It took a whole lot of repeated behaviour to realize that I can exercise all I want, but if I’m not in control of my diet, I won’t see the results of my efforts. I used to look at food very differently, and it wasn’t until I changed my perspective on food that I gained control of that area of my life.
Today I view food as fuel. It’s been a very rewarding healthy shift of focus. It’s not about deprivation or restriction. I simply eat to fuel my life. It’s really that simple.
Lean protein to build muscle.
Nutrient dense carbohydrates (also containing fiber, vitamins, protein and minerals) necessary to support muscle glycogen storage which fuels workouts.
Healthy fats which are essential for physical, mental and emotional health.
Before exercising, I make sure I fuel my body so I have the energy to get the best from my workout. I eat often so I don’t go into any meal overly hungry. Most importantly, I have found balance. I eat chocolate daily. 😉
I actually used to fear my relationship with food. I didn’t feel in control of it. Taking back that control is so freeing!
It’s amazing how you can change your entire lifestyle simply by shifting your perspective. When you change the way you think, your actions follow suit.
I seem to relearn this lesson over and over again through out my life. Sadly, it often takes a big slice of adversity to offer up a dose of humble pie.
Before I had kids, I had several ideals on how I would raise my own and what I would and wouldn’t do at various stages in their lives. Aaaaand that didn’t always turn out the way I had envisioned.
When I reached my goal weight, I’d offer up advice to others without the understanding that everyone has different goals, metabolisms, interest in different activities, food likes and dislikes, food sensitivities, etc. It’s definitely not a one size fits all prescription.
Today I’m going through a pretty painful life experience, and true to form…I am so aware of the things I said and did that wasn’t exactly supportive or productive to others who had gone through a similar journey.
All I can do now is learn from my short comings, so I can better support others and to grow into a more compassionate and kind person.
I will always remember from this day forward that if I place judgments, unsolicited advice or questions that are drawn from curiosity on anyone going through hard events in their lives: I better be ready to belly up to the table and chow down on a huge piece of humble pie. Life doesn’t always go the way you predict it will; you never know when you will find yourself in the very place you once placed judgments.
I can’t be expected to know or understand what it’s like to go through something I have yet to go through; however, I do know how to be a good friend to those in need of compassion and understanding. Treat others how you wish to be treated. Gossiping is destructive.
Having ate my fair share of humble pie at this stage in my life, I’m thankful for the lessons that has moulded me into a more authentic person. I’m better able to accept and love others just as they are. Kindness breeds kindness.
Lately I’ve been going to the gym 6 days a week for an hour at a time. It’s more than I usually go, and during this time I’ve been asked what my fitness goals are. Another regular question I’ve been asked and I often ask others is “What are you training today?” Back? Leg day? Shoulders? etc.
I’ve thought about this a lot lately, and what I reply in my mind is this:
I’m here for my mind, for my heart, for my soul.
It’s here where I push my body to my limits, that I realize the strength of my spirit.
This hour gives me time to refuel and wipe out any negativity that clouds my mind.
I’m inspired by those around me struggling through physical adversity. Like the gentlemen who is recovering from a stroke. He never misses a day and walks the track with determination and such strength.
I’m uplifted by the positivity that lives within those walls, like the couple who walk the track holding hands the entire way while talking and laughing.
I go to uplift others with positivity. A kind word, a smile, a sincere compliment. Even through my darkest days, I will smile and uplift those around me. I’ve learned it fuels my heart just as much as it fuels others. Positive energy is infectious.
I go for I know that within minutes into my workout, any anxious energy melds way into determination. The power of exercise!
There’s no other hour in my day where I feel as positive, uplifted, confident and self-assured. I leave my workouts with those feelings, and it seeps its way into other minutes of my day. Growing and evolving just as I do.
So yes, today maybe shoulder-day by physical definition, but what I’m really doing is taking gentle care of myself…body, mind, and most importantly soul & spirit. So that I am the best Mom I can be for my kids, a better friend to my friends, and to learn just how strong I am within.
