Category: Healthy Eating

The Biggest Responsibility of a Parent

Published on by Christine4 Comments

Here in Canada, we just celebrated Thanksgiving.  Status updates of thankfulness flooded my facebook news feed. Posts about family, love, and happiness were abundant. I spent a wonderful week-end with my family.  All the people I met while out and about in preparation for a week-end of food and family were full of joy. The spirit of Thanksgiving had touched everyone I crossed paths with.

It was rainbows, unicorns, and butterflies…at least for a little while. Until the week after Thanksgiving came and I could only wonder if there was a full moon.

Some angry dude cut me off in traffic.

A message of hate popped up within a group supporting Children’s hopes and dreams. To be honest my first thought was “You sir, are an ass hat.” I tried to reply with tact in the face of such hatred and ignorance.

My facebook feed of thanksgiving was replaced with a handful of rants and complaints.  Not many, but just enough to make me want to shut down my account in annoyance. I have so much to be thankful for…we all do. The freedom of expression and of speech, a warm house to live in, and food in my belly. The fact I’ve struggled with my weight all these years is a clear indicator of just how lucky I have been to have a fridge stocked with more food than I need.

My daughter came home in tears because a girl in school called her fat. Again.

I could list more examples, but it doesn’t matter. You get the point.

As I was wondering what is wrong with people, a thought came to mind “Who are these people’s parents? How is it they don’t know how to treat others with respect?”  The answer to this question, and the responsibility for this issue flooded my heart. I realized that I hold the key to the solution.

Because I AM A PARENT.

One thing I’ve learned through raising three kids, is that they are born pure of heart. They learn their behaviour based on their environment.  Kids are giving, loyal, loving, and accepting.  They play hard, dream big, and love with no limits.

We as parents have a responsibility my friends.  Among the many responsibilities we shoulder, above all we need to teach our children to be kind, patient, loving, and giving. We need to show them how to put the needs of others before our own, to help our neighbours, our friends, our family, and yes…even strangers too.

As I was deep in thought, I challenged myself with these questions: Am I the example my children need of a person who shows others love and kindness?  Are they learning these important lessons at home?  It’s not enough for me to explain kindness to my kids, I need to show my children through my actions.

Actions speak volumes, and repetition of action breeds habit. Acts of kindness will be engrained within them like rings on a tree. It’s effortless because it becomes who they are as people. Given the environment of generosity and selflessness, little people with big hearts mature into grown ups with giving hearts.

I wanted to share this with you today not to imply that you aren’t raising your kids right, but rather to encourage you to show love to others in ways that your children will replicate. Our children are watching us.

I am humbled by today’s revelation, and I will put these thoughts into actions to make sure that I am an example of kindness that my children desperately need to in turn show kindness and acceptance to others.

I may not be able to change the world, but I can affect the way my three amazing children view this world. I can teach them to give and in turn they will make this beautiful world a better place not just for themselves, but for those around them who need their support and love.

It’s not enough to be kind to those we love. Anyone can do that.

To awaken each morning with a smile brightening my face; to greet the day with reverence for the opportunities it contains; to approach my work with a clean mind; to hold ever before me, even in the doing of little things, the ultimate purpose toward which I am working; to meet men and women with laughter on my lips and love in my heart; to be gentle, kind, and courteous through all the hours; to approach the night with weariness that ever woos sleep and the joy that comes from work well done – this is how I desire to waste wisely my days.
Thomas Dekker 

From my thankful heart to yours,

Christine

Recipe for Success via a Chick’s Weird Mind

Published on by Christine3 Comments

I went for a run yesterday.

It’s been a couple of weeks since I ran. You see I’ve been “meaning to”, but good intentions mean nothing if you don’t actually lace up the runners. It’s like telling a friend you “meant” to phone them, but you didn’t because you were pinning crafts you will never actually craft on Pinterest.

Anywhoooo, As I was running I was wondering why I haven’t hit the trails in a while, and after much thought I had a EUREKA! moment.

I’ve put off running because my mind told me I need to lose these extra 10 pounds I’ve put on.

You would think that if my head said I should lose them, that would translate into the urge to run it off.  For me, It has the opposite effect.

