Category: Moving Forward

Confessions of a Busy Mom Part Duh

Published on by Christine7 Comments

Hello again busy Moms.  I’m here to make another confession.

Read part 1 here. I especially enjoy all the amazing comments left by other Moms on that post.  Makes my heart happy!

I really am very thankful that I fail a lot!  Every time I fail and every time I struggle: I judge a little less and I become a little more humble.   I have realized the older I get, the more I appreciate surrounding myself with friends that refuse to judge me and take me just as I am, and in return I do the same for them.

Really, if you look at kids, they are programmed that way.  They love quickly, they forgive easily, and they accept others with only the slightest bit of common ground.

So, I am trying to adopt a child’s mindset and just do the best I can.  My kids love me unconditionally, and I love them more than my heart ever thought possible.

Onto my confessions….

My name is Christine. I am a Mom to three high-spirited kids.  I fail a lot as a Mom.

  1. I can’t seem to stay on top of my kid’s homework!  All three kids should be reading extra everyday and practicing their spelling.  However, there are 3 of them to keep up with and extra curricular activities to work in as well!!!  Some days I rock it out. I have their homework lined up, lunches made for the next day, and bags packed and ready by the door.  But some days (more often than not) I am running around in the morning looking for socks that match, refereeing fights that have broken out about who gets to read the cereal box while they eat, and finding lost library books.
  2. I curse!  I try to rein it in, but sometimes the only word that seems appropriate for the situation starts with a “Mother” and ends in an “Ucker”.  I have programmed myself not to curse in front of children, so don’t be scared to come over.  I may say it secretly inside my head though, especially if I stub my toe or break something.
  3. I do not enjoy dropper-inners because my house is rarely orderly.  I try my best not to obsess over what should be picked up, but as the dropper-inner talks to me, I’m scanning the room for all the things that could have been shoved away quickly had I had even a couple minutes of notice.  Sorry, that’s just how I roll.
  4. I love and cherish time alone.  I just do.  I think that’s why I enjoy working out at times all by myself.  I plug-in the earphones, and block out all the daily worries and just zone out. I’m able to focus on things I do have control over.  It’s a good thing.
  5. I don’t know what to do with papers.  All types of papers. Paid bills, kids drawings from school, newsletters, cards from loved ones…anything that resembles a paper. I just freeze up and put it in a pile to file. Only I never file.  It’s a problem.
  6. I think a woman’s hand can tell you a lot about them.  I often look at women’s hands to find out more about them when I first meet them.  If they have chewed nails, they may be a bit of a worrier.  If they have a nice set of gel nails, they have the patience to go in over and over to get them filled.  I have always wanted gel nails.  But I know myself well enough to realize that I will walk around obsessing about breaking a nail.  It’s ok, I admire every nice manicured hand I see (this has nothing to do with failing as a Mom…it’s just an observation.)
  7. I HATE putting away laundry.  I fold it, but don’t put it away.  My kids often pick the day’s clothes from the clean laundry basket.
  8. I often get lazy about making healthy suppers.  Sometimes it’s just easier to throw in nuggets, or pick up the phone to the nice people at Panda Hut.  The delivery dude knows my name and remembers that my daughter likes the free calendars they give out once a year.
  9. Sometimes I can’t wait until 5 pm to have a glass of wine.  I’ve deemed 5 o’clock as the social acceptable hour to have a cocktail.
  10. I love my family so much, but sometimes I pull away when I miss them to make it easier that I miss them and they are far away.
  11. I enjoy humour perhaps a little too much.  I often make inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times.  I’m sorry, it’s a defense mechanism.  It’s like I have a touch of tourrettes.  See, inappropriate joke.  Case in point.

Roll call to all busy moms, share a confession with a friend today or share one here!  We all have weaknesses, and we all fail in the Mom department.   Mom guilt really doesn’t serve a purpose, life is just a little easier when you can laugh about it with a friend.  We are all just Moms who love our kids unmeasurably and we try our best. Let’s give each other a break! 🙂

Tough Time Finding Words

Published on by Christine6 Comments

The story you tell about yourself becomes the life you live! If u want a different life begin telling a new story! #The Daily Love

I’m finally at a loss for words!!! ha ha   I never thought that would happen!

I recently attended the PPOC Exposure Photography Symposium.  It was an incredible week-end.  Each of the 4 days were filled with learning, connecting, and reflection.  There were 4 amazing speakers…check out their work if you are interested in photography (or even if you’re not!)  Chris Keating, Tyler Meade, Scott Robert Lim,  and Dane Sanders.

