Moment of Clarity

My father underwent surgery for prostate cancer and is doing great!  He is an incredibly strong man, and a real fighter.  Even through his pain, he still comes out with his one liners that makes everyone in his presence burst out laughing. Thank you for your prayers and your notes of encouragement.  It is greatly appreciated and I was overwhelmed with the kindness and support you have shown to my family.

When I returned home last night from visiting Dad in the hospital, I had this incomplete feeling. Like I needed something to make me feel better. I went through some possible options in my head one of which was a bag of chips in the cupboard.  And then it hit me, I needed to work out.

At 9:00 p.m., I went downstairs to my make-shift gym and though I was physically spent, I pushed through a workout that was full of physical pain.  But with every running step I took on the treadmill I thought, “my father is in pain right now, so a little physical pain from running is no big deal, suck it up, push through it.”  I poured out all the frustration I was feeling in that moment into exercise.

It was one of those moments that I will always remember because even though it’s coming on 6 years since I changed my lifestyle, it was then that I truly knew I have actually changed my outlook on life.  And it struck me suddenly that part of moving forward is pushing through the pain. It’s quieting the negative self-doubt. It’s about saying “I can” when my head says “I can’t”.  It’s challenging the patterns of bad habits, and realizing that I have control over my actions.  I can either deal with stress in a negative way, or a positive way.  It’s all in my control.  My determination is in direct relation to my thoughts.

So often, we don’t truly challenge ourselves.  We accept the things we wish to change, and don’t take action.  Why?  What have we got to lose?  How can a person feel pride without challenging one’s self?

So, if you are ever faced with one of life’s trials and you doubt your strength, challenge those defeating thoughts.  Hold onto the good, the positive, the uplifting and just be strong because you ARE strong.  The strength of the human spirit knows no bounds.

Often I feel like maybe I should just keep all these thoughts inside, as they may come off as preachy.  I don’t have a right to tell anyone how to live their life. I have come to appreciate how different we all are, and I enjoy all kinds of personalities and outlooks on life!  Especially those that just have the tenacity to be exactly who they are and make no apologies for it.  But, I guess I feel the need to voice them as I have come from an entirely different lifestyle where I didn’t feel any of these positive things.  It’s hard to contain it, and I felt so alone and trapped years ago.  I wished I had someone to lift me up when I didn’t know how.

Anywhooooo, I just felt the need to tell you how strong, amazing, and powerful you are.  So often, we don’t even realize our true potential…huge, huge, potential.  🙂

I’m off to the hospital to visit my Dad.  I’m thankful for the time I’ve had with him, even if it’s to sit by his side as he sleeps.  Honestly though, he hasn’t done a lot of sleeping while he has company…he has too much to say and he’s mighty thankful that he has the opportunity to say it.

From my thankful heart,


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