Category: Digging Deeper

Today’s Woman: The Non-Airbrushed Variety

Published on by Christine14 Comments

I was surfing the web and came across a couple of photos of celebrities who were featured on magazine covers.  These covers have obviously been airbrushed.

Kelly Clarkson’s cover caused quite the controversy back in 2009.  “My happy weight changes,” Clarkson says in the September issue of SELF. “Sometimes I eat more; sometimes I play more. I’ll be different sizes all the time. When people talk about my weight, I’m like, ‘You seem to have a problem with it; I don’t. I’m fine!’ I’ve never felt uncomfortable on the red carpet or anything.”  Yet, her cover was obviously airbrushed which I believe she had little control over.

Editor-in-chief of Self Magazine, Lucy Danziger defended the magazine cover. People reports:

“Yes. Of course we do retouching,” Danziger writes in a post on Self.com. “Did we alter her appearance? Only to make her look her personal best.”
Calling Clarkson “the picture of confidence,” Danzinger writes, “I think this photo is the truest we have ever put out there on the newsstand.”

What?! “Only to make her look her personal best”…are you kidding me?  How is this her personal best if she doesn’t ACTUALLY look this way?!  What a crock! Am I supposed to stare at these magazine covers and wish I looked just like them?  If so, I best be opening my Photoshop folks, cause it’s going to take a lot of airbrushing.

I am a Mom of 3. I have a daughter. The idea that the media promotes airbrushed images as a standard of “beauty” is disturbing.  These images are not even REAL. Models are expected to fit a size 0. In reality, the vast majority of today’s women are not a size 0.  I feel an immense responsibility to show my daughter what the true measure of beauty is, and it comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes.  At the same time, I also want to show my daughter what a healthy lifestyle is all about.  A lifestyle of balance, activity, and healthy natural foods. Of course there is always room to enjoy a little dessert too…balance. 🙂

Here is my reality.  I will be turning 35 years old next month.  I have 3 children, and I’ve had 3 c-sections.  The heaviest I have ever been was the day I gave birth to my second son, which happens to be 122 pounds heavier than I am today.  I started the path to lose the weight a few months after I had my second son. From the day I officially made the decision to live a healthier lifestyle, I weighed in at 242 pounds.  Today, I am 150 pounds which means I have lost 92 pounds.

Because of this fact, I have stretch marks and I have extra skin. There is nothing, short of plastic surgery, that will change that. It doesn’t matter how much I work out…you can’t work off extra skin.

Again, I’m going to do something completely out of my comfort zone but I’m going to post a picture of MY belly. The belly that carried around my beautiful kids. At times I am self-conscious. But, in posting this I hope to be less self-conscious…if that makes sense. Because it’s real. It’s obviously not airbrushed. It’s who I am. You can see the lines of my 3 babies who I loved before they were even born and who I dreamed about before they were even conceived. This tummy is a story of where I’ve come from and where I am today.

When I went to Jamaica, I never thought I would actually wear a bikini on the beach. What amazed me when I got there, was that the sunbathers on the beach didn’t care what their bodies looked like. In fact, I actually felt completely at peace with my body. I felt good about myself.

This has been on my mind a lot lately as at times I look in the mirror and pick apart the areas of my body I wish I could change.  Then I snap out of it when I remember that my goal through changing my lifestyle is to be HEALTHY. To be vibrant, full-of-energy, and to hold within my heart a zest for life which involves the mind, body and spirit.

I have spent far too much time in my past struggling to accept the person that I truly am. It’s time to let go and just embrace it. I’m not defined by the size of clothes I wear, or the number on the scale. That really has nothing to do with who I am.

My perspective today is that…

Confidence is beautiful.

Authenticity is beautiful.

Vulnerability and honesty are beautiful.

Sincerity is beautiful.

We are not perfect like the airbrushed Magazine covers, but perfection isn’t reality and thank God for that.

Perfectly Imperfect. We are who we are. View yourself through the eyes of those who love you most.

Be kind to yourself.

Love.

Acceptance.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

The Road from Envy to Acceptance

Published on by Christine2 Comments

When I was at my heaviest, I had a hard time being happy for other’s accomplishments because it reminded me of all the things I wanted to do, but didn’t do. Selfish and Insecure? You bet ya! I tried my best to hide it. If my friend lost a bunch of weight, outwardly I would congratulate, but inwardly…I was green with envy.