So why am I posting what I have learned at a photography symposium on my Reclaiming Life blog?

Because…

it

touched

my

heart

The mood in the room changed with each day we shared together and we became more of a community.  Dane Sanders was the speaker on the final day.  The tag line on his website reads “Discover what’s inside” and I now have a clear understanding that that is exactly what he does for the people he connects with .  From the start of the day he encouraged us to “go all in”, to commit (because opportunities pass!) and to participate in the discussion.   With each moment that passed, and with each person that had the courage to share their story, I could feel people letting their guard down.   I listened to others share why they got into photography.  Everyone has a story, and it touched my heart to hear each story that was shared.  Throughout the day, he also encouraged us to share a declaration if we had any sort of revelation after taking in all the info.

I did have a revelation, but sadly I did not have any plans to share it!   Wouldn’t you know it, my hand shot up before my mind caught up to it.  You see, I don’t speak in public…unless I have to (I’m taken right back to the 4H speaking days) so I guess my heart felt I HAD to share.

So here is what I realized that day.  While I can’t remember exactly what I shared because I was so emotional, it was something like this…

My name is Christine and I spent many years weighing 250 pounds.  For years I felt invisible and was scared to face my weight issue.  I woke up one day and decided to change my life.  I quit my job and spent a year working on myself.  There was a moment when I still weighed in the 200’s that I realized I was going to get to my goal weight.  There was no doubt in my mind.  I was going to do it.  I have realized that I still feel 250 pounds when it comes to my photography.

Along with these words came a steady flow of tears.  I shared that insight with 100+ other photographers in the room…most of whom I didn’t know, but who’s work I admire so much.  It was tough being vulnerable, but I felt completely safe sharing in that room and I was not alone in my tears.  There is something that happens when people let their guard down…you enter into a Real and Authentic relationship.

What came next after sharing my ‘lil revelation, was something I wasn’t prepared for.   I had a hard time taking it in.  Dane asked me to close my eyes while he shared uplifting words he saw within me.  I cried all the way through them.  Words like Strong and Inspirational.

You see, even though I no longer weigh 250ish pounds, I am stuck back there in my mind from time to time.  I KNOW what the scale says, and I can see that my clothes are no longer a size 20.  I can obviously see that, but my mind is often stuck back at 250.  It is the story that I’ve been telling my mind that is holding me back.

How does it feel to be stuck in that place?  It feels defeating.  It’s a place that lacks drive because fear comes first. It’s a place of self-doubt, “I can’t do it”, and maybe tomorrow.  Opportunities pass that should be pursued but I convince myself that taking risks isn’t worth the feeling of defeat if I fail.   Saying it out loud makes me realize how ridiculous it is to waste any amount of time in that negative place.

I  realized that the story I’ve been telling my mind is a lie and this lie has translated into choices in my life or rather lack of positive choices!   I am no longer holding back on living my life because of fear.  I have realized that by sharing both my struggles and successes that it gives others permission to share their story with me as well.  It brings forward relationships that are built on authenticity, honesty, and acceptance.

My story isn’t built on the foundation of fear because what starts in fear, ends in joy.

No more excuses.

No more waiting for positive things to come to me, I am going to just be positive.  I have learned that when you put positive out, positive will come in!

I have learned that it does make a difference when you take the time to lift someone’s spirit.

Some food for thought for your Friday:

What is the story you are telling your mind about yourself?

What would happen if we changed that story to one that is all about power, positivity, strength, and the unyielding drive to truly live the life we want!

What if we actually BELIEVED it to be true, and focused all our energies on all the things we are truly gifted at rather than the areas we struggle with?

Why waste any amount of time holding ourselves back from the dreams that are right there for the taking if we commit, go all in, and go after them?

From my heart to yours,

Christine

p.s. Thank you Dane! You have given me a gift that I plan on sharing with others.  Life is good.  🙂

Inspired

Published on by Christine1 Comment

Recently, I’ve managed to tap into an area where I want to push myself harder than I ever have before.  I was wondering where the change has come from, and then I realized it was because I am inspired by many people around me.  I am reminded once again how important it is to surround yourself with people who motivate and inspire you!  Inspire you to move forward, to push yourself beyond your limits, and just make you want to be a better person.

I’m inspired by a woman who I met at a gym. She is taking control of her life, and has spent the last couple years battling breast cancer (now in remission!)  She works out so hard, and does so with a smile on her face, and a heart that radiates such strength.

I’m inspired by women who have suffered such loss in life, but who still manage to move forward in life with the spirit of resilience and unyielding determination.  They fight for their children and keep the spirit of their loved one alive daily.

