Family – Page 7 – Reclaiming LIFE

The One Book You Need to Read ~ “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod

Published on May 16, 2016 by ChristineLeave a comment

Three months ago, I started my Personal Training/Motivational Coach position at Your Body Your Weigh Fitness. There aren’t words quite adequate to describe how much I love my career and working with all the amazing, strong, dedicated clients there. It’s my job (I need a new word, because “job” isn’t right…I love this area) to motivate and inspire them to push themselves to their full potential; but honestly…they do the same for me. It’s been a true gift to my soul.

At my 3 month meeting with my boss Karla, she asked me what my personal and professional goals are. Huh, I’ve been so focussed on everyone else’s goals that I hadn’t put a lot of thought into my own! She challenged me to put tangible timelines/action onto my goals. One of my goals is to commit to lifelong learning. But what does that mean really…how often will I commit to that? I decided daily.

A few days later she gave me a book to read “The Morning Miracle ~ The not-so obvious secret guaranteed to transform your life before 8 AM” by Hal Elrod. If you haven’t read this book, please stop what you are doing right now and download it or go buy it. I highly recommend it, thank you Karla! It’s a quick powerful read that will transform your life if you put the practices to action.

The book challenges you to be the best version of yourself in all facets of life (physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual) by working on your own personal development each and every morning. I have always committed to life-long learning; however, I never framed it within my mind that I actually settle for mediocrity daily. Could I be doing more? Of course, and why am I complacent within average? Oh no my dear…I am not average or mediocre. And you aren’t either.

One thing I’m blessed with daily is time, if I just make it. Yes life is busy, but that’s no excuse…I have the ability to get up a little earlier. Aaaand, I can also convince myself that I want to get up an hour earlier because I’m driven to do so by my purpose. That’s the key right there my friends, to figure out your purpose in life and use that emotional response within your purpose to drive you to action.

So I woke up an hour earlier the last two days excited to get started on action which I know will be life changing for me.

Yesterday I went for a run in the sun and discovered more peace, energy & clarity than I have in many months. I cleared my mind of anything negative that was rooted in my past, and focussed on not only the right now, but the future. I took a different route than usual and as I rounded the corner, this fitting landmark came into view.

You see, we all have these big goals and dreams for our life. A visual idea within the mind of what our ideal life looks like. Great! But are we truly working daily on our dreams? A dream is just a dream without action. Are we maximizing our full potential to be the best version of ourselves?

One of the quotes I read within the book really resonated with me in a different way. Now…I’ve read this quote before, but today I understand it on a deeper level.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson

I encourage you today to put time into thinking about Your Purpose in life. Who are you? Who do you want to be? Are you settling for daily mediocrity…one foot in front of the other. If so, why? We have one life! What is that one (or more) thing(s) that gets you out of bed in the morning with passion and direction? When you are driven by purpose, there’s no stopping you.

Have a great purpose-inspiring day, and read this book so we can talk about it. 🙂

From my heart to yours,

Christine

What are You Training Today? The Soul my dear.

Published on January 12, 2016 by Christine4 Comments

Lately I’ve been going to the gym 6 days a week for an hour at a time. It’s more than I usually go, and during this time I’ve been asked what my fitness goals are. Another regular question I’ve been asked and I often ask others is “What are you training today?” Back? Leg day? Shoulders? etc.

I’ve thought about this a lot lately, and what I reply in my mind is this:

I’m here for my mind, for my heart, for my soul.

It’s here where I push my body to my limits, that I realize the strength of my spirit.

This hour gives me time to refuel and wipe out any negativity that clouds my mind.

I’m inspired by those around me struggling through physical adversity. Like the gentlemen who is recovering from a stroke. He never misses a day and walks the track with determination and such strength.

I’m uplifted by the positivity that lives within those walls, like the couple who walk the track holding hands the entire way while talking and laughing.

I go to uplift others with positivity. A kind word, a smile, a sincere compliment. Even through my darkest days, I will smile and uplift those around me. I’ve learned it fuels my heart just as much as it fuels others. Positive energy is infectious.

I go for I know that within minutes into my workout, any anxious energy melds way into determination. The power of exercise!

There’s no other hour in my day where I feel as positive, uplifted, confident and self-assured. I leave my workouts with those feelings, and it seeps its way into other minutes of my day. Growing and evolving just as I do.

So yes, today maybe shoulder-day by physical definition, but what I’m really doing is taking gentle care of myself…body, mind, and most importantly soul & spirit. So that I am the best Mom I can be for my kids, a better friend to my friends, and to learn just how strong I am within.

Take away the aesthetics of the gym, and you are left with the heart of training…the real reason so many require that hour like air in their lungs. I am so thankful I learned this lesson. It’s been a gift during the hardest of days and a blessing on my shiny days too.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

A Note of Encouragement

Published on July 15, 2015July 15, 2015 by Christine2 Comments

Recently, my friend Paula tagged me on Facebook to a post on a page called “The Weigh We Were“, created by Kat Carney, who shared my story. Thank you Kat! I was very touched reading everyone’s comments; others just like me who are in various stages of their own journey to reclaim their life.

If you stumbled across my blog and are new here, welcome!

This is me…then. and now.

