Author: Christine

The Gift of Sight

Published on by Christine4 Comments

Sometimes in life, circumstances around you align with your own life and there are clear lessons to be learned.  Revelations arise that were always right in front of your face the whole time, but you just weren’t at a place to see them clearly.  Wisdom that you once heard takes on new meaning and you finally understand it.  I had these moments happen over and over to me in the last few days, and as it seems it’s happened to many special people in my life as well.  Although our experiences differ, is it a coincidence that we are all seeing life with a fresh new perspective?  I don’t think so.

People come into your life for specific reasons and at different points.  Some people come into your life to teach you how to…..

live

laugh at yourself

let go

appreciate life

Others come in to teach you how to….

be real

trust

 fail

get back up

And you are part of other’s life as well for the same reasons.

But, I believe that the only time that you truly learn is when you are ready to take off the blinders and look deep within.  I have spent much of my life stuffing things down, but eventually they will come to the surface. 

So, the most important life lesson I have seen in a new light this week is that I am the only one responsible for my actions, reactions, and attitude.  Until I stop blaming others around me for why I am unhappy, and take responsibility for my life, I won’t see the lessons to be learned that are right there for the taking.  There is no power that comes from waiting for others to change my life…from waiting for circumstances to change in order to make ME happy.  It’s all on me. 

I don’t think a person can fully understand that until they are ready and have come to that place of total acceptance that they must look inward for change.  The only person you can control is yourself. 

When you start taking responsibility for your actions, and take control of how you react to circumstances that happen in life…both good and bad…it’s only then that you can truly be free to heal and grow. 

I’m almost 7 years into reclaiming my life, and I’m just now beginning to understand this.  There is still so much to learn.  But the best part is, that I’m in control of keeping my eyes wide open and not just hearing about these life lessons…but actually LISTENING and APPLYING it all to my life.

I first saw this video when I was at a very low point in my life.  Even though one may view it as depressing, I find hope and wisdom within the lyrics and images.  The hope is the promise that I have control of my life the and knowledge is right at my fingertips if only I chose to listen.

My hope is that you and I will see life with open eyes without the cloud of blame, resentment, or doubt.  Not everyone will understand where you are coming from and that’s OK as they haven’t walked in your shoes.  It’s like when someone that doesn’t have kids yet tries to tell you how to raise your own.  They just don’t understand that which they haven’t lived.  I hope that makes sense to someone else!  It’s a hard one to articulate. 🙂

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Balancing Act

Published on by Christine9 Comments

The pursuit of happiness in life must come with balance.  There has to be a balance and peace found in all areas of life. 

Balance between…

~work and play

~devotion and letting go 

~focussing and relaxing the mind

~indulging and denying

I have come to realize that finding this balance is difficult.  I feel pulled in different directions at times and lose track of the simplest truth…that life is good and happiness is found from within!  I have also realized that whatever path I take…in this case the area of living a healthier lifestyle…it must be one that I can stay on for the rest of my life.  So with every Yin, there is always a Yang.  There has to be. 

Sometimes finding balance means you have to take some time to really focus on change.  Change is scary, but necessary to move forward.   With every scary life experience there is so much to learn about yourself and life.  Be present in that knowledge and don’t let it pass you by.

Don’t beat yourself up when you aren’t getting the results you think you should be.  Focus on the changes that are happening in your life.  Because if you truly change, results have to happen.  It’s inevitable. 

Positive in, Positive out (and vise-versa)!

Personally, I don’t want to live a life that is wrapped up in guilt when I do indulge. Because life is meant to be enjoyed and savoured.  I have clear goals in place. They are tangible and achievable, but must also be sustainable in the end. 

I am truly thankful for recent insights into life.  I am also thankful for friendships that are built on true acceptance, love, and support.  It’s important to surround yourself with a support system that not only brings you up when you are down, but who will also challenge you when life gets confusing and you have lost your way.

I recently had a moment of total self-acceptance and while I’ve had these little moments before, they are usually few and far between. 

As I stood in the mirror picking apart my flaws as I do from time to time, I actually stopped myself and accepted the fact that I’m flawed and imperfect and it brought a huge smile to my face.  Who isn’t?!

I looked up imperfect in the dictionary.  It means “lacking completeness”.  I am complete, so I’m going to drop that one. 🙂

I hope you find balance in all areas of your life, and that peace will come to you as a result.  Surround yourself with support, love, and always give more than you take.

From my ever-expanding heart to yours!

