Today, I ask that I speak with intention and bring peace and understanding into my interactions. Within seeking my goals and purpose, I loose a thread of understanding within the fabric of this life…to live that purpose within the stage I’m currently in. The now.
Us humans always want “more“. We get lost in the pit of not enough.
But what if the job, the social network, the family, the stuff that fills a home, the car, the frame we currently walk around in, the clothes on our back…whatever it is that makes up our current life..is enough. And what if it was taken away? Then what value does it have?
There is always someone less fortunate that you. Always. Whether that’s within skill, emotional development, health, or wealth.
Perspective…
The body you have now is someone else’s goal. And that can come down to the ability to walk, run, or simply move. The legs you wish were smaller, another does not have the ability to move on their own.
The children you raise, is another’s heart’s desire.
The partner you dismiss or ignore is another’s wish for one last moment with theirs.
The annoying tasks in life such as grocery shopping, doing laundry, standing in line at a bank to deposit a pay check…taking care of life’s little responsibilities…is a flicker in the eye of a past that once was to someone who lost it all.
The good health you wake up with, is yearned for by another in a hospital bed.
So in framing it all in that way, maybe this place I’m in right this second is part of a bigger plan, or maybe it is the plan.
Can I be humble to recognize the priceless quality within my many blessings?
Can I be thankful for the work required to keep this life, this body, these relationships, this home that keeps us safe and warm running on quality?
Can I find purpose within the ordinary?
Can I be the example to my children they deserve?
Am I giving my all to the job I have right now?
Can I have the courage to let go of the elements that do not support my happiness and self-worth? And can I release those elements with love for all that I learned (that is the better question)
We all have gifts, use them as a way to enrich this beautiful life for others.
It’s not in “what can I get“, but rather, “what can I give” that enriches not just my soul, but others.
If you can make another laugh or smile. Do that!
If you can teach, then teach.
If you have learned valuable lessons found within some of your toughest life challenges…ask that you use those for purpose. I promise you life will bring to you someone who desperately needs that knowledge and understanding in their right timing.
There is always beauty in the present if you open your eyes.
I will remember this as I go into holidays this summer. To enjoy time with my family camping, and be grateful that I can actually take that time to build more memories.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have started my day by asking 2 questions which have translated into more knowledge, faith, and in turn action.
These two questions, while they sound similar, are actually very different within their intention.
What do I need to know today? Show me.
What do I need to learn today? Show me.
Show me what I need to know…
There is a rooted knowledge within which is an inner strength…your intuition. A flame that’s always ablaze although at times it may feel like just a flicker. You know what you know. It’s a part of your being and it’s strengthened through your experiences/choices. Your value systems live within your intuition. While you may be open-minded to other’s points of view, your intuition will always guide you to what is right for you…if you listen.
Asking: What do I need to know today? is like asking for your intuition to kick into overdrive so you take the right path for you and in turn those who depend on you.
Show me what I need to learn…
There are elements within each facet of life which require more knowledge to truly find fulfillment.
Careers, relationships, parenting, health & fitness, etc.
Like when you start a new job; Obviously there is a learning curve that you will climb if you seek knowledge and put in the work to retain the information.
Listen.
Observe.
Learn.
Retain.
You can approach life the very same way. By putting out the intention that you are hungry for knowledge and willing to learn, I promise you…life will hand you lessons all day. It’s crazy how that works. Please try it. I would love some company in this experiment. 😉
Those lessons will come to you through opportunities, people, circumstances, challenges, and adversity. It will be uncomfortable. Sorry, but it will.
At one time, I was disillusioned with thinking if I put out good, I would always receive good in return. While a whole lot of good came my way, there was also a whole lot of shit too (for lack of a better word).
It dawned on me, that all the tricky stuff carries with it something I need to know and something I need to learn. I’m talking about lessons about myself…not others. I can only change me.
You do you. I do me.
And I will take responsibility for my life, and the steps I take to reclaim it. Onus on moi.
Step back.
Look at the big picture.
I have this 2 and 5 year plan. I have always been a goal setter, but my goals have changed to quality of life and I have taken time to name what makes my life feel rich in fulfillment of mind, body, spirit.
Quality: High standards. Rich in experiences. Focussed on values, and the hierarchy of those values. Conscious choices. Top shelf living. Intentional and with care.
When I started asking those two questions, it also came with the realization that there’s so much I don’t “know” and need to learn. Surrender to that humility. Be humble within my inner strength and areas requiring growth.
As simple as it sounds to start the day with those two questions…which it is…I was blown away with the experiences that came my way. Almost immediately. I could write several post about it, but to simplify…here’s a few.
~I was approached at work (bank job) with specific areas I could grow and be more successful at reaching my targets. Not just broad suggestions/ideals, tangible skill-sets that allowed me to exceed those targets and gain constructive feedback. It’s a very empowering feeling to have knowledge that can translate to success within your career. It builds confidence and you just walk a ‘lil taller.
