Tag: Family

10 Things I Would Tell the Old Me

Published on by Christine2 Comments

Eight years ago on May 19th, I reached my goal weight.  It took a long time to get the 90+ pounds off, so that day was a pretty special one.

Every year I take a comparison shot because it keeps me motivated and it also allows me to look back into the eyes of the former me who didn’t believe in herself.

10 Things I Would Tell the Old Me (on life and having fun while maintaining goal weight)

I learned a lot this year.  What used to work in the earlier years to maintain my weight wasn’t working anymore.  My body adapted to the same exercise and food choices. I had to change-up my program and I quickly realized I needed help. I hired a kick-ass trainer; my beautiful friend Shannon. She created a strength program for me, and I was able to focus on strength training with her in the gym and cardio at home.  It took weeks to visually see any difference; it’s an exercise in patience I tell ya! However, I did feel results quickly…I was able to lift more weight and do more reps. My cardio improved too, I was able to run my 5K in a faster time once I was focusing on a leg strength day with core work too. Most importantly, I learned I can do a workout anywhere with very little equipment. No excuses.

As for the eating part of the equation, I had to completely change that as well.  Again, I felt out of control in that area so I joined in a Nutritional Challenge through BMS Bootcamps which I’m half way through.  I’m learning so much about food choices, and the true meaning of “eating clean”.  I realized I’m addicted to sugar! I was eating 100 calorie snack bars which were loaded with sugar and eating cereal every morning that was also very high in sugar (and often as a bedtime snack).  Once I cut back on the sugar, I got off the roller coaster of blood sugar crashes I used to have. I added more healthy fats into my diet as well. I have a sustained level of comfortable fullness by eating 5 times a day and enjoying natural foods. I don’t have the cravings for certain foods I used to have. My taste buds changed and I actually enjoy foods that I didn’t like before. Eating clean has been a gift in that I have more energy, my skin has cleared up, and my hair is growing fast too. Huh?! Good stuff. I have enjoyed cheat meals as well! Everything in balance.

The other day on my run I was thinking about that photo of me from 10 years ago. As crazy as this sounds, it’s as though it’s not even a photo of me but rather of a close friend. I feel sadness and empathy for the old version of me. It’s not about the aesthetics, but rather what I see in my eyes and what I know was in my mind. I see pain, frustration, the urge to stay home and not face people, loneliness, fear.  I had given up on myself and I didn’t believe my future was in my control. Feeling out of control everyday is no way to live. I didn’t understand the pride that comes from pushing myself both physically and mentally and how that transfers in a positive way to other areas of life. I was uncomfortably numb. That photo was taken just a few days before I made the decision to take control back and reclaim my life. So if I was to run into the old me in my life today, here’s what I would tell her…

10 things I would tell the old Me

1. You are going to have to do a lot of trial and error to find what works for you.  Not everything will work, you will try many things that don’t work. You will get to know your own body and metabolism, so trust yourself enough to listen to what your body needs and don’t panic when you need to reassess. Chill out chicky!

2. The most important thing you can do as you age is to add weight training into your program. By adding muscle you will burn calories at rest and there is no better exercise medium than strength training to test yourself and feel success quickly.

3. Don’t overcomplicated things.  Use cardio to burn calories, use strength training to build muscle which also burns calories at rest (replace the expanding fat with dense muscle), fuel your body with whole foods…healthy fats, lean proteins, fruits, veggies, nuts, whole grains.  Eat often so you are never famished. Sleep 8 hours. Drink at least 12 glasses of water a day. Crank up your music and dance. Repeat.

4. Challenge yourself each and every day in some way. That voice that creeps in and tells you that you can’t is lying.

5. There is power in the vulnerability of sharing. Do not hold back sharing what you’ve learned simply because you are fearful of what other’s think of you. Like-minded people attract one another, and that can only happen when you live out loud.

6. Don’t give up when you don’t see results in the time frame you want. It took years to get to this point, you aren’t going to change over night. One step at a time grasshopper. 😉

7. Listen to your inner voice that knows what is best for you. Pay no attention to what others tell you that you “should” do. They don’t know your inner struggles, only you do. Sure another person can lose the weight while restricting calories, that doesn’t mean you should too. Slow and steady wins the race. Your goal is fitness, the weight will drop off in the process.