Take away the aesthetics of the gym, and you are left with the heart of training…the real reason so many require that hour like air in their lungs. I am so thankful I learned this lesson. It’s been a gift during the hardest of days and a blessing on my shiny days too.
I am an all or nothing person. Either I want to do it perfectly, or not at all. I am learning to let go of the self-imposed pressure to be the sort of woman I believe I “should” be. The ideal I set for myself comes from many factors, many of which are moulded from my childhood, relationships, life experiences, and society.
I had a crazy idea the other day, what if I just stopped the quest for what I “should” be…and just be. That isn’t to say I don’t want to grow as a person, quite the opposite, but rather to listen to my intuition and authentic voice and not outside influences. We all have an authentic voice we can choose to either honour or ignore.
As I enter 2016 I choose to work on listening and acting on my authentic voice within.
To grow as a person and to support others as they grow too.
To find me again. To allow others to be exactly who they are.
To be kind and accept kindness.
To let go and trust myself.
To be imperfectly perfect.
To embrace failure within my life, and to not only learn from it but to grow within it.
To stop running from painful experiences.
To allow myself to unravel and rebuild who I know I am as a person.
I had a revelation the other day while I was on the treadmill. I fear a lot. More specifically, I fear failure and the unknown. This fear holds me back from pursuing my goals. It’s a ball of dark energy that grows within like a living entity who’s voice is rooted in self-doubt. At times, it’s a small presence that creeps in during times of growth and change, and other times it takes up all the available space within a dream.
Now, I had another revelation. It’s up to me whether I feed the fear or not. Whatever I feed, that is what will grow. Feed doubt…it will grow. Feed fear…it will grow and take over. Feed hope…and it will grow and flourish within the soul. Feed positivity and it will multiply and overtake the doubt. So what am I going to feed today? It’s my choice.
Today I choose to hope.
To look for the good.
To move forward.
To uplift others.
To be positive.
To dream.
To give.
The truth is, whatever I choose to feed, it not only affects my spirit but all those around me. We all give off energy to others. It lies within how we carry ourselves. The way we smile or don’t smile. They way we react during times of adversity. In the smallest of exchanges between strangers. A hello. Our energy is transferable. We hold the power within to make another’s day a little brighter. It’s a choice. And that’s a ridiculously amazing gift we can give to others.
“People will forget the things you do, and people will forget the things you say. But people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
I wish you much happiness and positivity today! Be good to you.
Recently, my friend Paula tagged me on Facebook to a post on a page called “The Weigh We Were“, created by Kat Carney, who shared my story. Thank you Kat! I was very touched reading everyone’s comments; others just like me who are in various stages of their own journey to reclaim their life.
If you stumbled across my blog and are new here, welcome!
This is me…then. and now.
It was on my heart this morning to write a post to those who are just starting out on their own health journey, or maybe you are struggling within it. I clearly remember the confusion and frustration that surrounded the first few months into this lifestyle. What should I eat, how much should I exercise, is this even working, why does the scale hate me?
As cliché as this sounds, there is no truer statement: If I can do it, anyone can.
A little over a decade ago, when I made the decision to tackle my health issues, I was as sedentary as I could possibly be. I would have picked things up with one of those little robot arms if I had one. I would scooter places if I in fact owned a scooter. I would have jumped on the back of anyone climbing stairs if it was socially acceptable. You see..I don’t know how I got there, I somehow lost myself within raising kids, working, and juggling responsibilities as my hubby worked away for weeks at a time. I buried it all within food, never in front of anyone. I shut people out. I was in my own self-created world of self-loathing. I lived within a frame that I didn’t feel was my own. I felt trapped and alone. I didn’t see then that I had a “get out of jail free” card right at my finger tips. I didn’t know the strength of my spirit.
I can remember every single feeling from that old life, and that’s why I’m so passionate about uplifting, encouraging, and motivating others who just might relate. So if you can relate, here are a few words of encouragement from my heart to yours…
~You can absolutely do this! If your goal is a big one, please don’t get discouraged. Break it up into small manageable goals and give yourself permission to feel pride. True pride that you earned. Small step or not, it’s a step forward. Any step forward is a positive one.