Show me what I need to learn: If you seek knowledge, opportunities will come to you. Ask questions, and even more comes your way. Ask the right questions, be specific.
~A bunch of things broke down in my home, and I had to find ways to structure my budget to pay for those things. It made me more hungry because it came from necessity…not just “want”. We are not talking “mamma needs a new pair of shoes” here, we are talking about plumbing, transportation, and a roof over my head…literally I need shingles. ha!
That very month, I booked more photography sessions than I have in the earlier 4 months combined. The right people came to me at the right time and it worked perfectly into all of our schedules. I also feel fulfillment in giving them photos/memories while being able to better support my family. At the same time, I learned ways to save and be smart with my money via bank job. I learned to ask for help, which is intensely uncomfortable for me. Like level 10 discomfort.
Show me what I need to know: There’s a simple beauty within the moving parts of synchronicity. Trust in myself and my abilities. It will all be taken care of. I have a support system. I don’t have to do it all alone.
~The other day at my bank job, a woman came to my wicket whom I’ve served before. She has the most beautiful joyful vibe. She wore a bright tie dyed shirt, a big wicker brimmed sun hat, and a smile that lit up the entire place. She is rich in experiences and many years my senior. I respect her, and I hardly know her. We look eyeball to eyeball when we talk; and there’s always a smile that travels right to our eyes. After her transaction, she said to me: “You remembered what I told you weeks ago about my travels, my family. Thank you for your care. You have a very peaceful loving spirit”
Show me what I need to know: The true joy of life is connecting with another in a pure way through genuine care. Good eye contact, a sincere conversation where you are actually investing in learning about another. Loving kindness. It matters…oh yes it does. The gift of time and attentive interaction, even if it’s for a few minutes, is important and felt by others. One spirit to another.
I challenge you to ask those 2 questions before you start your day today. And then open up those beautiful eyes and take it all in. Let those life lessons pour in and enjoy the change of life’s trajectory. Top shelf.
I missed my 13 year anniversary of reaching my goal weight as I went away to the lake to visit family. Last year was the year of Law of Attraction (thankful that has continued) and this was the year of Course Correction.
Keeping with tradition, here’s a few lessons I learned in year 13. I’m going to write this just as I would in my morning journal. Like a little wisdom letter from present me to past me (and hope for future me).
Course Correction
Time is a gift. Use it wisely. If something within my life isn’t working, correct my course. Even if it’s a small correction…it has the power to eventually change my entire trajectory. Align my actions with my values. I already know what those are.
Develop and Trust My Instincts
Listen to that inner voice within that guides me. Make good choices. Choices that matter! In order to truly listen and tune into that inner voice, I have to build it. I have learned that meditation, prayer and quiet time can strengthen instinct. Ask questions, be still and listen. Tune out distractions. Observe and pay attention.
Carve Out “Me Time”
Stop being addicted to busy. Busy is the new buzz word. “I’m soooo busy”. Ok, so is everyone else. But there’s always time for what’s important. And it is also important to take time for myself. Even if that means getting up earlier. Learn to centre myself so that no matter where I am, I can bring back that sense of peace and calm. Create my own little zen zone. Within my home and within my mind.
Be Quiet
This is still tricky for me! I adore good conversation. The kind that makes me think and re-evaluate my position. Question my past thought patterns. I respect those who make me think (and if you make me laugh, that’s double adore). But sometimes, I get so caught up in formulating a response, I miss the point. I also enjoy those who check me when I’m not listening. Thank you. So Listen to understand. Be quiet. Someone once told me that because they were so shy and reserved, they found out so much information about others because most people are uncomfortable with silence. They will fill it with truth talk. Be. Quiet.
Love is Not Attachment
Oooh this one almost needs it’s own dedicated post. But it’s all about knowing my worth and loving others purely without conditions. Giving others freedom to walk away if they wish, and because I value myself, my worth is not dependant on another. When others walk….is there sadness? Will I miss them? Sure. But that doesn’t mean I feel bad about myself in any way. Everyone deserves love without conditions or expectations placed, and if I’m truly authentic…I’ll attract my tribe. And I will KNOW what is right for me and what is not. I can create a cool little circle of trust and connection. But it’s not attachment. Love is freedom.
Give without Expectation
Give with a thankful heart. If it’s rooted in guilt or to appease another…it’s not pure giving. Giving is a wonderful thing! It’s a way to give back to another I care about. So if I’m going to do it, make sure it’s pure unconditional giving with no strings attached. It’s one of life’s happy little gifts that costs nothing, and the rewards are always great.