It was on my heart this morning to write a post to those who are just starting out on their own health journey, or maybe you are struggling within it. I clearly remember the confusion and frustration that surrounded the first few months into this lifestyle. What should I eat, how much should I exercise, is this even working, why does the scale hate me?

As cliché as this sounds, there is no truer statement: If I can do it, anyone can.

A little over a decade ago, when I made the decision to tackle my health issues, I was as sedentary as I could possibly be. I would have picked things up with one of those little robot arms if I had one. I would scooter places if I in fact owned a scooter. I would have jumped on the back of anyone climbing stairs if it was socially acceptable. You see..I don’t know how I got there, I somehow lost myself within raising kids, working, and juggling responsibilities as my hubby worked away for weeks at a time. I buried it all within food, never in front of anyone. I shut people out. I was in my own self-created world of self-loathing. I lived within a frame that I didn’t feel was my own. I felt trapped and alone. I didn’t see then that I had a “get out of jail free” card right at my finger tips. I didn’t know the strength of my spirit.

I can remember every single feeling from that old life, and that’s why I’m so passionate about uplifting, encouraging, and motivating others who just might relate. So if you can relate, here are a few words of encouragement from my heart to yours…

~You can absolutely do this! If your goal is a big one, please don’t get discouraged. Break it up into small manageable goals and give yourself permission to feel pride. True pride that you earned. Small step or not, it’s a step forward. Any step forward is a positive one.

~Positive Out, Positive In. When you put out the positive it just can’t help but come back to you. Rather than looking for positive, it’s completely within your control to create it. Just be. And then watch how positivity comes flooding back multiplied. It’s crazy how that works, but it does.

~No more making excuses for destructive behaviour. This was a big one for me. I always had an excuse why it wasn’t the right time or I would blame others for my choices. I’m too busy. My kids need me. I have no energy. Others bring junk food into my house. And on and on the wheel of excuses rolled. When I made no room for excuses, I had no other choice but to just do it. Get off the couch and move. Stop eating my issues way. Because the truth was, and continues to be, my kids need me to be healthy. They need me to have energy (which I now realize I created the no-energy state I used to live in). And most importantly they need me to be a role model. The idea that my kids would one day grow up and not truly experience the beauty of life within love, energy, and vibrance is a devastating thought. Why was I settling for that as my reality? What was I scared of?

~Change the way you view your goals. It’s importantly to have tangible and attainable goals, but what exactly are they? If it’s a certain size or number on the scale, that leaves you vulnerable to failure. What if you changed your goals to healthy/fitness goals? Even if your end goal is a number on the scale, if you incorporate health and fitness goals as well and put significance on them, you are setting yourself up for success. These goals might be: run for 1 minute straight…which turns into 2 minutes, to 5 minutes, to 10 minutes, etc. Or I will drink 8 glasses of water daily. Or I will walk 12,000 steps daily. Or I will eat 5-7 servings of veggies daily. Or I will cut out pop and creamer in my coffee…pick your healthy goal. You can literally be successful several times a day, and before you know it these goals just become a way of life. A lifestyle that feeds your energy and spirit and you can’t handle the thought of going back to your old lifestyle. It’s simply not an option.

Real change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing ~ Tony Robbins

~You are enough. You are worthy. You are beautiful, vibrant, intelligent. Start looking at yourself through the eyes of those you love most. Start talking to yourself just as you talk to your kids, your partner, your friends and family. Negative self-talk can crush the spirit. Anytime a negative thought pops into your head, replace it with positivity. Remember you are in control of this aspect. Take back that power. You want a different lifestyle…then go after it. No waiting. No excuses. Create the life you desire.

Have a great day! Drop me a line if you need support or have questions.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

The Face of MS

Published on March 25, 2015March 25, 2015 by Christine18 Comments

I anxiously walked towards the sound of my family’s conversation filtering from my sister Janny’s hospital room. Each step I took revealed another family member from around the corner, all surrounding Janny’s bed. In our family, we never set a time to meet. We just instinctually know and manage to congregate at the same time…one large circle of supportive chaotic love. If one sister is missing, she is there in spirit through texts or phone calls of concern and solidarity.

Janny’s eyes met mine, and our smiles reached right to our eyes. She opened her arms wide for a hug and I drank in her affection with a strong hug hoping to transfer all my support and love within it.

She was admitted to the U of A Hospital after suffering another bad MS attack. Even though she’s been living with MS for 20 years, we as a family haven’t quite become accustomed to the devastating effects MS takes on our Janny each time an attack of this magnitude hits. Yet we have. It’s all so difficult to articulate and sort through in thought. This is why I seek clarity and solace within writing.

MS has proven to be a slow and methodical disease as it chips away at my sister’s ability to live the way she wants to, the way she deserves to. The devastation comes and goes in waves, each time taking a little more of her capabilities, awareness, and spirit before settling into a steadfast state. And then out of nowhere, one big attack knocking her down and leaving her vulnerable, confused, disoriented, limited. MS is a disease that is a different beast for each person it afflicts. It is unpredictable and relentless.