Christine

Shifting Focus

Published on by Christine5 Comments
‘Focus on what’s working in your life, the positive stuff. For that which you focus on and think about the most is actually what manifests in your life.’ Dr. Christiane Northrup
 
I believe this whole-heartedly.  There is so much in life that is out of our control.  But we can control our attitude, thoughts and most importantly actions that bring about amazing positive changes in life. 
Sometimes it’s difficult to understand why our lives stay on the same course.  I was talking to a friend who didn’t understand why she wasn’t losing weight because she was so active and busy throughout her day.  Her body is used to that level of exercise and activity.  You have to change things up and add more activity to bring about different results.  This is true in life as well.  If life has stayed on that same course for you and you are wondering why the changes haven’t come about, it’s because nothing has changed!  It’s the same.  The same actions and thoughts.  The same way of reacting to circumstances. 
Bringing in a New Year is a great thing to inspire change and welcome NEW experiences into your life.  The mind is just a little more open with the promise of a new fresh year.   I have realized that my life took the best course when I focused on the positive, and let go of the negative and the judgements of others.  Every experience in life comes with an opportunity to learn from it.  It’s up to you what you do with that knowledge. 
Focus on the good.  The powerful. The positive. The uplifting. The joy. The new knowledge.

And run with it…

From my heart to yours,
Christine

Last Day of 09

Published on by Christine3 Comments

We had a great Christmas and I’m ready to welcome in 2010.  I went into this Christmas with a better outlook on my food choices.  It’s Christmas, there is no need to worry about the calories consumed on such a magical day.  There has to be balance, and part of that balance comes from removing guilt when you do allow yourself to enjoy foods that are thoughtfully prepared by those you love or that you have spent hours preparing.

I feel like I have taken an important step forward in finding balance.   Living a healthy lifestyle is all about balance: finding exercise you love to do and finding a new relationship with food.  I never thought I would ever say I love to exercise, but the feeling after I’m done working out is amazing.   I always walk away with a smile and a clear mind.  It’s the BEST feeling.

Most New Years are brought in with new resolves.  I’m not doing that this year. I’m going to enjoy the ride and all that I’ve learned about life this past year.   I’m looking forward to a fresh new year with new possibilities and opportunities to grow further.  It’s a blessing that I get to continue on this path with a great big smile 🙂

Happy New Year to you all!  Do you have new resolves and goals for your New Year?

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Snow Day

Published on by Christine2 Comments

I’m taking advantage of this snow day. I have the fireplace on, coffee cup in hand, and my Christmas music is on my play list.  There is something about the first big snow fall of the year, to bring the Christmas spirit into a person’s heart.  I was talking to a friend on the phone this morning, and she has me thinking.  Nothing is black and white, and every one’s journey is different.  What ties us all together is the spirit of resilience and hope. 

What I’m left thinking about is how strong she is and how bright her spirit is. I don’t think she sees that.  If only we could see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us most.  If only we could see how much our journey can help others who are on a similar path. If we could let down the walls and reach out for support, which in turn can only help others.

So here’s a bit of random thoughts that came to me as I curled up on my couch with my hot cup of coffee.  These are just my opinions! I appreciate that we are all at different stages in our lives and I have so much to learn. 🙂

1. The only person you can control is you.  You can’t control the actions of those around you. There is just YOU and there is something very freeing and powerful in that knowledge. It puts the responsibility for happiness in life squarely on our own shoulders and releases the expectations we put on others.

2.  Your thoughts shape your day.  The power of the mind to bring about hope, joy, and success is amazing.  Tap into those areas that bring you the most joy, but allow yourself to feel the pain, the loss, and the grief.  We grow through adversity, and you can not truly experience the light without also experiencing times of darkness as well.  That’s when you truly appreciate the light of hope.

 3.  We truly do not know the strength that lies within our soul.  It’s there for the taking if only we wouldn’t convince ourselves that it’s impossible.  Allow the spirit of positivity and joy into your life, and give no power to the negative.  That negativity is just lies that we allow in and prevent us from moving forward.

4. Life is meant to be lived with pride and joy.  Remind yourself often of your goals. Write them out on sticky notes and put them up where you can see them every day.  Shape your daily choices around the goals you’ve set out.

5. Be good to yourself! There is no power to be found in being down on yourself.  It creates a cycle of negativity and you deserve so much good in your life.

6. I’m a Mom, and I often forget that my kids are watching me and learning about life through my eyes. I want them to see life in the best way possible.  They deserve to have a happy Mom that is excited about life and that will raise them in that zest and respect for a life full of hope and promise. 

7.  Give yourself permission to let go of others expectations, judgments, and opinions.  They haven’t walked in your shoes. 