Do What You Love
I have a shirt I bought years ago that says “Do what you Love”
Farm girls make a wood pile. May Long 2018
That phrase didn’t mean a lot to me until I became very intentional with my time and energy. I shifted careers in search of balance with my children. I work, they school, and together we meet after the day is done. It’s been an amazing shift for my kids and I. I truly do love what I do. I literally get paid to visit and help people. No matter where I am, if it’s in service of others, I’m all about it. I find fulfillment within giving. I’ve learned a lot about serving others at my job. I still come home with energy and that’s a wonderful thing!
Find the Ways My Body Enjoys Movement
The best form of exercise is the one you enjoy. Run. Jog. Walk. Kayak. Go for a bike ride. Lift heavy things. Play a sport. Just play. Enjoy the freedom of challenging the body. That feeling of being alive within movement….oh it’s so good! Because if you don’t use it, you will lose it. That’s the truth.
Sit in Grief and Then Build the Good Stuff
No more running from the tricky stuff. Do I have the courage to sit within loss? Grieve. Let go. Actually feel the feelings, no more numbing anything. Become comfortable within discomfort. And then focus on creating positive memories. Intentionally bring conscious awareness to the good stuff by bringing all the senses into an amazing moment. You see, that’s where a memory is built. Drink it in. Mindful and with intention.
Be Ever Mindful of My Energy
Energy is infectious. If it’s off, take time to get it right agin. And then spread the happy, uplifting, positive. You never know how that may impact another. I do know how uplifting energy has impacted my life. I am so grateful for the energy-givers in my world.
Find My Voice
I think I say this every year, but finding my voice has been a very long road. Sometimes the voice I use is not authentic; and I feel it in my soul when I don’t speak my truth. When I would rather appease than speak up. When I stay silent rather than standing up for what’s right for my heart. Check myself. Words + Actions = Integrity.
Thank you to all who continue to uplift, support, and encourage me. I hope I do the same for you. I will keep on trying to do my best in that area.
I found a whole lot of happy and fulfillment this year, and I’m excited to keep on learning and growing. I don’t even fear the tricky stuff anymore. I do not fear loss or discomfort within the new. I’ve intentionally sought ways to be uncomfortable and challenge myself this year, and surrounded myself with others who do the same.
The challenge within transition builds a strength of character. You not only find out who you are in your spirit, but also who stands tall beside you.
At a very early age, it was in my nature to question everything. At times it was fuelled by self-doubt, but mainly to get to the root of Why.
To give purpose to.
I’ve always sought the purpose for my life. There HAS to be more to this life than work, eat, sleep, repeat.
I will spin it back to one word: Love.
To explore passions and empower/encourage others to do the same.
I do not choose a mediocre life. Now, the word “mediocre” can mean something completely different to me as it does to you. Perhaps a more accurate statement is that I choose to be conscious and intentional with my time, energy, and words. I want my words to match my actions: which is integrity. I seek Quality living which is not found within titles or things or status.
As a child, I recognized I had the power to transform any “perceived” reality within my mind’s consciousness.
On my childhood farm, we had this path lined with towering spruce trees. The path was not well-worn, so wild grass grew freely. I know I was very young, because I remember the childhood clothes I had on before I reached double digits. I would lay down on that path and stare up to the sky. I still have that scene in my mind’s eye…the tips of spruce trees reaching up to expansive blue skies where birds surfed currents of freedom. The advantage to living so rural is there is pure silence there. What you do hear is nature. And I remember realizing how small I was, but there was a big world out there. That scene reminded me that I will find freedom one day. My own wings.
I didn’t have dreams to be a Ballerina or an Astronaut. I had dreams to just love, accept, support and empower others. I know that’s who I am not only since it lives within my first memories, but also because during my darkest hour, I chose that.
I chose that within some of life’s trickiest times when I could have chosen revenge, insecurity, bitterness, and negativity.
Bring it back to Love.
What does that mean for the everyday?
Choose Quality.
What makes you feel alive?
What makes you feel most in tune with your spirit side?
WHO makes you feel alive?
What makes you laugh, and feel true happiness?
Where does your passion lie?
For me, I have become very intentional with my time, words, and creating a harmonious, loving, peaceful environment.
I identified my feel-good elements and in my free time (because we all have a 9-5 that carries an environment not always full of awesomeness), I choose those! Not even feel-good…some are feel-amazing.
I find it within my Miracle Morning.
Moving and eating the way my body is designed to work best. With balance; not lack or restriction.
Going for a walk or run outside.
Soak up the sun, feel it on my face. Breath in some air. Take in some nature eye-candy.
Explore.
Finding beauty within the ordinary and the extrodinary: Photography
Meet new people, because absolutely everyone who crosses your path can teach you something. Both in what you want, who you want to grow to be; and who you don’t want to be. When I meet a closed off/guarded person, I’m curious with genuine care how they came to be that way. I feel empathy for it, because it’s a pretty lonely existence to never trust and go through life denying the connection with others. I refuse to choose that nor do I take it personally if it’s directed my way.