8. Start your journey by journaling your food, that way you can’t “pretend” you don’t know what you are eating. Knowledge is power; however, try not to be all-or-nothing which only ends in loss of control. Enjoy a cheat meal once and again. Balance is important. You won’t always have to journal your food, but if you find that you are slipping in your food choices, that trusty journal is a powerful way to get back on track.

9. If you have a bad eating day, recognize it as just that…one bad day with a clean slate the next. Get back on track and don’t beat yourself up about it.

10. This one is important: HAVE FUN!!! Don’t be so serious, this is a lifestyle for the rest of your life…so you better make it fun. Ride your bike, dance-walk, high-five a stranger, shake your ass, takes 10,000 steps a day and put a ‘lil attitude into it, don’t go one day without laughing, get outside with the kids (by the way old version of me, you’re going to have some pretty amazing kids who are going to make all of this totally worth it)

From my heart to yours,

Christine

P.S. If you are on your own weight loss journey and want some pretty cool resources to help you out, check them out HERE

I Invited the Past to my Supper Table

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I’ve started re-reading “Women Food and God” by Geneen Roth. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend it.

As I was thinking about the chapter I just read, I had a pretty major ah-ha moment.  When I was growing up on the farm, we often ate our meals around the harvest schedule (and often off the tail-gate of the truck in the field). For some reason, I remember rushing to eat…often. I was also told I should eat every bite on my plate and if I did, I was praised.

Even today, my mind believes I should eat quickly and to finish every single bite. This isn’t working for me!  Because I’m eating too quickly, my mind can’t catch up to my stomach signalling when I’m full.  I’m learning…again…to eat slowly and with intention.

I’m not writing this post to place blame on my hard-working Mom for my eating habits! I’m writing this post because today I realized I do the same thing to my own kids! I rush their meals because I’m done so quickly. I could be making meal time an opportunity to visit and become more connected as a family, yet I’m rushing the process from eating to clean up.  I also encourage my kids to eat everything on their plates, rather than asking that they eat until they are full. Hmmmm, in the words of my Dad “Holy Doodle”.  I’m going to change this.

And because no post is complete without some sort of visual, here’s my kids serenading me while I cooked supper…

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Just another life lesson that sneaks up and bites me in the nose…

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Confessions of a Closet Eater/Part-Time Health Nut

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I’m a determined health nut until about 4 p.m. and then the wheels start falling off the healthy bus. In the midst of the rush of supper/homework/bath time/bed time/kid’s needing things/I need a dozen cupcakes for bake sale tomorrow…I turn from calm & zen to frazzled and tuned out. I lose my focus. As a result I’m not mindful of my eating.

Here’s the deal: I consistently exercise 4-6 times/week, I eat healthy foods, but I’m also an emotional eater. There are many terms for it: Over-eater, closet eater, binge eater, emotional eater. Those are just labels for an internal struggle that I’ve had for as far back as I remember (as early as 5 yrs old).

I know I’m not alone in this struggle, it’s just not easy to talk about nor to admit. It’s embarrassing (which is why there’s a term “closet eater”).

This isn’t a new pattern of behaviour for me, but it is one that through the years I’ve had varying degrees of control over. Even though I have lost the weight, the world of maintaining is one that is similar to the world of losing in that it takes diligence. I have to stay tuned in, even when I want to tune out.

That’s a tricky scenario for an emotional eater like me, because when there is stress in my life, my instinct is to turn to food.  Believe me, over the years I’ve over-analyzed this phenomenon to death.

If the formula for long-term weight loss was to simply eat less, move more…then there wouldn’t be such an obesity problem in our country. Yes, that’s a big part of the formula for losing and maintaining; however, it’s so much deeper than that. What works for one person, doesn’t necessarily work for another. I believe self-reflection is key. Everyone has some sort of struggle within their lives, whether it’s financial, within relationships, etc. My issue with weight happens to be more visual than perhaps another’s struggle. It makes me feel misunderstood when I hear the words “overweight” and “lazy” used in the same sentence. I can assure you that through out my life, my struggle with my weight has nothing to do with being lazy.

As I approach my 8 year anniversary of being at my goal weight, I’m still finding ways to deal with emotional eating. So what am I going to do about it? The same thing I’ve had to do every time I’ve realized I need to deal with life in a different way…

“We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.” Henry Cloud

For every problem, there is a solution that will work if you figure out your personal triggers and you focus on your goals.