8. We can be the most positive thinker in the world, but without action it’s pointless.  You also have to figure out “Why” you are striving for a certain goal.   Being a certain size really isn’t a goal. Why are you setting out to be a certain size? Do you think your issues will fade away once you are a size ____?  I’ve gone through that, and speaking from my experience, the same issues follow you no matter what size you are.  I finally figured out that my goal is to live an authentic life full of joy and purpose.  Taking care of myself through exercise, eating right, sharing, and finding joy in the little things bring about changes that allow me to keep the weight off.  But without action, the results can’t possible come to fruition.  I need to put in the work which does more for my mind and spirit than it does for my body.

Well, that’s about all for now.  Happy snow day for those in my area (I hear there are many with no snow out their windows). 

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Purpose

Published on by Christine11 Comments

I have had a few revelations this week.  I’m not sure I can put them into words, but I will try!  I struggle with my body image, but when I really think about it, a more accurate statement would be that I struggle with my self-image.  I often lose who I am and who I want to be/my goals.

I was thinking back to 2002, back when I weighed close to 250 pounds.  I was a shell of a person. I wanted to fade away into the background, away from the judgements of others.  I realize today that it really had nothing to do with the opinion of others, but rather my own opinion.  I didn’t love who I was.  I knew I had it in me to be the person I wanted to be, but I had so much self-loathing that I couldn’t move forward.  

What changed for me?  I took one little step forward.  One step towards treating myself well.  A step that was for me and no one else.  Those little steps took over, and I started feeling pride in myself; something I had really never felt before.  I wasn’t living up to my potential and I had no idea what my potential was. I stayed in this little “I can’t do it” bubble…never challenging myself for fear of failure.  What I didn’t understand, was my self-loathing was attached to the knowledge that I was failing myself everyday I stayed on that couch and with every bit of bingeing on the wrong foods that I did.

I have been struggling recently with what my purpose is.  And, the feelings that I felt those years ago came back.  I realized it has nothing to do with what I weigh. It’s how I’m feeling inside.  I’ve felt that same self-loathing lately.  Why? Because I am not honouring my goals.  My focus has shifted. I am not proud of myself. 

When you can get up in the morning and look yourself in the mirror and feel pride for what you are doing in life, there is no better joy.  I have spent the last little while, down on myself and there is no power to be found when you are in that place.  As a mom, wife, photographer, etc. I have put everyone else first and have avoided taking care of myself. I have avoided relationships that are important to me because I feel like I am failing.

So, I know the root of many of my food/exercise issues start in my heart. I need to love myself, and remind myself daily of my goals.  I need to focus on my purpose in life. I need to be proud of who I am.  I feel my purpose is to help others that are stuck in this same place. It’s what fuels my desire to move forward as well.  I need to feel that I am giving back all that I had taken for granted in life. I want to share joy where I had once found little.  I can see so much power, but also deep hurt within so many people who are also struggling and have lost who they are.  I can see it so clearly, their bright beautiful spirit, and my wish is that they could see it too.  

My favourite quote.

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.” George Bernard Shaw

I need to love who I see in the mirror.  I feel fortunate that I have found the path that can make that a reality if only I would take a moment and honour my goals and take action.  To be thankful and live my life through gratitude and true joy for life and all it has to offer.   There is true power in living a life of joy, purpose, and gratitude.

I recently started a “Reclaiming Life” group on facebook.  It has been a great source of motivation and inspiration for me and I hope for others as well.  It’s an open group, so if you feel it can help you move forward, please join in!  Finding a support network is so important.  Sometimes it’s not easy admitting that we need help from others, but the support is there for the taking. 🙂

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=179437799538

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Struggling

Published on by Christine7 Comments

Happy Monday!  How are you? 

I went to the gym this morning and it felt awesome to go.  I spent the entire hour thinking.  I’m struggling. 

I’m either in control of the food part, or I’m in control of the exercise part.  But both exercise and eating healthy combined, is my struggle.  I’m not sure why.

I need to figure this out!  I’m great in the morning and through out the day.  My resolve is strong.  I make healthy food choices, and most days have lots of energy to stay active. 

Then night comes, and after I put my kids to bed, I fight with the internal dialogue to say screw it, and eat.  It’s so frustrating because each morning I wake up wondering why I can’t just figure out my night-time eating struggles.  It’s so easy when I wake up to a fresh new day.  But, by the evening I don’t want to deal with anything.  I just want to turn my mind off.

I feel like a fraud most of the time.  I don’t have it all together.  But the truth be told, this blog is just like a journal and it’s important to get it out there. To stay positive, and remind myself what my goals are.