As I watched my sister staring at the clock while we visited, I was taken back to a memory from years ago when I hosted thanksgiving (or perhaps it was Easter) which was the last time I recall her having a bad attack. I ran around my kitchen as I hurriedly prepared for company at our new-to-us acreage. I was excited when I looked out my window to see them pull into the yard. My excitement washed away into a sad revelation as I watched her needing the aid of a walker for the first time. Tears streamed down my face as I watched my brother-in-law take the walker out of the back of the vehicle and get it ready for her. She wore an intense, determined expression as she walked to my house. The tears flowed not because I felt sorry for her but rather because I admired her tenacity and strong will. She amazed me and humbled me. I was proud of the Grace she displayed as she coped with all the horrible changes happening as her body betrayed her heart.

The other night as we huddled around her bed making small talk, and her devoted hubby gently swept a stray hair away from her eyes…I remembered her. I remembered who she was and who she is, because both are important.

How often have I walked by a soul whose body has forsaken them without being aware that they are an evolved soul through their disease? At one time, they must have expected good health like a sunrise…just as I do. Who were they before and who are they now? Both beautiful souls deserve respect, understanding and compassion.

How often have I so selfishly picked apart the areas of my body that I want to change without feeling deep appreciation that these legs of mine work? Forget the egocentric vanity of the aesthetics and embrace the beautifully complicated functionality of the healthy human body with sincere gratitude. I can run, jump, walk wherever and when I choose.

It’s all so hard to articulate now within my longing for my sister to have her health. My track-star sister. I mourn for the vitality she has lost to this disease. There’s a part of me that is also thankful that the deep seeded anger she so justifiably felt years ago gave way to a loss of awareness within her mind as MS attacked vital parts of the brain which comprehends those types of things. I feel guilty even typing that. I want you to understand how much of a blessing it was and is to finally see her smile and laugh again even though she had every reason to wake up daily with anger ranging within her soul.

So these past few weeks as she’s recovering I have spent time remembering her then and admiring her now. I love her like I love my own children.

I remembered my sister’s zest for life…the way she used to pace the kitchen while she talked because she couldn’t sit still for a second. She would walk or run places rather than drive.

The way she used to look you straight in the eye when she talked or listened as you talked, 100% genuinely present with the desire to know you better.

The handwritten notes she mailed me (and many others) full of hopes she dreamed for me, for her family, for others. She prayed for me at a time I had no direction and was struggling.

This is Janny’s heart encapsulated within a letter, written in 1992 before her diagnosis. She poured her heart into this letter, asked forgiveness when she didn’t need to. I was an immature teenager, and she always challenged me within my bad behaviour to be the best I could be. That’s what you do when you love someone, you advise with love in order for the other to grow and evolve. There are no words adequate enough to express my gratitude for the impact she had and continues to have on my life.

She prayed for strangers. She organized meals for those in need. She loved so intensely.

The way she held her boys hands as they walked and ran after them as they played. She was very active in their lives, volunteering at their schools any chance she got. She was and is proud of them. She was and is a devoted wife. Side by side they have shared all of life’s adversity. I have a memory from when I was a little girl of the two of them giggling together during one of their visits. Janny buried her head into his shoulder and whispered something and the two of them just broke out into laughter that was so light-hearted and free yet intimate…I felt odd invading their moment. I have no idea why this memory is so vivid, I couldn’t have been more than 8-10 years old at the time.

The way she worshipped in church, arms outstretched, eyes closed singing with all her might. She worshipped God with all of her heart. She served those in need as well, organizing meals for the sick. She took the time to reach out in a personal way to those she came in contact with.

I remembered her stubborn streak, the one that made her family have to hide the car keys when she was first told she couldn’t drive. She was fiercely independent and losing her license was very hard for her to cope with. I recall many times looking out my kitchen window and watching her drive up at mock-chicken, and defiantly getting out of her van walking through a cloud of dust. I would open the door with a disapproving look and she would tell me to shush up and make her a coffee.

She loved people. She still loves people. She loves being in the middle of the most animated of conversations. She’ll put her two bits in here and there and look down her nose over the top of her glasses when she doesn’t approve. She loves talking hockey and is a huge Oiler’s fan no matter if they make the playoffs or not. 😉 She puts all of her being into each gregarious laugh, and she laughs often (usually followed by a tap of the back of her hand to your shoulder). Her face lights up when she greets each family member. Whenever I visit, she always yells across the room “Chris! Come over here and give me a hug!” and she sure does pour her heart into those hugs. She takes the time to talk to each of my kids and asks how they are doing. She is all about family, always has been and always will be.

Jan, Beenie and Chrissy — Me, Janny, and Brenda (3 of the 6 sisters) March 22, 2015

This is the face of MS the way I’ve experienced it within our family love story. The complexity of the mourning for all that is lost and the gratitude for all that still remains. The ever-changing and evolving face as MS continues to invade. You would be hard pressed to find a family that doesn’t understand the face of a different type of disease, but this one is ours to watch, feel, experience with sadness and I pray there’s a cure someday soon. For my sister and for anyone who’s been touched by MS. Hope is what we crave.

I encourage you to reach out to those you love and express your gratitude for their impact within your life.

In the words of my sister “Remember, don’t keep anything bottled up inside of you”.