You do You. I do Me.
Most importantly, I choose strong links in my chain. It’s easy to see who those people are. Not only will they stand beside you within your low-vibe days; but they are truly happy for your successes. They want as much happiness for you as they do for themselves. That’s called being secure within yourself.
Find people who remind you not to take yourself or life too seriously. Carve little moments of time out for those people. We are all “busy”. Give me an hour with my girls, I’m energized for days.
It’s cold for spring, but I can turn on my fireplace with a good book, talk to my bestie Darina on the phone for hours laughing about nothing and everything, buy some tulips for my table. I don’t actually have to wait for them to pop out of the snow on my neighbours yard. Turn up the music…whatever makes me feel something. Dance in my kitchen while I cook high-quality foods I know will give me energy for my busy week. Open a window, pull back the drapes, let the sun shine in.
Good Vibes Only.
Fill my home with little mementos that remind me of my goals and values so I’ll never lose my way.
The stack of vintage books from the old Windermere school in Vermilion my Mom gave me: Never stop learning or dull the quest for continued knowledge.
The hand-painted canvas of owls my daughter made me: Freedom and creativity.
Allan Sapp’s painting “Baby is Sleeping”: My roots and my Grandma Perkins
The Buddha photo I took while visiting with soul-food friends: Harmony
The WW bobble head on my mantle that was gifted to me by my Kismet spirit/truth-teller/mini gang: Know your fackin’ worth and embrace your inner power. Own it.
Whatever you choose to do with your time, I wish for you Quality.
Top-Shelf living with passion, love, and Zen Joy.
Life is beautiful and you have the power to create an amazing one.
I am figuring out a new schedule in the pursuit of balance. I am finding my way! I was honestly worried how I was going to balance it all, and keep on top of my health and wellness as I started a new job (which lacks movement).
It comes back to the tools…
I recognized early on in my losing phase, that I have these 3 core tools at my disposal. Ideally, they all work together for balance. But if I can’t focus as much on one side of the triangle, there are two others I can use and some weeks, just one (as I’ve come to understand).
When I had more time in my week (and at times my energy levels), I could eat well, get my cardio and strength training in and my healthy weight always stabilized.
Now…I have less time for the cardio/strength part, but I still make time for 3 workouts a week in. I schedule these as an important appointment I will not miss. It’s a choice. I now focus more on the nutrition/water side.
Which means weekly big cooks on Sundays so I always have healthy proteins/good carbohydrates/healthy fats on hand. Create a no fail environment as best I can.
My week-ends are my two big workouts, and I will not put them on hold for anyone. It’s a non-negotiable time because I know how important this element is to my mind/body/soul. I’m no good to anyone if I don’t take care of myself.
After Christmas I was up in weight, as I am every year. No biggie, but I also knew I was about to start a new job which was behind a desk. It’s been years since I did that type of work, so I was nervous.
I’m so happy to see what transpired by shifting focus and creating a new program. I was able to lose my holiday weight and stay on track. I’ve focussed on full body workouts and 4 main strength movements that are compound exercises (meaning more than one muscle group). I’m working around a shoulder injury as well as healing an Achilles.
Squat
Deadlift
Rows/chinups
Presses/pushups
I start with cardio. 20-30 minutes and move into strength. I’ve added core work within the movements (engage core, add in a bosu, adjust lever length, put myself off-kilter like a single-leg deadlift, etc).
I’m sharing this today, because I had that urge to fall into my own excuses and self-imposed limitations. Ooooh, the urge can be so strong.
“I have no time”
“I have an injury”
There is always time if you make it. There’s a gift in intentional time…I spend less time on elements that do not impact my life in a positive way.
I can work around my injuries and allow time to heal. I do not focus on my weakness, but rather my strengths.
I alone am responsible for my health and wellness.
And I’m so thankful for the many tools at my disposal as life shifts and changes. Because it will…. There will always be changes and limitations.
I am the designer of my life (as are you). Quality life. Whole-hearted living. Balanced and joy-filled.
Now that I’m on a different time-table, I have decided to do one big cook on Sundays that will last the week (rather than a couple cooks in a week).
As I type this it’s 7:00 p.m., and I started this big cook at 5:00.
I usually make 2 proteins. Some sort of veggies (often added to all the dishes). Healthy grains. And a soup. I add a variety of veggies: onions, peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, celery, etc. within some of the dishes.
So here are my meals for the week (and I can mix and match)…
Top left to right: Quinoa, Butternut Squash, Korean BBQ Chicken Breast with Mushrooms/Green Peppers
Bottom left to right: Ground Turkey/Veggies/Salsa, Spaghetti Squash, Mexican Taco Soup
I always do a ground turkey or chicken/veg fry which can be a topper for salads, omelettes, spaghetti, soup, or multi-grain wraps.
