For years I gave myself permission to give up. I resisted challenging myself. I fought against change. I scratched the surface of what I was truly capable of. I didn’t know what I was capable of because I never truly put in all of the effort I had to give. I was cheating myself. I recognize that now.
“Unless you are prepared to give up something valuable you will never be able to truly change at all, because you’ll be forever in the control of things you can’t give up.” Andy Law – Creative Company
I have a memory that I will always hold on to. I was sitting in my car outside of my work, it was 8 years ago. It’s a memory of a thought actually. I was desperate to lose the weight I had packed on in my teens and 20’s but I didn’t know how. I thought “If only I could pay someone to teach me how to lose it. A quick fix. I don’t know how to eat a healthy and well-balanced diet. I don’t know how to work out. I just don’t know…I’m stuck here.”
The memory of the feeling attached to being “stuck” is something that I will never forget and I channel that memory every time I want to give up today.
Every time my legs scream to stop running ~ I remember, and I keep going.
Every time I want to skip a workout ~ I remember and I lace up my shoes.
Every time I believe I can’t reach a goal ~ I remember and I forge on.
That “stuck” feeling was so overpowering, that it’s the reason I won’t go back there. When I first started changing my lifestyle, I did feel like I was giving something up. It was a way of life that I was comfortable with in many ways, even though it was destructive. It took awhile for the end picture to become visible to me, but I felt the benefits of exercise and changing my diet early on. It’s funny how your tastes change, and they do change.
The prescription for change in regards to my lifestyle has transferred into other areas of my life that have required change. One has to be able to give up something that they perceive as valuable. The best part is, often down the road you realize that it wasn’t all that valuable in the first place and with healthy change comes healthy replacements carrying equal value.
I have a honeysuckle vine growing up the side of our deck. This year it looked dead. It was a sad mass of twisted & woven brown vine. I was surprised when I saw signs of new green growth from the bottom. The new fresh vine has now woven its way into the dead. I could have cut back the dead vine before the new vine made its way to the top, but I left it. It’s symbolic. Never underestimate the power of new, the will to fight, and the drive to persevere when you think you have nothing left. It’s within all life. Sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper to find it.
The saying “Everything happens for a Reason” is overused for a reason…because it’s true! During hard times in life, I’ve asked myself in frustration, “What good could possibly come out of this?”. And then, often times years down the road, I realize why I had to go through it, even if it’s simply because it brings about acceptance and understanding to another soul in a similar situation. It allows for compassion and empathy.
Even something as simple as taking a job that I didn’t exactly think was glamorous back when I was a teen, instilled life skills that I was able to take to the next job, and to the next, and then finally into the world of Photography that I love today. I couldn’t have found this career had I not made all those other choices that led me here. And who knows, maybe this career is preparing me for something different in the future that I will find purpose within as well. Life is funny that way. The future is open and full of opportunities, sometimes one just has to take some chances and veer off the familiar road that is comfortable and second nature. A wise person once told me to take on the challenges that make you feel the most scared and anxious. The more scared you are, greater the reason to go for it.
I remember my very first office job, which was my practicum after I finished my office-administration certificate. I showed up bright and early with my eager eyes on. I tried on several office outfits before settling on one that I felt would show my new employer (who didn’t have to pay me since it was a practicum) that I was professional and I meant business! Yes I did…I’m now a super serious, efficient, and proficient office worker.
My new boss walked into the building, and I stood off awkwardly to the side, waiting for his hand to be extended so I could firmly shake it. On another note, I believe hand shakes should be firm. There is nothing worse than shaking a feeble hand with no life in it. It always takes me by surprise when I shake a flaccid hand when I’m expecting a strong handshake.
Anywhoooo, I shook his hand firmly and with purpose. And then…something horrible happened. Now let me also tell you that this was back when I was “portly” and sported a large set of ta-tas. It all happened in slow motion. My bra strap apparently gave up on supporting my large heavy melons, and broke. It not only broke, but it shot out with such force that it hit my new boss on the way out, and to my horror landed on the outside of my super serious office shirt. We just stood their, holding one another’s hand, although the hand shake came to an abrupt halt.
The weirdest sound escaped my lips. It was reminiscent of Chewbacca.