I was green with envy on so many levels. There was this beautiful girl who I worked with back when I was at my heaviest. She was tall, blonde, athletic, confident, had perfect teeth, and liked to eat grapes at break time.  I remember looking at her as she delicately popped a grape in her mouth and I thought, “Oh healthy grape girl, how do you get a body like that…by eating grapes?!”  I was frustrated because I just didn’t get what a healthy lifestyle was all about.  I judged her, envied her and convinced myself that she was just naturally born that way. I got the short end of the stick and had a bad metabolism.  I wasn’t taking responsibility for the areas of my life that required change in order to be the woman I wanted to be. It was easier to believe that it was out of my control. I wore blinders for years.

You see, I’m an all or nothing type of person.  If set a goal for myself, I get tunnel vision and there is nothing that will stand in my way of that goal when I put my mind to it. However, it’s all or nothing and if I can’t do it the way I want to…I often won’t do it at all.  Unfortunately, I have come to realize that’s not healthy because I need a life of balance.  That’s why the saying “Progress, Not Perfection” is something I think about often.

Fast forward to my losing the weight days…exercise, research, eating healthy, getting off the couch and going outside, stepping out of my comfort zone, figuring out who I was…the good and the bad. I realized that as I made positive changes in my life and as my self-confidence grew I became genuinely happy for other’s accomplishments rather than envious.

I am not proud of the fact I was so envious of others when I lacked self-confidence. I wanted to change that with every fibre of my being, but I didn’t understand that I needed to figure out who I was, rather than focussing on the accomplishments of others.  I believe that when you figure out your own path, you can then truly accept, respect, and feel happy for another’s path, even if it differs from your own.  Sincere acceptance of others is a true blessing!

Just because something works for me, doesn’t mean it will work for you.  That’s true in all areas of life. There are many roads that one can take to arrive at the same destination.

I hold onto these personal truths:

If I want to be happy, I need to find those things in life that bring me the most happiness and let go of those things that do the opposite.

Different is interesting.

Authenticity is refreshing.

Giving is so good for the soul, especially when you want nothing in return.

Acceptance and Respect goes a long way. When you give it, you get it in return maybe not from everyone, but that’s OK.  Just let that be OK. I can choose who I trust and allow into my life.

I can’t change others. I can only change ME and that’s an amazing fact of life.

A thankful heart often comes down to perception.

It feels good to let go and just be ridiculous, silly, and carefree. Not everyone has to “get” me, but I’m so thankful for those in my life that do. You are food for my soul!

It’s OK to show weakness. It’s part of the human condition and it gives others permission to show their insecurities and faults to me.  And imperfect is refreshing in my eyes.

There is beauty in flaws.

The hard times become defining times and I’m thankful for them because they force me to grow and bring clarity to my life.  There is beauty in the break down.

A smile and laugh is contagious.

Appreciation doesn’t mean a whole lot unless it’s sincere.

Get Real.

Find and continue to search for those things that make me feel full of life within. I had a moment during my workout last week when I realized the reason I love to work out is because I feel so much during the work out and feel even more when I’m done.  It’s not always good feelings! Sometimes it’s full of physical pain, but make no mistake about it, I feel alive inside when I work out.

Dancing like an idiot is fun. It just is.

I will leave you with a song that my friend T. share with me that made me break out into awkward spontaneous dance. Most music videos are now restricted from playback here, so you will have to click to “Watch on YouTube”.  Go ahead…dance like an idiot. It’s good for the soul. 🙂

From my heart to yours,

Christine

That Feeling

Published on by Christine4 Comments

A dear friend of mine whom I’ve known and loved for years, asked me how I got to the point of where I am today of keeping the weight off.  I’ve always described to her that it’s a feeling, a stat-of-being that I can’t put my finger on and it’s difficult to describe through words, but you’ll know it when you get there.  It’s not a formula of exactly what to eat and how much to exercise.  It comes from within.

I’ve watched her transform as well over the past year.  She’s growing and changing and it’s been amazing to witness.  As we talked on the phone yesterday, she described to me how powerful she felt, how she felt self-respect, and self-confidence and didn’t quite know how she arrived there, but she felt it.  Eureka!  She’s there!  It was one of those moments that happen in life that you know you will always remember.  She’s on her own path of self-discovery!