My sauce/seasonings to almost all proteins is olive oil, or Balsamic vinegar of Modena, or Salsa and whatever seasonings I enjoy: chilli powder, sea salt, pepper, garlic powder, paprika, etc. Pick your flava-flave.
The Veggie base to all proteins is usually onions, garlic, peppers, cauliflower rice, celery…whatever I have in my fridge. I tell the kids the specks of colour is flavour. They gobble it right up.
So fry your veg/ground turkey or chicken up using whatever seasonings/veg you like…
You now have a base for a whole bunch of different meals. Yay you!
Then throw some chicken breasts in the oven. I enjoy a little Korean BBQ sauce and seasonings/veggies on top. I bake that while I’m frying up the ground chicken.
Meanwhile on another burner…I cook up some Quinoa. This can be served on the bottom of your ground turkey fry, with your chicken breasts, or made into a salad. A healthy carb with added benefit of protein. 2:1 water/quinoa.
I baked my butternut squash and spaghetti squash in the same oven. Cut it in half, drizzle with olive oil/a bit of brown sugar/cinnamon/salt/pepper. Roast skin side up at 375/400 for around 45 min. Squash is a tasty carb and full of vitamins/minerals/nutrients (also fairly low GI). It’s great fuel for workouts.
In a big pot I made my soup. There’s this lovely family at the farmer’s market who sells soup kits. This one is Mexican Taco. I added water/stock, and fried up the same base as I did the ground turkey (onions, garlic, peppers, cauliflower rice, celery, tomatoes). Then I mixed in the soup mix, and let that all simmer and chill for about a half hour.
That ground turkey or chicken topper? …put it on top of the soup after (so that topper can be used for other meals as well)
All my burners/oven were used. And while everything was cooking, I cut up some veggies to throw into baggies for snacks. Washed up some fruit for snacks too.
Now when I come home after work, it’s all there and ready for warming up. I have a bunch of variety to pack for lunches too. No excuses not to eat healthy. For two hours of work, I save myself so much time and energy. Preparation is key for me.
I hope this helps! I get asked about meal prep often, so I thought I would devote a post to it. 🙂
Since I started my Miracle Morning routine, I have read a whole lot of books on a variety of subjects. As I started keying in topics that interested me into Amazon, I stumbled across a devoted topic interest group in the health over 40 and up category. I decided to google the topic as well. That’s what I do when I’m confused…I do the google.
Here I am gracefully (and not so gracefully some days) now in the 40’s demographic, and I had no idea that I was supposed to feel doom and gloom about my advancing decline to my health due to aging bones and decreased muscle mass. ha!
I wake up feeling more vibrant and alive than I did in my 20’s, so maybe I am missing something.
Once I started becoming more “informed” on the ways my body would increasingly defy me as the hands of time tick on by, I decided that perhaps knowledge is not power. It was in fact, disempowering.
Perhaps I should have awoken on my 40th birthday with a manual on how to live differently, like in Beetlejuice when they realize they might be dead.
The more I read, the more I wanted to devote a blog post in support of my fellow 40 somethings and up. Because this age is awesome! And it just keeps getting better.
What I’ve decided today is that I’m no longer going to google, but rather live the way I want to and can.
Can you be fit at 40?
Of course you can.
Are there more obstacles in your way?
Perhaps
But youth and vitality can live within the mind. Just ask my 21-year-old who many days is more adultier than I am.
So here are a few ways in which being 40 (actually I had to do math I’m 41 almost 42) is…in fact…ridiculously awesome.
Numero Uno..1
You give less of a F$ck what people think of you. You really do. You settle beautifully into authenticity as you’ve navigated some tricky times by now, and you are still here kicking and screaming. 😉 And I hear from others it gets even better and conversation less filtered and more real. I wish I had this confidence and self-assured nature in my 20’s and 30’s; but then again I probably wouldn’t have understood it without that younger naivety and the quest to live up to a standard that just isn’t sustainable. So I just do my best and forget the rest. The more authentic I’ve become, the more people learn the real Me. It’s always exciting when someone tags me in a ridiculously weird video and says “this is something you would do” because they are always correct. Let your weird flag fly.
Numero Duh…2
If you have laugh lines on your face, it means you are pretty stellar at laughing and smiling through your days. Yay you! It’s Ok to have too much fun and laugh at yourself. The other day in the gym, I had a new water bottle with a screw cap and as I bent over I poured the whole thing all over myself and then screamed. Meh. Clean up on aisle 3.
Numero twat…3
You know how to do a bunch of stuff now and you can teach other people some stuff too. People naturally think you know stuff because you have those laugh lines and know how to dress the part. I giggled as I was training within my new job this week as people thought I was the manager supervising because I looked adultier than the person training me. ha! You probably have a reliable car to get you places and a house you can host fancy dinner parties if you feel so inclined.