What it does is put pressure on me and it panics me a little. Which spirals into NOT wanting to run, making a few bad food choices, which turns into more bad food choices, which turns into beating myself up, to pass me the chocolate, which leads to a chocolate face sportin’ a pout on the couch.

Here is the key to maintaining my healthy weight

(which for me is a weight that I can maintain and still enjoy chocolate and a martini with good friends).  

The key to maintaining is that my goal is to be fit and healthy.

~the will to exercise attaches to the desire to clear my mind of stress and improve health by building endurance and muscle. For the good of my mind, it has nothing to do with burning calories so I can lose pounds. Exercise makes me feel alive. I feel like Chuck Norris after a good workout, mixed with a dash of Angela Lansbury circa Murder She Wrote.

~the desire to eat healthy foods and drink lots of water produces understanding that these foods are what fuel my energy levels. Healthy foods
+ lots of water = energy, less sick days, and the added bonus of good skin.

~Balance in life is important. Enjoy the beautiful parts of life. Positive out, positive in. Live life with gratitude and a thankful heart. And above all, always give more than you take.

When I combine these factors: Exercise + Healthy Foods + A Grateful Heart: it’s a recipe for Success!

Onto the next part of the formula…Define success?

If I were to measure success by the number on a scale, I would feel like I’m failing!  Especially when I add weight training to my exercise routine.  Muscle weighs more than fat.

It’s the way I think about things that make me feel successful.

I will give you two scenarios to explain it, because this thought process eluded me for years!

Scenario 1: I weigh myself in the morning. I am up 2 pounds from the last time I weighed. Shit balls. Time to work out. Go for a run thinking about the stupid 2 pound gain the entire run. Return home. Drink water. Think about all the foods I want to eat but can’t eat because I’m chubby-chubberson…insert more self-deprecating talk here. Eat a salad with no dressing. Get hungry. Sport my angry eyes. Air punch something. Spend the day thinking about the chocolate bar I’ve hidden in the top shelf of the pantry. Stop taunting me Reece’s peanut butter cup.  Time for supper. What can I eat with the least amount of calories? I choose more salad. Put the kids to bed and the Reese’s peanut butter cup comes alive in the pantry, screaming at me “Hey Chrissy, I’m a cup of sunshine”. Go eat it and return to the pantry to find more snacks. Nothing looks good. Walk away. Return to the pantry with lowered expectations. Eat a bag of butter flavoured mini-rice cakes. Go to bed feeling like a loser with no will power. Will do better tomorrow.

Scenario 2: Wake up and feel off. Why? Realize I have missed part of the maintaining equation. Mood and energy is down, lace up my runners. Run in the sunshine focusing on gratitude simply for the gift that I am able to run. See a goose on the trail, run large circle around it while I scream a bit as it hisses at me. Thank you goose for improving my running time. Return home feeling like a million bucks. I’m awesome. Drink water. I’m hungry and the fridge is full of  fruits, and veggies and left over chicken. Perfect foods to give me even more energy. Drink more water. Feel productive and alive. Turn up music and dance like an idiot around my house. Kids roll their eyes. Try to force a son-mom dance…it’s like dancing with a mannequin. Plan supper, going to roast some veggies with olive oil, seasoned just right with a side of fish and dash of love (I’m corny that way). Eat until I’m full, it feels good to fuel my body with the right foods.   Drink more water. Feeling successful and full of joy and pride, I pat myself on the back. Watch Modern Family on the boob tube and choke on my water as I laugh. Life is good, today was great.

See the difference?! The key to success lies within the mind. That’s great news! I have lived both sides of those scenarios, and life is just a whole lot more fun in scenario #2. I believe I have also given you a glimpse into my weird mind.

I will leave you with some iPhone photo moments, taken when I stopped to enjoy the sunsets and to smell the flowers. 🙂

And a video that my friend Clint shared with me today that brought a smile to my face.

Clint also created a facebook page with thoughts, photos, and links to bring a smile to your day: http://www.facebook.com/sideofthebed

I wish you a ridiculous amount of success finding joy through out your day!

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Throwing out the F-Word: Fat

Published on by Christine12 Comments

Now that Christmas and New Years is behind me, I walked into my bathroom with the clear intention to step on the scale. I pulled that devil scale out its lair with dread, and tentatively stared at it for a bit telling myself that it really didn’t matter what number I saw, it was time to get back to work.