I’m inspired by my workout friends who push themselves a little farther each day and make working out fun.  They share a zest for life that is infectious and it just makes my heart happy to be in their company.

I’m inspired by all the people who have the courage to share their struggles, insecurities, and challenges with others.  There are so many times in my life I have lost my way, but it is comforting to know that there are others that struggle too!  We are not alone in our life struggles.

I’m inspired by women that help other women.

I also believe that you draw into your life exactly what you put out there.  If you are searching for inspiration, start with you…be inspiring! Always give more than you take.  With every life experience remember there is much to learn even if it’s painful or difficult.  What you are learning from each painful life experience will help someone else who crosses your path later in life.  There is no better joy in your heart than when you can give back something that was once taken from you.

I’ll leave you with a quote!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ” Nelson Mandela

I hope you find something that inspires you everyday, but what would be even better is to inspire others every beautiful day.  Now that is something to be inspired about!

From my heart to yours,

Christine

The Gift of Sight

Published on by Christine4 Comments

Sometimes in life, circumstances around you align with your own life and there are clear lessons to be learned.  Revelations arise that were always right in front of your face the whole time, but you just weren’t at a place to see them clearly.  Wisdom that you once heard takes on new meaning and you finally understand it.  I had these moments happen over and over to me in the last few days, and as it seems it’s happened to many special people in my life as well.  Although our experiences differ, is it a coincidence that we are all seeing life with a fresh new perspective?  I don’t think so.

People come into your life for specific reasons and at different points.  Some people come into your life to teach you how to…..

live

laugh at yourself

let go

appreciate life

Others come in to teach you how to….

be real

trust

 fail

get back up

And you are part of other’s life as well for the same reasons.

But, I believe that the only time that you truly learn is when you are ready to take off the blinders and look deep within.  I have spent much of my life stuffing things down, but eventually they will come to the surface. 

So, the most important life lesson I have seen in a new light this week is that I am the only one responsible for my actions, reactions, and attitude.  Until I stop blaming others around me for why I am unhappy, and take responsibility for my life, I won’t see the lessons to be learned that are right there for the taking.  There is no power that comes from waiting for others to change my life…from waiting for circumstances to change in order to make ME happy.  It’s all on me. 

I don’t think a person can fully understand that until they are ready and have come to that place of total acceptance that they must look inward for change.  The only person you can control is yourself. 

When you start taking responsibility for your actions, and take control of how you react to circumstances that happen in life…both good and bad…it’s only then that you can truly be free to heal and grow. 

I’m almost 7 years into reclaiming my life, and I’m just now beginning to understand this.  There is still so much to learn.  But the best part is, that I’m in control of keeping my eyes wide open and not just hearing about these life lessons…but actually LISTENING and APPLYING it all to my life.

I first saw this video when I was at a very low point in my life.  Even though one may view it as depressing, I find hope and wisdom within the lyrics and images.  The hope is the promise that I have control of my life the and knowledge is right at my fingertips if only I chose to listen.

My hope is that you and I will see life with open eyes without the cloud of blame, resentment, or doubt.  Not everyone will understand where you are coming from and that’s OK as they haven’t walked in your shoes.  It’s like when someone that doesn’t have kids yet tries to tell you how to raise your own.  They just don’t understand that which they haven’t lived.  I hope that makes sense to someone else!  It’s a hard one to articulate. 🙂

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Balancing Act

Published on by Christine9 Comments

The pursuit of happiness in life must come with balance.  There has to be a balance and peace found in all areas of life. 

Balance between…

~work and play

~devotion and letting go 

~focussing and relaxing the mind

~indulging and denying

I have come to realize that finding this balance is difficult.  I feel pulled in different directions at times and lose track of the simplest truth…that life is good and happiness is found from within!  I have also realized that whatever path I take…in this case the area of living a healthier lifestyle…it must be one that I can stay on for the rest of my life.  So with every Yin, there is always a Yang.  There has to be. 

Sometimes finding balance means you have to take some time to really focus on change.  Change is scary, but necessary to move forward.   With every scary life experience there is so much to learn about yourself and life.  Be present in that knowledge and don’t let it pass you by.

Don’t beat yourself up when you aren’t getting the results you think you should be.  Focus on the changes that are happening in your life.  Because if you truly change, results have to happen.  It’s inevitable. 

Positive in, Positive out (and vise-versa)!

Personally, I don’t want to live a life that is wrapped up in guilt when I do indulge. Because life is meant to be enjoyed and savoured.  I have clear goals in place. They are tangible and achievable, but must also be sustainable in the end. 

