Author: Christine

Life is Good, Not Perfect

Published on by Christine13 Comments

We live in an online era where friend’s and family’s lives are visual.  Where we once met other disheveled, sleep-deprived, and frazzled Moms in school hallways, we now focus on bright shiny pictures of kid’s first days of school: perfect hair, perfect clothing, and the beautiful Mom smiling proudly beside them.

There is nothing wrong with that, I love looking at my friend’s and family’s photos they post online. I feel connected to them when life gets busy or when miles keep us apart.  The trap lies within the perfect, because really…who’s life is perfect?

I’ve fallen into the trap of envying another’s seemingly flawless life who appears to be full of fun and adventure.  It’s not the type of envy where I wish I was them, but rather I wish I had life figured out a little more!  I struggle with keeping up with my kid’s homework, sports, housework, the mountain of laundry that grows daily, photography, bake sales, picture day, and at times I forget to brush my own hair…and then I get a glimpse of another’s “perfect” life and I wonder why I can’t get it all together.  What am I doing wrong!?

That has me wondering if I portray my life to be full of roses and lollipops…I assure you the roses are often neglected and the lollipops may have hit the crumb filled floor, but it’s OK…the 5 second rule dictates it’s still edible.

I do know that I’m far too awkward to hold onto a perfect-life illusion for any amount of time. The other day I parked my bike in the school parking lot and it tipped over in the wind. I had my mail stuffed into my bike basket and I had to run around catching it while it flew in the wind. This magical moment happened as the school bell rang so I was lucky to have an audience of many adults and kids. I would have aborted the mission after a few long minutes, but the mail had my name and address on it. Why must I be so awkward?

Anywhoooo, I’m focussing on gratitude these days, which means when I say “Life is Good”, it’s usually in the midst of dealing with something difficult and well…not so good. I’m trying to appreciate the beauty that lives within everyday life despite the trials and the heart-ache that goes along with it.  We wouldn’t appreciate the good without the bad.

So let me be real here.

Take for instance this photo:

I went for a bike ride that cold day in April because I was incredibly down, life’s “it’s not fair” moments had piled up. I was angry at God because my Dad has Cancer. Minutes before I took the shadow photos, I sat on a park bench and told myself not to cry. Despite my will to keep it bottled up, I cried anyway. I took this photo because photography makes me feel better, as does exercise. It’s an emotional release that is in my control, when life is out of control.

Or how about this photo:

This was the first day of school this past September. My oldest son almost missed the bus so I could take the 1st day photo which “I HAD TO HAVE” (I actually yelled that from behind my camera).  You obviously can’t see me in this photo, but if you could, you would have averted your eyes. I was sporting mis-matched ugly PJ’s, wild tatty hair, and my mascara had made a run for it.

And lastly this photo:

This was my last day of 34. I felt anxious that day because I hadn’t accomplished what I wanted to in 34 years. I chose that necklace, because it was a gift from a dear friend and it means a lot (thank you Tawn). I got over it and embraced 35 by the next day. But on this day, I was quite insecure which I covered with a smile.  🙂

So this post is for any woman who has looked at another with envy and thought to herself “why can’t I be as put together as she is.” or “why can’t I be as confident as her?”  Chances are, she isn’t as confident or put together as she seems.

And this post is for any Mother who wishes she could be better based on the outside view of another Mom.  I’m willing to bet, she too wishes she could be a better Mom and may even look the same way at you. There is no handbook for parenting, you just do your best from one day to the next.

I try to remember this when I see a horrified Mom standing in a grocery store line while her screaming kids flail around because they want candy.  It’s in my nature to look away so I don’t embarrass her, but if it was me…I would love another Mom to say “I’ve been there. I can relate.”  There is support and kindness within empathy.

Yes life is good, but it sure isn’t perfect.  Please remember that if you ever feel less than.  We are all perfectly imperfect.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Creating your own Peace

Published on by Christine1 Comment

I’ve been busy with all things photography lately, and although at times it’s overwhelming given all of Life’s other daily tasks, I love busy. For me, with Autumn also comes purpose.

Autumn is my favourite time of year. There is something so magical when the leaves turn and the fields come alive with the harvest. Golden sun-kissed fields fill with rolling trails of dust that hang in twilight skies with each round of the combine.