I will have to give it to him, he didn’t flinch or even react. He let a few painful seconds pass while my previous eager eyes morphed into horrified-deer-caught-in-the-headlight eyes. He calmly asked me “Did you want to go home and fix that?” to which I replied “sorry my bra strap whipped you.” And on that note, I turned on my heels, and ran home to change.
I returned quite sure that this would be the last of my embarrassing moments. Oh silly girl, I was so wrong. The phone rang while I was on the second floor (which was in the industrial shop part of the building). Apparently I was the one whose job it was to answer the phones only I didn’t know anything about these fancy office phones. Rather than put the caller on hold, I just laid the phone down and ran down 1 level to my boss’s office to let him know he had a call. I realized the phone upstairs was still off the hook so I ran as fast as I could up the stairs to hang it up. If you can believe this, I ran right into some exposed roof ducting and nearly knocked myself out. I saw stars and the impact from my head to ducting brought on a loud thunderous noise that reverberated throughout the whole building. I blindly crawled to the phone to hang it up, and then I heard my boss at the bottom of the stairs hesitantly say “Oh my, are you alright?” , and my shaky voice replied “Ooh yes! I’m Right as Rain!” What teenager says that, like I stepped out of a scene from the Littlest House on the Prairie. I believe I also took on a British accent.
All of this happened before Noon on the first day of my new super-serious non-paying practicum. What is the point to this story? I don’t really have a point, I was just reminded of it while I was typing the first two paragraphs of this super-serious blog post. It has prepared me for the knowledge that I will continue to embarrass myself often, and my kids will just have to deal with it.
“If each man or woman could understand that every other human life is as full of sorrows, or joys, or base temptations, of heartaches and of remorse as his own . . . how much kinder, how much gentler he would be.”
William Allen White
You know those moments in life, when another kind soul shares an encouraging word that you will always remember? In time, the encourager may not remember the words they’ve shared, but the receiver of encouragement will always remember and treasure those words…locking them forever in their memory to be recalled when they need it most.
Through out the years, I’ve had many of these amazing kind souls share their words of wisdom with me at times when I least expected it and when I needed it most. One of these amazing souls happens to be my sister Roxy. She is my second Mother. She taught me that different is beautiful, and that it takes courage to go against status quo. She knew who she was early on in life, where as it took me years to figure it out…I’m still figuring it out. She had the tenacity to stand up for her beliefs.
She raised my little sister and I to love and appreciate music, live theatre, and all facets of the amazing world that is the Arts. A world of colour, imagination, depth, and diversity. We called ourselves “The Sisters 3 Club” and we used to put on little drama productions for anyone who would watch. My sisters and I grew up in a small town where the flair for the unique wasn’t always embraced; however, Roxy embraced different and owned it. I always knew she would grow up to enjoy a life full of the Arts, which she has.
I grew up watching her perform at the Fringe festival, and various other productions she was part of in University. She later went on to be a Drama Instructor guiding those who share an appreciation of the Arts. Today she transforms spaces in homes to reflect who the owner is through interior design. http://www.rightathomeredesigns.com/ I’m so proud of her.
Her love for the Arts was passed on to me as well and I’ve kept many of the stubs for productions she either took me to, or that she was a part of.
One of the words of wisdom that she shared with me when I was a little girl, has stayed with me to this day, and it’s something I tell my daughter often. While I can’t remember it verbatim, it went a little something like this…. I asked Roxy “Do you think I look nice in this outfit?” She looked down at me and replied “Do you think you look nice?” I nodded my little girl head and she followed with “Then that’s all that matters. Wear what you want to wear. Whatever you think is beautiful, is then beautiful.” The lesson I took from her words in relation to something as insignificant as “what should I wear” is to be the woman I want to be, and Own it. Even if it’s different…actually, especially if it’s different.
She taught me to believe exactly what one’s heart and soul leads them to believe. The transformation of a belief morphs from a question, to a feeling of peace that comes when one follows the only path that is right for them because it’s their own truth.
So here’s to different…
Here’s to the ability to understand and appreciate others who come with a different point of view from our own. May our understanding come without judgement.
Because different is refreshing, and it not only brings about change, but it can also solidify what you know is your own truth. That is exactly how we all grow in life.
Thank you Roxy for all you’ve done to influence and inspire me in this crazy ride we call life. I love you.
There have been many times over the past few years that have reminded me to cherish life, but none more powerful than this past month.