Numero Kitten…4
You realize those “perfect” people who look very put together and seemingly have it all are no differently disheveled as you are at times. In fact, nothing is ever as it seems. Everyone, including me, is a ‘lil screwed up and you can now identify with them and have some empathy and compassion. That perfect marriage you were envious of can end in divorce the next month. That family with the impeccably dressed kids and well-behaved demeanour have a raging house party ending with police intervention. That business professional fancy-pants who walks into the gym, they are a hot sweaty mess just like me after the hour. Sweat freely, but separately (headphones in, don’t approach lol) We are all imperfectly perfect. Rather than judging, let’s sing kumbaya and exchange war stories over a glass of wine and some laughter…you know, work on those laugh lines a bit more.
Numero one hand…5
You aren’t really afraid of failing, starting over again, or to learn new things. With the advancing of age, comes the knowledge that you have this one life. If it’s not fun, create your own fun. You probably failed at a few thingies by now, and why not just keep trying? Redesigning your life on your terms becomes exciting. At least that’s where I’m at now. Starting over in a new career. Tweaking earlier career’s as I’ve learned. Course correction with excitement.
Numero half a dozen…6
You learn to let go and move on with a smile on your face (even if that smile takes some time to appear). At this stage, you are no longer interested in changing anyone. You accept others as they are (because you get that it’s impossible to change someone else). If it doesn’t align with your way of life, no worries. All the best to you. Metaphorical scooter away.
Numero my favourite #…7
You can in fact, be in the best shape of your life. Speaking from my experience: I’ve tried the fads. I’ve eaten the wrong foods (I still will cut a bitch for a plate of nachos so I refrain from ordering for safety of all involved) and learned how they made me feel. I’m not afraid of hard work. I want to be a better version of me. Stronger. It’s so freeing and beautiful! I actually have the confidence to try a new program and hold my ground in the meat-head section…we pay the same membership people..please move over.
Here’s to growing, evolving, learning and continued confidence and laughter along the way. Growing older is nothing to fear, but rather to embrace with grace and wisdom.
Just do your best!
This is me by the way, for those new blog followers. Hi and thanks for reading/following 🙂
I used to be afraid of change. I like things to stay the same. Because it’s what I’m used to. I become comfortable even within discomfort. Like when kids puts their shoes on the wrong feet so many times, they start thinking it’s the way it’s supposed to be.
I wore a left shoe on the right foot…which was the wrong foot for a very long time in my early stages of adulting.
You see life isn’t supposed to stay the same. Seasons change. People grow apart, and some grow closer.
It’s all part of life and keeping balanced. Of learning and growing stronger in Mind/Body/Spirit.
When I started stepping out of my comfort zone, amazing shifts started transpiring within my life.
Last summer I spent a few weeks doing something uncomfortable daily. It was scary for me, but I learned a lot. I met many people who shared a different point of view on life. I ran further than ever before. I stripped off my makeup and learned to love my true reflection. Appreciated the laugh lines for the joy they showed. I let go of relationships that were not equal. I learned to back up a trailer, and hauled it all over camping. Water-skied again. Ate weird foods. Drove the long way home. Hiked new paths. I dove into reading subject areas where I had little knowledge of. I took rest days when my body needed them (which was uncomfortable for my mind).
Within the discomfort came an awakening of my spirit. To challenge my thought processes. Listen more, talk with intention. Be myself. Imperfect and Authentic.
As I am going into this New Year, I am again in a place of making changes. I look at change more so as course correction now. Aligning my children’s needs, my needs, with actions that are within my control. I have one life. It’s my job to design the best life possible for my family.
I am starting a new job next week within customer service at a bank. I love customer service; so I’m excited! I need to shop for fancy pants…all my pants are of the yoga variety. 😉
I will have more time to rebuild my life with my kids in the way they need me to be here. They school, and I’ll work while they learn. Home together for supper around the table.
I’m very grateful for the past two years of life experience as I trained. I’m amazed by each tenacious, hard-working, motivated person who crossed my path. Thank you to all who positively affected my journey along the way. You have no idea of the impact you made on my life.
It was a gift to my soul within perfect timing and I will miss seeing those I trained often. More importantly, I will miss supporting them every week. But I know I will always have those bonds we’ve built and I’m grateful for that. Always here for you my friends with love and support. You can always find me here (and plus most of you have my digits ha!) I’ll just support you in a new and different way.
When I first made the decision to make a job change, it felt very selfish…however, I’ve learned that self-love and taking the time to rebuild is not selfish. It’s imperative for a joy-filled, authentic, happy life full of purpose and pride. I’m doing my best to raise my kids to be amazing adults. I have learned to listen to my instincts and course correct as my situation changes and evolves.