That moment happened for me when I still had quite a lot of weight to lose.  I was still in the 200’s, but I knew with all of my being that I would reach my goal weight and keep it off this time.  I may have been far from my goal, but I already felt like I had arrived.  It was just a matter of time. Over my 20’s I had tried quite a few ways to lose the weight, but none of them felt sustainable and my drive and desire gave way to defeat.  Which, in turn gave way to eating more, moving less, and gaining even more weight than before.

So how can I explain the difference this time around?  The big change for me was that the positives of getting this part of my life under control outweighed the negatives of staying as I was. I was miserable, uncomfortable in my own body, and lacked self-confidence.  The drive and desire came from a place of refusing to no longer live life like I had in the past.

I truly didn’t feel strong enough to tackle what I knew would be a huge undertaking to lose 90 plus pounds, so I didn’t view it that way.  I set out a range of goal weights, the first being under 200, then second being 185, the third being 170, and finally the last goal weight of 165.  My weight just naturally settled at 150 by way of my lifestyle.

There are many ways you can choose to eat and exercise. I LOATHED exercising at one time, because I didn’t feel anything within.  It was just a chunk of time that I sweated my butt off, but I hated every minute of it.  It was that way at the beginning of my journey as well, but this time I forced through it because my mind was clear on my goals and my desire to move forward was strong.  There was no more excuses, no more “I’ll deal with it later”.

Before I knew it (it truly doesn’t take long), I could feel my mind and body getting stronger.  I was more coordinated.  I was more confident.  The negative inner banter fizzled away and was replaced with positive, because didn’t I deserve to be the woman I always wanted to be?

The mind is the most powerful tool, and to me it’s the one factor between success or failure towards a goal of any kind.  There’s no room for “I can’t”, or “maybe tomorrow”.  The time is right now because you say so.  When you change those thought patters, the weight will come off, make no mistake about it.

I’m not sure if I articulated what that feeling is, but I will tell you this…It’s amazing!  It transfers into all areas of life.  It turns the discouraged into the encouraged. But one of the greatest rewards is it turns one into an encourager of others.  Recently a friend told me I had the gift of encouragement (thank you!). I never looked at it that way before, but it truly is important to me to encourage and lift up others as I will always remember what it felt like to be stuck in a place where I didn’t feel that within.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

The Most Real Post I’ve Ever Published

Published on by Christine12 Comments

My first post of 2011.

What should I write.

“The New Year is a time where we take stock of last year’s hurdles, and resolve to move forward” Delete, delete, delete

“2010 was a great year, and I look forward to 2011 having learned…” Delete, delete, delete

Here’s the truth.

2010 was not a good year for me.  I couldn’t wait for it to be over, I’ve never looked forward to a New Year more.

I can’t look back at 2010 without being thankful for everything I learned however.  I reread a few posts from last year, and what struck me most was that I know how I was feeling when I wrote many of those posts, and at times it didn’t match up to what I wrote.  When I wrote to let the happy in, I was struggling to find happiness. Many of the posts felt like pep talks to myself, as I was dealing with struggles, conflicts, and loss (I can’t find the right word).

Having said that, I do wholehearted feel everything I write, but through loss it’s hard to cling to the positive and LIVE it.  Last year I felt loss over many areas of my life…within important relationships and also through the news of my father’s cancer diagnosis.  When I say loss, I mean that I lost a way of life/an outlook that I felt comfortable in.  I have reinvented many areas of my life, but change occurred slowly and on my terms. Life never presented quite so many hurdles as 2010 did.

I don’t mean to be dramatic, but it was a year of high highs and low lows.  I often felt like I was pretending to be happy when in reality there were many points throughout the year where I was far from it. Now, I say “was” because I’m taking big steps towards inner peace and happiness.  I’m making changes and I’m going to stop ignoring those things in life that I need to deal with as they feel intimidating.

One of those areas is my photography.  There is much to do when you are talking photography as a business.  In the past I’ve viewed it as a hobby. I can’t do that anymore.  It has taken me years to call myself a Photographer.  I used to say “I take photos on the side”.  I had a hard time putting value on myself as a photographer, because I was forever comparing my skills to others who have spent years on their craft. I compared my worst to their best.  It strips away the fact that we all grow as we work. We don’t start off great…the greatest things in life are those you work hard at.  It doesn’t come easy, and it’s not supposed to. I need to put value on my time because time is precious…this much I’ve learned over the past year.