The Relay for Life was this past Friday, and I’m still recovering from it! What a night it was full of tears, strength, pride and most importantly HOPE. Also a night of snow in June!
image Copyright: Canadian Cancer Society
I tried to keep my GPS pedometer on for the entire night but my phone kept running out of batteries; however, it did record 20 KMs of walking! Thank you for supporting our team with your donations and well wishes. You can see images from the event on my photography blog by clicking HERE.
Back to perspective….The Relay for Life, and all the people who I’ve met there, have changed my life. They’ve made such a profound impact on my heart. Despite the snow and rain, the tone of the night was one of strength and hope. Every person there who donned a yellow shirt wore it with pride…they are cancer survivors. They did not walk that first lap with sorrow or sadness, they walked it with huge smiles, exuding the true joy of life with each step.
image Copyright: Canadian Cancer Society
It brings me back to what the gentleman said to me as we were in the waiting room of the Cross Cancer Clinic last week. As I sympathized with him over his cancer diagnosis, he said with a small grin “What’s a person to do? You just have to deal with it and make the most of it.” He exuded positivity. It poured out of him with every word and gesture. He knows what it means to cherish life. He respects life.
We spend far too much time complaining my friends. We complain when it’s too cold, when it’s snowing, when it’s raining, and then we complain when it’s too hot. But then you meet someone that has nothing to complain about because he’s fighting for his life. He wakes up each day and is thankful for it. He appreciates the gift that is life.
Yesterday, I was editing the photos from the Relay for Life. My kids broke out into an argument upstairs and I was growing more annoyed by the second. Minutes later, I received news from a dear friend that a mutual friend of ours learned that very morning that her young son had Leukemia. Heart-breaking perspective my friends. I pray for her and her son in the days to come. That they will find strength and peace through the support they receive, and that he will start his healing today. And I will hug my kids tighter because life is a gift.
The whole point of what I’ve learned this past month isn’t that I want to say in bed with depression. It isn’t that I should be knocked down by life’s harsh blows. It’s that I need to live the best life possible, and to give my kids the best life possible. My Dad returns from his daily Radiation treatment, jumps in his tractor, and feeds his cows. He carries on with a smile and a kind word to all who know him (and even those who don’t!) I can’t explain to you how proud of him I truly am.
All around me things look differently. The mundane items I’ve walked by a hundred times, all of sudden have meaning. They tell a story of true life…the love that lives within the every day.
My daughter’s flip-flops, still full of grass, that she literally walked out of to go inside from the afternoon’s backyard play session…
The way my kids sheltered their sidewalk chalk under the patio table so they wouldn’t get rained on…
The pansies that bloomed (despite the snow) that remind me of my Grandma Perkins. Pansies always make me smile when I take the time to appreciate them. They are so intricate and delicate yet hardy and strong (just like my Granny)…
And then I made my kids go outside to get a photo taken on this day when I appreciate them so much.
Lucas and Tessa haven’t grown out of the hugging stage, I hope they never do. Lukey has always been a little care taker of Tess, and of anyone younger than he is. If you come over with a baby, guaranteed he will ask to hold him/her.
My son Ty was bitten by a dog a few years ago on the side of his nose (I should clarify it wasn’t our dog pictured here! ha ha). I hoped this scar wouldn’t bother him. Quite the opposite is true, he thinks it makes him “look tough”. He tells his buddies he was attacked by a cougar. 😉 I love the confidence he displays through his actions.
It’s a beautiful life. Life is too short to carry anger, grudges, or to waste time worrying about what you could have or should have. Live in the now, in the spectacular present. There is so much to be thankful for.
I remember back when I was a little girl, I dreamed of the day I had my own house, my own career, my own children. How disappointing it would be to tell the little girl of my youth that I didn’t understand how lucky I am, that I didn’t truly give life the respect it deserves.
Life is meant to be lived with Joy. Slow down, take it all in. Soak up the love. Take some holidays, enjoy a walk in the park, give more than you take. Life is busy…yes it is, but sometimes you just have to MAKE the time for what’s truly important.
Today my Dad started his Radiation treatments at the Cross Cancer Institute. I was so thankful that I was able to spend the day with him.
First up was a group information “Radiation Class” as I called it. We gathered in a private room to learn all there is to know about the process of undergoing Radiation treatments (complete with a slide show). She was very thorough and informative.