I am truly thankful for recent insights into life.  I am also thankful for friendships that are built on true acceptance, love, and support.  It’s important to surround yourself with a support system that not only brings you up when you are down, but who will also challenge you when life gets confusing and you have lost your way.

I recently had a moment of total self-acceptance and while I’ve had these little moments before, they are usually few and far between. 

As I stood in the mirror picking apart my flaws as I do from time to time, I actually stopped myself and accepted the fact that I’m flawed and imperfect and it brought a huge smile to my face.  Who isn’t?!

I looked up imperfect in the dictionary.  It means “lacking completeness”.  I am complete, so I’m going to drop that one. 🙂

I hope you find balance in all areas of your life, and that peace will come to you as a result.  Surround yourself with support, love, and always give more than you take.

From my ever-expanding heart to yours!

Christine

Shifting Focus

Published on by Christine5 Comments
‘Focus on what’s working in your life, the positive stuff. For that which you focus on and think about the most is actually what manifests in your life.’ Dr. Christiane Northrup
 
I believe this whole-heartedly.  There is so much in life that is out of our control.  But we can control our attitude, thoughts and most importantly actions that bring about amazing positive changes in life. 
Sometimes it’s difficult to understand why our lives stay on the same course.  I was talking to a friend who didn’t understand why she wasn’t losing weight because she was so active and busy throughout her day.  Her body is used to that level of exercise and activity.  You have to change things up and add more activity to bring about different results.  This is true in life as well.  If life has stayed on that same course for you and you are wondering why the changes haven’t come about, it’s because nothing has changed!  It’s the same.  The same actions and thoughts.  The same way of reacting to circumstances. 
Bringing in a New Year is a great thing to inspire change and welcome NEW experiences into your life.  The mind is just a little more open with the promise of a new fresh year.   I have realized that my life took the best course when I focused on the positive, and let go of the negative and the judgements of others.  Every experience in life comes with an opportunity to learn from it.  It’s up to you what you do with that knowledge. 
Focus on the good.  The powerful. The positive. The uplifting. The joy. The new knowledge.

And run with it…

From my heart to yours,
Christine

Last Day of 09

Published on by Christine3 Comments

We had a great Christmas and I’m ready to welcome in 2010.  I went into this Christmas with a better outlook on my food choices.  It’s Christmas, there is no need to worry about the calories consumed on such a magical day.  There has to be balance, and part of that balance comes from removing guilt when you do allow yourself to enjoy foods that are thoughtfully prepared by those you love or that you have spent hours preparing.

I feel like I have taken an important step forward in finding balance.   Living a healthy lifestyle is all about balance: finding exercise you love to do and finding a new relationship with food.  I never thought I would ever say I love to exercise, but the feeling after I’m done working out is amazing.   I always walk away with a smile and a clear mind.  It’s the BEST feeling.

Most New Years are brought in with new resolves.  I’m not doing that this year. I’m going to enjoy the ride and all that I’ve learned about life this past year.   I’m looking forward to a fresh new year with new possibilities and opportunities to grow further.  It’s a blessing that I get to continue on this path with a great big smile 🙂

Happy New Year to you all!  Do you have new resolves and goals for your New Year?

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Snow Day

Published on by Christine2 Comments

I’m taking advantage of this snow day. I have the fireplace on, coffee cup in hand, and my Christmas music is on my play list.  There is something about the first big snow fall of the year, to bring the Christmas spirit into a person’s heart.  I was talking to a friend on the phone this morning, and she has me thinking.  Nothing is black and white, and every one’s journey is different.  What ties us all together is the spirit of resilience and hope. 

What I’m left thinking about is how strong she is and how bright her spirit is. I don’t think she sees that.  If only we could see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us most.  If only we could see how much our journey can help others who are on a similar path. If we could let down the walls and reach out for support, which in turn can only help others.

So here’s a bit of random thoughts that came to me as I curled up on my couch with my hot cup of coffee.  These are just my opinions! I appreciate that we are all at different stages in our lives and I have so much to learn. 🙂

1. The only person you can control is you.  You can’t control the actions of those around you. There is just YOU and there is something very freeing and powerful in that knowledge. It puts the responsibility for happiness in life squarely on our own shoulders and releases the expectations we put on others.

2.  Your thoughts shape your day.  The power of the mind to bring about hope, joy, and success is amazing.  Tap into those areas that bring you the most joy, but allow yourself to feel the pain, the loss, and the grief.  We grow through adversity, and you can not truly experience the light without also experiencing times of darkness as well.  That’s when you truly appreciate the light of hope.