My 10 Steps to Combat Emotional Eating 

1. Journal what I eat. I’m too proud to write one bag of M&M’s 😉  Lucky for me, technology is way better than the days of carrying a binder around with me. There are lots of great apps that track eating and exercise.

2. Pay attention to how I’m feeling when I get the urge to eat when I’m not actually hungry. Eat with intention. Eat slowly (so my brain catches up to my stomach signalling when I’m full). Actually taste the food I’m eating (the texture, the flavour). Minimize distractions around me. This means no eating away from the kitchen table.

3. There are two types of triggers for me: Emotional and Food related. It’s important for me to realize what my triggers are and then to minimize those triggers. Emotional triggers can come in the form of relationships, sometimes I have to pull back from situations and relationships until I can get back on track. The food related triggers come in the form of certain foods that make me want to eat more and more. These are foods with little nutritional value and are high in sugars. I would never binge on apples. 😉

4. Remember that momentum goes 2 ways! As fast as I can feel like I’m spiralling out of control, I can just as easily take the steps to get back in control and follow that positive momentum into each meal and then into each day.

5. There’s a quote I often think about: “Comparison is the thief of joy” Theodore Roosevelt.  It’s difficult not to compare my progress with another’s; however, we are all different and our goals are different too.  The only person I should compare myself with is the old version of me.

6. Look at food in a positive way: Food is fuel, it is not for comfort. I have to look at my daily food intake like an allowance so that my relationship with food is one of sustenance. I give my kids their allowance and it’s up to them what they spend it on. They can spend it on quality items, or waste it. That’s how my food allowance is.  To maintain my weight loss, I must eat within a certain amount of calories. I can eat more calories if I add more activity to my day which is awesome. Exercise is important to this equation! I want to spend my allowance on foods that are high in nutritional value. I don’t want to waste it on foods that are low quality and that trigger the desire to eat more, and more. These types of foods for me are (my lovely triggers): Theatre popcorn, milk chocolate, and nachos.

7. Drink more water, at least 8-10 glasses a day. This flushes the toxins and salt out of my body and as an added bonus makes skin glow too.

8. Grocery shop once a week so my fridge is always full of fresh fruits and vegetables. Try not to shop hungry, that never goes well. lol

9. Take the well-meaning wishes and words of advice from others with a grain of salt. When I was obese, people would tell me how to lose the weight. Now that I’m at my goal weight I’ve been told that I focus too much on food and exercise, which is 100% true! I will tell you what happens when I’m not diligent with my food and exercise, I gain weight. That’s just how it is! Sometimes that pisses me right off that I have to be so diligent; however, I refuse to gain back 90 pounds. So yes, I focus on my food and exercise every day and that’s ok. 🙂 I try to do so in a positive way.

10. Be always mindful of what my goals are. Sometimes I write them on sticky notes where I see them everyday.  My goal is to be healthy, strong, and fit with balance. My goal is not a certain number on the scale. I need to align my actions to fit into that goal. I am then successful every time I eat a piece of fruit, loads of veggies, healthy proteins, each time I exercise. This also translates into my interactions with those I love. Being healthy encompasses relationships, friendships, family time. It all goes together to build a happy and healthy Mom which my kids need.

Now it’s time to get to work…

On my reading list (again): Women Food and God

A must watch for all Women:

Thanks for reading what was actually really tough to publicly share. The reason I shared it today was because of a conversation I had last week with a wise friend.  We discussed closet eating and she shared with me that this is an issues she knows many women struggle with. Even if we think we are in that closet all alone. 😉

I hope something I shared here will help another move forward. I know I’m ready to move forward.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

How My Little Girl Taught me a Lesson in Love

Published on by Christine3 Comments

I found this ‘lil gem in the bottom of my daughter’s backpack.

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It says…

I like Me (by Tessa)

I like my mouth, it helps me to eat.

I also like my eyes, it helps me to see.

I like my legs, it helps me swim.

I like my hands, it helps me fish.

I like my knees, it helps me move.

I teared up while reading it because I adore how she thinks. She’s loving her sweet little self for all the ways her body allows her to do the things she loves.

