Category: Life is good

Challenging Old Beliefs

Published on by Christine8 Comments

It’s true in life there are some things that are out of our control, but there are also many things that are absolutely in our control. The key is to discern between the two.

There were so many things in my life that I thought I couldn’t do.  For example, I convinced myself I couldn’t run a 10K. I woke up one day and actually said aloud “Why can’t I? Who says I can’t?”  Well, I said I couldn’t.  I thought I wasn’t athletic or a runner. Why did I think that?  Because I was living in an old belief. I believed that I would always be uncomfortable in my own skin. I believed that I was too big to run.  When I was growing up, I was raised on a farm which was 20 minutes from town.  My mom worked full-time opening a business, and so I wasn’t into organized sports. Having said that, I also didn’t want to be either. I believed that I wasn’t athletic. It just wasn’t my reality.

Bull shit!!!

Recently I was attempting to do two sets of tricep push ups….well I could only get through one set. I find tricep push ups so tough to do. I was immediately discouraged. How was I going to be able to do two sets when I had a hard time getting  through one set?  You know how?  I just have to keep at it!  I have to continue to challenge my muscles, and guess what…I will get stronger!  It’s a fact.

It’s the same with one’s mind-set.  If you are replaying the same old beliefs in your mind, and it’s not serving you in any way, the way to overcome it is to challenge that belief.  Keep challenging it.  When your mind says “I can’t”, then you need to challenge it.  Why can’t you?  Who says you can’t?  WHY do you believe you can’t…get the heart of the tired belief. Most often than not, it’s our own mind that says we can’t do something and it’s based on a past belief that no longer holds truth for us (and did it ever hold any truth in the first place?!).

I have many old beliefs. I have started leaving sticky notes on the mirror at the gym.   They say something different each time.

“You are more powerful than you even realize”.

“You are enough.”

“You are beautiful. Be good to you.”

I have no idea who notices them or if it affects anyone, but I do know that if I was looking at those notes before starting my work out, it would lift me up and start things off on a positive. They challenge inner-beliefs that I struggle with.  I do realize this is a bit odd. But, I keep writing those pick me up notes in the off-chance someone else struggles and needs to hear it.

Also, most recently I have decided to embrace my odd, geeky side! Hey, it’s part of who I am. Authenticity builds relationships of trust, value, & respect. So just be you. We are all flawed. It’s OK, because it’s honest & refreshing in all actuality 🙂  Maybe it’s weird to write strangers sticky notes who I never actually see reading them (unless I hide behind the garbage can which is a weird stretch even for me).  Whatever, I’m weird. I write pick-me-up sticky notes because my heart tells me to.  ha ha

The other day as I was getting ready in front of my mirror I thought to myself “I hate my legs.” I had to snap myself out of it, as much as I have challenged those old beliefs, they still crop up from time to time.  My next thought was, if I truly believed I hate my legs, then I should have no problem approaching someone who’s in a wheel chair and say “hey, how are ya? Do you know that I hate my legs.”  Humbling moment. I’m thankful that I have healthy legs. I’m so excited to ride my new bike.  Bring on the sun and cleared biking paths! 🙂

Be good to you. You are worthy. You are enough.  Challenge those tired old beliefs. Forget about status quo.  Give yourself permission to really look within your own heart and follow the path that is right for you. Trust yourself to make the healthy choices that lift you up.

And then when you are in a place of strength, you spread the love.  Love, strength, and positivity are contagious.  🙂

From my heart to yours,

Christine

I Don’t Know Who This Post is For

Published on by Christine8 Comments

I don’t know who this post is for.  Have you ever had a day where so many experiences and interactions lead to the same message, the same life lesson, the same thought?

That happened to me this morning! Six times!  I feel compelled to share the thoughts that replayed in my head over and over today.  Something else would happen and there  it was….the same message once again!  Maybe this post is for you.  Maybe it’s from God to me.  I don’t know!