I stepped on it, and looked away. Well this is stupid, I have to see the number. And there it was, a number I hadn’t seen in years since I’ve reached my goal weight…160 pounds. I felt a little panicky, how did I manage to gain 10 pounds in just one Christmas season?

I walked downstairs to make a coffee, inwardly fighting the positive with the negative. I have a goal now, no big deal…but, I can’t fit my jeans! I need to get to work NOW. My daughter’s little voice interrupted my inward banter. She sat at the counter colouring a picture of a Disney princess and without missing a beat of colouring she asked. “What’s wrong Mom?” I replied flippantly  “I can’t fit my jeans, I ate too much chocolate over Christmas!”

Now, I’m going to share the next part of the story with hesitation, because I feel a lot of guilt over it. It’s that crippling Mom guilt and it’s replayed over and over in my mind ever since.

My sweet little girl looked up at me and with sadness in her eyes she said “When I was in Kindergarten, A girl told me I was fat. Do you exercise so you won’t get fat?”  I just stood there stunned. I didn’t realize that my own thoughts about my body image would be transferred to my daughter in that moment and that she equated exercising with the need to not be “fat”.

And that began our conversation about foods that give you energy and vitamins, staying active to be healthy and to have energy, and that she is most definitely perfect just as she is.  I told her that I too was told I was “fat” in school, and she giggled at me and said “but you’re not fat, you are thin!” Those words broke my heart, because if I can’t accept my body, how am I going to expect my daughter to accept hers?! We are going to throw out the word “fat” within our household, it’s officially the F-Word.

I share this story with you today, because I know that like me, there are many Moms out there who struggle with raising their children to have a healthy self-esteem.  I believe it’s THE hardest part of the Mom gig…both in raising sons and daughters. With healthy self-esteem, comes self-respect and healthy decisions. A strong self-esteem will aid in preventing my kids from making decisions where they put themselves at risk…because they will value themselves far too much to be dragged down. In some ways I’m thankful I didn’t have a lot of self-esteem growing up, because it’s now a huge priority in how I raise my children. I believe I understand those issues a little better given my past. But there is no way, I will accept that for my own children.

I need to find a healthy balance, because I also want to raise my children to take care of their bodies. To be active (which in their world means playing and running outside),  and to eat healthy foods. To equate all of that with taking care of their bodies, rather than relating it to aesthetics.

So these are my thoughts today, and I don’t have all the answers, but I am analyzing what I’ve done wrong, and the things I’ve done right. I am holding myself accountable, because like it or not, my kids are watching me. They are learning from me.

Active fun is on the menu for Winter. 🙂

To all you Moms out there: If we want to raise healthy, balanced children with self-respect…we better work on that within ourselves.  If you are reading this post riddled with Mom guilt, and you have insights on this topic (or if you share in my struggle), I would love to hear from you! Drop me a comment.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

On Change, Drive, and Perseverance

Published on by Christine6 Comments

For years I gave myself permission to give up. I resisted challenging myself. I fought against change. I scratched the surface of what I was truly capable of. I didn’t know what I was capable of because I never truly put in all of the effort I had to give.  I was cheating myself.  I recognize that now.

“Unless you are prepared to give up something valuable you will never be able to truly change at all, because you’ll be forever in the control of things you can’t give up.” Andy Law – Creative Company

I have a memory that I will always hold on to. I was sitting in my car outside of my work, it was 8 years ago.  It’s a memory of a thought actually. I was desperate to lose the weight I had packed on in my teens and 20’s but I didn’t know how. I thought “If only I could pay someone to teach me how to lose it. A quick fix. I don’t know how to eat a healthy and well-balanced diet. I don’t know how to work out. I just don’t know…I’m stuck here.”

The memory of the feeling attached to being “stuck” is something that I will never forget and I channel that memory every time I want to give up today.

Every time my legs scream to stop running ~ I remember, and I keep going.

Every time I want to skip a workout ~ I remember and I lace up my shoes.

Every time I believe I can’t reach a goal ~ I remember and I forge on.