It also reminds me of the importance of being the example of a woman who loves herself because I am the woman she sees every day and looks up to. I want…no I need her to carry on this positive mind-set as she grows up.

A while back, I asked my facebook friends a question on my status: Would it concern you if you gave your child a compliment and they returned your compliment with a flippant self-deprecatory remark?

Of course it would concern me, I would be shocked my son or daughter didn’t understand what a remarkable human being they are! Yet, in thinking about it, the reason I asked that questions is because I do that often when someone pays me a compliment. More often than not, I will respond with some sort of remark that depreciates the compliment they just gave me. To be the example of self-love for my children, I need to reply in the very way that I would expect them to reply. Think about it, how do you handle compliments? Our children are always learning from our actions.

Raising my kids with healthy self-esteems starts with me! I need to prove through my actions that I love myself. I need to respect and appreciate my body for all the activities I have the freedom to do because I have my health. It’s not about aesthetics, the outside, the packaging. My focus can not be on that, I have to show through my actions why this way of life is so important to the quality of my life. It’s about showing love to the body I’ve been given, it’s not a “diet” or a number on a scale or a size of clothing.

I want to teach my children these simple truths and to do that, I need to back up my words with actions:

  • Regular exercise and eating healthy, natural, whole foods full of colour & nutrients are ways you show love and respect to your body. It’s like putting premium fuel into your car. Living a healthy lifestyle is the key to vitality! We are only given one body, treat it well.
  • Happiness is found through purpose. You need a purpose that enriches and fuels your heart with passion. Where there is passion, there is happiness.
  • Life is all about balance! If you seek a life of balance between work/play, friends/family, solitude/companionship, indulgence/moderation…you will find inner peace. Embrace the Yin/Yang! There will always be times in your life when you are pulled too much in one direction. No big deal, just redirect yourself.
  • Focus on how you feel. If you are making positive life changes to better yourself or your circumstances so that you grow and move forward, don’t be discouraged if the results aren’t coming as fast as you would like them. Soak up how these positive changes make you feel. There is great success when you feel pride. That makes you successful with every positive step you take.
  • Surround yourself with good people who lift you up, support you, and make you laugh! To attract quality people and authentic friendships to your life, you have to be that exact friend to others. Positive out, positive in (positive out comes first). Just be authentic, then you will get to know people who are the same level of “weird” as you are. 😉
  • Lighten up! We are designed to laugh, love, share, support, encourage, learn, move! Focus on the good stuff, the happy stuff, the stuff that makes your heart skip a beat with joy. Because life is supposed to be fun! Look at kids for example, they are happy little people! Somewhere along the line, we adults take life too seriously. I hope to always be young at heart. 🙂

So the next time someone pays you a compliment, simply say Thank You. Take that compliment as it was intended, to lift you up and to remind you that you are one incredible human being who is well-loved. Spread the love, lift up another with sincere appreciation. Let’s show our kids what it is to love ourselves a ridiculous amount (just as much as our friends & family love us) because when you truly love yourself, you value yourself far too much to make silly choices. And THAT’S what I want for my children.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Why I’m Ridiculously Ridiculous

Published on by Christine2 Comments

I realize my last blog post was in October of last year. I have created 6 drafts since then and I hit publish on none of them.

Since October, I have however managed to figure out what doesn’t work for me in the equation to maintain my healthy weight.

There are many ways to lose weight and keep it off, for me personally it’s an equation. If one part of that equation is missing, it just doesn’t work.

Here it is…

1. Eat healthy, well-balanced meals filled with raw vegetables, fruits, lean protein, and whole grains. Follow the 80/20 rule. I am on-track with my meals 80% of the time. The other 20% of the time, I’m not so stringent. I enjoy suppers out with friends. I eat until I’m full. No need to scrape my plate clean! I need the freedom to enjoy a thoughtfully prepared meal in a nice restaurant without guilt. I just do.

2. Stay active with purpose: Cardio + Strength Training.  It needs to be activity that I enjoy and this requires music turned up as loud as it will go. Make it count. If I only have a 1/2 an hour to workout, I better make it worth it. If my face isn’t bright red and sweat isn’t pouring, then I’m not working hard enough.

3. This is the most important part of my equation: My mindset. I must look at staying healthy and fit as a lifestyle. The word “Lifestyle” means for Life and to do so with style. 😉 Not for a month, or a week, or a day, but for always.  As long as I’m physically able to move, damn it…I will.  I must look at this lifestyle as a gift. Because it is.