 3.  We truly do not know the strength that lies within our soul.  It’s there for the taking if only we wouldn’t convince ourselves that it’s impossible.  Allow the spirit of positivity and joy into your life, and give no power to the negative.  That negativity is just lies that we allow in and prevent us from moving forward.

4. Life is meant to be lived with pride and joy.  Remind yourself often of your goals. Write them out on sticky notes and put them up where you can see them every day.  Shape your daily choices around the goals you’ve set out.

5. Be good to yourself! There is no power to be found in being down on yourself.  It creates a cycle of negativity and you deserve so much good in your life.

6. I’m a Mom, and I often forget that my kids are watching me and learning about life through my eyes. I want them to see life in the best way possible.  They deserve to have a happy Mom that is excited about life and that will raise them in that zest and respect for a life full of hope and promise. 

7.  Give yourself permission to let go of others expectations, judgments, and opinions.  They haven’t walked in your shoes. 

8. We can be the most positive thinker in the world, but without action it’s pointless.  You also have to figure out “Why” you are striving for a certain goal.   Being a certain size really isn’t a goal. Why are you setting out to be a certain size? Do you think your issues will fade away once you are a size ____?  I’ve gone through that, and speaking from my experience, the same issues follow you no matter what size you are.  I finally figured out that my goal is to live an authentic life full of joy and purpose.  Taking care of myself through exercise, eating right, sharing, and finding joy in the little things bring about changes that allow me to keep the weight off.  But without action, the results can’t possible come to fruition.  I need to put in the work which does more for my mind and spirit than it does for my body.

Well, that’s about all for now.  Happy snow day for those in my area (I hear there are many with no snow out their windows). 

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Purpose

Published on by Christine11 Comments

I have had a few revelations this week.  I’m not sure I can put them into words, but I will try!  I struggle with my body image, but when I really think about it, a more accurate statement would be that I struggle with my self-image.  I often lose who I am and who I want to be/my goals.

I was thinking back to 2002, back when I weighed close to 250 pounds.  I was a shell of a person. I wanted to fade away into the background, away from the judgements of others.  I realize today that it really had nothing to do with the opinion of others, but rather my own opinion.  I didn’t love who I was.  I knew I had it in me to be the person I wanted to be, but I had so much self-loathing that I couldn’t move forward.  

What changed for me?  I took one little step forward.  One step towards treating myself well.  A step that was for me and no one else.  Those little steps took over, and I started feeling pride in myself; something I had really never felt before.  I wasn’t living up to my potential and I had no idea what my potential was. I stayed in this little “I can’t do it” bubble…never challenging myself for fear of failure.  What I didn’t understand, was my self-loathing was attached to the knowledge that I was failing myself everyday I stayed on that couch and with every bit of bingeing on the wrong foods that I did.

I have been struggling recently with what my purpose is.  And, the feelings that I felt those years ago came back.  I realized it has nothing to do with what I weigh. It’s how I’m feeling inside.  I’ve felt that same self-loathing lately.  Why? Because I am not honouring my goals.  My focus has shifted. I am not proud of myself. 

When you can get up in the morning and look yourself in the mirror and feel pride for what you are doing in life, there is no better joy.  I have spent the last little while, down on myself and there is no power to be found when you are in that place.  As a mom, wife, photographer, etc. I have put everyone else first and have avoided taking care of myself. I have avoided relationships that are important to me because I feel like I am failing.

So, I know the root of many of my food/exercise issues start in my heart. I need to love myself, and remind myself daily of my goals.  I need to focus on my purpose in life. I need to be proud of who I am.  I feel my purpose is to help others that are stuck in this same place. It’s what fuels my desire to move forward as well.  I need to feel that I am giving back all that I had taken for granted in life. I want to share joy where I had once found little.  I can see so much power, but also deep hurt within so many people who are also struggling and have lost who they are.  I can see it so clearly, their bright beautiful spirit, and my wish is that they could see it too.  

My favourite quote.

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.” George Bernard Shaw

I need to love who I see in the mirror.  I feel fortunate that I have found the path that can make that a reality if only I would take a moment and honour my goals and take action.  To be thankful and live my life through gratitude and true joy for life and all it has to offer.   There is true power in living a life of joy, purpose, and gratitude.

I recently started a “Reclaiming Life” group on facebook.  It has been a great source of motivation and inspiration for me and I hope for others as well.  It’s an open group, so if you feel it can help you move forward, please join in!  Finding a support network is so important.  Sometimes it’s not easy admitting that we need help from others, but the support is there for the taking. 🙂

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=179437799538

From my heart to yours,

Christine