That “stuck” feeling was so overpowering, that it’s the reason I won’t go back there. When I first started changing my lifestyle, I did feel like I was giving something up.  It was a way of life that I was comfortable with in many ways, even though it was destructive. It took awhile for the end picture to become visible to me, but I felt the benefits of exercise and changing my diet early on.  It’s funny how your tastes change, and they do change.

The prescription for change in regards to my lifestyle has transferred into other areas of my life that have required change.  One has to be able to give up something that they perceive as valuable.  The best part is, often down the road you realize that it wasn’t all that valuable in the first place and with healthy change comes healthy replacements carrying equal value.

I have a honeysuckle vine growing up the side of our deck.  This year it looked dead.  It was a sad mass of twisted & woven brown vine. I was surprised when I saw signs of new green growth from the bottom.  The new fresh vine has now woven its way into the dead.   I could have cut back the dead vine before the new vine made its way to the top, but I left it.  It’s symbolic. Never underestimate the power of new, the will to fight, and the drive to persevere when you think you have nothing left.  It’s within all life. Sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper to find it.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

6 years ago today

Published on by Christine4 Comments

Six years ago today, I reached my goal weight.  Back then I was part of an amazing healthy living support group called “Journey to the Heart” (JTTH), led by my dear friend Ginette. There was a reunion week-end planned the year I reached my goal, and during the celebrations, I received my key chain which signified all the work I put into reach my goal.  I carry that treasured key chain with me today.

The JTTH reunion week-end is a time I will never forget and I’ve made some incredible friendships thanks to the creation of that group.  The women I’ve met through JTTH touched my heart and taught me so much about life…to persevere, to keep going when I wanted to quit, and the power that comes along with a community of understanding and supportive friends.  Thank you!

Ginette handing me my goal weight keychain

I love when an anniversary rolls around for all dates that mark a change in life. These milestones remind one to look back to the beginning and reflect on the changes and growth that’s transpired through the years.

Today, I want to thank to all those amazing people in my life that were my inspirations, my reasons for moving forward, my teachers of life lessons. One of the most amazing lessons I’ve learned over the last few years is that when you finally figure out who you are and put it out there, you will draw in the most amazing like-minded individuals.  I can’t begin to explain how thankful I am for my friends and family.  You are most definitely food for my soul.  So thank you from the bottom of my heart. Collectively, you have changed my life.

I wasted many years…living in fear.  Fear of the unknown, of change, and of failure.  But you know what?  I’m thankful for those years because I would have never appreciated the goodness of life if I hadn’t once taken it for granted.

I remember a time about 8 years ago, my son Ty wanted me to go swimming with him.  I just couldn’t bring myself to put on a swim suit. I avoided facing the reality that I had packed on over 90 pounds in a period of just a few years.  I avoided friends whom I hadn’t seen in a while, social situations, and getting my photo taken (I have very few pictures with me and my kids when I was at my heaviest).  My fear, anxiety, and remorse not only held me back from living life, but it also held my kids back from being active.  I wish I loved myself at that time in my life, I lost out on building relationships with those I loved.

I used to believe that being proud of your accomplishments was being boastful and arrogant. But let me tell you my friends, I need to be proud of changing my lifestyle because it’s directly tied to my body image.  I’ve had a few friends joke to me over the years that I’m too wrapped up in the calorie/fat content in foods, and in my need to stay active.

The only way I’ve managed to stay at my goal weight is by staying focussed on what I’m eating, but more importantly, on the correlation between food and activity.  It’s necessary for me.  If I’m not diligent in that area, I WILL gain the weight back. I’m at a healthy weight today, and I plan to stay that way because it’s the place I physically feel the best.

Our bodies are designed to eat whole natural foods and to move!  As long as I’m physically able to be active, I believe I should be and I’ve learned that lesson from those who are not physically able to be active.  There’s so many ways to add physical activity to one’s daily life.  Walking instead of driving, biking with the kids, dancing like an idiot, anything that gets that heart rate up for a bit…it makes me feel alive inside.

I forget sometimes that people who just meet me have no idea of where I started, and because of my tendency to be socially awkward, it takes some time to “get” me. 😛  I’m working on the whole “I won’t be awkward in public situations”, although awkwardness is just a part of who I am I’ve decided!  I’ve become OK with being misjudged on many occasions.