Now let me explain how I’ve failed in my equation for the last few months, specifically in the Mindset area.

I’ve had a little pity party for myself that has lasted far too long. I haven’t been too far off on the eating and exercise part of the equation (given I will always enjoy the foods that come along with Christmas); however, I’ve had a piss poor attitude about it.

~Insert spoiled brat face here~

My inner dialogue was one of defiance:  Why do I have to continue to watch everything I eat, exercise 5 times a week just to maintain my healthy weight when I know many people who are blessed with a much faster metabolism who can skip work outs and eat french fries and still weigh the same.

Guess what? I am ridiculously ridiculous folks.

Here’s why. My sister (who once was a track star in her teen years) has Multiple Sclerosis and I don’t.

If I have the ability to run, move, make healthy food choices for myself, then why am I angry about it? My health is my responsibility alone. No one can or will make those choices for me.  If I decide (and yes, it’s a conscious decision) to make unhealthy choices and destroy the healthy body that I’ve been given…wouldn’t that be so sad? What a waste. I get that choice when others, such as my beautiful, full-of-life, track-star sister had their choices ripped away from them. Do I actually think my sister would complain about exercising daily? Would she moan about getting into her car and driving to the grocery store to pick out fresh produce? Would she be annoyed that she has to prepare her own fresh salad?

I will tell you one thing I know, if my sister could be given my body for one day, she would put me to shame. She would fit more life, activity, connection, and joy into a 24 hour span, than I do in months. I took the time to think about that which was an uncomfortable feeling. You need to feel the uncomfortable and the pain. You need to sit in it, bathe in it, take a walk with it, let it sink right in to truly understand the changes your life requires to reach your goals. You need to change the way you think about life.

Yes my friends, I am ridiculously ridiculous. I’ve used “things” so that I don’t have to feel uncomfortable. I’m stripping that away.

I am full of gratitude and thanks for this healthy body I have. I will treat it with respect. I will feed it the foods it was meant to be fuelled with. I will wear a smile as I run. Because it’s a gift. Anything short of treating it that way is insulting…especially to those who struggle with their health.

I’m not sure if I’ve articulated my thoughts as clearly as I’d hoped. I want to encourage you to get up and get active if you are lucky enough to be able. I want to challenge you to think about the belief systems that are not serving your life in a positive way. To think about the lies you tell yourself that enable you to stay in a pattern of behaviour that make it impossible for you to reach your goals. That is not your truth.

We do not have to settle for mediocre effort. We do not have to settle for just getting by. When was the last time you pushed yourself out of your physical comfort zone? Do not compare your progress to another’s. You just have to ask yourself: Did I push myself today? Can my body do more than it did the last week? Am I getting stronger? Is my endurance improving the more I push?  That is what matters. That is what will allow you to feel the joy of success.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

The Biggest Responsibility of a Parent

Published on by Christine4 Comments

Here in Canada, we just celebrated Thanksgiving.  Status updates of thankfulness flooded my facebook news feed. Posts about family, love, and happiness were abundant. I spent a wonderful week-end with my family.  All the people I met while out and about in preparation for a week-end of food and family were full of joy. The spirit of Thanksgiving had touched everyone I crossed paths with.

It was rainbows, unicorns, and butterflies…at least for a little while. Until the week after Thanksgiving came and I could only wonder if there was a full moon.

Some angry dude cut me off in traffic.

A message of hate popped up within a group supporting Children’s hopes and dreams. To be honest my first thought was “You sir, are an ass hat.” I tried to reply with tact in the face of such hatred and ignorance.

My facebook feed of thanksgiving was replaced with a handful of rants and complaints.  Not many, but just enough to make me want to shut down my account in annoyance. I have so much to be thankful for…we all do. The freedom of expression and of speech, a warm house to live in, and food in my belly. The fact I’ve struggled with my weight all these years is a clear indicator of just how lucky I have been to have a fridge stocked with more food than I need.

My daughter came home in tears because a girl in school called her fat. Again.

I could list more examples, but it doesn’t matter. You get the point.

As I was wondering what is wrong with people, a thought came to mind “Who are these people’s parents? How is it they don’t know how to treat others with respect?”  The answer to this question, and the responsibility for this issue flooded my heart. I realized that I hold the key to the solution.