After “class” we grabbed a bite to eat in the cafeteria and wouldn’t you know it, we bumped into a Couple who are Dad’s neighbours and they joined us for lunch. Dad and Mr. W. (I will call him) traded prostate cancer war stories, and I chatted with Mrs. W. who I recognized from my days growing up in Vermilion. As I talked she scanned my face for a bit, and then said “You must have lost a lot of weight, I can notice a huge difference in your face.” Mr. W. interjected with “I remember you back when you were a brat!” I burst out laughing, cause you can’t argue with the truth, yup I was a brat! ha ha 😉
We wandered down the halls, and into a coffee shop to waste some time before Dad’s first Radiation appointment.
Along our walk we appreciated the artwork displayed in the hallways, drawn by cancer patients.
These art pieces in particular really caught my eye…
I instantly thought of my dear friend Hope Walls when I saw this one…
We talked and waited. There’s a lot of waiting involved during the process of treatment.
I realized as we sat and waited, there are very few times that I’m able to visit with my Dad alone, face-to-face. We are a large family, and we travel in groups. I loved spending that time with him…just the two of us. He told me he bought a mini-van to conserve on gas so he could travel the 4 hour round-trip to and from Vermilion for his daily treatments. That is for now anyway, as he has cattle to feed.
His appointment was drawing near, so we took the escalator down a level. As we travelled down on the escalator, this painting slowly panned down out of sight, first the field, then the fluffy clouds, and finally the vibrant blue sky.
We arrived at the third waiting room of the day.
There was another gentleman waiting. My Dad loves to visit, so they struck up conversation before Dad even sat down. Dad explained that this was his first of 30 sessions, to which the gentleman commented “Ahhhh, you’re a newbie”. Dad smiled and replied “Tomorrow I won’t be.”
We waited, chatted, and waited some more until finally Dad was taken into the room marked with a Radiation placard on the door.
As I sat in the waiting room, two more gentlemen joined me. They had gotten to know one another through the course of their treatment. “How are you? Are they backed up today?”
I felt out-of-place, like I didn’t have a right to sit among these brave men. I was just the family member of a cancer patient. I looked down and fiddled with my chipped nails. When I looked up, I met the kind eyes of a stranger…a gentleman who through the course of our chat, described to me how they discovered his cancer, and his agonizing course of treatment to date: surgery, skin grafts, medication, and now Radiation. I sympathized with him, he smiled and warmly said “What’s a person to do? You just have to deal with it and make the most of it.”
Twenty minutes later, my Dad walked out of the room. He stopped at the waiting room, waved, and said “1 down, 29 to go”.
At the end of the day, my cell buzzed in my pocket as I received an e-mail informing me that my friend Carmen had just made a generous donation to our Team for the Leduc Relay for Life. With her donation I reached my $4,000 fundraising goal (thank you!!!!!)
I took this time to tell Dad about every person who donated towards my pledge page (it took awhile too, because I had to tell him who everyone’s parents are if they are from the Vermilion area). He was blown away by your support and generosity. He just shook his head in amazement and smiled bigger than he had all day. Thank you for your continued prayers, love and support.
There’s still a few days before the Relay on June 3rd. To date, Team Hope has raised $11,020!!! Today, more than any other day, I realized how important it is to continue to fundraise in order to make cancer history.
Click HERE to Pledge your Support. Every donation no matter how big or small makes a difference.
My Dad spent his day encouraging others who share a common bond. People just like him who walk through the doors of the Cross Cancer Institute to wage war against cancer in their own private fight.
As my Dad left the waiting room he will sit in for the next 6 weeks, he waved at those still there, and along with his customary Ralph grin he said “See you tomorrow!”
Six years ago today, I reached my goal weight. Back then I was part of an amazing healthy living support group called “Journey to the Heart” (JTTH), led by my dear friend Ginette. There was a reunion week-end planned the year I reached my goal, and during the celebrations, I received my key chain which signified all the work I put into reach my goal. I carry that treasured key chain with me today.
The JTTH reunion week-end is a time I will never forget and I’ve made some incredible friendships thanks to the creation of that group. The women I’ve met through JTTH touched my heart and taught me so much about life…to persevere, to keep going when I wanted to quit, and the power that comes along with a community of understanding and supportive friends. Thank you!