But here it is…

Make the time to lift others up.  If you are spending time with someone you care about and an appreciative thought pops into your head…tell them. Immediately tell them.  Don’t leave it in. Don’t take for granted that they know how you feel, or that you appreciate them.  Any little sincere thought of gratitude, recognition, or acknowledgment that you think about another person, deserves to come out and land in their ear!  ha ha

There is so much power in uplifting sincere words. It doesn’t have to be over the top, even the smallest of appreciations goes a long way.  Sometimes we just take for granted that there will be the right time, or a good moment to say what we want to say to those we love.  Appreciate today. Appreciate those in your life right now, at this moment.  Who knows how many tomorrows we will have.  I’m not trying to be dramatic, but it’s true. Life can change in the blink of an eye.

I have always loved this quote.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” –Leo Buscaglia

Share the love! I do know that this message is for me (and perhaps for someone else out there as well.)  There are times when I think something complementary about someone else, but I don’t say it. Why? Maybe because I don’t want them to think I’m a weirdo who loves to flatter.   Some people truly aren’t comfortable with complimentary words; however, sincere appreciation for a loved one is a gift worth sharing.  In return, take the compliment as it was intended. Soak up the love!  I’m going to just blurt it out when an appreciative thought pops into my head now…just a warning for those I love. ha ha!  🙂

Thank you for your love, support, comments, e-mails, notes, and conversations.  They truly do mean so much to me.  I’m so grateful for my friends and family!

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Meditation

Published on by Christine8 Comments

I have always wanted to learn how to meditate, however my mind is always going…thinking, thinking, thinking.  The days are so busy, how am I going to etch out some time to be silent in the middle of hectic?  Take today for example (and as I write this it’s not quite 2 p.m.)

I woke up this morning to my hubby whispering good-bye in my ear. The room was still dark, must have been really early.  The night before we had joked that I never say anything back to him when he says his daily good-byes. In my morning slumber, I believe I do so this morning I make sure I repeat everything he said to me…attempting to say it at the exact same time. We laughed and I went back to sleep. I was awoken thirty minutes later to the sounds of my dog Teddy frantically barking as my son was playing with him in the living room. My daughter soon joined in, and within a few minutes there was the familiar song of sibling rivalry going on. Wiping sleep from my eyes, I dragged my weary legs to the kitchen to make breakfast for all three kids.  They know not to talk to me first thing in the morning, they know to give me at least 10 minutes before any demands are made. Robotically, I spread peanut butter and jam on their toast. I make coffee. I need coffee.

The pace turned hectic as we rushed to get out the door for school.  Homework to be found, socks to be matched, clothes and hair to be fixed.  “Mom I can only find one mitt, oh and sign this sheet, also I need 2 cups of chocolate covered raisins by tomorrow for a cooking project.” my son yells to me.  I think to myself:  “Who cooks with chocolate covered raisins and Why don’t I get my act together and have everything organized the night before?”.  One would think that would make life easier.

I opened the garage door; the chill of winter slapped us across the face as I realized that the deep freeze is still upon us. I told the kids to jump in my car. We are running late. I’m not above driving the two blocks to school just so we don’t have frozen hair and eyelashes today.  There’s a lot of school traffic on cold days. There was a lady waiting to turn left at the school, meaning she had to cross the traffic.  The same traffic that wasn’t moving only because she needed to make a left hand turn. Suburb deadlock.  “Why must you turn left and hold up traffic lady! For the love of chocolate, just turn right and circle the block” I whispered under annoyed breath.  We ran into the school, my finger tips were numb. Kisses, “I love you’s” and “you’re awesome’s” were exchanged.

I returned home to clean up from the morning rush.  I feel tired and the day has just begun. E-mails to answer, phone calls to return, laundry piled up, the house in shambles, my accounting records for 2010 lay open waiting for me to finish them.  “Stop taunting me accounting records. Why must the government need these?” I say out loud. I’m weird like that, I’m a talk-to-yourself-er. I want to go back to bed.  I look up at the clock after the morning errands, and It’s already time to pick up my daughter from Kindergarten. In fact, I have exactly one minute to get back to the school.  I can’t find my keys, why am I so absent-minded?  Rush out the door.

When I get home from picking up my daughter, I have the overwhelming urge to work out.  I don’t like to plan when I’m going to work out, the inner exerciser be-yatch eventually calls out.  I quickly put on my workout gear, lace up my runners, grab my iPhone for music, and head to my unfinished basement to my make-shift gym (complete with non-drywalled walls).  My son plays his Xbox downstairs, and there is evidence of a lounging Teenager everywhere. I clean up, muttering under my breath.