~Positive Out, Positive In. When you put out the positive it just can’t help but come back to you. Rather than looking for positive, it’s completely within your control to create it. Just be. And then watch how positivity comes flooding back multiplied. It’s crazy how that works, but it does.
~No more making excuses for destructive behaviour. This was a big one for me. I always had an excuse why it wasn’t the right time or I would blame others for my choices. I’m too busy. My kids need me. I have no energy. Others bring junk food into my house. And on and on the wheel of excuses rolled. When I made no room for excuses, I had no other choice but to just do it. Get off the couch and move. Stop eating my issues way. Because the truth was, and continues to be, my kids need me to be healthy. They need me to have energy (which I now realize I created the no-energy state I used to live in). And most importantly they need me to be a role model. The idea that my kids would one day grow up and not truly experience the beauty of life within love, energy, and vibrance is a devastating thought. Why was I settling for that as my reality? What was I scared of?
~Change the way you view your goals. It’s importantly to have tangible and attainable goals, but what exactly are they? If it’s a certain size or number on the scale, that leaves you vulnerable to failure. What if you changed your goals to healthy/fitness goals? Even if your end goal is a number on the scale, if you incorporate health and fitness goals as well and put significance on them, you are setting yourself up for success. These goals might be: run for 1 minute straight…which turns into 2 minutes, to 5 minutes, to 10 minutes, etc. Or I will drink 8 glasses of water daily. Or I will walk 12,000 steps daily. Or I will eat 5-7 servings of veggies daily. Or I will cut out pop and creamer in my coffee…pick your healthy goal. You can literally be successful several times a day, and before you know it these goals just become a way of life. A lifestyle that feeds your energy and spirit and you can’t handle the thought of going back to your old lifestyle. It’s simply not an option.
Real change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing ~ Tony Robbins
~You are enough. You are worthy. You are beautiful, vibrant, intelligent. Start looking at yourself through the eyes of those you love most. Start talking to yourself just as you talk to your kids, your partner, your friends and family. Negative self-talk can crush the spirit. Anytime a negative thought pops into your head, replace it with positivity. Remember you are in control of this aspect. Take back that power. You want a different lifestyle…then go after it. No waiting. No excuses. Create the life you desire.
Have a great day! Drop me a line if you need support or have questions.
Many years ago when I started my photography business, I believed I was technically awesome. I knew my shit. I just loved taking photos and I was proud of what I captured. I was one kick-ass photographer.
Fast forward to many years later, I was building a portfolio for my website. I went through all of my old “awesome” work, and guess what? It was shit technically…a humbling and eye-opening realization. ha! How did I not know? How did I use to look at these photos and not see the areas I needed to improve? It wasn’t until I shoved my annoying ego to the side and invested in learning that I gained a new set of eyeballs. 😉 These new eyeballs are quite the opposite, I see areas needing of improvement with every shoot…which in the end will allow me to grow within my work.
That same principle has been proven within many areas of my life. My faith and spirit has evolved as I’ve invested in growing and learning. Life is an evolving journey of continual growth, wisdom and knowledge. The stagnant areas settle within ego…believing there is nothing else to learn or understand about a certain area.
One of the main reasons why I held onto the extra weight for so many years lies within the theory of low self-efficacy. Psychologist Albert Bandura (fellow Albertan!) has defined self-efficacy as one’s belief in one’s ability to succeed in specific situations. I truly didn’t believe I could do it. I constructed a difficult labyrinth within my mind that prevented even the slightest bit of progress. I quit before I even started. Those old eyeballs saw nothing but obstacles. I had resigned myself to living within a frame that I had difficulty moving physically.
I try to think back to the moment when I gained new eyeballs in this area…I really can’t pinpoint it. Just as I can’t pinpoint when I realized I was lacking technical knowledge within photography. I do know I dropped my ego and committed to learning. Research. Reading. Asking questions from others who had undergone a similar journey. And I used a healthy dose of imagination…I visualized reaching my goals. I shifted focus from the labyrinth of difficulty to seeing a new me. A better version of me who believed in herself.