I wish for you health, happiness, and a humble heart as you grow in life. And most importantly, I wish for you awareness of your blessings and a united family standing tall and proud within LOVE as you tackle adversity.

I love you Janny.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

On Fear, Dreaming, and Balance

Published on November 26, 2014 by Christine4 Comments

My last post was May, can that be true?! It’s been a busy 6 months. I haven’t fallen off the healthy wagon; I’ve written so many posts in my head that it was a little overwhelming so I wrote nothing.

Over the spring and summer I worked towards my Personal Training Specialist certification through CanfitPro. I’m happy to say I’m now certified! I wanted to pursue certification for many years and it feels great to finally take action rather than thinking on a dream. I plan to mix some pretty powerful motivators through training: the positive mind and Photography. I’m so excited, can’t wait!

This May 2015 marks 10 years at my healthy weight. I used to call it my goal weight, but through these past 10 years I have learned it’s just a number. Healthy is my goal, not specific digits on a scale. I love learning new things about fitness and I’m a foodie at heart. Through the years I’ve noticed many trends come and go when it comes to the diet/fitness industry. Low fat, low carb, paleo, cleanses, high protein. Intense cardio, step, aerobics, heavy lifting, high-reps/low weight, spinning, TRX, crossfit, barre. None of which are necessarily a bad thing; however, I see an issue for me personally when the fad is introduced as the newest greatest solution to all my eating/fitness issues. Obsession takes over and that’s never been a healthy element for me.

But what about balance?

My quest for balance, happiness and health has always encompassed more than just a diet/fitness plan. It’s easy to get caught up in the diet/fitness industry’s promise of happiness within a meal plan or a workout. I can promise you from my experience, you can lose 100 pounds and still feel unfulfilled and deal with low self-esteem.

I learned the strength of my inner spirit is just as important as the health of my body. I had to heal from within. I had to learn to recognize my weaknesses and celebrate my strengths. Cardio/lifting sessions were (and continue to be) a time of self-reflection and an opportunity to challenge tired beliefs I have about my strength and ability. I had to identify the areas where I had an unhealthy relationship with certain foods and then replace those with healthy satisfying options. It has never been about restriction, but rather stability and control over an area I felt wildly out of control within.

I had to practice compassion, forgiveness, letting go, and perseverance for myself, but more importantly for others…until it became part of who I am as a person. We all struggle. We all have our insecurities. We all deserve forgiveness and love. I will always look for the good within others and foster that within authentic relationships. The other day I realized that it’s because I spent so many years in the dark that I appreciate this brilliant light of clarity and focus.

I’m so thankful for the years I spent…

~wandering through confusion because I learned to trust myself as a result.

~dreaming of a different body because I transformed a dream that was focussed on an aesthetic into lifelong action towards a healthy mind/body/spirit.

~unhappy because I learned a big part of happiness within life is simply a choice.

~trapped in jealousy and envy because I learned those gross emotions will fade away when you become confident within yourself.

~selfishly focussing on inner turmoil that clouded my life for it taught me to be more selfless and to move on.

When I started this journey I foolishly believed it was about fitting my ever-expanding body into a pair of skinny jeans. I had no idea I would learn to love others more because I found peace, forgiveness, and love within myself.

It’s all about balance. If you are struggling in this area, dig deeper. Figure out your weaknesses and strengths. Don’t lie to yourself. Focus on your inner strength, push away the doubt for that doubtful voice is just fear. Forgive yourself for your mistakes because you have learned so much from those. Adversity makes us stronger. You are human and we are all fantastically flawed. Let go of your past. You have a future full of promise if you just view it that way. Never give up on your goals, you are stronger than you even realize.

Life is a series of seasons, ever changing and evolving. Don’t fear change keep on growing and learning from both your mistakes and your successes. Turn those dreams into actions. I hope all this for you and more.

I’ll leave you with a little video of inspiration for your day…

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Why I clicked “Unfollow” on fitness accounts while eating chocolate

Published on May 15, 2014 by Christine3 Comments

I often have to check myself on my thoughts about my body. When I think about where I’ve come from: an unhealthy and sad version of the woman I am today, I am proud. I realize that the feeling of pride comes from focussing on the state of my emotions, physical health, and confidence level when I was obese, and not the aesthetic aspect of what 242 “looked” like.

Many of us women tend to focus on what we look like rather than how we feel. When the focus is put on physical labels, those labels transfer to feelings. Animated almost cartoon-like terms are put on the areas we want to change: muffin Top, thunder thighs, chunky monkey, jelly belly, spare tire. And we obsess about those areas and compare our bodies to other women. It becomes a competition. We have a self-deprecating remark on reserve for a compliment thrown our way. One day I will love my arms, my legs, my stomach if I just keep up the cardio, weights, and eat loads of salad (insert method)…oh yes, one day I will be happy with my body.

One day.

How about today? Can we love our bodies and all the things we can physically do today?

I also realized I felt the most alive in those first few weeks of my journey when I found a love for being active, fuelled my body with foods packed with nutrients and vitamins, and finally took care of myself with respect and love. That feeling of euphoria had nothing to do with what I weighed, or what size of clothing I wore. For the first time in my adult life, I found pride within my progress. Progress, not perfection.