Because I AM A PARENT.

One thing I’ve learned through raising three kids, is that they are born pure of heart. They learn their behaviour based on their environment.  Kids are giving, loyal, loving, and accepting.  They play hard, dream big, and love with no limits.

We as parents have a responsibility my friends.  Among the many responsibilities we shoulder, above all we need to teach our children to be kind, patient, loving, and giving. We need to show them how to put the needs of others before our own, to help our neighbours, our friends, our family, and yes…even strangers too.

As I was deep in thought, I challenged myself with these questions: Am I the example my children need of a person who shows others love and kindness?  Are they learning these important lessons at home?  It’s not enough for me to explain kindness to my kids, I need to show my children through my actions.

Actions speak volumes, and repetition of action breeds habit. Acts of kindness will be engrained within them like rings on a tree. It’s effortless because it becomes who they are as people. Given the environment of generosity and selflessness, little people with big hearts mature into grown ups with giving hearts.

I wanted to share this with you today not to imply that you aren’t raising your kids right, but rather to encourage you to show love to others in ways that your children will replicate. Our children are watching us.

I am humbled by today’s revelation, and I will put these thoughts into actions to make sure that I am an example of kindness that my children desperately need to in turn show kindness and acceptance to others.

I may not be able to change the world, but I can affect the way my three amazing children view this world. I can teach them to give and in turn they will make this beautiful world a better place not just for themselves, but for those around them who need their support and love.

It’s not enough to be kind to those we love. Anyone can do that.

To awaken each morning with a smile brightening my face; to greet the day with reverence for the opportunities it contains; to approach my work with a clean mind; to hold ever before me, even in the doing of little things, the ultimate purpose toward which I am working; to meet men and women with laughter on my lips and love in my heart; to be gentle, kind, and courteous through all the hours; to approach the night with weariness that ever woos sleep and the joy that comes from work well done – this is how I desire to waste wisely my days.
Thomas Dekker 

From my thankful heart to yours,

Christine

A Promise to Moms with Little Ones

Published on by Christine18 Comments

Dear Moms with Little Ones,

I watched you drag your children kicking and screaming out of the store the other day.  You turned your back for a moment, and your little boy grabbed his sister’s hair and pulled hard. While your daughter was screaming at the top of her lungs, she punched your son in the face and they both wailed. You calmly paid for your items at the till while they air slapped one another in a screaming contest. You didn’t lose your cool, but your face was twisted with frustration.

It reminded me of the time my sister and I took my son to the mall. He wanted a toy. I said no. He laid on the floor and kicked and screamed and told me I wasn’t fair. Apparently this one toy would solve all his problems, and I was the only thing standing in the way of total peace and contentment….perhaps even world domination.

Now since this was almost 15 yrs ago, this may not be exact, but in my mind this was the conversation between my sister Brenda and I while my son wailed and flailed in the hallway of the Vermilion Mall.

Brenda: “What do we do?!”

Me: “I don’t know, this is my first kid! He’s never been overtaken by evil before.”

Brenda: “Well we better do something, everyone is staring.”

(And by everyone, she means 5 people in the mall in Vermilion)

Me: “I will pick him up and take him out. Yes, that’s what I should do.”

*insert me trying to pick up my flailing child (did he grow more limbs?!) before his head turned a complete 360 like that possessed kid in the Exorcist movie*

Brenda: “He just kicked you in the face.”

Me: “Well now this is embarrassing. Jimmy Cryderman is staring. Help me pick this kid up.”

Brenda: “No, he will kick me in the face.”

Me: “I will pay you in compliments if you help me take Satan away from the toys and deposit him in his car seat where he can be strapped down.”

Brenda: “I accept this deal, but you get his feet. I’ll take his hands.”

And with that, we transport my screaming toddler out of the mall like we were loading a sandbag. He did an alligator roll so it was quite the task. I like to think we did so with grace and dignity, but I know that wasn’t the case. We got the giggles. Yes, picture that. Two giggling girls carrying a screaming child out of the mall.

My point to this story is for all you Moms who are still in this stage of life. The stage of life when you are setting boundaries for your small children will strip you of your dignity. It will make you feel like you are inadequate and ridiculous.

