout, which means I feel successful every single time I put in the extra effort.

Beauty, confidence, and strength comes in every shape and size. As women, we are surrounded by outside influences. Magazine ads, TV commercials, the latest lose-weight-quick program…all in the quest to be a certain size, and to fit into a certain mould. It’s not realistic, nor is it at all original.

What’s interesting about everyone looking the same? Different is beautiful. It’s easy to give up on a goal when you are striving for something that just isn’t attainable because it’s not sustainable for YOU. Because guess what, when you get there, you have to keep it up to stay there. For me that’s just not realistic. I will never be a size 2-4, nor do I want to be. That’s just not realistic for me. God gave me curves, and I’m going to embrace them thank you very much. I’ve been a size 22, a size 8, and all the sizes in between.  I’ve settled where I’m at based on the work I put in and the food choices I make. I’ve found great freedom in the control within that equation.

Thank you for reading through all the thoughts that were swirling around in my head for 30:55. 🙂  I hope your day was ridiculously amazing!

Oh and for those of you who know I have the tendency to get lost in thought and attempt to get into the wrong vehicle in a parking lot…I did it again today. In my defence, this time it was the same make of vehicle and not the blue minivan I tried to get into last time I was lost in thought. Lucky for me, there wasn’t a family in the car (as there was in the blue minivan….oopsie daisey)

I will leave you with a favourite running song (the kind of song that makes you run faster when you want to quit):

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Life is Good, Not Perfect

Published on by Christine13 Comments

We live in an online era where friend’s and family’s lives are visual.  Where we once met other disheveled, sleep-deprived, and frazzled Moms in school hallways, we now focus on bright shiny pictures of kid’s first days of school: perfect hair, perfect clothing, and the beautiful Mom smiling proudly beside them.

There is nothing wrong with that, I love looking at my friend’s and family’s photos they post online. I feel connected to them when life gets busy or when miles keep us apart.  The trap lies within the perfect, because really…who’s life is perfect?

I’ve fallen into the trap of envying another’s seemingly flawless life who appears to be full of fun and adventure.  It’s not the type of envy where I wish I was them, but rather I wish I had life figured out a little more!  I struggle with keeping up with my kid’s homework, sports, housework, the mountain of laundry that grows daily, photography, bake sales, picture day, and at times I forget to brush my own hair…and then I get a glimpse of another’s “perfect” life and I wonder why I can’t get it all together.  What am I doing wrong!?

That has me wondering if I portray my life to be full of roses and lollipops…I assure you the roses are often neglected and the lollipops may have hit the crumb filled floor, but it’s OK…the 5 second rule dictates it’s still edible.

I do know that I’m far too awkward to hold onto a perfect-life illusion for any amount of time. The other day I parked my bike in the school parking lot and it tipped over in the wind. I had my mail stuffed into my bike basket and I had to run around catching it while it flew in the wind. This magical moment happened as the school bell rang so I was lucky to have an audience of many adults and kids. I would have aborted the mission after a few long minutes, but the mail had my name and address on it. Why must I be so awkward?

Anywhoooo, I’m focussing on gratitude these days, which means when I say “Life is Good”, it’s usually in the midst of dealing with something difficult and well…not so good. I’m trying to appreciate the beauty that lives within everyday life despite the trials and the heart-ache that goes along with it.  We wouldn’t appreciate the good without the bad.

So let me be real here.

Take for instance this photo:

I went for a bike ride that cold day in April because I was incredibly down, life’s “it’s not fair” moments had piled up. I was angry at God because my Dad has Cancer. Minutes before I took the shadow photos, I sat on a park bench and told myself not to cry. Despite my will to keep it bottled up, I cried anyway. I took this photo because photography makes me feel better, as does exercise. It’s an emotional release that is in my control, when life is out of control.

Or how about this photo:

This was the first day of school this past September. My oldest son almost missed the bus so I could take the 1st day photo which “I HAD TO HAVE” (I actually yelled that from behind my camera).  You obviously can’t see me in this photo, but if you could, you would have averted your eyes. I was sporting mis-matched ugly PJ’s, wild tatty hair, and my mascara had made a run for it.

And lastly this photo:

This was my last day of 34. I felt anxious that day because I hadn’t accomplished what I wanted to in 34 years. I chose that necklace, because it was a gift from a dear friend and it means a lot (thank you Tawn). I got over it and embraced 35 by the next day. But on this day, I was quite insecure which I covered with a smile.  🙂

So this post is for any woman who has looked at another with envy and thought to herself “why can’t I be as put together as she is.” or “why can’t I be as confident as her?”  Chances are, she isn’t as confident or put together as she seems.

And this post is for any Mother who wishes she could be better based on the outside view of another Mom.  I’m willing to bet, she too wishes she could be a better Mom and may even look the same way at you. There is no handbook for parenting, you just do your best from one day to the next.

I try to remember this when I see a horrified Mom standing in a grocery store line while her screaming kids flail around because they want candy.  It’s in my nature to look away so I don’t embarrass her, but if it was me…I would love another Mom to say “I’ve been there. I can relate.”  There is support and kindness within empathy.