So here’s to change. Growth. Learning. New!
If you have fear over making a change in your life, focus on just doing your best. Go into each day observing the thoughts of fear that may come up, and literally push them out. Those fear drenched thoughts are much like a child having a tantrum. There is no place in your life for fear. Fear is future based. And you are living RIGHT NOW in this present moment.
If you feel guilt or regret, that is your past talking. Again, take solace in the beauty of today. You don’t live in your past anymore. Waste no time on worry or doubt…they are senseless emotions that will only serve to keep you stuck and complacent.
You are strong, resilient, and you have the power over your perceptions.
Simply do your best. That’s all you can do. But truly dig deeper and challenge yourself to in fact do your best.
I often have to check myself when I have moments of free-time. I sometimes waste that free time feeling guilty about what I “should” be doing…the virtual to-do list within my mind. Why not take that time to enjoy whatever it is that will refresh my soul, and then go back to work. Enjoy a sunset. Take a nap. Visit with a friend without interruptions of technology. Read a good book. Go for walk. Laugh! Shoulder dance in my kitchen. ha!
One part Chill, One part Driven. Yin/Yang
This year was a great one! I am happy. My kids are doing great and they are happy too. We have open good communication. I met so many amazing people, and had some cool opportunities come my way. If you are strolling by the magazine stands, I’m in Optimyz magazine’s December/January issue.
For a couple of years now, I’ve been on a new path of designing my life in a different way. When I started this blog 9 years ago, I called it Reclaiming Life, without knowing what that would mean today at this stage of my life.
Now, reclaiming my life today has proven to be much trickier than loosing 100 pounds; but the parallels are there just the same.
One piece of the puzzle that has been elusive to me these past few years, is the importance of Rest. Reset. Recharge.
Three amazing kids
Two careers
One thankful (but admittedly tired) Mom.
Last week at the gym, I had a conversation with a regular goer (he’s an encourager). Us regulars, who workout at a certain time of the day, get to know one another a little.
Like-energy attracts like-energy…I learn this the more authentic I become.
The only way to be authentic is to be unapologetically yourself.
If you build it, they will come. Building in this case, equates to character/outlook on life, and it has attracted the most genuine friendships with like-minded people (which I’m so grateful for…thank you to my tribe)
Back to the gym conversation…we have talked about training in the past, how to push out of a plateau. To grow in strength and develop conditioning. Last week’s conversation was different.
“Have you considered resting for a week?” he asked.
What do you mean rest? I thought. I have goals! I need to figure this stuff out for not only myself, but for my clients. If I rest, I might fall into complacency. A week?
He continued, “When was the last time you gave your body a rest from the type of workouts you’ve done?”
As I spun to nowhere on my exercise bike, I realized it had been over two years. Wow, has it been two years? Sure I’ve taken rest days, but I have put a lot of pressure on myself for two years. To be strong in mind/body/spirit. Even on my rest days, I feel guilty…like I’m being lazy. Not doing enough. The destructive pursuit of trying to press growth when maybe…just maybe…growth happens when you allow the body to rest.
I know this. How do I not know this for myself?
He encouraged, or more so challenged me to take Friday to Sunday off at least. I agreed.
Friday was no big deal, my body was tired. I welcomed the rest.
Saturday came, and through out the day my mind told me to get my workout in. Over and over on repeat. Like a broken record.
No, I committed to rest. And then it occurred to me, that I was missing the point. Rest means to recharge. If I was going to take some rest days, why not do the very things that recharge my soul over the week-end. Music. Writing. Photography. Coffee with a friend. Spending time with my kids.
So I did all those things. I traveled to a session for a family I’ve photographed for years. I relaxed right into our time together. Marvelling at this beautifully connected family they have created together, I remembered back to photographing them when they were first dating. Now they have created a fierce little army of love. It was because of this reflection, that I shot the session with more parallels back to their other sessions, so they would have some comparison photos as to how their lives have evolved. How good!
The next day, I told my kids to get ready for our very own family session. I’m lucky my son’s girlfriend agrees to take photos of me with the kids, so I can actually be in them. We took our time getting ready. Even turned my curling iron on. 🙂 Side note: I regretted that decision half way through, but you can’t have a half curly head…so I forged on. Curled my daughter’s hair too. Funny enough, the wind took the curl right out of my poker straight hair anyway, but my daughter’s hair stayed delightfully bouncy.
We went to this little lane way (which incidentally I found out about from Mr. Rest-Encourager). I saw another photographer there whom I have met before (not such an unknown location apparently). She was in the middle of photographing a family.
“Amazing Couch” I said to her as I noticed the very couch that had been in my head for years…my dream vintage couch I’ve been scouring kijiji for to bring to sessions. In the exact shade of blue I’ve envisioned.
“Oh ya, it was just sitting here, I don’t know who’s it is”
I blinked slowly, WHAT?! Are you serious?