As a kid, I loved visiting my Dad as he worked in the field. My Mom used to pack a big picnic blanket along with a home-cooked meal so we could all eat together along the field’s edge. My sisters and I would stand at the end of the swath and jump up and down to get his attention.  I remember sitting on that picnic blanket and looking up at Dad who sat on an end gate, precariously balancing a warm meal on his lap while sipping steaming hot coffee from a thermos. If I close my eyes and think back to those childhood memories, the vision of warm golden sunsets over wheat fields fills me with peace. Even today, all I have to do to get that warm fuzzy feeling from home is to turn off pavement and find a gravel road to drive down.

A detour down a gravel road, with the windows down and  Sting’s “Fields of Gold” playing in the background does wonders for my Autumn havest homesickness.

I was shooting a family session the other day at their beautiful acreage. She thanked me for travelling out to their country home, and I had the feeling she believed it was an inconvenience. In all truthfulness, I couldn’t wait for the harvest drive, I loved every scenic minute of it. On the way home I passed by this landscape…

Usually when I’m in the middle of a busy shooting season, I have no desire to take personal photos; however, I’ve focused on moments lately. Moments like these pass us by all the time. It’s up to us to see them.  I knew I had to turn around and take those photos. That whole scene which I appreciated so much at that moment would have been lost to me.

We are often in the business of waiting. We spend much of our lives waiting in lines, at doctor’s offices, the bank, and the grocery store. We wait for the next stage in our lives, and when we make it there, we miss the stage that just passed us by.

There is life within the waiting.

There is life within the chaos.

There is peace in this busy life at this very moment.

I am so grateful to realize that these moments in life that bring peace are all around if I would simply take notice. Not only take notice, but create and re-created them.

The other day I went for a run along trails of green, gold, and amber; the sounds of leaves crunching under my feet as geese flew overhead leaving the promise of winter behind. I knew I loved running in the Fall, but I haven’t made the time for it lately. I wouldn’t have enjoyed the overwhelming feeling of peace that an Autumn run brought me had I not created it.

 It isn’t enough to talk about peace, one must believe it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it, one must work for it.
 – Eleanor Roosevelt

What can you do today to create your own moments of peace?

Peace is just a moment away.  Why wait for peace to come to you when you can create it?

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Waking our Inner Child

Published on by Christine3 Comments

As a family photographer, I’ve noticed an amazing quality in all children I photograph.

Children think they are awesome as is. I often say to kids during a photography session: “You are amazing” and their reply is almost always the same…”I know”.

As adults, we are often confuse confidence for vanity, but I’ve thought about beauty in a different way lately.  When you say to a child: You are beautiful or you are amazing, children interpret that very differently than we adults do.  Kids love who they are as a whole, rather than relating that comment to aesthetics.  It’s the spirit of the child that shines through. The unbridled ability to play, sing, accept others, run, dress, just as they wish. To Just Be. Children are active because they want to be!

And then somewhere along the way…we lose that ability. We are affected by outside influences that tell us what to wear, what music to like, what size we should be, etc.

Much of this is cultural, based on where we grew up.  We are fortunate to live in a country where freedom of speech and religion is a right, but our children don’t know any different, and we can take this amazing gift for granted. We are free to dream.

When we were children, we loved our body for its ability. Arms to play, hands to hold and colour with, a face that carries expression, hair to blow in the breeze on a windy day or to add 17 pony-tails to on crazy hair day at school, feet to cover with sand, and legs to run through water on a hot summer day.

And then we get older and “wiser”.  Speaking from personal struggles, there have been times in my life when I wanted to be thinner, stronger, richer, and more confident. I’ve analyzed the times in my life when I was the most confident and I’ve realized that confidence comes from self-acceptance.  Just Be. Weed out the outside influences.

Find your inner voice, your own unique sense of style, form your own opinions.  My daughter will often come to me and ask if I like the outfit she chose for the day, and I reply “Do you?” because that’s all that matters.

So maybe, just maybe, we could learn a thing or two about self-acceptance through the eyes of a child…

The child who looks at their Mom and tells her she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, even when she first wakes up in the morning sporting sticky-uppy hair and well-worn PJs.

The child who can befriend another in an instance and who accepts an invitation to play if only for a few minutes.

The child who loves who they are as is, appreciates their body for all it can do, greets each day with wonder and gratitude, and is eager to learn and grow.

The child who thinks they are just plain awesome, and who accepts others in the same way.

Let’s wake up that inner-child my friends. Self-acceptance is already within us.

Life is amazing and so are you. Have I told you that lately?!

From my heart to yours,

Christine

The Power of One

Published on by Christine11 Comments

The Power of One

One run where you push yourself just a little further.

One positive thought.

One phone call to someone you miss.

One song you love turned up as loud as it will go.