I have to also add that 2010 wasn’t all bad.  There was a lot of happiness too and friendships found which grew through acceptance within the year.  And, as a dear friend pointed out to me, there was much laughter which came through the tears.  She also shared with me this quote: “The hardest place I’ve ever stood is the strongest place I’ll ever stand”.

I can’t wear a mask anymore, meaning I am focussed on just being who I am and learning to accept the good with the bad. Positivity doesn’t always come naturally to me, but I need to focus on the positive.  I need to feel pride. There will always be negative in everyone’s life…I know that.  But, last year I admitted to very few that I was struggling and that on many days I lived with a forced smile.  Why did I think I couldn’t be real with those that love me most?  When I finally did share some of my struggles with friends I felt close to, they also shared their struggles with me.  I don’t believe one should share everything with all, but we all have special people in our lives that we can share life’s challenges with.

I’m going to do something completely out of my nature (insert panic attack here).  A few days ago, I published this post.   https://reclaiminglife.wordpress.com/2010/12/29/new-year-new-state-of-mind/ It wasn’t a good day for me, I was dealing with a lot at the time. After I published the post, I accidentally clicked the “photo booth” icon on my Mac (it’s an application that takes your photo from the inner camera on the screen).  Without meaning to, I clicked the red button that takes your photo while I was attempting to close out of the application, and this is what I captured.

It shocked me that I looked so sad but I decided not to delete it as it truly captured how I was feeling at that exact moment…it wasn’t pretty, but it was real.

The whole reason I gained 90 plus pounds over the course of a few years is because I didn’t allow myself to feel that, I used food as comfort.  Now that I no longer use food in that way, I’m forced to feel it, have myself a little pity party and then move on.  I often turn to exercise to get me through the tough times, as there is no better way to deal with pain in a positive way. There is always good that comes out of the bad, but I can’t pretend that life is great all the time, because it’s not.  I will always have choices however, and to get through a year that carried with it a lot of sadness and come out of it with a lot of positive and the desire to live with a zest for life is something that fills me with gratitude.

Make no mistake about it, I will always look for the silver lining. I just need to allow those I love to see my weakness and struggles because that’s how you build authentic relationships.  You let the real in.  There is such freedom when you let go of the control over how other’s may or may not perceive you.  As another dear friend wrote on her status the other day “(she’s) going into this New Year being true to herself. You cannot move forward or build sustainable, worthy relationships of value if you start off on false pretences. She may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but at least you’ll know what kind of tea you’re getting.” Wonderfully put my friend, and you absolutely are my cup of tea.

Life is good to its core, but you have to fight to move forward sometimes.  You have to make choices towards the bigger picture of living a life of pride and happiness.  That is what this new year means to me, so I welcome it with open arms.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

New Year, New State of Mind.

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I’m editing a set of photos from the “Beauty from Within” project I shot before Christmas (click here if you wish to view the photos). It’s an amazing project where the girls are shown that the true measure of beauty comes from within.

As I was editing the photos, I realized that my frame of mind in regards to my own body image isn’t the greatest at the moment. Christmas was filled with amazing food!  I certainly had my fill and after days of over-indulgence I was down about it.  Guess what my friends, the amazing foods that accompany Christmas is a great part of life!

Balance.

I started back to my workout routine yesterday, but what I realized as I was trying to channel inner strength to finish a 5K run, is that my mind was clearing with ever laboured step I took.

I felt inner strength that had escaped me since my last workout. There it is…the power of a great workout, it just clears the mind!

During that workout, I had the clarity of mind to remember that with the New Year usually comes a panic to make resolutions and goals.  The trap that comes with New Year resolutions, is that they can be extreme and hard to maintain as part of a daily lifestyle.

With that said, this year I’m resolving to shift my focus to a state of mind brought to me by the amazing women and girls from the “Beauty From Within” project.

Beauty from Within.  It’s not about fitting into a pair of jeans, or worrying about bathing suit season as I have in the past.  For me, it’s about using exercise for clarity, inner pride, and peace of mind.  It’s about viewing food as fuel.  It’s about finding those things that bring pride and joy into my life.  A world of positive, I cans, and I wills. It’s about authentic relationships built on acceptance and support.

I also realized that little changes can produce big results if they are carried out consistently. It’s a lifestyle…meaning, it’s carried with you through out your life.