When my kids were small, other Moms would approach me and say “Enjoy them while they are young!” and I remember thinking “Are you crazy?! I feel like a failure daily trying to shape these kids to be responsible adults who won’t kill puppies”

Let me give you the other side of the coin. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the baby/toddler stage. But let’s face it, I spent most of my time stalking them so they didn’t run into the lake while we were camping, or try to pet a tiger when we went to the zoo. I’m now at a different stage; one that I’m head-over-heels in love with. My little toy-possessed boy has grown into the most amazing, kind, respectful, and generous young man. He’s turning 16 in October. My other two kids are 10 and 7. I don’t have to stalk them anymore, they know their boundaries. All that embarrassment in the beginning years was worth it. I can read a book on the beach while they play now. We can go out for family suppers without the threat of temper tantrums. No more diapers, no more mandatory naps…It’s awesome. While I do miss my little babies so much, I’m focussing on the joy that lives within this stage and the freedom that exists within our growing family as we watch them develop into amazing people.

To all the Moms of little ones out there, if you are wondering if there is light at the end of the setting-boundaries tunnel…I’m here to tell you there is. And it’s ridiculously fun.

I will leave you with some photos from our summer so far. The first picture is my oldest son (the feature of my story) with my daughter whom he protects and loves so much.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Riding in Cars with Hitchhikers

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During my childhood, my Dad always found the good in everyone…and I truly mean everyone. Even those who my teenage brain had decided were losers. It was highly annoying back in my selfish youth.

He offered jobs to men struggling to find work, paid for meals, gave money to the homeless holding signs.

He picked up hitchhikers. A lot of hitchhikers. I cozied up to many. I don’t remember thinking it wasn’t safe. It was just normal and we got to know the life stories of each of those we picked up.

Even though it’s been 20+ years since one of his daughters has been in 4-H, he still buys a sheep at the yearly 4-H sale. I call them his feral sheep, he pastures some and they run wild with the horses.

I never understood his intense desire to accept and find good in all he met.

I get it now Dad.

Because…

I’ve been broken.

Judged.

Misunderstood.

Looked down upon.

By many who had decided they knew what was “right” for my life. Which must have meant that I’ve lived the “wrong” way all these years…who knew?!   They’ve come in all shapes and sizes: super-moms, the popular, the wealthy with more worldly goods than one would need in 5 lifetimes, and those who wish I would live their version of their religion…or no religion at all.  The scope is wide.

And now that I understand acceptance, I don’t understand the need to correct another’s way of life.

I do know one important truth…

Even the mighty will fall.

And when they do, there will be people like my Dad who will accept them with open arms without criticism or judgement.

What this world needs is love, acceptance, kindness, positivity, and generosity.

I’m not interested in your version of how I should live my life.

Because I don’t need fixing thank you very much.

I’m no longer broken.

I’m just weird crazy me. The odd chick who makes up awkward yoga poses in her spare time.

And if you can deal with that, then I look forward to getting to know you for you. Just as you are, with complete freedom to say what you feel, and to live your life as you see fit.

I will leave you with this thought: We all want to be accepted for our authentic selves, yet the same respect is not always given in return. If we were to give the gift of acceptance to others, wouldn’t our whole outlook change? Thoughts? I welcome your insight!

From my heart to yours,

Christine

The Privilege of Busy

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Today’s day is flat-out. There’s so much on my to-do list. Laundry, cleaning, burning CDs, editing, uploading, organizing, emailing, scheduling photo sessions around many schedules, shopping for my son’s grade 9 farewell, kid’s homework to help with, a sink of dirty dishes to sort out, company coming for supper, and the most frustrating confusing task of matching up the odd socks. What happens to the other sock? Where does it go? I don’t understand.

Just yesterday I felt fabulous. I was woman, hear me roar. I even curled my hair for no other reason than to let it bounce in the wind when I went for a run. What a difference a day makes.

On a side note about the busy side of this picture: let’s look at it so you can understand just how frazzled I truly am. The rose glasses? Part of a Halloween costume that I didn’t put away. Yes I realize it’s now May. That Tiara? Well, I just like wearing tiaras sometimes. It makes me feel fancy when I work. Those socks have no pair, and there’s a huge basket with more. And Brandy, that disk is yours.