The mind is our most powerful tool.
If you are reading this thinking about the areas you wish you can change, stop wishing and start doing. You absolutely can accomplish your goals, but do you believe you can? Before you know it, you just may look at life, circumstances, your past, relationships, and your goals with a brand new set of eyeballs. 😉
Ten years ago today I stepped on the scale after a year and a half of working hard towards my goal of shedding 90 pounds. That magical number popped up on the scale…my goal weight. It was the end of one journey and the start of another. I left the euphoric world of losing and started into the unknown…how would I maintain this for the rest of my life? If you look at the long-term weight loss stats, it’s a little daunting…maintaining is tricky bidness. You see fat cells…they don’t fade away into the night, they shrink…but they remain.
After a decade of the maintaining world, here’s what I want you to know!
These past 10 years have been such a gift, I struggle to find the words to articulate just how amazing it is to find that zest for life that I had once lost.
The novelty still hasn’t worn off to be able to walk into a store and buy clothes off the rack.
I hold my head high because I’ve embraced confidence. I’ve let go of perfection and accepted vulnerability. I wish I had known that feeling when I was at my heaviest. I wish the old me loved herself.
You see confidence does not come within a size of clothing, it arrives subtly as I treat my body with the respect and the care it deserves (just as I treat those I love).
I find that self-respect within staying active, running in the sun, lifting heavy and then a little heavier the next week, within vibrant coloured foods packed full of nutrients and vitamins. The kind of food that give me energy.
I want you to know that the maintaining world isn’t that daunting at all. It’s just life. When you change your lifestyle, it just becomes the style in which you love to live your life. I’m so thankful I found it.
For years, the only place I felt comfortable working out was in the comfort and safety of my home. Now that I’ve taken my workouts to the gym, I look back and wonder why I thought the gym was so intimidating. I’ve given this a lot of thought so I could pass on some encouragement to others who also struggle with Gym intimidation.
So here are the reasons why I know I have every right to workout in the gym along with everyone else. Just as you do.
1. I pay the same membership fees as everyone else. Why is their money more worthy of gym space? The gym is just a place to go to sweat. It’s not a place for fit people to meet and admire the fitness that is apparent within their chiselled physique. lol! You pay, I pay, we all pay. It’s all the same moneys. Sweat freely my friends.
2. No one cares how sweaty you are. Seriously, no one cares. In fact, if I see a person drenched in sweat, red-faced, out-of-breath it makes me work harder and all I feel is mad respect for their perseverance. In fact, I make a point of encouraging them because who doesn’t like to be encouraged and respected? Yesterday, I watched an older gentleman crack out chin ups like gravity was no big thang, and as I walked by I said to him “Wow, Impressive!” ha! I seriously was so impressed I couldn’t keep the thought from escaping my mouth-hole. Then his wife did the same! Wowzers.
3. Plug into your iPod. Before I get to the gym, I go onto http://8tracks.com and find a playlist for my workout. It depends on my mood, and if I’m doing cardio, weight training, or both. I turn up my music and zone out. I occasionally break out into subtle awkward swaying dance. It’s as subtle as it is awkward. Most everyone else is in their own little music zone too. Even if they are looking around between sets, it’s because they are formulating their next exercise.
4. There’s no set demographic at the gym. If you regularly go to the gym and pay attention, you will see every shape, size, age, and ability. There are no classes there. No rank of importance. We are all the same, that’s what I love most about it. It’s my safe zone where I feel accepted no matter what level of fitness I’m at. Because really, go back to #2. No one cares about your workout, they only care about their own.
5. You will work harder at the gym. You will. At home, I’m distracted by my kids, my dog who is always under-foot (I swear one day he’ll be my demise on a set of stairs), phone calls, door bells, laundry piles. When I hold a plank, I see dust bunnies under couches and then my head starts to wander into to-do lists. There are so many distractions there, home is where my responsibilities live. At the gym, once I scan my card, that’s my time. Since I made the effort to pack up my gym bag, throw on some runners, drive or bike there…I have no excuse but to get to work and make the most of my time.