Time to run.

I find my power list on my iPod filled with music that is the perfect pace for running. Green Day, Clutch, ACDC, BEP, The Offspring, Rihanna, Muse, The Black Keys.  I take a big gulp of water and turn the treadmill on for a 5 minute warmup walk.  I’m stiff at first, and after my warm up I tell myself I will just run for 10 minutes. I always tell myself that, so I don’t complain. I up the pace to 6.3 and I focus on the same spot on the wall that I’ve stared at for years while I run.

I have no time to  stress about my responsibilities  All I can do is focus on this run, on my breathing, and on the uncomfortable feeling that is creeping into my muscles…travelling up my legs and into my lungs. I want to stop after 10 minutes, but I push that feeling out and convince myself I will run another 10 minutes. I get to 20 minutes, my legs have found their pace. I want to keep going. I want to beat my previous 5K time of under 30 minutes. Time to pick up the pace. I turn it up to 7.0 for 5 minutes (uttering a couple MF’s along the way), and back down to 6.5 for the remainder of the 5K.

The music is timed perfectly to each running step. I feel powerful, like I could do anything I set my mind to.  I feel strong, proud, and in control.  The more uncomfortable I feel, the more I say yes…I can do this. This is just the feeling of being alive.  I can’t explain the feeling that washes over me. It is not comfortable; however I realize, this feeling is PEACE.  Uncomfortable yet peaceful. Because that’s where peace lies for me…in pushing out of my comfort zone, in challenging myself, and in moving on.

While I run, I think about a friend whom I admire. She has found an amazing bright patch of happiness that she’s carved out of darkness. Does she know how amazing she is? There’s no point in keeping the good feelings within. I will tell her how amazing she is, but first I must finish this run in under 30 minutes. 🙂

When I’m done my run, I sit on my weight bench and catch my breath. I reached my daily goal. I’m smiling. I’m happy.

No stress, just strength and peace.

I’m thankful.

Life is actually a lot simpler than I think it is.

I want to continue on my day with this feeling.

Love, love, love.

Peace, peace, peace.

Maybe THIS is my form of meditation.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Sincere Appreciation

Published on by Christine5 Comments

I have to admit, yesterday was a discouraging day for me. You know the kind of day when nothing seems to go right. I decided to try to take control of the discouragement and focus my energy on a kick-me-own ass work out and it did help.

Sometimes I’m patient, other times I have very little patience. I have no patience for the fact I have no patience. You see, I lose track of the big picture.  I want results NOW…especially if I’ve put in a lot of effort towards my goal (insert me at the mirror giving stink-eye to my muscles that aren’t defining themselves as I would expect them to). In the face of discouragement, the temptation is to throw in the towel and say screw it.  Self-sabotage then comes into play which is never good for the ole’ self-image.

At times like these, I would like to share with you a new technique I’ve learned to deal with myself.  Yes, my negative inner banter annoys even myself.

1. Think big picture. If I continue to put in the work, results WILL happen.  It may not happen as quickly as I want it to, but be patient grasshopper.  Wax on, wax off. Keep at it.

2. Never underestimate the power of a positive mind.  Shitty things happen in life. I was watching a TV show where a man was explaining to his mentor that his father had passed away years ago. He continued to mourn the loss of the relationship he didn’t get to have. His mentor looked at him and said “that’s your reality. You don’t get that. You can’t have that. It is what it is. You have to move on.”  It struck me in that moment that there are things in life one can’t change.  What good does it do to dwell on things that I can’t change?  Of course I need to deal with loss and pain, but there is also a time to give myself permission to move forward.  Time to focus on the things in life that I do have, not on the things I don’t have or can’t have because that’s just not my reality. Live in REALITY.

3. If yesterday was a bad day, well lucky for me, there is always tomorrow…which is fresh and new. And guess what, the momentum of good days are more powerful than the momentum of bad days.  That’s something to smile about right there.

4. I often remind myself to smile when my work out gets tough. I’m thankful for how alive I feel inside. The physical pain of a great workout is my body full of life…truly alive.  The smile may look forced, odd, and awkward, but it’s a smile none the less (and I do enjoy me some awkward).