I do hope I never portray that I think I have all the answers in this area, because I can assure you that I don’t! I can only attest to what works for me, but everyone is different. I believe life is a continual learning curve…all one can do is their best and their best changes as life changes.  I didn’t start running for 30 minutes, I started running for 30 seconds.  Seriously a few years ago, I was physically unable to sustain a running pace for more than 30 seconds.  BUT…the body adapts quickly, and within two weeks I was able to run 1 minute, then 5, then 10, then 20, and so on.

Photo on Right: Taken by my beautiful friend Amy Alexander.

This is how I view things today, feeling pride is actually a bi-product of gratitude.  I am so grateful for a life where I recognize all the blessings around our family.  I’m grateful for the amazing people I’ve met along the way. I’m grateful that I am able to pass on what I learned….if it touches another’s heart.  A circle of support is something to treasure, and it’s built up through sharing and connecting on a genuine level.

So today, I look back with a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart.

The photo below from 2002 was one of the rare instances that I went swimming with my kids.  Today, we spend much of our time on the beach and in the water when we go to the lake. 🙂

I finally feel like I’m home within my own life and there’s so much more life to live.

I want to show my kids that life is meant to be actively lived when I was once a side-line Mom, scared to try new things. You can only do the best you can in each stage of your life.

Music is one of those gifts that mark life events, and when you hear a song tied to a memory, you are taken right back there again. This piece from the film “The Piano”, was one I used to listen to over and over again (on cassette tape!) It reminds me of a difficult place in my life; however I’ve learned so much going through those difficult times so I’m just grateful.

To my supportive friends and family, I love you!  You amaze me with each passing day. As life flies by, you continue to prove that there are no limits to your strength, wisdom, and acceptance.

From my grateful heart to yours,

Christine, 6 years at goal weight 🙂

Today’s Woman: The Non-Airbrushed Variety

Published on by Christine14 Comments

I was surfing the web and came across a couple of photos of celebrities who were featured on magazine covers.  These covers have obviously been airbrushed.

Kelly Clarkson’s cover caused quite the controversy back in 2009.  “My happy weight changes,” Clarkson says in the September issue of SELF. “Sometimes I eat more; sometimes I play more. I’ll be different sizes all the time. When people talk about my weight, I’m like, ‘You seem to have a problem with it; I don’t. I’m fine!’ I’ve never felt uncomfortable on the red carpet or anything.”  Yet, her cover was obviously airbrushed which I believe she had little control over.

Editor-in-chief of Self Magazine, Lucy Danziger defended the magazine cover. People reports:

“Yes. Of course we do retouching,” Danziger writes in a post on Self.com. “Did we alter her appearance? Only to make her look her personal best.”
Calling Clarkson “the picture of confidence,” Danzinger writes, “I think this photo is the truest we have ever put out there on the newsstand.”

What?! “Only to make her look her personal best”…are you kidding me?  How is this her personal best if she doesn’t ACTUALLY look this way?!  What a crock! Am I supposed to stare at these magazine covers and wish I looked just like them?  If so, I best be opening my Photoshop folks, cause it’s going to take a lot of airbrushing.

I am a Mom of 3. I have a daughter. The idea that the media promotes airbrushed images as a standard of “beauty” is disturbing.  These images are not even REAL. Models are expected to fit a size 0. In reality, the vast majority of today’s women are not a size 0.  I feel an immense responsibility to show my daughter what the true measure of beauty is, and it comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes.  At the same time, I also want to show my daughter what a healthy lifestyle is all about.  A lifestyle of balance, activity, and healthy natural foods. Of course there is always room to enjoy a little dessert too…balance. 🙂

Here is my reality.  I will be turning 35 years old next month.  I have 3 children, and I’ve had 3 c-sections.  The heaviest I have ever been was the day I gave birth to my second son, which happens to be 122 pounds heavier than I am today.  I started the path to lose the weight a few months after I had my second son. From the day I officially made the decision to live a healthier lifestyle, I weighed in at 242 pounds.  Today, I am 150 pounds which means I have lost 92 pounds.

Because of this fact, I have stretch marks and I have extra skin. There is nothing, short of plastic surgery, that will change that. It doesn’t matter how much I work out…you can’t work off extra skin.