Anywhoooooo, as I was running in circles within my mind like a deranged chick, I had one of these lovely revelations that I’ve been blessed to see lately.

You see, not long ago I visited my Grandmother in the lodge. It was just before supper time and as I walked Grandma to her seat at her table I noticed a lady sitting on a chair staring out the front doors. She didn’t move to join the others for supper and she wore an expression of longing. As I was leaving, I said hello to her and asked her if everything was OK. She  quietly replied that she was waiting for her family. As I made my way to my car, I realized that many of the residents at the lodge spend a lot of time waiting.  Their once overwhelmingly busy lives are now full of normality and routine.  I felt guilty for walking away to the car I can drive back to my busy family.

I felt guilty because I take it for granted. Yes, I take busy for granted. All these tasks I have to do in my day is because I have a purpose to some very special people. The purpose of being a Mom, a wife, a friend, a photographer of love. I am needed. I am blessed. I am an important element to the thread that holds this busy family together.

In the midst of my crazy day, I just wanted to take a quick moment to share that thought with you. To all you overwhelmed Moms who master the art of being busy, we are lucky and we are privileged.

I encourage you to enjoy your busy today, because I was reminded that one day life won’t be so busy. I sure will miss all the crazy….like crazy.

From my busy thankful heart to yours,

Christine

It’s All About Your Heart

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Fifteen years ago, on a beautiful October day crisp with the brilliant orange and yellows of fall, I secured my newborn beautiful son into his car seat ready to leave the hospital. I remember thinking “Are you actually going to let me leave with this new soul without asking if I’m at all capable of taking care of him?”

The golden morning light filtered through the window surrounding both of us, and I sat on the edge of the hospital bed and cried.

My favourite nurse walked into the room.

I was embarrassed and quickly wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my sweater.

Surely this was supposed to be the most exciting morning of my life! I was about to take this perfect baby home and shower him with love. I dreamed of this day since I was a little girl.

But I was scared beyond belief. I was responsible for his happiness and security, and I felt completely unprepared.

The nurse walked over to me and tenderly placed her hand on my shoulder. In a calm and reassuring tone she said “You will do just fine. Don’t worry. When you have your first child, no one ever tells you that you may not feel how you think you should. Just go home and love him.”

And then she prayed for me while I bawled like a baby.

I will never forget her kindness. It was probably something she did often for new Moms she cared for, but to me it was the most unbelievable gift of encouragement during the time when I needed it most.

To all you Moms out there, whether you are new to the role or seasoned veterans…

You are amazing.

There is no right way, just your own way.

For every unsolicited bit of advice you will receive about how to “properly” care for your child, simply listen to your own voice that instinctual knows what is best for your child.

Your children will flourish in your love. They will remember it.

When you rest your tired eyes at the end of a busy day and think about all the things you could have done better, remember that the memories your children will treasure most when they grow up are the happy ones.

They won’t remember that you burned the cookies, they will remember that you took the time to bake them cookies.

They won’t remember that you were a little late for their school play, they will remember that you sat on the edge of your seat with pride-filled eyes waving back at them when it was their turn to perform.

They won’t remember that your floors were dirty with watery footprints and sand, they will remember running with reckless abandon through the ice-cold sprinkler in the heat of the day and squishing the sand between their toes in the sandbox.

They won’t remember the hours of overtime put in to save for a holiday, they will remember the amazing family vacation where their laughter floated on the summer breeze.

They won’t remember the me-time you took away from the family to feel like yourself again, they will remember the happy Mom who returned with a revived spirit.

They won’t remember the days you couldn’t get away from your responsibilities to attend their school field trips, they will remember the school events you did make it to.

And they most likely won’t remember the expensive toy you caved in and bought after weeks of their insistent begging, but rather the refrigerator box you magically transformed into a space ship.

They will remember family dinners around home-cooked meals, and family dinners around take-out.

They will remember:

~your strong spirit

~your perseverance

~your loving embrace

~your encouraging words

~your tenacity

~your compassion

~your smile

~your laughter

~your soft heart

Sometimes us Moms need to give ourselves a break, and focus on the areas we excel, rather than the areas we lack.

Because our children will remember all the brilliance, magic, and good that lived within those precious childhood years.

In the words of a favourite artist Mindy Gledhill…

It’s all about your heart.

From my soft-Mom-heart to yours,

Christine