5.  My actions should align with my goals.  My goals have changed over the years. When I was at the beginning of this journey, my goals were mostly about weight loss broken up into small manageable goals. Drink more water, exercise 5 times a week, train my body to appreciate the taste of healthy foods without additives, eat lots of fruits and veggies…you get the picture.  Today, many of those goals are still in place as it’s become a way of life. However, I’ve needed to re-evaluate and set new goals now that I’m in the maintaining world.  When I think about my goals, I must first think about how my actions are contributing to (or preventing me from) reaching my goals.

6. “Sincere Appreciation”: I’ve written that quote on a sticky note and placed it on my computer so I can read it daily. It’s a reminder for me to live life by focusing on the things I sincerely appreciate about those I love, and in turn reminding those amazing people of what is their truth. When you take the time to sincerely uplift others, it’s just good for both hearts.  The important part is the “Sincere” part. I believe we all know when someone is sincere and when they are not. Sincerity is a gift I see in so many of my friends and family members. It allows for connection and authentic relationships, which is a huge blessing.

The big picture is a life full of joy, love, pride, and laughter.

Please treat yourself well, just as you deserve to be treated.  Spend time uplifting those around you that you appreciate. Spread the love, it’s contagious. 🙂

I also want to thank everyone who took the time to comment over the last post. Being that it was completely out of my comfort zone to post that pic, I sure did appreciate the kind comments. You really did lift me up. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Today’s Woman: The Non-Airbrushed Variety

Published on by Christine14 Comments

I was surfing the web and came across a couple of photos of celebrities who were featured on magazine covers.  These covers have obviously been airbrushed.

Kelly Clarkson’s cover caused quite the controversy back in 2009.  “My happy weight changes,” Clarkson says in the September issue of SELF. “Sometimes I eat more; sometimes I play more. I’ll be different sizes all the time. When people talk about my weight, I’m like, ‘You seem to have a problem with it; I don’t. I’m fine!’ I’ve never felt uncomfortable on the red carpet or anything.”  Yet, her cover was obviously airbrushed which I believe she had little control over.

Editor-in-chief of Self Magazine, Lucy Danziger defended the magazine cover. People reports:

“Yes. Of course we do retouching,” Danziger writes in a post on Self.com. “Did we alter her appearance? Only to make her look her personal best.”
Calling Clarkson “the picture of confidence,” Danzinger writes, “I think this photo is the truest we have ever put out there on the newsstand.”

What?! “Only to make her look her personal best”…are you kidding me?  How is this her personal best if she doesn’t ACTUALLY look this way?!  What a crock! Am I supposed to stare at these magazine covers and wish I looked just like them?  If so, I best be opening my Photoshop folks, cause it’s going to take a lot of airbrushing.

I am a Mom of 3. I have a daughter. The idea that the media promotes airbrushed images as a standard of “beauty” is disturbing.  These images are not even REAL. Models are expected to fit a size 0. In reality, the vast majority of today’s women are not a size 0.  I feel an immense responsibility to show my daughter what the true measure of beauty is, and it comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes.  At the same time, I also want to show my daughter what a healthy lifestyle is all about.  A lifestyle of balance, activity, and healthy natural foods. Of course there is always room to enjoy a little dessert too…balance. 🙂

Here is my reality.  I will be turning 35 years old next month.  I have 3 children, and I’ve had 3 c-sections.  The heaviest I have ever been was the day I gave birth to my second son, which happens to be 122 pounds heavier than I am today.  I started the path to lose the weight a few months after I had my second son. From the day I officially made the decision to live a healthier lifestyle, I weighed in at 242 pounds.  Today, I am 150 pounds which means I have lost 92 pounds.

Because of this fact, I have stretch marks and I have extra skin. There is nothing, short of plastic surgery, that will change that. It doesn’t matter how much I work out…you can’t work off extra skin.

Again, I’m going to do something completely out of my comfort zone but I’m going to post a picture of MY belly. The belly that carried around my beautiful kids. At times I am self-conscious. But, in posting this I hope to be less self-conscious…if that makes sense. Because it’s real. It’s obviously not airbrushed. It’s who I am. You can see the lines of my 3 babies who I loved before they were even born and who I dreamed about before they were even conceived. This tummy is a story of where I’ve come from and where I am today.