Again, I’m going to do something completely out of my comfort zone but I’m going to post a picture of MY belly. The belly that carried around my beautiful kids. At times I am self-conscious. But, in posting this I hope to be less self-conscious…if that makes sense. Because it’s real. It’s obviously not airbrushed. It’s who I am. You can see the lines of my 3 babies who I loved before they were even born and who I dreamed about before they were even conceived. This tummy is a story of where I’ve come from and where I am today.

When I went to Jamaica, I never thought I would actually wear a bikini on the beach. What amazed me when I got there, was that the sunbathers on the beach didn’t care what their bodies looked like. In fact, I actually felt completely at peace with my body. I felt good about myself.

This has been on my mind a lot lately as at times I look in the mirror and pick apart the areas of my body I wish I could change.  Then I snap out of it when I remember that my goal through changing my lifestyle is to be HEALTHY. To be vibrant, full-of-energy, and to hold within my heart a zest for life which involves the mind, body and spirit.

I have spent far too much time in my past struggling to accept the person that I truly am. It’s time to let go and just embrace it. I’m not defined by the size of clothes I wear, or the number on the scale. That really has nothing to do with who I am.

My perspective today is that…

Confidence is beautiful.

Authenticity is beautiful.

Vulnerability and honesty are beautiful.

Sincerity is beautiful.

We are not perfect like the airbrushed Magazine covers, but perfection isn’t reality and thank God for that.

Perfectly Imperfect. We are who we are. View yourself through the eyes of those who love you most.

Be kind to yourself.

Love.

Acceptance.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Motivation by way of Goals

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“Goals.There’s not telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. There’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.” 
Jim Rohn

The times in my life when I have felt the most alive and inspired have been when I set an attainable goal and focussed my energy on reaching it.

Setting goals inspires motivation. Without clear goals set, there is no direction. I had forgotten this simple truth! I had been going through my workouts last month dragging my heels. Now that I’m at my goal weight, the motivation to continue on this path is a struggle sometimes, because my goal was to reach a certain weight.

This is a lifestyle, and in order to continue working out and eating healthy I need to set goals along the way…benchmarks to work towards.  It took me awhile to reach the goal of running 5K several times a week, but now that I’m here…it’s not a challenge anymore.  I needed a new challenge. Recently I set a goal to run a 5K in under 30 minutes. For me, this was a tough-to-reach goal as my comfort zone lies within a slow jog at this point.  Seriously people, at the running track  it is not uncommon to get passed by a power walker.

After setting the goal of running 5K in under 30, I woke up every morning excited to work out. Would today be the day I would reach the goal?  When I wanted to stop or slow down, I knew I had to press on because I wouldn’t allow myself to have a slower result than the day before.  I shared my goal with others so I was accountable. When I reached my goal, I was so happy! 5K in 29:31.  Within a few minutes after reaching it, I thought: Huh, now what…time to set a new goal.

My new goal is to run a 9 minute mile, and then to sustain it for 5 K.  I’ve also started strength training again using Jari Love’s “Get Ripped” DVDs three times a week so I can build some muscle in my un-muscley arms and legs. Good-bye Grover arms (except my grover arms come with an under-arm waddle).

Do you have a goal you are working towards?  If you don’t, I want to encourage you to set one today and enjoy the process of working towards reaching it.  If your goal is a big one, split it up into small goals and enjoy the pride when you reach each small goal along the way. Small changes & small steps, add up and produce huge results in the long run.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

New Year, New State of Mind.

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I’m editing a set of photos from the “Beauty from Within” project I shot before Christmas (click here if you wish to view the photos). It’s an amazing project where the girls are shown that the true measure of beauty comes from within.

As I was editing the photos, I realized that my frame of mind in regards to my own body image isn’t the greatest at the moment. Christmas was filled with amazing food!  I certainly had my fill and after days of over-indulgence I was down about it.  Guess what my friends, the amazing foods that accompany Christmas is a great part of life!

Balance.

I started back to my workout routine yesterday, but what I realized as I was trying to channel inner strength to finish a 5K run, is that my mind was clearing with ever laboured step I took.

I felt inner strength that had escaped me since my last workout. There it is…the power of a great workout, it just clears the mind!

