I thought I would share my journal entry from my Miracle Morning… Which, by the way, I have a copy of the book of if you want to borrow it. Just message me (even if you live far away, I’ll mail it)
I often romanticized things, so when I got my personal training certification, I was excited to share with others how fitness, eating for fuel, learning to look at food in a positive way, getting off the couch, moving with freedom…can change your entire world/relationships/self-worth/happiness. I only know this because I was lucky enough to stumble upon it when I was fighting my own demons.
A customary question that arises when you meet new people is “So what do you do?”
I would answer: “I’m a Photographer and a Personal Trainer”
What I’ve found over the years, almost always everyone gets the “photographer” part; but the personal training element often comes with some interesting questions all based around aesthetics.
How much weight can you squat?
How often do you work out?
What do you weigh?
It can be reduced to reps and sets and which “diet” is best.
That line of questioning has always been an uncomfortable place for me, not because of the judgments or labels (it’s easy to want to put people in tidy little boxes/categories to understand); but rather because it’s not what this is about for me. It’s intensely personal in many regards, but it has little to do with aesthetics.
It’s about self-worth.
It’s more than going back to biology roots of how our bodies are designed to move and fuel. It’s the heart of what makes us human: compassion, pride, joy, self-love. Not just existing but rather LIVING with a fire in our soul, and passion within our spirit.
I certainly do not have all the answers; I’m still figuring it out as life moves along. But I do know who I am as a woman: my goals/aspirations/dreams and what drives me within finding purpose in life.
We all need purpose. It’s what fulfills and connects us. Pushes us to grow and evolve.
There is wisdom within purpose.
And I thought about it a different way this morning, if learning to finally take care of myself in love created a purpose within me to share that with others; then I am one lucky person. I’m grateful.
I see beauty within everyone I meet. We all have strength within us that can (if fed) create an urging to burst out of whatever self-imposed cage we are living within.
I laugh at some of my “excuses” when I fall into complacency. They are just lies I tell myself to make it acceptable to do “less than” I am able. I would not wish that for my children, or for those I love most in life.
I guess that has become an accurate measurement of where I’m at in regards to self-love/self-worth. Do I want as much happiness, zest for life, fulfillment for myself as I do for my children?
There is no pride found within bingeing on anything. It’s a tool to numb. To not feel.
Are we not meant to feel? Even the horrible stuff. It’s part of what makes us human. We can however choose the elements in which we navigate those troubled waters making it a little less painful.
I did not find it within food, or alcohol, or sitting in that stupid chair in isolation beside a TV.
I renewed my spirit (and continue to) within….
~Sharing openly (with healthy boundaries)
~Fitness and challenging my body to grow in strength
~Surrounding myself with people who love me and want the best for my life (and I them)
I found myself within…
~Trails of sun-kissed leaves and the healing currents of water
~Sweat and tears and laughter despite my fears
~The urging of my legs to keep on moving because there are some not so fortunate and would give anything to do so (love you Janice)
~Foods that provide energy, nutrients, and vitamins
~Writing, reading, and growing to be a better version of myself to love others authentically
~Honest communication between like-minded people with similar struggles in which my empathetic heart connects with theirs through shared experiences
This is why I’m a personal trainer. I’m not sure I fit into the “mould” of what a personal trainer looks like, but I’m living my truth.
But that’s a pretty long-winded answer and congrats if you got to the end of this post. 😉
From my heart to yours,