One shoulder dance.

One walk in the park.

One bike ride in the sunshine.

One random act of kindness.

One handwritten card mailed to another who needs encouragement.

One “thank-you”.

One “I love you”.

One uplifting sticky note.

One hour reading a book you can’t put down.

One fragrant fresh-cut bunch of flowers set on a kitchen table.

One word of encouragement either given or received.

One fit of laughter.

One friend who truly understands.

One kiss from your kids.

One amazing afternoon spent with friends.

 

Just ONE…it holds the power to turn the gift of this one day around.

Positive Out, Positive In.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Thanks for the Dance

Published on by Christine4 Comments

The world can be a selfish place. What about Me? I deserve… I need… I want…

As children, our Mom taught us 6 girls to give the best of what we had to our guests, to hold doors open for strangers, to give without expecting anything in return, to be empathetic and sympathetic to others, and the golden rule. Thank you Mom, you’ve laid out the foundation of how to raise my own children.

I want to share an experience I recently had at my Nephew’s wedding. The room was decorated beautifully and we all came together dressed in our best to celebrate the deliriously happy couple.  As the wedding dance was underway, I found my way to my Mom and my sister Janice’s table. We sat together and watched the couples on the dance floor moving to the rhythm of the music, and it dawned on me that maybe Janice, who’s lived with MS for years, misses dancing. I asked her “Hey, Janice do you want to dance?” She looked at me like I was crazy, and for a second I was embarrassed…how was I going to get her on the dance floor with her limited mobility. What a stupid question!

And then, moments later, as my Aunt Sandy and I were aiding Janice to walk to a different table, Aunt Sandy says “Let’s go dance Janice!”  Janice again looked at Aunt Sandy like she was crazy, but we made our way to the dance floor.  The three of us interlace our arms around one another and just swayed together to the music. Janice giggled throughout most of it, truly enjoying herself. And then the moment hit me: I’m dancing with Janice! Several times I had to choke back my tears, as the gravity of that moment was overwhelming.  It was as if there was no one around us, just the three of us and the sound of Janice’s laughter.

It wasn’t until the song was over and we turned around that I noticed our family behind us clapping, and cheering for Janice. I will never forget that. I know there were family members who took photos, if anyone has a picture of that I would love a copy to frame so I can look at it often.

At the end of the night, as I tried in vain to get to sleep, I couldn’t stop thinking about Janice. I thought about all the times when I was so wrapped up in my own life and my own kids, that I failed to look at the world from her eyes. I didn’t think about what she must be wanting and needing and unable to achieve because of the horrible disease she lives with daily. Sometimes the one trait you struggle to handle in another person is the very same trait you struggle with as well…in this case Selfishness.  The trouble with selfishness is it’s a hard one to recognize, because one is wrapped up in their own needs, wearing blinders to others.

All you can do when you are slapped in the face with something you need to change is to learn, move forward, and make the necessary changes. Time to take the blinders off!  Once again you continue to teach me so much about life and humanity Janice.

Janice and my Daughter at the wedding

And Janice, thanks for the dance…

From my heart to yours,

Chrissy

The Special Occasion that is Life

Published on by Christine7 Comments

The other night, a few of us shutter bugs got together for drinks.  One of our friends walked in wearing a beautiful dress and a brilliant smile. She looked stunning. Now, let me tell you she’s an amazingly strong woman with an infectious laugh that permeates from her soul. She’s been fighting the cancer dragon with the sort of strength and positive spirit that leaves me in awe. She is really LIVING her life, taking time in her busy schedule to enjoy the sweet joys of life: Photography, travel, hiking, good food and great company.

Because she was wearing such a beautiful dress, we asked her if she had just come from a special event, and she replied that she had this beautiful dress hanging in her closet which she didn’t have many occasions to wear, so today she wore it…just because it was a beautiful day.  You are an incredible woman my friend!

The simply lesson to enjoy life today…right now…is such a gift.  Thank you Kyla.

For a wedding gift, my Mom and Dad gave us a beautiful cutlery set, housed in a wooden box. For 10 years the cutlery sat untouched in its protective box, as there never seemed to be an occasion special enough to warrant using the “fancy cutlery”. One day as I was searching in vain for a tea-spoon to stir the sugar into my morning coffee (those spoons seem to walk off to school), the image of the “special cutlery” popped into my head. I walked over to the box, scooped up each special utensil, and put it all into the everyday cutlery drawer.  I’m sure my mother would gasp if she knew this…ummmmm so maybe don’t tell her. 😉  Now everyday is a special day for using special spoons.  I feel fancy every time I eat cereal.