During that workout, I had the clarity of mind to remember that with the New Year usually comes a panic to make resolutions and goals.  The trap that comes with New Year resolutions, is that they can be extreme and hard to maintain as part of a daily lifestyle.

With that said, this year I’m resolving to shift my focus to a state of mind brought to me by the amazing women and girls from the “Beauty From Within” project.

Beauty from Within.  It’s not about fitting into a pair of jeans, or worrying about bathing suit season as I have in the past.  For me, it’s about using exercise for clarity, inner pride, and peace of mind.  It’s about viewing food as fuel.  It’s about finding those things that bring pride and joy into my life.  A world of positive, I cans, and I wills. It’s about authentic relationships built on acceptance and support.

I also realized that little changes can produce big results if they are carried out consistently. It’s a lifestyle…meaning, it’s carried with you through out your life.

I would encourage you as the New Year approaches to take away the panic to lose “X” amount of pounds or to be a certain size so you can work on the outer appearance.  Instead, focus on using exercise and healthy eating to build up your pride and peace within.  Focus on the amazing balance that comes from positive changes that affect the three elements: Your Mind, Body, and Soul.   Enjoy the ride and the pride that accompanies each positive step forward to a healthy and happy life.

Progress, not Perfection.

Happy New Year from my Heart to Yours,

Christine

The Beginning

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It’s been a pattern this year to learn a life lesson from a few people all at once.

This week I’ve had the pleasure of real honest conversations with a few friends, all of whom want to make a change. I realized that I may not be putting out there the reality of how things began for me. The place I was in when I started this journey.

It hasn’t been easy.  I didn’t make the change overnight, and I still have a long way to go.  Changes on the outside begin first on the inside.  There were days, and there still are days, that I wanted to give up and go back to the familiar lifestyle that I lived for years…because there was a part of that lifestyle that felt safe.

Back when I weighed 242 pounds, even though I was miserable in my own body, I also felt comfortable in other ways.  I was OK much of the time with living on the sidelines and feeling invisible.  I was always the big girl among my group of friends and it was a role that I was used to and had accepted in many ways.

The first major hurdle when I finally decided to make a change, was realizing that I COULD make changes.   I recently found my old journal that I started in 2003.  When I read through the pages of daily records of what I ate and what I did for exercise, I realized that even at the beginning I had resigned myself that I was always going to be overweight. I randomly chose a goal weight of 180 pounds as I had a memory of once weighing that in high-school.   But even beside that declaration of goal weight, I wrote “I’m very out of shape” and “I would love to be 165 pounds” but I didn’t believe that I would actually get there.  I only wrote 180 pounds because I had read in a book that I needed some sort of goal to work towards.  In my mind, I just wanted to weigh under 200 pounds.

I remember that I tried not to think of the end goal, and would just focus on the day at hand.  Focus on upping my daily steps, fitting in a workout every morning, figuring out how to eat healthy.  I had no idea what eating healthy was about.  No clue!  But I was determined to figure it out and poured over books, health magazines, and resources online.  I was so confused over everything I read.  There were so many different opinions out there.

I decided to use common sense.  I would eat foods that came from the earth as close to their natural state as possible.  As far as the meat protein was concerned, I had read that if it swims, runs, or flies it’s more lean and has less fat content.  Made sense to me!

I also had no idea how much food to eat.  I had spent so many years never being hungry, that I didn’t really understand what it was like to just eat the proper amount to fuel the body.

I remember sitting out on the deck at our acreage, and looking out at the wildlife around me.  How is it there are no overweight animals (unless they are raised by humans)?  Because it’s instinct to know how much to eat. We lived in a society of super-size portions and we have forgotten to listen to our bodies to tell us when we are full.  I read that it takes about 20 minutes to realize you are full when eating a meal.  I started eating my meals slowly and really paid attention to when I was full…not stuffed…but rather not hungry anymore.

Drinking enough water was another issue I had!  I had no idea that my body would confuse hunger for thirst.  So I started drinking 8 glasses of water a day and I just naturally ate less.