Ginette handing me my goal weight keychain
I love when an anniversary rolls around for all dates that mark a change in life. These milestones remind one to look back to the beginning and reflect on the changes and growth that’s transpired through the years.
Today, I want to thank to all those amazing people in my life that were my inspirations, my reasons for moving forward, my teachers of life lessons. One of the most amazing lessons I’ve learned over the last few years is that when you finally figure out who you are and put it out there, you will draw in the most amazing like-minded individuals. I can’t begin to explain how thankful I am for my friends and family. You are most definitely food for my soul. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. Collectively, you have changed my life.
I wasted many years…living in fear. Fear of the unknown, of change, and of failure. But you know what? I’m thankful for those years because I would have never appreciated the goodness of life if I hadn’t once taken it for granted.
I remember a time about 8 years ago, my son Ty wanted me to go swimming with him. I just couldn’t bring myself to put on a swim suit. I avoided facing the reality that I had packed on over 90 pounds in a period of just a few years. I avoided friends whom I hadn’t seen in a while, social situations, and getting my photo taken (I have very few pictures with me and my kids when I was at my heaviest). My fear, anxiety, and remorse not only held me back from living life, but it also held my kids back from being active. I wish I loved myself at that time in my life, I lost out on building relationships with those I loved.
I used to believe that being proud of your accomplishments was being boastful and arrogant. But let me tell you my friends, I need to be proud of changing my lifestyle because it’s directly tied to my body image. I’ve had a few friends joke to me over the years that I’m too wrapped up in the calorie/fat content in foods, and in my need to stay active.
The only way I’ve managed to stay at my goal weight is by staying focussed on what I’m eating, but more importantly, on the correlation between food and activity. It’s necessary for me. If I’m not diligent in that area, I WILL gain the weight back. I’m at a healthy weight today, and I plan to stay that way because it’s the place I physically feel the best.
Our bodies are designed to eat whole natural foods and to move! As long as I’m physically able to be active, I believe I should be and I’ve learned that lesson from those who are not physically able to be active. There’s so many ways to add physical activity to one’s daily life. Walking instead of driving, biking with the kids, dancing like an idiot, anything that gets that heart rate up for a bit…it makes me feel alive inside.
I forget sometimes that people who just meet me have no idea of where I started, and because of my tendency to be socially awkward, it takes some time to “get” me. 😛 I’m working on the whole “I won’t be awkward in public situations”, although awkwardness is just a part of who I am I’ve decided! I’ve become OK with being misjudged on many occasions.
I do hope I never portray that I think I have all the answers in this area, because I can assure you that I don’t! I can only attest to what works for me, but everyone is different. I believe life is a continual learning curve…all one can do is their best and their best changes as life changes. I didn’t start running for 30 minutes, I started running for 30 seconds. Seriously a few years ago, I was physically unable to sustain a running pace for more than 30 seconds. BUT…the body adapts quickly, and within two weeks I was able to run 1 minute, then 5, then 10, then 20, and so on.
Photo on Right: Taken by my beautiful friend Amy Alexander.
This is how I view things today, feeling pride is actually a bi-product of gratitude. I am so grateful for a life where I recognize all the blessings around our family. I’m grateful for the amazing people I’ve met along the way. I’m grateful that I am able to pass on what I learned….if it touches another’s heart. A circle of support is something to treasure, and it’s built up through sharing and connecting on a genuine level.
So today, I look back with a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart.
The photo below from 2002 was one of the rare instances that I went swimming with my kids. Today, we spend much of our time on the beach and in the water when we go to the lake. 🙂
I finally feel like I’m home within my own life and there’s so much more life to live.
I want to show my kids that life is meant to be actively lived when I was once a side-line Mom, scared to try new things. You can only do the best you can in each stage of your life.
Music is one of those gifts that mark life events, and when you hear a song tied to a memory, you are taken right back there again. This piece from the film “The Piano”, was one I used to listen to over and over again (on cassette tape!) It reminds me of a difficult place in my life; however I’ve learned so much going through those difficult times so I’m just grateful.
To my supportive friends and family, I love you! You amaze me with each passing day. As life flies by, you continue to prove that there are no limits to your strength, wisdom, and acceptance.
I believe in the power in numbers. Together we can join up to fight to make a huge impact.
I believe it’s our obligation to be informed, even though many times in life I wish I could just stick my head in the sand and pretend life’s harsh realities aren’t in fact realities.