I would encourage you as the New Year approaches to take away the panic to lose “X” amount of pounds or to be a certain size so you can work on the outer appearance.  Instead, focus on using exercise and healthy eating to build up your pride and peace within.  Focus on the amazing balance that comes from positive changes that affect the three elements: Your Mind, Body, and Soul.   Enjoy the ride and the pride that accompanies each positive step forward to a healthy and happy life.

Progress, not Perfection.

Happy New Year from my Heart to Yours,

Christine

Respect, Empathy, and Understanding

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“You deserve very little credit for being what you are” Dale Carnegie

When I read this quote, it took awhile to sink in.

Let me start off with a story.  I was waiting for my Daughter at school a few weeks ago.  The day was unseasonable cold…-36 with wind chill if I remember right. My mind had wandered and was consumed with worrying about Dad’s surgery. I didn’t even notice when a Mom passed by me pushing a stroller along with her other (not happy) daughter whom she had picked up from school.  The reason I can tell you she passed by me is because I only noticed her after she said to me “thanks a lot for helping me with the door” in the most sarcastic of tones. She slammed the door behind her and huffed away with a trail of whirling snow in her wake.

At first I was taken aback. How dare she be so rude to me when I didn’t even notice her in my bewildered state!  Only moments later did I realize however, that I was preoccupied with worry, and perhaps she too was having a bad day.  I happened to be there at the height of her frustration.   I wish I could have found her after I had time to process it all, because I wanted to tell her “Forgive me for not noticing you, I was preoccupied.  I remember the days of fighting to get out the door with babies and running around. I hope your day gets better.”  Years ago, I would have thought that reaction was passive, but now I realize it’s because I understand her frustrations.

We are all a product of our environment: how we were raised, our past, our present, and the experiences that we have gone through, make us who we are today.  So to me, the quote above means just that.  I am also trying to not take things personally!  I don’t believe the woman would have been so sarcastic on a different day had she been in a different frame of mind.  Again, it’s releasing expectations on others.

Kindness, respect, empathy, and understanding go a loooong way.

I had two choices over that situation, I could have carried that annoyance home, or I could have tried to understand where she was coming from.  I believe most people just want to be heard, to have a voice, to be understood, and wish for others to empathize with their situation.  When someone vents to me, it’s rarely because they want a solution. Most often it’s because they want to be heard.  Another area that I need to work on is listening!  Truly listening.

The only way I see to avoid getting bogged down by daily annoyances is to not let them annoy you. Just let it go! Understand. Relate. Empathize.

Life is too short to be filled with anger.  It’s all about perspective.

Peace! 🙂

Wishing you a day full of understanding…from my heart to yours,

Christine

For the Love of Energy Givers

Published on by Christine6 Comments

There comes a time in life, when you realize what’s truly important, and it’s usually on the heels of a life-altering event.  I’ve also realized that one quickly forgets the lessons learned during these times when life goes back to normal.  So, I’m taking some time today to write them down so I don’t forget!

You are the one who allows people to treat you a certain way.  If you are being mis-treated, then you have the control to change it. Set some boundaries, and be honest.   This can be especially difficult for softy-people-pleasers like me.  So, I often have to decide if I’m doing something out of guilt, or because I truly want to.

I will no longer waste time on judgemental and negative people. I just won’t because time is precious!  I will focus all of my energy and heart on those that love me for who I am, and that give me the same as I give them…which is understanding, kindness, and support.  I do understand that I need to be a good friend to have good friends.  It’s not about me.  It’s about honest and authentic relationships, where I focus on giving more than I take.

Everyone has a different kind of energy they give off.   I believe that there are two types of people in life, energy-givers and energy-suckers.  I want to be an energy-giver and I try to be conscious of that as I used to be an energy-sucker! That sucks! I love energy-givers.  They make me smile and want to break out into spontaneous dance. I’m truly thankful for them!  There is no telling how much time we have left on this earth, so I want to make the most of it.  Why waste any of it on negativity?  A life full of joy and purpose is there for the TAKING!!! (that deserves three exclamations and an ALL-CAPS)

I may not always agree with other’s choices, but who am I to tell anyone how to run their lives?  It’s their life!  They are the one in control of it.  There is something very rare in finding a network of support who will hold you up when you fall and bring with them a spirit of accountability rather than judgement.  They make you want to be a better person, but it’s by way of example…in how they live their own lives, not in how they think others should live their lives.  I hope that makes sense because it’s a big ah-ha moment for me!  Accountability is different from judgement.