Exercising was not easy at the beginning. I felt big, clumsy, and was worried what people would think about seeing a big girl “trying” to work out.  I worked out in my basement at the beginning and chose to jog on country roads by our acreage as it was private.  I don’t think I went into a gym until I was under 200 pounds.  Looking back, it’s too bad that I didn’t feel I had a right to be in the gym with everyone else.  When I go to the gym now and see a person struggling through a workout I have so much respect for them.  It takes real courage to put yourself out there for others to see in an area that is difficult and unfamiliar.

One of the most important steps was to find a support system. To actually declare out loud that I was going to lose the weight by changing my lifestyle.  I didn’t want to say it out loud because I thought there was a good possibility that would fail.  I forced myself out of that comfort zone, and started sharing publicly my intentions.  It was the first time I admitted to others that I wasn’t OK with being the big girl, that I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin, that I was sick of being scared to try new things.

But the truth was, I wanted to go swimming with my kids, to go to a gym and feel comfortable, to ride a bike, to walk up stairs without being winded, to walk into a clothing store and buy clothes off the rack, to feel confident when I walked into a room full of people, to wear shorts!!!!  I didn’t wear shorts for decades!

So every time I feel like I want to go back to the old way of life, I have to remind myself of where I came from, and of the sadness I carried inside that I rarely showed to others.

I exercise today not only for my body, but more for my mind.  I have NEVER felt such joy and pride within myself until I began exercising.  It just clears the mind of negativity.

So as much as I want to say that losing the weight was difficult, I also have to tell you that it was easy at the same time. It was easy because my zest and love for life was awoken and for the first time I challenged myself to never give up, to quiet the negative self-doubt, and to believe in myself.  The loss of the weight was just a tangible visual result of finding out who I was.

It doesn’t make life easier or less confusing at times but it’s a journey that continues on today. There is more life to be lived and I am lucky that I have my health and the knowledge that I am the one in control of how I chose to live it through good times and bad times.

I have this song on my iPod, and often listen to it when I run.  I’m not sure what it is about the song that is so meaningful for me, but it gives me shivers every time I hear it.  Maybe it’s because for much of my life I felt like I needed someone to “fix” me.  But I have  learned that although it’s important to lean on others for support and motivation, the responsibility to “fix” the areas of my life that require change ultimately comes from within.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Living in the Moment

Published on by Christine2 Comments

I was talking to a dear friend of mine the other day, and I was immediately struck that what I see within her and what she sees within herself are totally different.

This is how I view her.

A stunning and talented self-less mother who would do anything for her family.  She puts the needs of everyone else before her own.  Her vivacious personality is matched to her beauty. She has no idea how amazing she is.

I have had conversations over the past two weeks with a few women.  There was a universal theme for all of us.  We feel stuck in some area of our lives, and don’t know how to move out of it.

It happens so often to me. I’m in a stage of life, and rather than enjoying the stage I’m at now, I’m looking ahead to the next stage.  The problem with that is I don’t live in the moment and miss valuing the great events happening NOW.  It’s only after I’ve moved onto the  next stage that I realize I should have enjoyed the previous stage because now it’s passed me by.  Does that ever happen to you?

It’s tough sometimes to find the balance between moving forward and enjoying the moment. When you are constantly looking ahead and wondering how you are going to arrive at whatever destination you’ve deemed as the “end goal” it’s overwhelming.  It also brings with it a feeling of failure because we aren’t at the stage we want to be.

I realized this week, that sometimes moving forward means focussing on the now.  The stage of life I am in at this moment.  When I say that out loud, I feel freedom to just enjoy life rather than wish I was doing something more with it.  There are so many ways to enjoy the now.

Here I go again, pushing the exercise wagon…but seriously, it only takes a 1/2 hour of exercise to change my mindset.  Eating the right foods gives me energy.  You couple exercise and eating healthy and it’s a recipe for feeling value and pride in ones self.  As moms we often put ourselves last, but taking time for ourselves is essential and allows us to give more of ourselves to those we love.  Really, the most important thing in life is family.

Find the things that bring you the most joy to your heart…and run with it.  We only have the one life to live…we often forget that until we’ve lost someone we love. It’s completely in our control how we chose to live it.  Life is about choices and we know deep inside which choices are the best for ourselves and those we value most.  Pay attention to that inner voice, and enjoy the ride.

For the Bon Jovi fans out there… 🙂

From my heart to yours,

Christine