Yes life is good, but it sure isn’t perfect.  Please remember that if you ever feel less than.  We are all perfectly imperfect.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Creating your own Peace

Published on by Christine1 Comment

I’ve been busy with all things photography lately, and although at times it’s overwhelming given all of Life’s other daily tasks, I love busy. For me, with Autumn also comes purpose.

Autumn is my favourite time of year. There is something so magical when the leaves turn and the fields come alive with the harvest. Golden sun-kissed fields fill with rolling trails of dust that hang in twilight skies with each round of the combine.

As a kid, I loved visiting my Dad as he worked in the field. My Mom used to pack a big picnic blanket along with a home-cooked meal so we could all eat together along the field’s edge. My sisters and I would stand at the end of the swath and jump up and down to get his attention.  I remember sitting on that picnic blanket and looking up at Dad who sat on an end gate, precariously balancing a warm meal on his lap while sipping steaming hot coffee from a thermos. If I close my eyes and think back to those childhood memories, the vision of warm golden sunsets over wheat fields fills me with peace. Even today, all I have to do to get that warm fuzzy feeling from home is to turn off pavement and find a gravel road to drive down.

A detour down a gravel road, with the windows down and  Sting’s “Fields of Gold” playing in the background does wonders for my Autumn havest homesickness.

I was shooting a family session the other day at their beautiful acreage. She thanked me for travelling out to their country home, and I had the feeling she believed it was an inconvenience. In all truthfulness, I couldn’t wait for the harvest drive, I loved every scenic minute of it. On the way home I passed by this landscape…

Usually when I’m in the middle of a busy shooting season, I have no desire to take personal photos; however, I’ve focused on moments lately. Moments like these pass us by all the time. It’s up to us to see them.  I knew I had to turn around and take those photos. That whole scene which I appreciated so much at that moment would have been lost to me.

We are often in the business of waiting. We spend much of our lives waiting in lines, at doctor’s offices, the bank, and the grocery store. We wait for the next stage in our lives, and when we make it there, we miss the stage that just passed us by.

There is life within the waiting.

There is life within the chaos.

There is peace in this busy life at this very moment.

I am so grateful to realize that these moments in life that bring peace are all around if I would simply take notice. Not only take notice, but create and re-created them.

The other day I went for a run along trails of green, gold, and amber; the sounds of leaves crunching under my feet as geese flew overhead leaving the promise of winter behind. I knew I loved running in the Fall, but I haven’t made the time for it lately. I wouldn’t have enjoyed the overwhelming feeling of peace that an Autumn run brought me had I not created it.

 It isn’t enough to talk about peace, one must believe it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it, one must work for it.
 – Eleanor Roosevelt

What can you do today to create your own moments of peace?

Peace is just a moment away.  Why wait for peace to come to you when you can create it?

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Waking our Inner Child

Published on by Christine3 Comments

As a family photographer, I’ve noticed an amazing quality in all children I photograph.

Children think they are awesome as is. I often say to kids during a photography session: “You are amazing” and their reply is almost always the same…”I know”.

As adults, we are often confuse confidence for vanity, but I’ve thought about beauty in a different way lately.  When you say to a child: You are beautiful or you are amazing, children interpret that very differently than we adults do.  Kids love who they are as a whole, rather than relating that comment to aesthetics.  It’s the spirit of the child that shines through. The unbridled ability to play, sing, accept others, run, dress, just as they wish. To Just Be. Children are active because they want to be!

And then somewhere along the way…we lose that ability. We are affected by outside influences that tell us what to wear, what music to like, what size we should be, etc.

Much of this is cultural, based on where we grew up.  We are fortunate to live in a country where freedom of speech and religion is a right, but our children don’t know any different, and we can take this amazing gift for granted. We are free to dream.

When we were children, we loved our body for its ability. Arms to play, hands to hold and colour with, a face that carries expression, hair to blow in the breeze on a windy day or to add 17 pony-tails to on crazy hair day at school, feet to cover with sand, and legs to run through water on a hot summer day.

And then we get older and “wiser”.  Speaking from personal struggles, there have been times in my life when I wanted to be thinner, stronger, richer, and more confident. I’ve analyzed the times in my life when I was the most confident and I’ve realized that confidence comes from self-acceptance.  Just Be. Weed out the outside influences.

Find your inner voice, your own unique sense of style, form your own opinions.  My daughter will often come to me and ask if I like the outfit she chose for the day, and I reply “Do you?” because that’s all that matters.

So maybe, just maybe, we could learn a thing or two about self-acceptance through the eyes of a child…

The child who looks at their Mom and tells her she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, even when she first wakes up in the morning sporting sticky-uppy hair and well-worn PJs.

The child who can befriend another in an instance and who accepts an invitation to play if only for a few minutes.

The child who loves who they are as is, appreciates their body for all it can do, greets each day with wonder and gratitude, and is eager to learn and grow.

The child who thinks they are just plain awesome, and who accepts others in the same way.

Let’s wake up that inner-child my friends. Self-acceptance is already within us.

Life is amazing and so are you. Have I told you that lately?!

From my heart to yours,

Christine