What special event are we waiting for my friends? If we instead view everyday as a gift, then every day is special. My hope is that I would view every day with wonder and gratitude. I’m working on that, I forget sometimes and focus on the wrong things, which in the end matter very little.

So let me put this out there…

If you are waiting for a memorable event to enjoy something “special”, why not enjoy it today…just because.

~Dress the table in your fanciest linens, put out the good china and cutlery, prepare a delectable supper, enjoy a glass of that wine you’ve been saving…just because today is a gift.

~Pick up the phone, and call a loved one that you’ve lost touch with.

~Tell your friends and family something you appreciate about them…just because you appreciate them.

~Book that vacation you’ve always been meaning to take, even if it’s just a day trip.

~Take a break from the work, and enjoy the sun even if it’s for 5 minutes.

~Go for a walk, run, or bike ride and really take in all your surroundings. Simply because you can.

~Puddle jump, or go for a walk in the rain. A little water won’t hurt.

~Think of all those goals you’ve put on the back burner…waiting for the “right” time. Maybe, just maybe, NOW is the right time.

~Take up a new hobby that you’ve always wanted to try. Life long learning is a gift. I don’t know where I would be without photography. It’s a creative outlet that I’m so thankful for.

~Watch the sun set, or the sun rise.

~You know those fancy towels that hang in bathrooms…they are for display not for use. Use them.

~Get dressed up, and go to the grocery store, or to the movies, or anywhere the daily tasks of life takes you.

And when someone asks you: “What’s the special occasion?” You can then reply with a smile “Life.”

From my heart to yours,

Christine

I’m Home

Published on by Christine2 Comments

I’m often reminded to shift my perspective. Very often. Life aligns to humble and teach what is of true importance.  I’m grateful.

I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.
Maya Angelou

For so many years I didn’t feel like I was home. It’s difficult to describe in words, but it was a restless, incomplete feeling. I lacked direction and purpose.  Sometimes in life when one lacks direction, they will take the path of least resistance, which isn’t always the right path. Rather it’s the easiest. I used to say to my Mom when I was young “But that’s too hard” to which she replied “Who said life was easy?”

My purpose was unclear for many years, and at times it’s still unclear.  One needs purpose and direction in order to move forward though. It’s essential. I didn’t understand why my Dad didn’t sell his cattle before he started his radiation treatments.  Looking back on it now, I realize that perhaps he needed to take care of his cattle during one of the hardest times in his life.  It gave him purpose and direction while he was struggling.

So today I’m reminded of the importance of direction even if I’m unclear of which way to go!  Just put one foot in front of the other. Don’t stop searching. Keep going. Life’s direction can unfold itself when one least expects it. Don’t fear challenge, but rather embrace it. When your mind says No, that’s when  you say Yes…we are all stronger than we even realize.

Purpose is found within life’s passion. Those things in life that bring clarity, true happiness, and peace. What is it that you value most?  Often I realize the right decision for me is the one I fear the most. I fear change and the unknown and I hold back on pursuing my dreams because of that.

Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.
Maya Angelou

During my summer holidays, I was once again humbled to my core. I was talking to my Dad and my sister Janice about how I loved that my sisters Brenda and Roxanne shared a joy for running.  My sister Brenda and her husband Mark had just left for their morning run and my Dad said to me “You know Janice was a track star in high school.”  Janice has lived with MS for many years, and because we are several years apart, I don’t remember Janice in high school.  Janice looked at me with longing in her eyes and said “Yes Chris, I used to love to run. I ran in the morning, in the afternoon, and at night! I loved to run. I miss it.”

As those words escaped her lips, I thought of the times that I had to convince myself to go for a run when I would rather be on the couch. I immediately felt small. Ungrateful. Spoiled. Selfish.

A vision of Janice flooded my mind’s eyes, her auburn hair floating in the breeze, her breathing steady, her strong legs urging her forward as her runners hit the pavement at a steady pace.  She ran simply for the joy of being able to.  At that moment, I would have given anything to give her my legs so she could run, even for one last time. I’m so sorry Janice. You teach me so much about life, and I’m so grateful to you. I love you.

“Other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts.”  Rick Warren

As soon as I hit publish on this post I’m going to the gym. I’m going to post an uplifting post-it note to the mirror in the change room, and then hit the running track simply because I’m able to run. And I will feel gratitude in my heart the whole time, even when it hurts and I want to stop.