So for my girlfriends:

I don’t care what you look like.

I don’t care what your house looks like…in fact it would make me feel better if you didn’t clean it before I come over.

I don’t care if you are sporting pyjamas, yesterday’s hair do, and your mascara has made a run for it and travelled down your face.

I don’t care if you have a bad-mom day…we all have bad-mom days.

I don’t care if you don’t have a filter, it’s something I lack as well. We can both say inappropriate things at the wrong time.

I don’t care if you want to lose 10, 50,100, or 150 pounds.  I struggle with self-image often.

I don’t care if you are broke and can’t come out for a cocktail. Hopefully we can make time in our busy schedules that I can bring the cocktail to you. I will most likely bring it sporting pyjamas, yesterday’s hair do, and mascara that has made a run for it and travelled down my face.

There comes a time in life when you stop caring about what others think & you focus on the amazing people who are there without judgement & enjoy exactly who you are…as is. If I am there for my friends without judgement, then I should accept the same for myself. Isn’t that refreshing!?! Yup it is!

Tis the season for a Christmas Song…

From my heart to yours,

Christine

The Heart of Life

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“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin–real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a dept to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.” Alfred D. Souza

I’m so thankful for recent insights into life.  There were so many times I have waited for the next life step, not realizing I was missing out on the stage of life I’m in right now.  I get caught up in the busyness of life. The stuff that doesn’t matter in the end. All of that is just part of life, but the most important part of life is connecting with those you love.

It makes me sad that I forgot this important lesson until my father was diagnosed with cancer. I will tell you though that in the days since his diagnosis, I feel so blessed to have real conversations with my Dad.  Time just doesn’t seem to matter right now, where in the past we were always so rushed.  “Can’t talk long, I’ve got lots to do”.  I now tell him at the end of every conversation that I love him.  I’ve never really been good at expressing that to him.

I was always in such awe of my friend Trina’s family.  She would get a phone call from someone in her family, and she would say at the end “I love you so much” and when she saw them in person, she would give them a hug along with an “I love you”.  I asked her one day “Do you always tell your brother you love him every time you see him” to which she replied “Of course”.  My favourite thing about Trina is her big honest heart.

The people in your life that love you will be thankful when you show how much they mean to you, and it can be in little ways too.  A kind word, a hug, a run to Timmy’s for a coffee, a just-because card, a note left to find on the kitchen table. It all matters.  Life is about connection. It’s about savouring the little moments that shape a year.  I want my kids to have a childhood filled with “I love you’s” and they will never be too old to give me a hug (I have and will chase them down for one).

This is exactly the reason photography is so important to me. In the beginning I didn’t really know the type of photography I was going to specialize in. Family photography kind of chose me because I feel the importance and the respect within documenting that connection.

Life is all about choices, and to live a life with happiness and gratitude in your heart is absolutely a choice.  Looking back on my blog posts, each post is less and less about “weight loss” and more about life lessons.  However, it’s all connected. It’s the Mind, Body, and Spirit connection that shapes each of our lives and it’s in our control how each of those elements work together to create our own identity…not only the person we are within, but also the person we put out there to others.  We’ve been given one life, one body.  That’s a gift that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

Why is it we don’t appreciate our health until we are sick.  We don’t appreciate the summer until it’s winter, and the winter until it’s stifling hot. We don’t take the time to connect with loved ones until there’s no time left.  I know not everyone is like that, so forgive the blanket statement.  It’s just something that was on my heart.

Time is precious my friends. Life is precious.  Just because you feel something in your heart, doesn’t mean those important to you know that. Let it out! It’s completely freeing! lol

So next time you see someone you love, I would encourage you to show them that in whatever way you can.  I know men aren’t always good at showing how they feel, but I have to tell you as a daughter who was recently told by her father that I was missed and loved…it means the world and it absolutely matters.

From my heart to yours,

Christine


An Update on My Boggle from Ralph

Published on by Christine5 Comments

So in true Ralphy-ism (he messes up words all the time…it’s so funny), my father has asked me to update my “Boggle” with news regarding his health.

He chose to go with the surgery rather than the radiation, and his surgery is scheduled for January 5th, in Edmonton.  The Doctor wants him to undergo surgery as soon as possible and January 5th was the earliest available date…unless they have a cancellation.  He was told the type of Prostate cancer he has is fast-moving. Your continued prayers are greatly appreciated.