6. Sweat with style and variety…Where else can you go, that has a variety of high-end equipment at your finger tips? Sure, you can fill up your home-gym with a few pieces of equipment, but to stock it with variety would be expensive. For the price of a membership or a drop-in fee, you can try different types of cardio, strength training, classes, TRX, free-weights, machines…it’s all right there. Don’t know how to use the machines? Most gyms will give you a free information session and go through each machine. Better yet, hire a trainer. Seriously it was the best investment I ever made. We invest money into our clothing, nights-out, gifts for others, starbucks..but when it comes to our health suddenly the price is too high. Try a 5-10 session package and learn the basics of correct form. You’ll not only gain knowledge, but confidence. Invest in your health.
7. You may just meet some inspiriting people there. If you go to the gym and feel like a fish out of water, just do what I do. Smile. Hold your head high. Be friendly. Before you know it, you have yourself a little gym gang that just happen to go the same time as you. It’s a community of support and respect that I’ve never encountered before. We don’t bother one another during our workout, but we nod or say hi. Wave. The odd chit-chat. An acknowledgement of respect and camaraderie. For an introvert like me, it’s muchly appreciated.
So what are you waiting for? Please don’t feel intimidated by the gym, if you want to go. Just go. You have every right to be there just as I do. And if you see me there, say hi! Wave. Awkwardly sway subtly as music fills your ear holes. Sweat freely lol!
I’ll leave you a whole lot of motivation thanks to the ever inspiring and wise Eric Thomas.
I used to weigh myself daily, sometimes several times a day sadly. I believed I needed something, a quantitative measure of the work I was putting in. I noticed something though, my moods arose and fell within that number. If it was what I wanted to see, my food choices changed (for the worse actually) and if the number was too high, I restricted too much. I placed self-value on 3 digits. Three insignificant numbers that had nothing to do with who I am as a person.
In 2013, I decided to only weigh myself once a month. At the first of every month, I stepped on my nemesis and logged the number. That one day would hold with it either a sense of pride or a feeling of failure. But I learned to move on quickly. The days in between contained the lifestyle I have come to love.
Last month as I was logging my weight, I noticed something. For the past two years my weight has gone up and down within the same 10 pounds range in the exact same months. Huh. So I started thinking about it, why is my weight the same during specific times of the year?
It’s because of the natural ebbs and flows of my life.
January’s weight gain is full of family love and Christmas cheer. Of buns rising on the table in the dappled light. Of gifts of baking from neighbours, friends and family. Of turkey, and stuffing, and cheersing to the year ahead. Of hibernation within the dark days.
March to April’s weight loss is full of runs in the sun and extra time to focus on the love of fitness. Of biking through puddles and jumping over patches of ice.
July to August’s weight gain is overflowing with campfire smores, BBQ’s and lazy boating days with full coolers and even fuller hearts as family set aside time to be together. Of walking paths of green a little slower to smell the flowers. Of passing twizzlers down the row of sunbathing sisters as we watch our kids play together on the beach.
Now that I’ve transitioned from diet mentality to Lifestyle, from losing to maintaining…I can relax a little and enjoy this journey without a critical mind.
This. Is. Life. My crazy, active, foodie, busy life.
This May marks 10 years at my goal weight. Just as there are ebbs and flows within relationships this too is the same. It is pointless to feel guilt followed by pride followed by guilt when there is so much life to be lived without worrying about what a scale says. I don’t need a measure in all reality. I need balance. I need authentic personal connection. As much as I absolutely love fitness (which I sure do), I also love sharing a lovingly prepared meal with those I love. No guilt attached, I know that I will run it off at some point because I’m committed to this lifestyle…so chill.
For every sunset there’s a sunrise, for every argument with someone you love there’s forgiveness and moving forward, for every season of indulgence and rest there’s a season of work and tenacity.
I’m thankful for life’s Ebbs and Flows for it brings balance.
Reclaiming LIFE 