I feel like I’m home now. I’ve found myself through the lessons that others have so selflessly shared with me.  I can’t tell you how much that means to me. Thank you.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Grandma’s Family Roots

Published on by Christine2 Comments

My Grandma Dicke is an amazing woman. In May, she celebrated 94 years!

She’s kind, gracious, and extremely generous. She gives more than she takes (in fact, she rarely takes), and takes care of other’s needs before her own. She’s always been that way. She has a talent for knitting, and she lays out hand-made mittens and washcloths for our family to choose from at family functions…just because. She’s an incredible role-model for our large family.  We are blessed to have Grandma as the matriarch of our family.

I was thinking today that she must have learned so much about life in her 94 amazing years, so I decided to call her and ask her a few questions.

Chrissy (as she calls me): What is your earliest childhood memory?

Grandma: “Walking to school at 6 years old. I also remember driving the team of horses. I rode horseback to the school and the church which was on the corner. The church yard had a barn where we put the horses.  It was 2.5 miles from home. As soon as were big enough to sit up, we rode horseback.  “Freda” was my horse’s name.”

C: What did you do for fun as a young girl?

G: “We played ball at school: soft ball and foot ball. We had a swing, I loved to swing.”

C: What chores did you do on the farm?

G: “I  milked cows and drove horses. One year we had 4 horses, and another year we had 6 horses and a cultivator.  We worked hard, but we still seemed to have time to play. We had a big loft and Mom would send us out there to play so she had some time to herself.”

C: What was life like when you were raising a family in the early years?

G: “Things were pretty tough, we didn’t have much money. We had a lot of second-hand clothes given to us.”

C: Was it hard raising 6 kids?

G: “Yes, I was always tired! I worked hard in the field.”

C: Can you share an important life lesson you’ve learned through your life experiences?

G: “To be responsible for your actions.”

 C: What was life like during the depression?

G: “During the depression, it was pretty hard getting food.  We had a beef ring and we took turns once a week taking in beef. The butcher would cut it up and separated it into bags for us and we would pick it up on Saturday morning.”

C: What’s a Beef Ring Grandma?

G: “A beef ring is when you each raise beef and when it gets to be a certain size, you would take it in to get butchered and we would split it up amongst us. There was 20 of us neighbors that did this. Some people would have poor beef and you wouldn’t get much beef one week, and then sometimes a neighbour would have one with lots of fat, so we had lots of meat.

Life now is pretty different living in one-room. I read through my bible once a year and that keeps me strong.”

And then she laughed. The from-the-belly kind of laugh that works into your heart and mind and then lingers there for a while like a melody.

2010: Looking over old photographs at the 100 yr celebration of the farm
My Grandma and 4 of 6 of her Children at the 100 year celebration of the farm...The same farm land Grandma helped work.

I could tell she was growing tired, so I thanked her for all the interesting life stories, and we said our good-byes.  My Grandma continues to teach me so much today. I have no idea how fortunate and spoiled I am. I have all the modern-day conveniences which I take for granted.

As I was listening to my Grandma recall memories of her childhood, I realized something. The reason she’s such an incredible woman today is because of all she went through in her life. The good and the bad both form character, and Grandma’s character is something to aspire to.

I also realized how important it is to find out about one’s history ~ rich in knowledge, tradition, and wisdom. If we don’t ask questions and learn from our elders, that history can’t be passed down. Thank you for sharing with me Grandma. I love you!

From my heart to yours,

Chrissy

on Hope

Published on by Christine4 Comments

My facebook status today:

Dad’s last day of kicking cancer’s ass is today…the final radiation treatment. So proud of his outlook on life: full of strength and positivity. Will be celebrating with him at the lake in a few days. I’m having a “Life is great” moment!

As I pressed enter on the keyboard, my phone rang. I didn’t have to look at the number. I intuitively knew it was my Dad calling from the road as he travelled the last of the daily trips into Edmonton for radiation. Rather than the customary “Hello”, I answered the phone with  “Congratulations on your last treatment.” He replied “Yes, it’s the last one!”

And then we talked about the series of bad storms in our area, his work schedule to get ready to go to the lake, and where everyone was going to park their trailers at the lake lot.  It’s tricky planning for 4 trailers, a couple of boats, and numerous vehicles that accompany our large family at the lake. “We will make it work!” he chimed in.

As we talked about normal everyday life events, my mind wandered to the phone call we had just months earlier when Dad learned he had cancer.  Many questions and the great unknown was dropped onto his lap….and now, cancer has become a part of life. We talk about Radiation appointments like we talk about the weather.