When I went to Jamaica, I never thought I would actually wear a bikini on the beach. What amazed me when I got there, was that the sunbathers on the beach didn’t care what their bodies looked like. In fact, I actually felt completely at peace with my body. I felt good about myself.

This has been on my mind a lot lately as at times I look in the mirror and pick apart the areas of my body I wish I could change.  Then I snap out of it when I remember that my goal through changing my lifestyle is to be HEALTHY. To be vibrant, full-of-energy, and to hold within my heart a zest for life which involves the mind, body and spirit.

I have spent far too much time in my past struggling to accept the person that I truly am. It’s time to let go and just embrace it. I’m not defined by the size of clothes I wear, or the number on the scale. That really has nothing to do with who I am.

My perspective today is that…

Confidence is beautiful.

Authenticity is beautiful.

Vulnerability and honesty are beautiful.

Sincerity is beautiful.

We are not perfect like the airbrushed Magazine covers, but perfection isn’t reality and thank God for that.

Perfectly Imperfect. We are who we are. View yourself through the eyes of those who love you most.

Be kind to yourself.

Love.

Acceptance.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

A Tribute to my Sister

Published on by Christine6 Comments

A few times through out my blog, I have mentioned my sister Janice. She has Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and has lived with this horrible disease for many years.  Today, she has limited mobility and has a hard time remembering recent events. Ask her about our childhood, and she remembers everything. At family gatherings, she loves to be where the action is. Because of how MS has affected her mind, the anger she’d carried with her for years as her MS was progressively worsening, has now turned into a state of happiness (for lack of a better term).  She laughs a lot when we are together, and I’m not sure if she realizes the full extent of what has happened to her mind.

I see my sister as two separate people now. The Janice before MS (and at the beginning stages of MS), and Janice now…after years of living with MS.

Below: I took this photo in August of 2010. I love this photo because her eyes hold so much joy and compassion.

Because many people see Janice as she is now, they forget or don’t know who Janice was before the MS.

I want you to know who Janice was when she had her health.  I am not taking away from the amazing parts of who Janice is today…I just want to pay tribute to the amazing woman Janice was when I was growing up.  When I say she “had” or she “was”, there are still parts of that personality that lives within Janice.  But I need to use these words because MS has taken so much from Janice.

Janice was full of energy and she loved people. She didn’t like being alone, she always surrounded herself with lots of people. She had a selfless giving heart. She volunteered often within her kid’s school, her community, and her church.  I remember going to visit her in Fox Creek. When I arrived, she showed me to my room. She had purchased magazines she thought I would enjoy, bought me flowers, and had bought all the fixings for home-made subs. We built them together as my nephews played in the living room. She had the whole week-end mapped out with lots of activities which included nightly and morning walks. She loved to walk, she loved to run.

She lived for her boys, for her husband, and for God. She was uplifting and encouraging….always encouraging. She was empathetic and sympathetic.  She was quick to tears if she saw another hurting.  She laughed a lot. She smiled a lot. She talked a lot. ha ha! She used to ask me and my sisters to follow her around the house as she worked so she had someone to talk to. When I think about the sister I knew growing up, I see Janice with a huge smile. A vivacious woman who was always on the run. She loved every minute of that hectic lifestyle as she always gave so much of herself to others without ever expecting one thing in return.

She lived life with so much joy and an infectious energy.  She definitely was an energy-giver.

She loved to bake. She worked in a bakery for a while, and made the most delicious cakes. She made special birthday cakes for her boys, with intricate piping.

She also knows sign language (and to this day she remembers). She worked with hearing impaired youth.  She was also a teacher’s assistant as well.

She lived for others, not for herself. The reason I felt compelled to tell you about Janice today, was because as I was looking through old boxes in storage downstairs, I came across this letter. She wrote it to me in the days after I was dealing with the traumatic event that happened at camp when I was a teenager (click here to read about the event I’m referring to).

When I found this letter, it was like finding a treasure. To read the words of Janice before she had MS was amazing.  It broke my heart to read that she was asking me for forgiveness for the relationship issues we had growing up. There were years in between us, and because of this we grew up at different times, but I was the one that should have been asking for forgiveness. I was a bratty, angry teen. Forgive me Janice, I always looked up to you and respected you. You always showed me love and support. You had, and continue to have a huge part in shaping who I am.  Today, when I go for a run I think of you. I think of how you loved to run and how you would give anything to be able to run again.  Thank you for all you have taught me about life.