We miss you so much Aunty LorraineMy Dad: Waiting Room of the Cross Cancer Institute
I have talked quite a lot about the Canadian Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. So much so that I’m sure many are sick of hearing about it! 😉 One thing I’ve learned since my father’s diagnosis is that we are uncomfortable discussing cancer.
But the reality is this. YOU WILL BE AFFECTED BY CANCER AT SOME POINT IN YOUR LIFE. Either because your loved one has been diagnosed, or because you have been diagnosed. Yes, I believe we need to discuss it my friends because there is Hope.
I believe we need to do something, anything to join the fight to make cancer history…because the alternative is to do nothing.
I’m not sure if I’ve adequately explained why I Relay for Life. Has the Canadian Cancer Society made any progress? Yes, they’ve made HUGE progress with every year that passes. The Relay for Life is the main fundraising event for the Canadian Cancer Society, and it’s what keeps the research going. To one day find a CURE.
Copyright: Canadian Cancer Society, Leduc Relay for Life 2010Copyright: Canadian Cancer Society, Leduc Relay for Life 2010
The facts: cancer cure rates
1940: 25% of individuals diagnosed with cancer survived it.
1960: 33% of individuals diagnosed with cancer survived it. TODAY: 60% of individuals diagnosed with cancer WILL SURVIVE it.
I believe that’s progress to be proud of.
To view the entire video collection regarding the progress that has been made through the Canadian Cancer Society, please click HERE. Information is power.
Every dollar donated makes a difference, every step taken at the Relay for Life makes a difference. All those donations, no matter how small, add up to become a big donation. There is power in numbers.
Why fight back? Because every 3 minutes, another Canadian is faced with fighting cancer. I believe the funds raised through the Relay for Life is an investment in my friend’s and family’s future. In my children’s future. And in my future.
The alternative is to do nothing. How can we accept that?
There are only 20 days until the Leduc Relay for Life and every dollar raised is a step closer to making cancer history. I’ve raised my fundraising goal to $3,000 and I’m 88% to my goal. I believe I will reach it! From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much to all of those who have donated.
Please consider joining the fight to make cancer history. Yes, my friends we are making a difference. We are making progress, we can’t stop now.
As it turns out, my Dad will be starting his radiation treatments around the same time as the Leduc Relay for Life. I believe…I know, he’s a fighter and a survivor. Fight, fight, fight.
I believe in Change and in the power of Community.
It’s my new motto. Well, it’s not new, but it’s reaffirmed to me with each precious passing year. Yes, kindness matters. The other day, I was discouraged after watching 1 hour of the national news. What’s happening to our society?
You see, I grew up on a farm, and there was the power of community in our farming area. If someone needed help with harvest, their neighbour was sure to show up with a big smile and a helping hand. We all pulled together to ensure each harvest was completed, in whatever capacity you could in order to help.
This is not our barn. Who's barn is this? Family do you know?
In my case (along with my sisters), I was the shoveler of grain, the guarder of gates when we moved cattle, and the deliverer of home-cooked meals to the field. And when a neighbour showed up to lend their support, there was no exchanging of money, just the unspoken truth that you would do the same for your neighbour.
My Dad and my Brother-in-law 🙂
I moved to Leduc 5 years ago, and I feel the sense of community within Leduc as well. However, I had some moments in a bigger city where I have said “Good Morning” to a passer-by, which was returned with a look of shock…like “what do you want?!”
Not everyone shares the same sentiment. Not everyone will say thank you when you hold open a door, or return your smile when you give up your seat on a crowded LRT. One just has to be OK with that, and just keep passing on the kindness.
Because, I believe with every fibre of my being, that Kindness Breeds Kindness.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. –Leo Buscaglia
I was so touched by a poem written by Jonathan Reed entitled “Lost Generation”.
Don’t be discouraged my friends if your kindness is not returned. It will be returned in the long run, although sometimes in the unlikeliest of places (which is amazing). Positive out, positive in. You never know when an act of kindness will meet another’s heart when they need it most. This is something I’ve been so thankful for since my father was diagnosed with cancer. Every comment, e-mail, phone call, smile, and donation toward the Leduc Relay for Life
…has made a difference in my life, and in my family’s life. Thank you so much.
As I wrote yesterday, I’m looking at life a little differently lately. I’ve been missing out on little pieces of incredible that live within the everyday.