And so today, I have to remind myself this lifelong journey to feel alive and vibrant comes from taking care of myself the way the human body was meant to be cared for. With heart healthy activity, vibrant coloured natural foods full of nutrients, and feeding the soul with positivity and love. I can change the way I view my body just by adjusting those factors and focussing on health vs. appearance.

Having lost 90+ pounds, I will always have bigger thighs than if I was never obese. That’s a fact. Having extra skin or fat on my thigh area does not attribute to being unhealthy. These legs travel me wherever I want to go. To not appreciate the gift of health is disrespectful; especially to those who have limited or no mobility.

There is a shame feeling when I type “I love my body as is”. Why? Body shaming is so prevalent in our society that the norm is self-deprecation. There wouldn’t be a market for “get thin quick” diets, or “lose fat in 10 days!” ads if we were content with our body.

I love learning more about fitness and nutrition. The science of fitness is interesting to me, and so I followed a bunch of fitness-focussed accounts on Instagram. Last night as I was enjoying a full-bodied glass of red wine and a couple of squares of dark chocolate with sea salt, I started browsing my Instagram feed. Images of fit bodies (heads cut off/focus on chiselled body parts), quotes like “real women drop it like a squat”, and low-calorie meals flooded my feed. I instantly felt shameful about my glass of red and my dark chocolate. So I clicked unfollow on every stranger fitness-based account that brought up body-shaming feelings for me (I should add I enjoy seeing my friend’s fitness progress, I love their hearts and I’m invested in their hard work).

After removing the accounts, I had to analyze why seeing all those photos made me feel bad about myself. I asked myself this: Do I want to constrict calories to a level where I’m not happy? No! I don’t want to feel hungry. I crave balance not restriction. Do I aspire to be a size 2/4? No, because that’s not my personal goal.

Hey, it’s none of my business what you eat, your personal goals, and how often you workout or don’t workout. Go for it girl! However, no one will dictate to me what my body should look by their standard of a “real woman”. We are all real women! ha!

There’s just as much “skinny” shaming as there is “fat” shaming. My point is why shame? Why focus on the physical? Why do we even have an opinion about another woman’s body? Seriously, none of my business. I want to get to know another women for her heart, her sense of humour, her personality. I really don’t care how many calories a day she eats or what she weighs.

So love your body for all you are physically capable of doing. Embrace and celebrate your imperfections because that’s what makes you unique. Feel pride from treating yourself with respect and self-love.

Above all else, let’s not just love ourselves, but love others through action: lifting one another up with encouragement and support. No jealousy or envy. There is no room for that in living an authentic life full of positivity.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

A Beautiful Life within the Details

Published on April 15, 2014 by Christine8 Comments

I woke up to the first rays of morning light diffused through our bedroom window. It’s been such a long winter, oh how I appreciate the sunlight and the above zero temperatures.

Wiping sleep from my eyes and patting down wisps of crazy hair, I walk down the stairs to the kitchen. Why is every light on? I remark inwardly that my oldest son must have gotten up for his 11 p.m. snack of a couple of buns with melted peanut butter. As my coffee brews, I look out into the back yard willing the grass to turn from brown to green. I decide I’ll go look for patches of green later in the day, the firsts signs of spring will melt the icicles off of any Albertan’s heart.

Coffee in hand, I check my calendar to see what is on the agenda for this week. I always feel one step behind with work, kid’s after-school stuff, and kid’s school assignments. I mentally take note of this week’s tasks: 2 photo shoots (pretty excited for these), a school bake sale, my first attempt at hot yoga with a friend, Volunteer tea at the school, School forms to hand in, and packing to visit family for Easter. No one tells you that you will feel like you are going back to school when you have kids.

I feel that familiar nagging sense…the monkey that was chillin’ in the corner, meanders over, wraps his little monkey hands around my long neck and then settles onto my back. Hello Monkey on my back, haven’t felt you for a day.

I wonder what about this week makes me feel this way. Almost all of those tasks are doable. I am after all a grown ass woman with the capacity to juggle. I decide it’s the bake sale. It wasn’t until I volunteered to hand out bake sale items years ago that I understood the pressure that can come with such a little assignment. To see the kid’s faces when a Mom puts in extra effort to make a seasonal treat is pretty cute. Kids will also turn into socialite snobs if the treats don’t live up to their refined sugar-lovin’ palate.

You see, a week ago, at 8:20 a.m. (10 minutes before the kids leave for school), my son moseys into the kitchen and announces that he needs bake sale items for that morning. Mother Hubbard!!! As I was hastily making popcorn and looking for some sort of worthy receptacle to house the popping buggers, my son giggles and says “silly me Mom, it’s next Wednesday but I’ll take that popcorn in my lunch. Cool?!”

Back to this morning, in the words of my Dad “I beam up the internet computer” to search for an Easter themed bake sale item on Pinterest. My sorting parameters are this: quick, under 5 baking ingredients, preferably no oven required, but still worthy to bring an oooooooh or an ahhhhhh out of a Kindergarten’s mouth hole. I find the addition of chocolate can produce this result.

I decide on this little diddy…

Perfecto. A while ago, the parent’s association sent a letter home that bake sale were now going to be healthy items. So I made a healthy item, and tried to push my healthy fair (like that shady puppet on Sesame street trying to sell an “O”) among the table of cupcakes and chocolate cookies only to bring those healthy treats home with me.