We all have times when we take our health for granted. My sister has taught me to never take it for granted. If you can run, then run. If you can walk, then walk. If you can share, then share.

If you can raise your children with the freedom of having your health and you are able to teach them, show them love, and how to live a life full of joy…then teach, love, and live with a grateful heart.

Below: Janice, August 2000.

I love you Janice.

Before I hit publish on this post, I phoned Janice and had a nice chat. I’m thankful for the relationship we have today…full of love, laughter, and respect. I read her the letter I found and she said through laughter “That was a nice letter I wrote you Chris, wasn’t it?!”  Yes it was my dear sister. Thank you.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

The Road from Envy to Acceptance

Published on by Christine2 Comments

When I was at my heaviest, I had a hard time being happy for other’s accomplishments because it reminded me of all the things I wanted to do, but didn’t do. Selfish and Insecure? You bet ya! I tried my best to hide it. If my friend lost a bunch of weight, outwardly I would congratulate, but inwardly…I was green with envy.

I was green with envy on so many levels. There was this beautiful girl who I worked with back when I was at my heaviest. She was tall, blonde, athletic, confident, had perfect teeth, and liked to eat grapes at break time.  I remember looking at her as she delicately popped a grape in her mouth and I thought, “Oh healthy grape girl, how do you get a body like that…by eating grapes?!”  I was frustrated because I just didn’t get what a healthy lifestyle was all about.  I judged her, envied her and convinced myself that she was just naturally born that way. I got the short end of the stick and had a bad metabolism.  I wasn’t taking responsibility for the areas of my life that required change in order to be the woman I wanted to be. It was easier to believe that it was out of my control. I wore blinders for years.

You see, I’m an all or nothing type of person.  If set a goal for myself, I get tunnel vision and there is nothing that will stand in my way of that goal when I put my mind to it. However, it’s all or nothing and if I can’t do it the way I want to…I often won’t do it at all.  Unfortunately, I have come to realize that’s not healthy because I need a life of balance.  That’s why the saying “Progress, Not Perfection” is something I think about often.

Fast forward to my losing the weight days…exercise, research, eating healthy, getting off the couch and going outside, stepping out of my comfort zone, figuring out who I was…the good and the bad. I realized that as I made positive changes in my life and as my self-confidence grew I became genuinely happy for other’s accomplishments rather than envious.

I am not proud of the fact I was so envious of others when I lacked self-confidence. I wanted to change that with every fibre of my being, but I didn’t understand that I needed to figure out who I was, rather than focussing on the accomplishments of others.  I believe that when you figure out your own path, you can then truly accept, respect, and feel happy for another’s path, even if it differs from your own.  Sincere acceptance of others is a true blessing!

Just because something works for me, doesn’t mean it will work for you.  That’s true in all areas of life. There are many roads that one can take to arrive at the same destination.

I hold onto these personal truths:

If I want to be happy, I need to find those things in life that bring me the most happiness and let go of those things that do the opposite.

Different is interesting.

Authenticity is refreshing.

Giving is so good for the soul, especially when you want nothing in return.

Acceptance and Respect goes a long way. When you give it, you get it in return maybe not from everyone, but that’s OK.  Just let that be OK. I can choose who I trust and allow into my life.

I can’t change others. I can only change ME and that’s an amazing fact of life.

A thankful heart often comes down to perception.

It feels good to let go and just be ridiculous, silly, and carefree. Not everyone has to “get” me, but I’m so thankful for those in my life that do. You are food for my soul!

It’s OK to show weakness. It’s part of the human condition and it gives others permission to show their insecurities and faults to me.  And imperfect is refreshing in my eyes.

There is beauty in flaws.

The hard times become defining times and I’m thankful for them because they force me to grow and bring clarity to my life.  There is beauty in the break down.

A smile and laugh is contagious.

Appreciation doesn’t mean a whole lot unless it’s sincere.

Get Real.

Find and continue to search for those things that make me feel full of life within. I had a moment during my workout last week when I realized the reason I love to work out is because I feel so much during the work out and feel even more when I’m done.  It’s not always good feelings! Sometimes it’s full of physical pain, but make no mistake about it, I feel alive inside when I work out.