He also wanted you to know that his cattle drive went “101%”. He has never had this much help with a cattle drive in all of his life and he’s very thankful.

So from our family to yours, thank you so much for all the messages of encouragement, support, and most of all your prayers.

It’s a great reminder of the strength of the human spirit and how friends and family are always there for one another to lend support and a helping hand.  Life is good my friends.  Give your loved one a hug right now, and tell them how much they mean to you.  Life is precious and the love within a family is a gift.

A special thank you to Jason Robertson and Bill Walls who are raising funds and growing a mean Moustache for Movember in the fight against Prostate Cancer.  If you would like to make a donation, just click their names.

In this month of Movember which is devoted to Prostate Cancer awareness, my Dad is gearing up to Kick some serious Cancer Butt. 🙂

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Authentic Self

Published on by Christine6 Comments

I had the pleasure of having the most honest and real conversation with a friend recently where we discussed being Authentic.  I have to blog a bit of my thoughts before they escape my head! There’s an expiration date to these thoughts.  lol

Sometimes it’s scary putting yourself out there and having the courage to just be you.  However, in doing so you put out your Authentic self to others and it is then that you can build REAL, authentic relationships with those in your life.  Personally I would rather have a handful of authentic friendships, than many surface ones.  It took me awhile to learn though, that in order to build authentic friendships, I in fact had to be authentic and let my guard down.

Now, I may not be everyone’s cup-o-tea. Not everyone will appreciate my weird sense of humour, the fact that I get a kick out of Awkward hugging a complete stranger, or that I sometimes break out into spontaneous dance (which often looks a lot like a spasm of some sort).  And guess what…that’s OK.  I certainly don’t click with everyone I meet either.  Not everyone that comes into your life has to be your best friend.  Having said that, you can still build authentic relationships with those that are in your life.  I guess one just has to be OK with the fact you may not be accepted by all.

I was also reminded how important this is in the world of photography. I need the subjects of my photographs to let their guard down with me and just be exactly who they are.  Sometimes that means feeling vulnerable, and when there is a lens in your face, that can feel uncomfortable.  I have no interest in photographing the surface, I want to photograph what’s inside; that amazing vibe and inner spirit each of us carry within.  I have learned though, that in order to capture that, I need to give exactly what I want from them.  So, it means letting that guard down and not worrying if I look foolish in the process.

I have also noticed in the world of photography that there is a lot of elitism as is true in many professions.  It’s easy at times, to get trapped in envying others in your same field, but my path is not the same as theirs.  It feels good when a photographer I admire puts value on my work, but I’m not taking pictures for them. I do what I do for those I photograph. I want to be different. I want to have a point of view that is uniquely my own. I want to put out there exactly who I am as a photographer so I attract those who appreciate and connect with it.  I don’t believe you can get to that space if you don’t put your authentic self out there.  Do you agree?

I have been told in the past by women who become friends of mine, that they misjudged me on first meeting. I come off at times as stuck up, or unapproachable (I’m more of an awkward small talker). I’m trying hard to change that, but I’m not quite sure how.  It’s something I will have to continue to work on I guess.

There is this woman who I see at my daughter’s school everyday. She is confident and I can see where she would come across as intimidating. Today as she was saying hi to me, she fell off the curb as she walked and then she laughed at herself. That’s when I knew I liked her…the moment she fell off the curb and laughed it off.

As this is an area I struggle with, I would also like to encourage you as well to let your guard down along with me. Be authentically YOU.  Challenge yourself to let the REAL in within your relationships and move away from the surface stuff.  There are many women I have met that I enjoy hanging out with, but we never really move away from the surface stuff, so it’s difficult to build on a friendship if that’s the case.  Sometimes that’s OK, as I’ve said in the past, I believe there is a purpose for every single person that comes into my life.  Some are close friends, some are comic relief, some bring me peace…and yes, even the ones that have hurt me in the past are there for a reason. They teach me to cherish what I have, not to sweat the small stuff, and to value what’s important in life.

When you come to a point in your life where you need to lean on others for support, the surface stuff doesn’t matter. It’s all about your heart.

From my quirky, odd and awkward at times, but open heart to yours,

Christine

P.S. Thank you L.  You have the soul of an artist. You are one of the most authentic women I have had the pleasure of meeting.