This winter was a long one, and then this morning while I was enjoying my first cup of coffee, I noticed green grass with delicate drops of morning dew. How long have you been there green grass? I haven’t noticed you until now. A bright patch of wispy green grass surrounded by dead leaves and bits of lefts over snow. The new pushing its way through the old.
As I sat there staring with fascination at the dew drops, I inwardly wished I had a macro lens to capture what I was finally seeing.
And then…a picture of a lens came into my mind with a macro switch on it. Wait, did I already have a lens? I ran to my old camera bag and there it was. A 70-300mm third-party lens that my hubby had given me for my birthday back in 2002. The lens was still mounted on my old film SLR, my very first SLR camera I ever owned. The very camera that opened a door to looking at the world in a whole new way. There it was, a little nugget of joy in my morning.
There’s beauty all around us, one just has to open their eyes to see it. And sometimes you realize the very things you want in life, you already have. You just didn’t notice.
There are times in life that remind me that life is meant to be savoured. Life’s a gift and each day is fresh and brand new. It’s meant to be lived with purpose.
I often think about what my purpose is in life, because without purpose, there is no direction. I get caught up in the hectic pace of life, and forget to enjoy the little moments full of pure joy that are there right before me. If only I would stop, listen, and live consciously. Soak it all in. These little nuggets of joy are all around us my friends.
You see, kids know when these moments happen, they live within the joy of a moment and they don’t need to be reminded to live consciously. They aren’t aware of insecurities. They love and live without condition.
You know the saying “Dance like no one’s watching”? Have you ever watched a little girl dance? She always dances like no one’s watching. She isn’t yet burdened with outside influences. She just is exactly who she is. Purely authentic.
And then we loose pieces of that as we grow older. We lose our ability to just be.
I was thinking about Purpose today, and what it is that I want to achieve in life. It’s easy in today’s society to get caught up in the “Keeping up with the Joneses” mentality. We work so hard for “stuff”, and no matter how much one makes, there is always more “stuff” to buy. Love doesn’t live within “things”. Surely my purpose isn’t to be successful in terms of monetary possessions. What’s unique or purposeful about that?
I do know where there is no purpose in my life, and it’s taken me a long time to come to this place and accept that it’s just not a healthy reality. There is no purpose found within negativity, judgments, insecurities, jealousy, and lack of forgiveness. All these things weigh on a person’s soul. They are a burden on the heart. There is true freedom to just. let it. go.
How do you do that? You focus on the good, the now, the present, the positive, the gratitude. Perception, perception, perception.
Friendship and the ability to give unto others without expectation is a gift.
I was reminded these past couple of weeks that life is too short, and life is meant to be LIVED. Lived with purpose and pride. If I get to the core of it, I know that’s why I love to stay active, because it’s when I feel the most alive. It’s a gift. Yes, health is a gift.
There is no comparison to how I feel now versus how I felt when I first started the path to reclaim my life. I’m not only speaking about the changes physically, but more importantly the changes within my heart and mind. I took so much for granted. I didn’t feel the responsibility to take care of myself. I gave up in many ways. I’ve changed my lifestyle because there is no going back to that space I lived in for many years. It fills no purpose in my life today because I didn’t like who I was then.
I should clarify in case you haven’t read other posts, that I don’t believe happiness comes based on the physical body. I can only speak from my own personal experiences. For me, self-acceptance and pride happened when I found ways to feel alive inside again. Those amazing bits of life that kids just inherently know to experience. A big part of that was getting active and to stop watching life go by from the side-lines. Happiness is a choice, and a big part of feeling gratitude and joy lives within how one perceives life.
My goal is to live consciously, be reverent of the amazing moments life dishes out when one least expects it (and often in the most unlikely of places), and to live a life full of purpose and gratitude. Change can only occur when action is taken.
I know I’ve shared this quote a few times, but it’s one of those amazing life quotes that has to be read a few times to truly sink in!
“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.” George Bernard Shaw
I’ve lived far too much of my life waiting for life to start. I didn’t realize that life actually starts when I say so and I simply had to get out there and start living it! Not all of life is supposed to be “sunshine” and “rainbows”. How would we truly know how to appreciate life if it was always good? Adversity is what brings about reflection, change, and gratitude.
Reclaiming LIFE 