Pssssttttt…how would ya like to buy a healthy treat?! Circular and not sweet…

Sorry, I can’t compete with cupcakes. I’ll add some oats to chocolate and call it a day.

I inwardly congratulate myself on not being a loser Mom today, because that’s how I felt last week. My house was in shambles, laundry piled to the roof while I compiled a year’s worth of tax receipts. I missed sending the registration to school for my son’s introduction into Junior High next year. The finale was on one special night when I awoke to the melodic sounds of a puking shitting dog. Yay. On the day my dog blew up, I had convinced myself his kidneys were shutting down by the end of day. I stalked him in our yard and didn’t see him pee once. Turns out he ate garbage because I left the door open a crack. I like to think he sauntered up to the slightly ajar cupboard door, opened his little dog peepers real big and said “hmmmm, what do we have here?”. Then he quietly opens it with his little paw hand like a human (he stands upright at this point) tenderly picking out garbage food. Sets himself a miniature dog table where he cuts garbage food with a fork and knife after tying a mini handkerchief around his hairy chest.

Anywhoooo, I wasn’t a loser today. Nope, I was calm, collected and competent. Look at me pinning recipes like a Martha.

Wrapped in her favourite fluffy blanket, my daughter shuffled slowly into my office and leaned into me cheek first. That’s how she hugs. She leans in, clenches her eyes, and waits for her hug and kiss. It’s adorable.

I yell up the stairs to my other two sleeping kids and start on breakfast. My son Lukey comes down already dressed and ready to attack the day with his trademark unbridled energy. I told myself I wouldn’t be that Mom who would make different things for each kid, yet here I was getting cereal with OJ for one and a peanut butter bun with bananas for another. It’s just easier that way. One size does not fit all in this house. Lukey loves left overs, it’s not uncommon to walk into the kitchen first thing and see him bellied up to the island eating mashed potatoes and steak.

My oldest son listens to Metallica while he gets ready. He yells a good-bye as he sprints out the door and revs up his ’87 Chevy to go to high school. He’s a great kid with a killer sense of humour. I wonder how he became so responsible. Lord knows I wasn’t as responsible at his age. I decide to apologize to my parents next time I see them for not being a responsible teen. I may even buy them a greeting card. Note to self: buy a greeting card suitable to wash away 18 years of frustrated memories. I wonder if perhaps my parents have forgotten the time I convinced my sister to tie sheets together and climb out the second story bedroom window. I am thankful the wood pallets broke her fall. I also wonder why my parents never replaced that chunk of carpet in their bedroom I burned while lighting kleenex on fire. One has a hard time forgetting that when you step on a burnt patch of carpet right beside your own bed for years.

Off track again…

I start on the younger kid’s lunches, sign agendas and out-dated forms with a hand-written “hope it’s not too late to hand in”. I always add a smiley face because I figure that will make it better. The smiley face is a lost art. My favourite thing to do to my husband is to add a smiley face and dot his “I” with a heart after he signs the bill at restaurants. ha! What an ass I am.

I realize we are running late. I brush the knots out of my daughter’s hair while she shrugs her shoulders and grimaces with each stroke of the brush. Note to self: make hair appointment to get it thinned out. I repeat myself in a raised voice that can only be likened to Grover. “We are going to be late, let’s go!” No one can find frickin’ socks. Where do the socks go? After getting the kids out the door at a feverish pace, it takes seconds for the Mom-guilt to settle in like a thick fog. I think about all the ways I could have shown more patience, and reprimand myself for not signing forms on time. From Mom-hero to Mom-zero in 10 minutes flat.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post. This crazy, always-behind, calendar of tasks is the small picture. I will miss this some day. In thinking about this time leaving, I already feel the pangs of missing it. My kids need me, and I need them. We may not be a well-oiled machine, but we work.

I am perfectly imperfect. It’s not my job to pretend I’m a perfect Mom because life is imperfect. Authenticity lives within imperfections.

We love.

We fight.

We make-up.

We love some more.

I will treasure the way my daughter Tess leans in for hugs cheek first, hates getting her hair brushed, and needs solitude as she eats her cereal in peace in the morning.

I will treasure the way my oldest son Ty listens to Metallica in the morning, eats 11 p.m. snacks, and revs his truck a little too loud.

I will treasure the way my middle child Luke eats steak and potatoes for breakfast, can never find matching socks, insights panic over the wrong bake sale day, and wears collared shirts under hoodies everyday (buttoned right to the top).

These little seemingly insignificant details are what makes up a childhood. They are what makes up the memories a Mom will always hold dear to her heart.

I hope you can find the beauty in your own little life details today and embrace imperfection. Because it’s beautiful.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

The Privilege of Complaining

Published on April 10, 2014 by Christine2 Comments

We just returned home from a wonderful first-ever-family tropical vacation to Mexico.

Click HERE for some Ocean/tropical eye-candy.