Dancing like an idiot is fun. It just is.

I will leave you with a song that my friend T. share with me that made me break out into awkward spontaneous dance. Most music videos are now restricted from playback here, so you will have to click to “Watch on YouTube”.  Go ahead…dance like an idiot. It’s good for the soul. 🙂

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Love Lives within the Memories

Published on by Christine4 Comments

The night before my father’s surgery, I could tell there was so  much on his mind that he couldn’t put into words.  It was late, we were all tired, and he stood up and announced he had to go to bed.  As we made our way down to the kitchen, he looked at my sister, my mom, and me and said: “I need you to help me write a will.”

We sat down together at the kitchen table, and my sister wrote as he expressed his wishes.  We understood that this was something that he needed to do as he was about to go into surgery and there are always risks with any surgery.  He wondered aloud just how detailed he should get.

But it brought forward some important reminders as I watched him struggle with what to include in his last will and testament.  I stood up and walked to the kitchen and pulled off a small little bear that sits by my windowsill.  I showed him the bear and told him this was my memory of  Grandma Perkins.

It’s not the bear itself that holds value, but rather the memory of my Grandma within it.  When I look at it, I can remember where it sat in her kitchen and the entire picture of her kitchen floods my mind…building detail the longer I hold onto that memory. It’s where she spent most of her time: cooking Sunday dinners of Roast Beef, potatoes, peas, the best brown gravy, and a Cherry or an Apple Pie for dessert.  I can remember her washing dishes with this little bear hanging off to the side of the sink. I can remember playing card games with her at the kitchen table. I can remember the progression of her smile when she looked at us Grandkids, a small glint of joy that transformed into an all out grin that held so much love and pride.

The bear is  meaningful to me, because my Grandmother created that memory for me.  She told me it was special, and would let me hold it once and awhile, but it always had to be returned to its home above the sink.  Now the bear lives above my sink and I tell my kids the same thing.

I was reminded of how important it is to create unique memories for my kids. I need to slow down. I need to focus on relationships.

What I value and hold dear about my father lives within summer holidays where we sit around a fire. It’s within the hour before the sun sets when we raid his raspberry patch.  It’s within the conversations we have while doing rounds in the combine at Harvest. It lives within his laughter when he gets a kick out of something.

Sometimes I lose track of what is truly important in life.  A big part of Reclaiming my life means finding balance within the mind, body, and soul so I can be the very best Mom I can be.  When you love yourself, it is then that you can truly love others and you can give without expectations of anything in return.  Life is about giving, loving, dreaming, growing, sharing, and moving forward.

It’s true that the important things in life aren’t things at all.

This was something that was on my heart this morning, so I thought I would share it with you.  Life is good.  My focus for this year will be on those I love, and I pray that I always remember to give more than I take.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

That Feeling

Published on by Christine4 Comments

A dear friend of mine whom I’ve known and loved for years, asked me how I got to the point of where I am today of keeping the weight off.  I’ve always described to her that it’s a feeling, a stat-of-being that I can’t put my finger on and it’s difficult to describe through words, but you’ll know it when you get there.  It’s not a formula of exactly what to eat and how much to exercise.  It comes from within.

I’ve watched her transform as well over the past year.  She’s growing and changing and it’s been amazing to witness.  As we talked on the phone yesterday, she described to me how powerful she felt, how she felt self-respect, and self-confidence and didn’t quite know how she arrived there, but she felt it.  Eureka!  She’s there!  It was one of those moments that happen in life that you know you will always remember.  She’s on her own path of self-discovery!

That moment happened for me when I still had quite a lot of weight to lose.  I was still in the 200’s, but I knew with all of my being that I would reach my goal weight and keep it off this time.  I may have been far from my goal, but I already felt like I had arrived.  It was just a matter of time. Over my 20’s I had tried quite a few ways to lose the weight, but none of them felt sustainable and my drive and desire gave way to defeat.  Which, in turn gave way to eating more, moving less, and gaining even more weight than before.

So how can I explain the difference this time around?  The big change for me was that the positives of getting this part of my life under control outweighed the negatives of staying as I was. I was miserable, uncomfortable in my own body, and lacked self-confidence.  The drive and desire came from a place of refusing to no longer live life like I had in the past.