For a brief moment, a single question invaded my mind: What about tomorrow? I pushed tomorrow out, because Dad needs today.  We all need today. The last of the radiation.  It’s a day of celebration.

This past Christmas we gathered together to celebrate Dad’s recent surgery to remove the cancerous prostate, and now in a week we’ll gather together for our yearly family lake vacation and celebrate the end of the radiation treatments. We will huddle around a roaring campfire and talk over one another with fits of laughter sprinkled throughout.

So today marks a celebration of strength for my Dad. cancer can’t take that from him. There will be no room in my mind to worry about tomorrow.  That would be giving power over to the disease. We have today. Thank you God for today!

We as a family have been given a gift.  We have HOPE and we have come together in love and support.  I have to admit a fact that I’ve been avoiding for years.  My Father and I didn’t have the strongest of relationships in the past.  The hectic pace of life took over and we didn’t talk as often as I wanted. There was always somewhere to be, or some pressing matter of greater importance to attend to.

I have to tell you my friends what I’ve learned throughout this year:

~Family is everything.

~Time is precious.

~There isn’t a right time to say “I love you.”  I no longer say good-bye at the end of a conversation with Dad. We end our talks with “I love you.”

~Today is a gift.

~Happiness is a choice.

~Positivity is a choice.

~Forgiveness is a choice.

~Hope reins supreme.

~And a quote I read the other day that is blunt, but so true: “If you keep one foot in the past and one foot in the future… you’re probably pissing all over today.” ~ author unknown

Yesterday is just that…yesterday. It’s done and it’s in the past. There’s no point in worrying about tomorrow, because we have no control over tomorrow.  But guess what my friends, we have the gift of today.

The next time you are spending time with your family and the little annoyances of life take over…the kids are arguing, your vacation isn’t going as planned, the truck breaks down, the mosquitos are eating you alive, etc. ~ Just smile and shake it off. It’s not important. It’s just part of the adventure that is life!

The true joy of life lives within love and a heart full of gratitude.  I often say Life is Good; however, today I say Life is Great. Sometimes one just has to be reminded that it’s within our control whether we allow the beauty that is life to take over and permeate our soul.

From my grateful and happy heart to yours,

Christine 🙂

On Change, Drive, and Perseverance

Published on by Christine6 Comments

For years I gave myself permission to give up. I resisted challenging myself. I fought against change. I scratched the surface of what I was truly capable of. I didn’t know what I was capable of because I never truly put in all of the effort I had to give.  I was cheating myself.  I recognize that now.

“Unless you are prepared to give up something valuable you will never be able to truly change at all, because you’ll be forever in the control of things you can’t give up.” Andy Law – Creative Company

I have a memory that I will always hold on to. I was sitting in my car outside of my work, it was 8 years ago.  It’s a memory of a thought actually. I was desperate to lose the weight I had packed on in my teens and 20’s but I didn’t know how. I thought “If only I could pay someone to teach me how to lose it. A quick fix. I don’t know how to eat a healthy and well-balanced diet. I don’t know how to work out. I just don’t know…I’m stuck here.”

The memory of the feeling attached to being “stuck” is something that I will never forget and I channel that memory every time I want to give up today.

Every time my legs scream to stop running ~ I remember, and I keep going.

Every time I want to skip a workout ~ I remember and I lace up my shoes.

Every time I believe I can’t reach a goal ~ I remember and I forge on.

That “stuck” feeling was so overpowering, that it’s the reason I won’t go back there. When I first started changing my lifestyle, I did feel like I was giving something up.  It was a way of life that I was comfortable with in many ways, even though it was destructive. It took awhile for the end picture to become visible to me, but I felt the benefits of exercise and changing my diet early on.  It’s funny how your tastes change, and they do change.

The prescription for change in regards to my lifestyle has transferred into other areas of my life that have required change.  One has to be able to give up something that they perceive as valuable.  The best part is, often down the road you realize that it wasn’t all that valuable in the first place and with healthy change comes healthy replacements carrying equal value.

I have a honeysuckle vine growing up the side of our deck.  This year it looked dead.  It was a sad mass of twisted & woven brown vine. I was surprised when I saw signs of new green growth from the bottom.  The new fresh vine has now woven its way into the dead.   I could have cut back the dead vine before the new vine made its way to the top, but I left it.  It’s symbolic. Never underestimate the power of new, the will to fight, and the drive to persevere when you think you have nothing left.  It’s within all life. Sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper to find it.

From my heart to yours,

Christine