Leading up to our trip, I researched the resort Sandos Playacar like a mad woman. A chick could spend an entire day reading reviews on Trip Advisor. I know this because I did and after reading many a review I was so confused whether it was good, bad, or so/so. I took the negative reviews with a grain of salt, because I’m not that picky. Give me friends/family, a cold drink, a chair by a pool, food I don’t have to cook, a clean room, and I’m a happy girl.

When we got to the resort and spent our first day playing by the Ocean, swimming in the pool, eating our weight in Mexican fair, and enjoying a few Cerveza’s with my hubby, I couldn’t help but think about how complaining is a privilege to many of us. If we have food on our table, a warm home to call our own, sports to take our children to, a school to attend our Kid’s Christmas concerts, a religion to practice without threat of persecution, words to speak freely, and a relaxing trip to take with our family….then we are privileged.

One of the main complaints I read on the message board was “It’s a really long walk from the rooms to the beach” and “it takes forever to wait for a golf cart to pick people up”. One commenter said “I waited 10 minuets for a golf cart, and I finally just walked there myself.” I was expecting a long walk through hot coals the way many commented about it, and what I found was a 5-10 minute walk tops through beautiful trails surrounded by lush vegetation, birds of paradise, palm trees, & monkeys. Golf carts passed by us every 5-15 minutes. Perhaps I sound like I’m standing on a soap box, but because of my life experiences I feel strongly about this point. To be able to walk or even jog is a gift. If you have your mobility you are blessed. I have witnessed my sister lose all her mobility due to MS. What she wouldn’t give to walk “a really long way” to the Ocean.

Complaint: “they staff didn’t always greet us as we passed by and some didn’t know English”. Ummmm….it’s Mexico. English is not their native language. We are vacationing on their land and the staff work their asses off while we lounge by a pool. I was in awe of how hard they all worked. They work circles around me. It was so hot out, and they were working in that heat with pants/work boots/shirt while we sauntered by (or flew by in a golf cart) sporting bathing suits and flippy floppies.

Complaint: “My clothes were musty when I got home from the humidity.” Ummmm…that’s because there’s an ocean right outside your air-conditioned room.

Complaint: “The food wasn’t that great, we were sick of the buffet after a week.” Ok, the food! There were so many choices everyday and a different choice every night. I had to roll my ass to my room because there was so much delicious food every where we looked. Food for 24 hours of the day. And outside our all-inclusive resort, there is poverty.

Complaint: “It was loud”. Yes, the sounds of people enjoying Zumba, kids laughing in the pool, and music floating on the tropical breeze can be loud for sure.

Complaint: “The rooms are outdated”. I don’t know about you, but I don’t go on Vacation to stare at a modern room. There’s a whole ocean outside the door, and so much eye candy to look at.

Now the irony of a post complaining about complainers is not lost on me. 😉 I’m writing this as a reminder for my own privileged tush too. I have a blessed life. I need to remember that. I complain about ridiculous things.

This is the main reason physical fitness is so important to me. I have the gift of my health and legs that will run if I urge them too. I’m thankful for my health, for my family/friends, for my home, for my life, and for the gift of insight.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

The Issue with Food Issues

Published on March 5, 2014March 5, 2014 by ChristineLeave a comment

I had a conversation with a woman recently about her diet. She eats very differently than I do (now that I’m in the maintaining world). I’m always fascinated with the way others eat. I’m not sure why. No judgements, just interested. The newest fad diets, no carbs, carb cycling, high protein/little carbs, lots of carbs/little protein, Paleo…all of it is interesting to me. I want knowledge for curiosity sake given I’ve found what’s worked for me year 9 of maintaining my healthy weight. Everyone is different in what works for them, and that’s what’s so interesting.

Anywhoooo, after she told me about her diet, I filled her in a bit about my journey of shedding 90 odd pounds, she replied “This way of eating probably wouldn’t work for you because you have food issues.”

Huh. Food issues. I often admit to others I have food issues, but hearing it out of someone else’s mouth had an interesting effect on me as I’m not a fan of labels.

Oh my, I’m one of those weird food issue people. ha! I really thought about it though, and I’m going to own that label.

I have food issues people.

In thinking about it, doesn’t our society promote food issues wildly?! Everywhere you look there’s fat-free, low carb, non-saturated fat, natural, lean, (etc.) labels on all our foods. When you go out to eat, the portions are double what any human would need to get full. My children get fast food at School for hot lunch once a week (don’t get me wrong, I love hot lunch day because I run out of things to put in their lunch…it’s like a day off). I think our whole culture has food issues. How many people do you know that are on a diet right now ladies? How many women do you know that are completely comfortable with their weight? Forgive me for speaking broadly, but we are chasing this elusive goal to be a little thinner, and we want fast fixes. It’s no wonder there’s so many food related advertising. We are never satisfied. Most of the people at the gym are downing protein shakes after their workouts, myself included. That’s not exactly “the way nature would have intended” to ingest our protein. Food advertising is all around us and it’s screwing with our minds.

I often have to take a step back and remember that my goal is to be healthy, balanced, strong, and happy. Restriction does not make me happy. I will turn into a raging beyatch if you take away my occasional indulgence of a good meal out at The Keg, a beautiful glass of red wine, and a square of dark chocolate. I might stab you with a fork if you tell me how many calories are in any of those items. I don’t give a bouncing kangaroo. This maybe an indication I have food issues. I will own that.