I truly didn’t feel strong enough to tackle what I knew would be a huge undertaking to lose 90 plus pounds, so I didn’t view it that way.  I set out a range of goal weights, the first being under 200, then second being 185, the third being 170, and finally the last goal weight of 165.  My weight just naturally settled at 150 by way of my lifestyle.

There are many ways you can choose to eat and exercise. I LOATHED exercising at one time, because I didn’t feel anything within.  It was just a chunk of time that I sweated my butt off, but I hated every minute of it.  It was that way at the beginning of my journey as well, but this time I forced through it because my mind was clear on my goals and my desire to move forward was strong.  There was no more excuses, no more “I’ll deal with it later”.

Before I knew it (it truly doesn’t take long), I could feel my mind and body getting stronger.  I was more coordinated.  I was more confident.  The negative inner banter fizzled away and was replaced with positive, because didn’t I deserve to be the woman I always wanted to be?

The mind is the most powerful tool, and to me it’s the one factor between success or failure towards a goal of any kind.  There’s no room for “I can’t”, or “maybe tomorrow”.  The time is right now because you say so.  When you change those thought patters, the weight will come off, make no mistake about it.

I’m not sure if I articulated what that feeling is, but I will tell you this…It’s amazing!  It transfers into all areas of life.  It turns the discouraged into the encouraged. But one of the greatest rewards is it turns one into an encourager of others.  Recently a friend told me I had the gift of encouragement (thank you!). I never looked at it that way before, but it truly is important to me to encourage and lift up others as I will always remember what it felt like to be stuck in a place where I didn’t feel that within.

From my heart to yours,

Christine

Live and Let Live

Published on by Christine3 Comments

I usually run from conflict. I hate it.  Conflict gives me hives. It’s a part of life however, and you can’t always run from it.  Sometimes friends have a difference of opinion that they are both equally passionate about, but that doesn’t mean you love them any less.

I’m struggling how to write this post, because I do respect other’s beliefs and opinions.  I have very concrete beliefs and opinions myself.  But I do hope you all know that this blog is not about forcing my opinions onto others.  This blog is just a collections of insights and life lessons I’ve learned over the past 7 years as I worked to lose the weight and to keep it off.  This blog is not a platform for my faith.  I respect that we all have our own belief systems.

Having said that, I want you to know that I choose to Live and Let Live.

I don’t care who you love, what you look like, or what faith you are.  I accept my friends just the way they are and I won’t attempt to change your beliefs which are as sacred to you as my beliefs are to me.  That’s not to say I don’t have conversations about a difference of beliefs with my friends, but it usually evolves organically with a mutual respect for where the other is coming from.

This blog is about Reclaiming MY Life.  My intention with sharing these insights has always been to encourage and uplift others who may have similar struggles as I do.  I have chosen to show  not only the positive side of my life, but also some of the struggles and trials of my life as well.

Now, let me tell you it’s not easy to show vulnerability and sometimes it kinda feels like I forgot to put pants on in the morning and I only realized it while standing in the mirror department of Wal-Mart.  But, the reason I show that side is I don’t want you to think that my life is full of roses and sunshine since I lost the weight.  It’s not.  I’ve also experienced times in my life when I looked at another  woman and thought: what’s wrong with me, how is she so put together and I’m not!?

When I was at my heaviest I used to think “if only I could be thin, THEN I would be happy.”  Guess what, when I lost the weight I learned that although some of my struggles may have changed, I still had (and still have) a lot to deal with.

I realized that I put on the weight not just because I liked food, but also for protection as well.  I liked feeling invisible for many different reasons.  I didn’t voice my opinions, I chose to stay silent and didn’t really get to know others all that well.

I had to relearn what it is to share, to open up, to be vulnerable, to show my weakness, and my insecurities.  I am flawed, but I am not broken.  We are all flawed and imperfect.  That is what it is to be human.

The greatest blessing I have felt since sharing however, is it has given those that know me (and some that don’t know me…which is awesome) permission to do the same, because they know they are safe to do so.

So my opinion is to Live and Let Live.  You may not share the same outlook on life, and that’s absolutely your right.  But, since this is my blog, and I chose what I write about…I will say it once more…

Live and Let Live.

From my heart to yours,

Christine