The kids and I went to a lane way over to wait patiently for the dream couch to be open.
I’ve always dreamt of having photos of my children on a lane way lined with sun-kissed trees that touched, and dragging a vintage couch there. And there is was. Magically, on a day of rest which I needed more than I knew.
This is how Law of Attraction works…I’ve had the most weirdly amazing experiences when I figured this out.
Now, I will preface these photos by telling you that our family is weird. We are lovers of odd, awkward, weird, funny. Not everyone gets our sense of humour, but that’s the kind of photos I wanted. I also took normal ones in the beginning, but the funny ones are my favourite. So we just went with it.
Monday I woke up with more zest and excitement to get back to my workouts than I’ve had in a very long time. I truly felt rested and I had the best workout as a result. Later that day, I went to my training shift. One of my clients had seen my photos on Facebook, and told me she saw two people dragging that very couch into that very lane way the week before as they were shooting mini sessions.
So a great big..HUGE…thank you…
To Mr. Rest-Encourager
To the photographer I knew who told me the couch was available to use (and made sure she gave me some time to use it as well)
To my client who solved the mystery of the abandoned vintage couch
And to the stranger photographer(s) who drug it there in the first place. I’m very thankful it was there for my very own session, and I hope no one takes it from you (it’s a pretty amazing piece to just be chillin’ there under a magical archway of trees).
I thought I would share my journal entry from my Miracle Morning… Which, by the way, I have a copy of the book of if you want to borrow it. Just message me (even if you live far away, I’ll mail it)
I often romanticized things, so when I got my personal training certification, I was excited to share with others how fitness, eating for fuel, learning to look at food in a positive way, getting off the couch, moving with freedom…can change your entire world/relationships/self-worth/happiness. I only know this because I was lucky enough to stumble upon it when I was fighting my own demons.
A customary question that arises when you meet new people is “So what do you do?”
I would answer: “I’m a Photographer and a Personal Trainer”
What I’ve found over the years, almost always everyone gets the “photographer” part; but the personal training element often comes with some interesting questions all based around aesthetics.
How much weight can you squat?
How often do you work out?
What do you weigh?
It can be reduced to reps and sets and which “diet” is best.
That line of questioning has always been an uncomfortable place for me, not because of the judgments or labels (it’s easy to want to put people in tidy little boxes/categories to understand); but rather because it’s not what this is about for me. It’s intensely personal in many regards, but it has little to do with aesthetics.
It’s about self-worth.
Happiness
Love.
It’s more than going back to biology roots of how our bodies are designed to move and fuel. It’s the heart of what makes us human: compassion, pride, joy, self-love. Not just existing but rather LIVING with a fire in our soul, and passion within our spirit.
I certainly do not have all the answers; I’m still figuring it out as life moves along. But I do know who I am as a woman: my goals/aspirations/dreams and what drives me within finding purpose in life.
We all need purpose. It’s what fulfills and connects us. Pushes us to grow and evolve.
There is wisdom within purpose.
And I thought about it a different way this morning, if learning to finally take care of myself in love created a purpose within me to share that with others; then I am one lucky person. I’m grateful.
I see beauty within everyone I meet. We all have strength within us that can (if fed) create an urging to burst out of whatever self-imposed cage we are living within.
I laugh at some of my “excuses” when I fall into complacency. They are just lies I tell myself to make it acceptable to do “less than” I am able. I would not wish that for my children, or for those I love most in life.
I guess that has become an accurate measurement of where I’m at in regards to self-love/self-worth. Do I want as much happiness, zest for life, fulfillment for myself as I do for my children?
There is no pride found within bingeing on anything. It’s a tool to numb. To not feel.
Are we not meant to feel? Even the horrible stuff. It’s part of what makes us human. We can however choose the elements in which we navigate those troubled waters making it a little less painful.
I did not find it within food, or alcohol, or sitting in that stupid chair in isolation beside a TV.
I renewed my spirit (and continue to) within….
~Sharing openly (with healthy boundaries)
~Fitness and challenging my body to grow in strength
~Surrounding myself with people who love me and want the best for my life (and I them)
I found myself within…
~Trails of sun-kissed leaves and the healing currents of water
~Sweat and tears and laughter despite my fears
~The urging of my legs to keep on moving because there are some not so fortunate and would give anything to do so (love you Janice)
~Foods that provide energy, nutrients, and vitamins
~Writing, reading, and growing to be a better version of myself to love others authentically
~Honest communication between like-minded people with similar struggles in which my empathetic heart connects with theirs through shared experiences
This is why I’m a personal trainer. I’m not sure I fit into the “mould” of what a personal trainer looks like, but I’m living my truth.
But that’s a pretty long-winded answer and congrats if you got to the end of this post. 😉
Reclaiming LIFE 