If the truth be told, I work out to eat. I’m a foodie. I adore the care and love that is poured into the preparation of a kick-ass meal. I love to cook too. For that fact, I shape my activity around that, and follow the 80/20 rule. 80% healthy, 20% sorta healthy (although I will always maintain that a good steak, glass of red, or dark chocolate will make anyone happier).

What is my point?! I have food issues, you may have food issues, our advertising/talk shows/magazine covers definitely promote food issues. It’s OK to have food issues. I felt all shamey in the moment when that woman said that to me, but there’s no shame in it. I’m not alone, I know that.

So I’m going to stick to what I know, and just keep eating foods that come from nature. Foods that are not processed. Foods that are brightly coloured and my protein used to run away from hunters. I love meat. My beef-farmer-father raised me on it. That’s cool. The way you eat is cool too. It’s none of my business.

The issue I have with food issues, is the idea that I’m alone in my food issues. So here’s me screaming from the roof tops about it (or to 10 people who will read this post…hi Roxy)

This maybe the most pointless, round and round post I’ve ever written.

From my heart to yours,

Christine with the food issue

One Year of Strength Training Results

Published on February 17, 2014 by Christine2 Comments

The other day I weighed in for the first time in weeks and I realized it’s been a full year since I’ve started strength training…thanks to all that I learned from my fabulously focused trainer friend Shannon Olsen and from the kind and inspiring Kristine Rustand of BMS Bootcamps . Prior to working with these wonderful ladies, the majority of my exercise was cardio based with a bit of strength training. For the past year, I have focused on strength training with a bit of cardio. It’s been a complete change in the way I train to maintain my health and wellness. I love the focus and pride weight training gives me.

Because our society can be so weight loss centered…here’s my weigh-in results after one year of strength training:

I lost a total of 0 pounds.

That’s right I weigh exactly the same one year later.

If I were to base my results on the scale, I would feel like I failed or at the very least I would feel like I didn’t make a whole lot of progress.

Weight Loss: 0

BUT…

Strength Gain: I’ve increased the weight I can lift by over 100% in some areas. From squatting my body weight, to squatting 140 pounds for several sets. I’ve gone from a shaky total of 12 pushups to 3 sets of 12 incline pushups. I’ve gone from a dangly no-hope-of-pulling-up-my-own-body-weight to actually being able to do a couple of pull-ups unassisted. That’s HUGE for me. A year ago I had no idea what a deadlift was, today I deadlift a couple of times a week progressing in weight as I gain muscle. At the moment, I’m at 3 sets of 12 lifting 110 pounds. It shocks me each month that I can increase the weight I can lift in every area. It doesn’t seem possible in my limited mindset.

I was always intimidated by the “guy zone” at the gym. The weight training area was off-limits. I felt like I had no business being there. My biggest sense of joy comes from the confidence I have in that area now. When I see the squat rack free, I get all excited. ha! I used to spend my entire time at the gym on a treadmill, running to nowhere. There’s definitely a place for running, but now it’s a part of the plan….not all of my plan.

Aside from my new-found-happiness via weights, the greatest gift has been through the incredibly motivating and uplifting people I’ve met this year by consistently going to the gym the same time of day for a few days a week.

The man who was run over after his motorcycle crash…he spends hours at the gym strengthening his new legs.

I met a man the other day who has two brand new knees. After 6 months at the gym and rehabilitation, he was able to climb the rocks in Mexico and jog on the beach with his grandchildren. He said this to me last week: “take care of your body, because when you get to my age, you need it to enjoy your retirement.”

I met a Mom who found self-confidence and purpose through fitness as she coped with her kids leaving for school.

I met a man the other day who showed me how to use battling ropes. He’s got some years on me, but he kicked my ass! As he showed me all he can do, I could feel how proud he was of his progress. Seriously, kicked. my. ass.

I met a woman who progresses every time I see her. She leaves her heart on the gym floor and through one little compliment I gave her about how she motivated me to work harder, we now exchange smiles and hellos rather than two strangers passing by.

And finally, I’m always encouraged by a man who walks the track as he recovers from a stroke. His strength of body and spirit amazes me. He just keeps going and if you could see the expression of determination on his face you would be inspired to just get out and walk a lap along with him.

I’m sharing all of this today because for years I was caught up in judging myself based on what a stupid scale read. I know many of my friends struggle with this as well.

If you have worked hard towards your goals and you are frustrated with your progress, I want to encourage you to focus on the strength you are building in both your body and mind. Focus on how much farther or longer you can run. Focus on the uplifting of your spirit as you sweat out the stress. Focus on increasing the weight each session or the amount of reps you can do. Focus on uplifting others through the joy you feel. Get out and live! Remember where you started, but more importantly WHY you started. Where you are at today in your fitness, is another person’s goal. Be good to yourself and enjoy the ride.

This past year has been a gift as I’ve learned so much more about the limits (or what I thought was my limits) of my mind and body. The correlation between the two in undeniable.

If you don’t know where to start with weight training, go hire a trainer. It’s worth every dollar! Check out: http://www.bodybuilding.com . Great resources for free! (who doesn’t love free)

From my heart to yours,

Christine