I have been thinking about starting a facebook group, where anyone can join that needs support.  We can share successes, and support one another during struggles.  We can post weight or fat loss (you wouldn’t have to post your weight…just weight or percentage of weight lost), workout times, what we are eating, etc.  Are you interested in joining?  I think it’s so important to join together and support one another.  A huge step in the right direction is to find a circle of support that will lift you up when you are down.  Another important part of finding a support network is finding like-minded people to be accountable to. 

If you’re interested, let me know! 

Have a fabulous Monday.

Christine

Finding YOU again

Published on by Christine4 Comments

As a busy Mom, I often lose who I am.  I know I’ve talked about his before, but it’s an issue that I struggle with on a daily basis.  When I don’t feel in control of my activity and what I chose to eat, it really does translate into all areas of my life.  I think the biggest blessing that has come from taking better care of myself, is the feeling of being in control and there is great pride that accompanies that.  That feeling transfers down into all areas of everyday life. 

I have chosen a different way to view life than what comes naturally to me.   For example, every day mundane tasks have to power to annoy the life out of me!  Making several trips walking the kids to school every day, having to park far away in a busy parking lot, getting groceries at night when I would rather be vegging on my couch, all annoy me if the truth be told.  All I have to do is tell myself that each of these little tasks, are just another way to stay active!  So I chose to park farther away in an empty parking lot, take the longest possible route to get bread at the grocery store, and walk instead of drive to the school.  Because every extra step matters.  It makes me want to do more!  It keeps me from the comfort of my couch.   It makes me want to break out into spontaneous dance when I’m down. I have no rhythm so it’s more awkward flailing than actual dancing.

When I think back to the most depressing part of being stuck at a weight I wasn’t happy with, it was that I felt so bad about myself. I felt trapped, lethargic, and every day tasks overwhelmed me. I felt like life was passing me by and I had a hard time getting out of bed in the morning knowing that those feelings were on the top of my mind. 

I wasn’t eating healthy. I was eating a lot of fried foods with no nutritional value.  I had no energy.  I remember coming home from work during the lunch hour and just wanting to sleep for the hour.  I had a hard time climbing the stairs at work. By the top, I was out of breath and ready to sit down!   Eating a diet rich in nutrients and vitamins not only keeps you healthy and gives you natural antibodies to fight off sickness, but it gives you so much energy.  It fills you up in a way that doesn’t weigh you down.

Making positive little choices in your day, leads to more positive choices.  The best part about it is YOU get to make those choices for yourself.  You are in control of what you chose to eat, and how much activity you add into your day.

If you feel lost or out of control, look inside and make that choices needed to treat yourself well.  Your body was designed to be fueled with natural foods.   There is a reason processed food doesn’t grow on trees. 

You will find YOU again if you’ve lost your way.   Positivity, pride and strength open the mind up and you can’t help but transfer those blessings into other areas of your life.  

I’m going to also put this out there.  I’m not always sure if what I share here are too broad of ideas! Are they tangible?  If you ever have any questions that you think I may help you with, please e-mail me at cjhop (at) telus (dot) net or leave me a comment.  If I can help in any way by lending advice on what to eat, exercising, or if you need someone to talk to I’m here for you.  

I remember a time when I was driving home from work, thinking I wish there was someone out there that understood how I was feeling and could help in some small way.  I felt so stuck and totally at a loss as to how to move forward.  I’m here for you if you are in that same space.  I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I do know what has worked for me.  Most of it starts in your mind and heart, so any program such as weight watchers can work.  You are more powerful than you may know.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

I Cleaned out my Closet

Published on by Christine3 Comments

I was talking to a friend about how cluttered my closet is and it’s translated into my life as well.  My life is my cluttered closet. 

I had enough yesterday and ran up to my closet. Clothes went flying out of my closet and onto the floor. I was a mad cleaning woman on a mission to declutter my closet.  I realized that the clothes in my closet range from size 20 to size 9.  The bigger clothes shoved to the back, but taking up precious space.  With each piece of too-big clothing I removed, I actually felt lighter.  Each piece of clothing represented a memory of a time in my life that looking back meant a lot to me.  My Fire Training School uniform, my size 18 jeans, my baggy 2x sweaters, various sizes of workout clothes…all hold memories of where I’ve come from.  It was time to let them go however.  I can’t believe I’ve held onto them for so many years. 

I packed up 3 bags of clothes and loaded them into my car.  As I was unloading each bag to Goodwill, I felt a release and realized that I will not be going back to that place ever again.  It was both freeing and sad at the same time.  It was a time in my life that I realized what I finally wanted in life. It marked the beginning.  

Good-bye big clothes!  My closet is much lighter and represent where I am NOW in my life.  There’s no going back, only forward.